what to do about Niece

[lynzy420]

Because of my experience, I can offer you helpful information that if you were to call cps they would not be able to tell it was you and infact would think it was definitely not you. I will pm you later when I am home with the information. (which by the way is 100% legal and not at all wrong).

[Maximo]

Originally Posted by chachi

I know I just wish there was some way to convince the parents to get on board. Im afraid its going to take something really bad before they do get on board. It is just really hard for me because 20 years ago My 7 yr old Son passed because he had a genetic heart problem. So I really know the importance they should be putting on this

I am very sorry for your loss of your son, and I can imagine how frustrating it must be to see your niece in this situation. A entire lifestyle change would be required and her parents would have to be on board. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions to offer. I would think her pediatrician would impress upon her parents the urgency of the situation and suggest means of help.

[yorkieusa]

Originally Posted by chachi

I know I just wish there was some way to convince the parents to get on board. Im afraid its going to take something really bad before they do get on board. It is just really hard for me because 20 years ago My 7 yr old Son passed because he had a genetic heart problem. So I really know the importance they should be putting on this

I'm so very sorry you lost your son.

I was wondering if there are any children's books to help obese children read and understand why they need to make wise choices in their diet and also help to motivate them?

[deonk1]

I wish you the best of luck while working to help your niece. This is a very difficult situation, one side of my family leads very unhealthy lives. They really don't understand why I eat healthy and run/yoga almost daily. I know that if I didn't make a healthy choice about my life I would be just like them.

It seems like Samantha may need to start making choices like this on her own if she isn't getting the support systems she needs from her parents.

I think there has been some good advice, but I wanted to add, what about getting her involved in an activity or sport that she may enjoy? With individuals who don't like team sports or often get picked on I suggest individual sports, like horse riding, or perhaps dog training/agility. These independent type sports don't put as much pressure on kids to "fit in" and by doing these things to exercise, she may begin to shift towards a more active lifestyle. I taught horse back riding lessons for years, and saw many children commit to riding and see a positive shift in their lifestyles because of it.

[Sandysbabies]

I don't know where she lives or how close she lives to you, but, if all else fails, maybe she could come and spend the summer with you and your husband. That way he would have a chance of working with her some and maybe once she begins to lose some it will encourage her to keep on. Good luck. Bless her little heart, I know how hard it must be.

[southernbelle04]

Bless her heart! I have struggled with my weight all my life. Nothing like this situation, but I do know how hard it is. I do not have any advice. I am not a parent and do not know what I would do in this situation, but I did want to wish you luck. I hope you can help her. As she gets older, the bullying/picking on will only get worse. Kids/teenagers can be so cruel and it is so unfair to the one being picked on.

[Connie]

I'm so sorry you have this worry and can tell you are fearful for her life. It seems that someone needs to get involved and oversee what this girl is being fed. Poor kid must just eat all the time and using food as a crutch. I can't imagine the parents not wanting to follow doctor's suggestions, but in order for their daughter to lose weight, they all need to start eating healthy. Gosh...I hope and pray that this girl can get help. Hugs to you!

[Cooper2010]

I know this isn't a solution to the problem but do you think if she had a Wii with the Wii Fit disc and a balance board it might motivate her to become more active? I have one and I've just started using it again after a lonnnnnng time. The game is cute! She can do step aerobics, hula hoop, balance games, etc. It might be an incentive to help her become more active. It also has a body measure feature that can track your weight gain/loss. Nothing is discouraging about it, in fact the Mii's (instructors) are very encouraging.

If she already has a game system I think the balance board is around $80.

I hope her parents realize that they control the situation. What they buy at the store is setting the example of what's eaten. Best of luck to Samantha.

[chachi]

Originally Posted by Cooper2010

I know this isn't a solution to the problem but do you think if she had a Wii with the Wii Fit disc and a balance board it might motivate her to become more active? I have one and I've just started using it again after a lonnnnnng time. The game is cute! She can do step aerobics, hula hoop, balance games, etc. It might be an incentive to help her become more active. It also has a body measure feature that can track your weight gain/loss. Nothing is discouraging about it, in fact the Mii's (instructors) are very encouraging.

If she already has a game system I think the balance board is around $80.

I hope her parents realize that they control the situation. What they buy at the store is setting the example of what's eaten. Best of luck to Samantha.

My Husband tried to talk them into getting the wii and the wii fit for her when they were buying a game system. They wouldnt they bought her a playstation. We know the reason why and it is because we have that system we bought it for our daughter yrs ago and they dont want to do the same thing we do. They have to buy a different system than us. They even told a neighbor that so thats why we know. Anyway thats how small and petty they are. But yes I agree with you it would have been good for her to have a Wii

[Cooper2010]

That's just sad, and wrong. My son has a PS3 and the only activity games I can think of are the dancing ones. The rest are sit on the tush and push buttons. I, at 42, actually enjoy the Wii Fit. I tried a Zumba disc this morning and it kicked my backside in a short amount of time (THANK GOODNESS no one else was around to see that! Sheesh!!)

Years ago at the school I worked at there was a very large girl who one of the coaches was trying to work with. Her mother got extremely upset. She said, "I'm fat, she's fat and we're always going to be that way and I don't want you trying to change it!" Unbelievable.

They are putting her in grave danger. Maybe you should turn them in and consequences be darned. Parents should want the best for their kids, not be enablers for the worst.

[dawn27]

Originally Posted by lynzy420

Oh Chachi I know how hard this is, especially when you care about the child. I am going to offer advice to you based on my experience in my job. I have seen these cases and people like you come here and beg for help for their niece, nephew, grandchild...because they feel so helpless, what I have found and what I believe and what i counsel them to do is call SOCIAL SERVICES HOTLINE (often because of my work I am mandated to do this as well). There is nothing to fear by calling them, usually its a blessing in disguise. The cases you hear on the news of bad experiences are far fewer than the good they do everyday.

You can call anonymously, explain the situation to them. It is a difficult decision but I believe warranted. They are not going to go drag that child from her home, they are going to go make the parents etc., accountable and compel them to do what is best for their child.

I truly am sorry that your probably not liking my advice but ChaChi for the good of this child and her LIFE, please do the right thing, you have tried everything else.

Your a wonderful caring Aunt, please continue to support her, often the children in these situations need people like you, she hears you....God Bless and good luck..

Originally Posted by LunasMomma

That is a tough situation. It amounts to child abuse. Her health is in imminent danger. Diabetes and heart disease, not to mention cancers, are certainly in her future if nothing is done Is trying to keep the family intact more important than this helpless child's life?

I am so sorry for your loss of your son. This cant be easy on you but you are being a good aunt to her. I would have to agree with Luna and lynzy.....

She doesn't know the consequences of her over eating. It is a parents responsibility to do right by their own child. Her parents are putting her life in jeopardy by not following doctors recommendations. That is a form of child abuse. They must be held accountable. You already know that they are not looking out for her health and well being just by her weight alone. If her parent are not going to do what needs to be done for the sake of this child someone needs to be her hero. Someone body need to make a stand for this child who is clearly not in a healthy situation.