Now I have marriage questions!

[chachi]

It didnt really feel any different than living together except our commitment to each other deepened. We lived together 10 yrs prior to marriage

[LunasMomma]

My hubby and I also lived together before marriage. Our daughter was 2 years old by the time we got around to it My ex was holding up the divorce to mess with me, he knew that I wanted to remarry We had a small intimate beach wedding, as it was the second for us both. I think we had 5 people there, and we did it at dawn, there were even dolphins jumping out in the water. Honeymooned in Orlando for 4 days, that was it, then back to work and life

Anyway, nothing changed here. The only thing about being married that's different is something that I hope you'll never ever experience. It's much more difficult to disentangle your lives if you ever want to. That's about it!

Congratulations, Mrs.!!!!!!

[celstu1]

Its funny but I still feel like we are waiting on something before it's official... even though it's totally official. The wedding license is back and in our hands, we are on record with the state of NH, everything is done. I am in process of changing my name, sent all the paperwork to the Social security office. Its just funny to me how NOTHING has changed. NOTHING at all! His parents call me Mrs. just for fun, but other than that, nothing changed at all. LOL I guess thats probably a good thing, but it just seems weird to me to call him my husband when 3 weeks ago he was my fiance and I feel the same as I did then! haha I still don't sign anything with his last name because I have no supporting documents until I get a new license. Maybe then it will feel more real. Maybe I'm just living in newlywed bliss right now still! LOL

[yorkietalkjilly]

While my husband and I didn't live together and were each only 20 when we married, I felt still very much like myself-plus when I woke up married. I just felt as if I had added something I couldn't - and still can't define - to my person. Life seemed far more special and meaningful all of a sudden. I felt suddenly as if I had a "back-up" in life - a good feeling. Overnight, "I" became a "we" and loved that change. The world was immediately a far friendlier place as a member of a team. I felt very different.

[Harrysmum]

Originally Posted by celstu1

Its funny but I still feel like we are waiting on something before it's official... even though it's totally official. The wedding license is back and in our hands, we are on record with the state of NH, everything is done. I am in process of changing my name, sent all the paperwork to the Social security office. Its just funny to me how NOTHING has changed. NOTHING at all! His parents call me Mrs. just for fun, but other than that, nothing changed at all. LOL I guess thats probably a good thing, but it just seems weird to me to call him my husband when 3 weeks ago he was my fiance and I feel the same as I did then! haha I still don't sign anything with his last name because I have no supporting documents until I get a new license. Maybe then it will feel more real. Maybe I'm just living in newlywed bliss right now still! LOL

Oh...and you couldn't have called him 'DH' before.... x

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by Harrysmum

Oh...and you couldn't have called him 'DH' before.... x

I thought of that!!!!!! LOL

Yorkietalkjilly - That is a very sweet thought! I wonder if it's because we have been hit with so much huge stuff since the wedding that the 'we' team feeling is just not there yet. I can't wait to feel that way though. **SIGH** I hope things get easier and funner for us this summer!

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by celstu1

I thought of that!!!!!! LOL

Yorkietalkjilly - That is a very sweet thought! I wonder if it's because we have been hit with so much huge stuff since the wedding that the 'we' team feeling is just not there yet. I can't wait to feel that way though. **SIGH** I hope things get easier and funner for us this summer!

Probably plus maybe age does, too. At just 20, sometimes you are facing the big world for the first time all on your own and your partner being there suddenly makes you feel much less vulnerable or something.

[GeorgiesMomma]

My husband and I met when he was 27 and I was 22 at a night club LOL My Dad said you can't meet a quality man there and the day he walked me down the aisle to give me away he said I am so glad you picked a good one We lived together for 3 years before we got married. After 13 years he is still my best friend and the best husband and friend I could've dreamed of It's always been so important to keep the moments good and bad into perspective. I have always felt like the rough times weren't so rough because we experienced them together. I don't think anything has changed at all I really don't think it should if you are that close and you know it's right

[GeorgiesMomma]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

While my husband and I didn't live together and were each only 20 when we married, I felt still very much like myself-plus when I woke up married. I just felt as if I had added something I couldn't - and still can't define - to my person. Life seemed far more special and meaningful all of a sudden. I felt suddenly as if I had a "back-up" in life - a good feeling. Overnight, "I" became a "we" and loved that change. The world was immediately a far friendlier place as a member of a team. I felt very different.

That is literally exactly how I feel being married to my husband. What a great post

[My lil friend]

Think back when you turned 16,you didnt feel any different. But then the privilage of driving came along and suddenly you were 18,then 21. None of it feels different suddenly,you just look back and see the changes.
Last Wed was our 32 anniv. All we could do was look at each other and say WOW! We have been together sense highschool,dated a while,were engaged 3yrs,moved in together for a few months and THEN we had a wedding,,,to make it legal. During that time we both graduated from college,he became a CPA,we had and mostly raised our 6 children (still have a couple at home). None of this happened suddenly. Our relationship has changed and grown like a big redwood tree. Above all we are still best friends.
Congratulations on your marriage,may you find continual joy as the years go by.

[Roxiesmama]

Is this what I have to look forward to in 3 days???

I was kind of hoping to feel different after the wedding Saturday, but I guess I won't. DF and I have been together for 5 years, and have lived together (officially) since August. (Though one could argue that he'd been flushing rent money down the drain for a few years prior to that, since he was here every day and night anyway.)

The thought of having to change my name on my driver's license, bank accounts, credit cards, and web sites is a bit daunting. Do you do the driver's license first, and then do everything else?

[GeorgiesMomma]

Originally Posted by Roxiesmama

Is this what I have to look forward to in 3 days???

I was kind of hoping to feel different after the wedding Saturday, but I guess I won't. DF and I have been together for 5 years, and have lived together (officially) since August. (Though one could argue that he'd been flushing rent money down the drain for a few years prior to that, since he was here every day and night anyway.)

The thought of having to change my name on my driver's license, bank accounts, credit cards, and web sites is a bit daunting. Do you do the driver's license first, and then do everything else?

I have been married for 6 years and haven't changed a thing. My husband and I were joking yesterday I said I wanted to make sure it was going to work LOL. Honestly though I have just been a slacker and haven't done it.

I should've said I do feel different in a sense that I love him more and more everyday which I didn't think was possible since I loved him so much from the start

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by Roxiesmama

Is this what I have to look forward to in 3 days???

I was kind of hoping to feel different after the wedding Saturday, but I guess I won't. DF and I have been together for 5 years, and have lived together (officially) since August. (Though one could argue that he'd been flushing rent money down the drain for a few years prior to that, since he was here every day and night anyway.)

The thought of having to change my name on my driver's license, bank accounts, credit cards, and web sites is a bit daunting. Do you do the driver's license first, and then do everything else?

No, you have to change your name with the Social Security office first. I sent my marriage license there with the form filled out that you should have gotten when you went for your marriage license. A couple days later I got mail back in my new name saying that my new SS card would be arriving in 2 weeks. Then I can do my license. Once I get my license I think that's all I need to start changing everything else. From bank accounts, to mortgages, etc...

The challenges we have faced in the 3 short weeks we've been married have been incredible. We are constantly bickering now. We owned a shop that went out of business. His brother ran it and now we are arguing over the assets we need to sell to make some of what we lost. His brother is reopening somewhere else by himself and wants to buy the stuff from us, only I don't want to have him make payments because that got us nothing (not 1 payment) from the shop we did try with them, so I don't want to repeat the same mistakes, yet my husband does not know how to say no. My brother showed up on our door step last weekend, he lives with my grandfather and they got into an argument and my grandfather called the cops on him to get him out of the house, so he shows up with his 2 babies and nothing with him for them bc he had to just grab them and run out the door. My husband and I argued about that bc I felt my grandfather was wrong to kick out my brother when he had his 2 small children that night, my husband felt that my brother was wrong for not leaving when the argument started.
Now I have a cold.

Marriage does not seem to be agreeing with us!

Last night we went out for japanese food and at the end in my fortune cookie, my fortune said I have a deep desire for a home and nothing is more important to me than family. I told him that HE is my family over anyone else and he is the most important person in my life. Hopefully that defused some of the tension between us.

[GeorgiesMomma]

I am sorry that stinks you are going through so much in such a short time. I think the biggest thing is putting each other first. We have always done that until we had our son and now he is first and we love it Everything will work out it's a lot to handle right now but just take a deep breath and remember why you all married each other in the first place....LOVE

[My lil friend]

Chelstu1: In a marriage it is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about what you can agree on. There will be MANY things that you do not agree on and you will just have to agree to disagree.
If you do not want his brother making payments to you,tell him why and leave it at that. If his brother doesnt ever give you a dime,the one thing that your husband will learn is to listen to the councel of his wife.
It does not matter who is right and wrong between your brother and grandfather,that is not your concern because you can not fix it. Giving a roof to your brother and his kids is a loving and kind thing,but remember that your marriage and the relationship with your husband is first. Do not allow others to come between you and your husband.
In 32yrs there have been so many things that we have not agreed on,but the one thing that we are both committed to is that our marriage,our relationship comes first. That is before my mother in law,before our children,before the bills and money concerns.
I hope for you a relationship and marriage that only become stronger everyday and that you will get to look back in 30 + years and say " Look at all of the hurdles that we have jumped over and our love and friendship is stronger today than when we started". Blessings