We received some sad and tragic news today...

[AmyZinNC]

Thanks everyone> We still dont' know much.

Tonight a few of us are going to the wake...the funeral is tomorrow but I have JOnathan home so I won't go..but I need to pay my respects this evening..

We wound up telling hte boys as some kids at both schools already know and I didn't want to them to hear it from another child.
They didn't really pay a ton of attention when we told them. We said she had been sick (which she was) and that she has died, etc....and if they have any questions they can ask us. My older son ( 6 1./2) said he was most sad for her daughter who doesn't have her mommy now (BROKE MY HEART!)
my newly 5 year old didn't really get it I dont think.
So I'll jsut take their questions, if there are any, as they come.

[Jaspermom]

Originally Posted by AmyZinNC

Thanks everyone> We still dont' know much.

Tonight a few of us are going to the wake...the funeral is tomorrow but I have JOnathan home so I won't go..but I need to pay my respects this evening..

We wound up telling hte boys as some kids at both schools already know and I didn't want to them to hear it from another child.
They didn't really pay a ton of attention when we told them. We said she had been sick (which she was) and that she has died, etc....and if they have any questions they can ask us. My older son ( 6 1./2) said he was most sad for her daughter who doesn't have her mommy now (BROKE MY HEART!)
my newly 5 year old didn't really get it I dont think.
So I'll jsut take their questions, if there are any, as they come.

I am happy you told them. You are a great Mom, honey!

[bchgirl]

How sad for everyone. I think you did the right thing by telling them, as difficult as an explaination might have been. It's hard enough to understand when you are an adult.......

[AmyZinNC]

Thanks guys. Last night was very hard. The family decided to leave her casket open. You could almost tell where it was done Her face was SOO swollen, did not look like her at all. Im surprised the family wanted her remembered that way.

Her 6 yr old daughter was there, but she doesn't understand much yet. She was told mommy was sick and got worse while she (daughter) had been away for the weekend) She kept going up to the casket and would look a minute...then walk away.

It may hit her after the burial today when mommy isn't physically "there"?

Devasting

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by AmyZinNC

Thanks guys. Last night was very hard. The family decided to leave her casket open. You could almost tell where it was done Her face was SOO swollen, did not look like her at all. Im surprised the family wanted her remembered that way.

Her 6 yr old daughter was there, but she doesn't understand much yet. She was told mommy was sick and got worse while she (daughter) had been away for the weekend) She kept going up to the casket and would look a minute...then walk away.

It may hit her after the burial today when mommy isn't physically "there"?

Devasting

How sad. I don't think I would've given her daughter that explaination...that she got worse AFTER she was gone. I'd think it would make the child afraid to ever go anywhere if people disappear while you're gone. At 6 years old, it'll take a lot more time for her to realize that her mother is not coming back. They just don't grasp the concept that death means forever. My mil died a few years ago, she was ill. Her grandson whose 5...still occasionaly asks...when mee-mee gets better, she's coming back, right?

How awful this woman's pain was so intense that she thought being dead were preferrable than being with her daughter. Or that her daughter would be better off.....



PS A friend from HS commited suicide with a gun. His parents had an open casket. Yes, you could tell he'd been "fixed". I don't know why his parents did that...perhaps so people wouldn't say..."oh, he must've looked bad, they kept the casket closed." My mother (who didn't commit suicide) had told us she did not want her casket open. She preferred for people to remember her as she was...not a bad idea.