I'm so scared

[veguroev]

I'm the type of girl that buys things without looking at the price. I don't really care how much something is if I like it I buy it. Luckily, my husband has a pretty good job and I just work part time, so I don't get bored around the house . That extra money I make I use it to buy stuff for my Jerome, Chikis and Kiki, I buy things for myself too and of course for hubby, but I don't worry about paying the bills, or the house or things like that. I don't mean to sound snotty, 'cause I'm not. Well, last week, my husbands company which is a big company in the aerospace industry, lost a contract against another company. The project he was working on would had probably given them jobs for the next 20 years, now all the people that where involved in the project including my husband are kind of wondering what is going to happen to them since the projectsthey have now are not a juicy as the one they just lost, and also, hubby is saying that on Tuesday they are going to have a meeting and some big shot like the second of the CEO is coming to Houston to talk about what they lost. So, hubby is talking about maybe some lay offs, that really scares me, it gives me the chills all the way to my bones. Hubby told me not to spend a lot of money on things, try to buy groceries and look at the prices,
that if he loses his job I would be the one making some of the payments, like the house. I don't mind that but, the thought about him losing his job terrifies me. I know he would be depressed, and I think I would be too, not only that, but to think that we would be using money that we have save for retirement or just to have it i the bank growing it just scares me. I'm really scared, and I just don't know what to do. He's told me that this is serious and that it can happen. He's been with the company for many years, I don't know if that can help him because when companies lay off people don't they do it to the new people?. On the other hand, he is not a spring chicken either so like he says he is not as marketable as if he was 20 years younger , so it would be harder for him to find a job, although he is going to school to get his masters, he is not finished yet. I don't know... all this really scares me and makes me appreciate things and see things from a different perspective.
I just wanted to talk to someone about it.
It is not a good feeling, it really sucks.

[yougetthesmiles]

I hate having to look at prices and wonder, "do I really need that" I wish we had enough money to be comfortable and be able to buy the things I need and not have to worry about where the money came from, but unfor I have to, and so do tuns of other people. I guess it really makes you appreciate the things you have.
I'm sure it will be hard for you at 1st, but just remember all the people who cant have the things you have, think of the kids who have to go to school and dont have the top name brand clothing, who get made fun of cause there not wearing the latest styles. I dont mean to make you feel guilty, it's just reality. I feel so sorry for my little neice who has got most of her clothing from hand me downs that are so old, I try to get her things when I can, but I cant always buy her stuff, I have my own kids who want $50 jeans and $50 shoes! it's unreal!!

[sweetr72]

I guess I am on the other side of the spectrum. I have always had to struggle to make ends meet. My kids get lots of sale or second hand clothes but they are happy and well dressed, might not be name brands but they could care less. My kids never go without and I work my butt off to pay my bills. Buying my dogs was a HUGE investment BUT it was planned out for quite awhile and I had to sell off my doll collection to buy them. Needless to say, they dont have cute clothes or many extras but they dont care lol...look at it this way....everyone is healthy and together you can manage. If it happens, lets pray it doesnt, you will just have to budget your months out carefully and remove things from your budget that you dont need. Looking for new employment can be harder as we get older but not impossible even though it seems it at the time. I guess my biggest word of advise is preparing a budget and REALLY STICKING TO IT. Until you can get back on your feet and feel secure once again.

Dawn

[JeanieK]

Having lived my entire life on the other end of the spectrum, I can't imagine what it is like to not have to think aobut money. All I can say is you'll learn to get by wsith less, and to appreciatie things that you may have taken for granted.

As long as the two of you are healthy and have each other to lean on, I think you'll be fine.

[RowdysMom]

It IS really scarey and it can happen to anyone, no matter what! My husband woke up with a terrible heart problem one morning, back in 2003 and never was able to work a day after that. Just boom - no income. After about a year we were able to get his disability retirement, but those months were very frightening.

You CAN get by on much much less than you are spending right now and if your hubby loses his job, you can survive, especially since you have a job.

Start right now, like your hubby said, start being more conservative - it will get you in the groove, should it really happen. Trust me though, you CAN learn to live on much less and it is OK!

Good luck

[romeos mommy]

what works is no credit cards. go in the store with a certain amount of cash and see how far it goes. cut back fast. good jobs are hard to come by even with a masters degree. i know alot of waiters with degrees.

[Patti]

That's rough. We get use to a certain way of life. I lost my job 1/05 after 33 years at the company, no warning. I had to take early (52 years old) retirement at a much reduced income and I was the major income for the family, my dtr was in her first year of college and we really cut back, paid as many bills off as we could and we are getting by. Hopefully he will not be cut and if he is things work out. Hang in there and start paying off bills and living more frugally it's easier to sleep at night.

[jencar98]

Years ago we had the possibility of being faced with the same thing. I like you was scared to death about how would we make it, with two young children, etc. I worried myself sick for several days and then it just kind of hit me. What would do? Find another job, move on, move away, what ever we had to, I knew we would make it. I began to look at the situation in a different light, more of like a challenge instead of a horrible possibility.

As it turned out he didn't get layed off, he is still there in fact. The other thing I learned through all of this and many other things in life is that worry wastes time and energy. I understand and know it isn't easy but, you will get thru this okay. Good luck and I'll be praying for you both.

[doortego]

I'm glad you were able to tell your fears. That is the first step. Then you begin to realize that what you have and what you need are miles apart. Sometimes, you become a better person when you are able to recognize what is and what isn't important. I'm quite a bit older than you, actually I have children your age, and have found that all those things I spent my life acquiring, own me now. I wish I would have been a little less materialistic earlier in life. Just ask yourself do we really need this? Also I think it is important to realize that sometimes we are buying things not so much because we really want them but to entertain us, to fill a hole in our lives. When you let those things go, you have to examine yourself & your relationships with your family and friends, but mostly with God. You cannot truly give yourself to Him until you are willing to let all those material things go. Good luck to you and your little family. Please let us know how you are doing. We care.

[Lora9584]

I feel for you cause I have been there. Almost three years ago my hubby had major heart problems and have never been able to work again. We went from being pretty comfortable and buying what we wanted to having only my income. And it took 2 years to get his disability. We ended up having to move and do without a whole lot of stuff that we had always took for granted. Bless my kids hearts they never complained a bit. But this family is a lot stronger for it now and we take nothing for granted. So now I have a different job that pays a lot better and we now own a house and things are better as far as that goes. Hubbys health is another thing and we just cherish every day that we have.

[red98vett]

Originally Posted by Lora9584

I feel for you cause I have been there. Almost three years ago my hubby had major heart problems and have never been able to work again. We went from being pretty comfortable and buying what we wanted to having only my income. And it took 2 years to get his disability. We ended up having to move and do without a whole lot of stuff that we had always took for granted. Bless my kids hearts they never complained a bit. But this family is a lot stronger for it now and we take nothing for granted. So now I have a different job that pays a lot better and we now own a house and things are better as far as that goes. Hubbys health is another thing and we just cherish every day that we have.

I SO hear you ...and am sorry about your husband !!! Mine is very sick and now cannot work either - we went from having $$ to worrying about every little thing....had to move - sold the corvette - jewelry etc for medical bills - and now have NO savings. I lost my job 5 years ago and just dread working full time again but will have to.


veguroev - be happy you DO own your home and your husband is healthy - I know what the opposite feels like - and to tell you the truth ...the security of owning a home is a huge bonus. We rent now and it totally sucks...when he passes - I'm totally on my own with nothing.

hopefully things will work out for your husband but we have to take things as they come....we can't control our future

[yorkieangel]

Please just count your blessings
The words RETIRMENT and Savings Account are NOT even in the picture in this house
Even the word GROCERIES seems like a shakey one lately around here

[red98vett]

What's a savings account ? Can someone tell me how that works ?

[jencar98]

Originally Posted by red98vett

What's a savings account ? Can someone tell me how that works ?

LOL Villette. I know what you mean. When the "experts" start talking about putting back so much money for retirement, I'm like - what about staying alive today? I'm gonna have to live long enough to get there first. If I have to worrry about money all the time, I'm gonna have a heart attack and never live to see retirement!

[luvdorkyyorkies]

Im so sorry to hear about your worries. Money worries can be one of the worse.
It is a much more comfortable adjustment to go from not having money to having it, but to have it and lose it.............well thats one to kick ya right in the butt! That adjustment is not so easy.
Try to remember this, which isnt easy when your full of worry and frightened of what way your life will turn.
In life when one door closes another one opens. In the midst of a crisis things can seem pretty hopeless. But the truth is your lives could be redirected into something even better.
Maybe your husband will make more money or maybe alot less. Sometimes life doesnt give us what we think we want, but what we truly need. Always lessons to learn. ALthough they are not fun lessons, a lesson anyway teaching us to cherish what we have had, what we do have and putting things back into perspective. After the end of the crisis, you might find yourself happier then before, maybe if it means less money.
Years ago I worked for a very rich family as a private nurse, for an elderly grandmother. I worked for them for a long time and got to know the family well. They had all money could buy, but they were very unhappy people. THey had absolutely no money worries, but it seemed life with so much money had become to easy for them. They found no joy in the small things. Their worries seemed trivial to me, such as whether the maid cleaned the kitchen to perfection. Everything was about appearances, material goods, and what was being done for them by the money they used to buy the services. It was old money too, in the family for generations, so these small things they worried about had became true worries and concerns in their everyday life. All people have worries but sometimes just a different kind.
Where most people worried about paying bills, or can they buy groceries, or afford school clothes for their children, they worried about if the maid was sick or the cook couldnt come for the day. They may have to cook for themselves!!!! Would you beleive on the rare occasions this happened, I the nurse cooked for the family..........lol!
After a few years the grandmother passed away. From this experience I learned alot. ALot of money doesnt make for happiness, I thought it would. It was a curse for these people. They had lost their whole perspective on the bigger picture of life. They didnt have to do anything to grow as people, they didnt have to strive to new accomplishments. In their case I feel they would have been better off without all that money. Im sure if they didnt have it they thought they would surely die.
I have seen people with very little who seem to have a joy about life. They seem to know the important things such as family and health, giving, kindness and when they can afford something out of the originary for them, it is so appreciated.
Struggle in life can make you a better person. This coud just be a stepping stone for your family!
I worry too, and have wishes for more, or ask myself why? But when this happens thinking of different situations in my life where I thought the end was coming but it turned into something better helps.
Good luck to your family.