just found out some bad news

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles

I have tried to tell my husband that we would get help. he is afraid if we take them away from there grandparents (even though they really cant care for them) it will start a family feud, but I tell him we have to have whats best for the kids.
we have a 3 bedroom house and we have 3 kids of are own, so 2 more would make a pretty big family and where are they suppose to sleep? It's all so confusing and I just dont know what to do.
But your right, CPS really needs to be called, but how can I do that to my husband?

I don't mean to offend anyone here, but do you think maybe his parents are getting to where they can't keep up with the kids anymore? I know there are lots of older parents out there. But I know my parents wouldn't do that great watching over my kid because he has way too much energy and my parents have high blood pressure and stress out so easily.
I'm kind of worried about the pool situation. With the kids there someone should have been put in charge of watching over the pool. There should have at least been someone keeping an eye on that 5 year old in the pool. For instance my son always has his life jacket on around the pool and I watch him like a hawk. Thank god your nephew is going to be okay. But how much guilt would everyone feel if something did happen? Just something to think about. I am sure that you guys could try to work something out. Maybe put all of the boys in one room and all of the girls in another? Or make an extra bedroom out of a den or family room? Even possibly move into a different house.
I'm trying to put myself in your situation... I have 3 nephews and a son with one on the way. My sister told me that she wrote in her will that I will take them if something does happen to her and I did the same for her. That would be 4 boys and 1 girl. We just know that our parents would probably not be able to handle the kids. So if I had to raise our 5 kids I know that it wouldn't be comfortable, we might even have to move into a different house if it gets to be too much. But it's just something that I would have to do and have to work out. My grandparents raised 10 kids in a 3 bedroom house and my grandmother died when the some of the kids were very young. The older ones helped out a lot and took care of the younger ones. If there is a will there's a way.
I know what your husband means by not wanting to cause family problems. I think NOW is the best time to try to get him to talk to his family. I mean his nephew almost died. That is a big deal. It's not a THEORY anymore about the grandparents not being able to keep up with the kids, it's reality. We don't want this to happen again. I think that if the grandparents love the kids they would want to do whats best. If CPS does get called I'm sure you'd rather take the kids than have them be given to the state. At least this way the grandparents and the family can still visit all of the time.
My heart really goes out to you and esspecially those kids. It just sounds like something needs to be done. You and your husband sound like the more stable people in their lives. Those kids need stability. I really hope that you guys talk and then talk to his parents. I know they love their grandkids like my parents do, but we all just have to think about what's best for the kids. I know that if you pray for an answer it will eventually come. Good luck.

Are there any updates on your nephew? Is he out of the hospital yet? Does it sound like there are any lasting effects?

[Zoey's Momma]

I'm so sorry! I'll surely keep him in my prayers tonight.

[Dragonfly]

My daughter has 2 step children they go from one person to the other when they don't want them anymore or have to work they call me. Yes I'm a gramdma at 38 these children love to come to my house, we have a pool my hubby is there with them or I am they are never in without someone there. I have tryed to get the parnets to sign them over to me but they will not. I'm so sorry to hear what happen and glad that someone new CPR. I will pray that god will show you the right thing to do, most of all your hubby. I would take them in a heartbeat. Good luck and God bless you for caring about these children. You know what the sad part is all they want is someone to love them not saying the grandparnets does not ,and to show them how to be small children.I wish I could help you.

[yougetthesmiles]

you are not offending me, and I agree with you, his parents definitely should not have these kids, thats a whole different topic, but the bottom line is something has to be done.

It was a lake or a pond, not a pool, we are getting ready to go see him, my husband works 3rd shift so he is sleeping right now, but I'm getting ready to get him up so we can go see him, as soon as I find out more details I will let you all know.

I really appreciate all the prayers and concerns. I dont know what I would do without YT!

[yougetthesmiles]

I just called the hospital to find out if he was still there or not and he has been released, so I called my mother in law and she told me he is doing fine.

what she told me is, everyone was in the pool (I thought it was a lake) and Logan (5) went out to the deep end and panicked and took in water, he was unconscious for about 3 minutes and someone did CPR and got him breathing again.
He was just lucky is all I can say, and why they let him out in the deep end without a life jacket is beyond me. I hope this is a eye opener for this family, it's sad that it takes a little boy almost drowning to see the light.

I hope my husband realizes something has to be done. I just cant be the one who calls CPS, If I did and my husband found out it would just put a huge strain on are marriage, as bad as I know something needs to be done it cant be me who does it, he has to be the one to see whats best for the kids.

There are others in this family who are not dumb and see this bad situation so I sure hope someone does something.

[Shadow]

Glad he is doing ok. You don't have to give CPS your name. I would call if it was me, I wouldn't want to feel the guilt if something happened. Please think about it, if you think these children are not being taken care of.

[Rae Rae]

Glad he's doing OK.

As for him going to the deep end, did he maybe sneak away? Or does he know how to swim and something just went wrong? Accidents do happen, and if this is the first time something like this has happened, I wouldn't call CPS.

[chattiesmom]

I am so sorry you have this heartache to deal with every day. I hope that the situation changes and the babies will be taken care of. Good Luck!
Sending hugs!

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by Rae Rae

Glad he's doing OK.

As for him going to the deep end, did he maybe sneak away? Or does he know how to swim and something just went wrong? Accidents do happen, and if this is the first time something like this has happened, I wouldn't call CPS.

No, he dosent know how to swim, thats the problem, these poor kids have lead a very sheltered life, the 8 yr old has pretty much raised the 5 yr old. They have been with there grandparents for about a yr now and 2 years ago we had them for the whole summer, there mom pulled a suicide stunt and called us from OK City (we live in Indiana) and told us she was killing herself and wanted us to take the kids, so we pack up and drove 16 hours to get the kids and she was admitted into a hospital, she then was released and took the kids back after the summer and a yr later asked her parents to take them. These kids have been passed around like rag dolls and all they really have is each other.
I would like to take them but these kids know NO disipline, they are very out of control and I have 3 kids who are the very oppisent, and I'm afraid to take them, plus what if one of them hurt Lillie????
My husband dont want to call CPS cause he is afraid they will get split up.
my husbands brother has offered to take them and the grandparents says no!

[Rae Rae]

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles

No, he dosent know how to swim, thats the problem, these poor kids have lead a very sheltered life, the 8 yr old has pretty much raised the 5 yr old. They have been with there grandparents for about a yr now and 2 years ago we had them for the whole summer, there mom pulled a suicide stunt and called us from OK City (we live in Indiana) and told us she was killing herself and wanted us to take the kids, so we pack up and drove 16 hours to get the kids and she was admitted into a hospital, she then was released and took the kids back after the summer and a yr later asked her parents to take them. These kids have been passed around like rag dolls and all they really have is each other.
I would like to take them but these kids know NO disipline, they are very out of control and I have 3 kids who are the very oppisent, and I'm afraid to take them, plus what if one of them hurt Lillie????
My husband dont want to call CPS cause he is afraid they will get split up.
my husbands brother has offered to take them and the grandparents says no!

Your hubby's right..they'll probably get split up. If you feel you can offer them a good home, a better life than what they have then you should definitly take them. Are the grandparents bad at raising them? How come they can't stay w/ them?

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by Rae Rae

Your hubby's right..they'll probably get split up. If you feel you can offer them a good home, a better life than what they have then you should definitly take them. Are the grandparents bad at raising them? How come they can't stay w/ them?

There not very clean people, his mom is always sick and going to the doctor, I would call her a hypocondreact (sp)

His dad does work, but the situation is just not healthy for them. In all honesty I dont think I have the patients anymore, my temper is just to short, and right now I'm dealing with my own emotions.

I just hope they will turn them over to my husbands brother, he has offered to raise them.

[Rae Rae]

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles

There not very clean people, his mom is always sick and going to the doctor, I would call her a hypocondreact (sp)

His dad does work, but the situation is just not healthy for them. In all honesty I dont think I have the patients anymore, my temper is just to short, and right now I'm dealing with my own emotions.

I just hope they will turn them over to my husbands brother, he has offered to raise them.

That's a really tuff situation. If they won't turn them over for the brother to raise, maybe they can spend the weekends there and stuff, just to atleast have some "better" raising. The kids might stay w/ the grandparents, but if it's convienent for your hubby, you, and his brother to go to the grandparents often, I would say just go and kind of help out. It's probably the least that could be done for now.

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by Rae Rae

That's a really tuff situation. If they won't turn them over for the brother to raise, maybe they can spend the weekends there and stuff, just to atleast have some "better" raising. The kids might stay w/ the grandparents, but if it's convienent for your hubby, you, and his brother to go to the grandparents often, I would say just go and kind of help out. It's probably the least that could be done for now.

Ohhh they go to his brothers house almost every weekend, and we get them when we can, they live in a different town from us so we cant get them all the time, but we go pick them up when we can. It gives the grandparents a break and gets the kids out of that house.

[Rae Rae]

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles

Ohhh they go to his brothers house almost every weekend, and we get them when we can, they live in a different town from us so we cant get them all the time, but we go pick them up when we can. It gives the grandparents a break and gets the kids out of that house.

When the kids are w/ you guys, or the brothers, I guess discipline them and "raise them right". If their around you guys enough (and it sounds like they are) then you guys definitly have a hand in raising them. Hope all goes well!!

[cheryl000]

I hope someone helps these kids out, bless you for doing what you can. And I'm sorry if I sound judgemental but I recommend if a child is that young and doesn't know how to swim he/she should be wearing some kind of floaties or a floation device and have someone watching at all times. When my son is in the shallow end of the pool, he still wears his jacket because he's only 4 and someone is always right there with him. Even in a crowded pool something could go wrong. Yes, mistakes DO happen, but some can be prevented.
Thank god that little boy is okay. I feel so sorry for them to have experienced so much of the bad things in life at such a young age, esspecially with their mom. Did his mom hear about what happened? Maybe after this she will want the kids to live with their uncle too. I hope things work out with your family.