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I am so sorry but I'm happy to see people have been supportive I had a very similar problem as you but I was quite a bit younger I didn't have to make a decision, I miscarried. that was frightening and I heard abortions are firghtening as well. I am not here to push my views on you, so I won't, but if you don't believe in abortions and you don't want to waste a life, but it is also hard for yuou to imagine giving up a child, and if you know that would really hurt you. Then there are "open adoptions" usually when people adopt a baby from birth, you interview the parents and PICK the parents but they havve to agree to let the child still talk to you and you still be some part of their life, even if it's small. The child will usually know you are the biological mother, but may not call you mom so that might be difficult. It's a hard decision either way if you still think that would be very hard, you could always keep the baby. This will be very hard, and the only way it could work for both you AND the baby is if you have a family willing to help you...You never know what your family might be willing to do. Also remember that an aborition is not always wasting a life... in some situations it is saving a baby from a very hard life. I urge you not to let the father influence you. I mean you think "oh it's the father" but it's your life too... and don't let him make you do ANYTHING you don't want to do. Good luck sweetie! |
I am so sorry but I'm happy to see people have been supportive I had a very similar problem as you but I was quite a bit younger I didn't have to make a decision, I miscarried. that was frightening and I heard abortions are firghtening as well. I am not here to push my views on you, so I won't, but if you don't believe in abortions and you don't want to waste a life, but it is also hard for yuou to imagine giving up a child, and if you know that would really hurt you. Then there are "open adoptions" usually when people adopt a baby from birth, you interview the parents and PICK the parents but they havve to agree to let the child still talk to you and you still be some part of their life, even if it's small. The child will usually know you are the biological mother, but may not call you mom so that might be difficult. It's a hard decision either way if you still think that would be very hard, you could always keep the baby. This will be very hard, and the only way it could work for both you AND the baby is if you have a family willing to help you...You never know what your family might be willing to do. Also remember that an aborition is not always wasting a life... in some situations it is saving a baby from a very hard life. I urge you not to let the father influence you. I mean you think "oh it's the father" but it's your life too... and don't let him make you do ANYTHING you don't want to do. Good luck sweetie! |
I am 16 and have had the scare of thinking i was once or twice... its not the same as being of course but i do understand how scary it is! I would definately say not to abort your baby it deserves to be able to live a life! Stay strong and tell your parents soon! And Stay in school! Are you a senior? Well good luck and keep us updated if you need anything there are lots of ppl on here to help! And as you can see lots of people have been in the same situation and got through it! You can to! Next step is telling your parents ! You can do it! |
OK - since your sister has already been thru this, have they written her off or are they involved? If they have a good relationship now and are attached to their grandchild, it may not be quite as bad as you expect. Knowing the love they have for her child may make it easier to accept you bringing another gift into their world. |
I'm sorry you're going through this:( I would almost bet money that your parents regret not being there for your sister and that they would be more understanding with your situation. You are also younger, they can't just toss you out. Maybe it would help to have a third party there with you when you tell them, an aunt, cousin, friend of the family that you trust? You will get through this, and we're all here to listen. Whatever you decide to do, you have lots of support here!:love: |
Tell them Hey, you must find some way to let your parents know...this situation isnt going to go away; trust me I know...been there done that! I remember wanting to die and didnt know how in the world I would tell my Mom...telling my Dad...well I just couldnt. None the less I did tell them and after tears and a few "I told you sos" everything worked out fine. What ever you do dont make a hasty decision; this is a decision that needs to be thought out and thought out and thought out. Your bf is the least of your worries right now, your health is number one, your babies future, your future...these are the important things right now. What ever your plans were..college, career, etc you can do anything with a child or if you think it would be best for everyone to not have a child now or possibly adoption...this is your choice. Your parents will have only your best interest at hand so let them have input, but make sure they know what road you want to take (after you weigh all options). I had a daughter in high school, married, divorced within a year (I advise you dont marry because of a pregnancy) and my daughter and I grew up together...you will miss out on a few things...and have to sacrifice for a child but life will go on. I am sorry you are carrying this burden and can totally relate..good luck and keep your head up...everything happens for a reason. |
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Tell them ... they are sure to find out soon enough and itz best coming from you. You'd be surprised how they may react ... all parents dream of being g'parents ... this happened to my sister and she had the baby and the b'friend (husband) ... she kept the kids and got rid of the husband ..... and my parents were so happy (after the shock of "what am I going to tell the family") Things are different now, there are more outreach programs to help you ... support groups and all. I remember you were going to go to Univ. of P.R. Keep those plans and still go to college (even if itz not in PR) One thing you will never regret is having your baby and having a college degree as well. And ... as an aside, Kick that boyfriend (cough cough) to the curb. Unless he wants to take care of the baby, itz YOUR decision. I wish you the best and remember YT is alwayz here for you. |
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First of all I want you to know I'm glad you had the courage to tell all of us about this. We are all here for you. I just want you to know... If you want this baby, you can do it. I had a friend who got pregant at 18 and her parents flipped out... after a while they accepted it and they are wonderful to her children. You have to give your parents time to adjust to all of this. This will not be easy on them for they see there little girl in trouble. But please, please, please dont let anyone talk you into an abortion. Tell you parents that this is there grand baby. I had sister who had an abortion and it has haunted her all of her life. If you decide that you just cant do this please consider adoption. There are soooo many wonderful people out there who cant have kids like Janet and make a wonderful life for them. There are open adoptions too. A lady that I use to work with daughter go pregant at 16... well they made her give up the baby..(which I didnt agree with. I thought it should be her choice) anyways they had an open adoption. The other parents were with her through out her pregancy and helped her out and helped her pay for her medical bills. After the baby was born they sent pictures every 3 months and still send them. It has been very hard for this young lady seeing her baby and wanting her so badly but she knows she is loved and with people who have given her a great home. The grandma regretes ever making her do the adoption thing. What ever choice you make dont be rush rush about it. Take your time and decide what is best for you and your baby. Children was wonderful and a true mircle from God. Please tell your parents and give them time too. You have to tell the father too. Its his baby too and you owe it to him. Let him make his own decision. After all it takes two. You should not be the only one going through all of this. You, your baby and your parents will be in my prayers. If you ever need to talk, we will all be here. |
I am so sorry you are put under this stress at this point in your life. But you aren't alone. My best friend had her first kid as a senior in highschool. She was kicked out of her mom's house and lived with her dad until she and her BF could afford a place of their own. She has since had a second child, an abortion, and a stillborn. She has remained strong, and I have remained supportive of all of her choices. She couldn't imagine life without her children. She is finishing school and has an amazing job. It has been hard, but it is doable. My other friend had her first kid at the age of 15. And my other friend had her first child at 16. They have all been through some tough times, but they have all pulled through. I have been in your situation (almost) at one point. My boyfriend and I were engaging in sexual activity a couple of years ago when I was 17 and the condom broke (and neither one of us knew it until things were "over") I don't know how I managed to do it, but my BF and I sat my mom and his dad down THAT NIGHT and told them what happened. Instead of being angry my mom made me some tea, hugged me and told me she would be there for me. I didn't end up getting pregnant, but it was the hardest month of my life wondering what would happen. My mom, suprisingly enough, was there for me. I hope everything works out for you, Jess. It is obvious that everyone here is rooting for you. PM me if you'd like. |
Sweetie...I have been there too. Only 20 years old and single...I sent you a pm.;) |
My heart aches for you and the burden you have on your mind. I know it's scary to tell your parents, but once you've told them, you won't believe the enormous weight that will be lifted off your shoulders. They likely will be upset at first, but even if they are, you will feel better for having told them. I think they will just need some time to get over the shock and then they will be supporting you. Big hugs and kisses and best wishes to you during this difficult time. I commend you for not wanting an abortion. That's a sweet little precious life inside of you! We're all here for you and I'll remember you and your family in my prayers! |
Your pregnant....Congradulations... Too late for frowny faces...or dissappointment...Now it's time to move forward and do what's best for you and baby....and hope that father of the child really loves you. Your parents will forgive you in time. Love is a funny thing...It's very forgiving! My daughter was pregnant at 15 years old and she had a friend call me to tell me over the phone. I told her friend to have my daughter call me herself. I talked to my daughter and told her.....we will work through this...I talked to her mom who didn't believe me when I told her. To make a long story short....my granddaughter is now 8 years old and she visits me freaquently with her 4 year old brother. I loved my daughter very much back then and I love her now. She's about to graduate from one of our local universities with a teaching degree and she's on the deans list. You can do it too puncha-nella-47. Don't be so hard on yourself and this is not advise as to what to do. You have to make your own decisions! Talk to your parents and start building your relationship with them. Hopefully, it's already a good relationship. Keep me posted on your progress. Whatever the outcome, you'll be fine. |
I've been where you are at only younger than you. I had my son when I was 14 turned 15 yrs old 5 days after he was born. It was very hard...and just like Vilette says...my son made me grow up fast. I missed out on alot of things and also had to drop out of school to take care of him because everyone had to work but I didn't let that bring me down. As soon as I got the help I was able to go back to school and now I have a great job and own a home which is a huge accomplishment for me. I thank God that my family was supportive and my sons father as well (we are not together but we have a great relationship til this day). This is why you need to tell your parents. It is very hard being a young mom but if you decide you want to keep the baby I'm sure everything will work out for you. Just remember its not the end of the world...you are not the first and will not be the last teen mom so please don't look down on yourself. |
You have a lot of support coming here from YT!! I wish you the best in what ever it is you decide. I have pm you! |
Sorry you in this tough situation, but you can't look back now. Make decisions, and tell your parents, don't wait too long. Once they get over the "shock" they will accept it, talk to your sister, and get her advice. In the end, you have to do what's best for you! Best wishes to you. |
Jess, this is a very tough situation. I wish you all the best and please keep us updated. We're all here praying for you. |
Jess, Good luck in whatever you decide to do. I hope everything works out well with your parents and I hope they stand by you on whatever you may decide to do. You've received alot of wonderful advice and I wish you the best. Crystal |
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You are so right. The BF could be gone in a month or to regardless of what you decide. If he loves you he will support your decision, if he doesn't love you then it won't matter in the long run. It will be tough, but I think you already know that. |
You are the only one who knows what is right for you. I am prochoice. Does that mean I'd have an abortion? No...it means that I believe a woman should have a choice as to whether or not she wants to have one. Only YOU know what's right for your situation. There are already lots of children out there that need homes(don't feel you need to bring a child into the world because someone else can't have one, there are more than enough to go around). Don't have an abortion if you won't be able to live with it. No matter what anyone else feels, it is YOUR body, therefore YOUR decision. You'll only scare yourself with those sites. There isn't a site that shows you how hard it is being a mom and those sites are NOT the norm. They're for shock value. I miscarried my first two pregnancies. Neither one ever had a heartbeat. Do I say two of my children died? No, I say I miscarried. If that wouldn't have happened then I wouldn't have had the two I have now because I wouldn't have had 4 children. All the choices are hard but no one should judge you. It's scary what you're going through right now. Having a baby should be a joyous happy time. Maybe you can see a free counselor and decide what you want before you tell your parents? Then at least you have a starting point because right now, it just sounds like you're scared and understandbly so. Whatever you decide, don't feel you have to tell anyone here your decision. We are just offering our own advice, take it or not. Good luck, honey. |
Hey everyone, Sorry I haven't replied to some PM's yet. I told my parents this morning so I'm not at home right now. I'm staying at my best friends house 2night but will be back home 2morrow. They took it extremely hard and did kick me out at first. But they called me back later on and told me 2 come back, so I'm going 2morrow and were going to talk about it more once they are cooled down. Once again, thanks for all the support! Love, Jessica. |
Dear Jess: I am a mother of two girls. If one of them was pregnant at 17 I would want to know asap. Your parents love you and will guide you with your decision, whatever that may be. I would embrace my daughter and support her. I'm sure your parents will do that also. If keeping your baby isn't a possibility then know that there are a lot of childless parents out there yearning to love a child. That child could be yours. Try to keep an open mind. God bless you. |
awwwww I hope everything works out for you hun and that they do let you stay home |
im glad they arent going to make you move out! Good Luck!!!! |
jess, i know exactly what you are going through. at the age of 17 my junior year of highschool i got pregnant with my then boyfriend who at the time was ONLY 16 a kid himself. i was scared to death because my father is a strict hispanic man and expected more from me. my then boyfriend and i made the desc. to keep the baby and we told my father. of course like any parent he was dissapointed because he only want the best for hisdaughter and don't want them to suffer .. but in his words "siempre seras mi nina .." ( you'll always be my little girl ). sadly i misscarried according to the doctor i was too petite and young. telling your parents seems like the scariest thing to do but they are the ONLY ones who will support you 100% no matter what. |
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I hope things go well for you. Your parents did the right thing ... they love you and don't really want to lose you, they were just stunned. When they 'came to their senses' ... they called you ... things will work out, Jessica, we all know you will make the decision thatz best for you. Keep your options open. with concern, Debbie |
Ok I'm home already. My mom didn't want me spending the night anywhere else because she wanted to talk to me. We talked and I'm going to keep the baby. They are going to help me and make sure I stay in school and accomplish everything I've planned. I will stay living at home, thank God. |
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Whew! I am so glad your parents are supportive ... they love you ... they only have your best interests at heart. I know that sounds corny ... but itz the truth. Now you just concentrate on taking care of yourself, going to school and think positively. |
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Yeah..... I'm so happy for you. I send you many happy thoughts and blessings. |
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