Marital S_E_X - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

shodanusmc · 04-23-2010, 10:52 AM

I forget things more often now. What was the topic, and what is sex?

ladyjane · 04-23-2010, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shodanusmc

I forget things more often now. What was the topic, and what is sex?

Are you the OP's husband?

ladyjane · 04-23-2010, 01:49 PM

All joking aside....sorry I could not resist that one.

I would suggest that you speak with your family physician. He/she can help you figure out a cause and suggest solutions. OR...if your physician has a Nurse Practitioner I would strongly suggest you make an appt with him/her. They are very thorough and can help you!

LuvMyPuppE · 04-23-2010, 02:08 PM

the only time i ever want to have sex is if i've had a few drinks! sad, but true!

i blame it on having 2 small kids and my husband is basically a 3rd kid - always having to clean up after them all day long. when they finally go to bed, i just want to be left ALONE!

i don't really mind having sex, but i don't initiate it cus i just have no desire. i was honest with my husband and told him just what i said here. i think he was relieved actually cus now when he wants to have sex he just tells me and we can cut right to the chase. he's exhausted by the end of the day anyway so knowing i don't care for a marathon is fine with him!

Cheller_ · 04-23-2010, 02:17 PM

Woah?! it's alittle hot in here. lol jk Have you given a thought about fantasys or roleplay? Sometimes we need to go back to the basics or take a look at it from a different angle. Maybe you don't have to go and take a trip to Turks & Caicos but try a hotel that specializes in creating intimate settings.

Oh yea... RELAAXXX

shodanusmc · 04-23-2010, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvMyPuppE

the only time i ever want to have sex is if i've had a few drinks! sad, but true!

i blame it on having 2 small kids and my husband is basically a 3rd kid - always having to clean up after them all day long. when they finally go to bed, i just want to be left ALONE!

i don't really mind having sex, but i don't initiate it cus i just have no desire. i was honest with my husband and told him just what i said here. i think he was relieved actually cus now when he wants to have sex he just tells me and we can cut right to the chase. he's exhausted by the end of the day anyway so knowing i don't care for a marathon is fine with him!

Ah, the old "slam, bam, thank you ma'am".

shodanusmc · 04-23-2010, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyjane

Are you the OP's husband?

No, but I am the best I ever had!

manolos mom · 04-23-2010, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shodanusmc

No, but I am the best I ever had!

Only a Marine

DerbyLayne · 04-23-2010, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cerise

This is a very good thread and serious. I want to add that you may want to get your Thyroid checked. Even if they have checked it already in the past. Thyroid issues cause a lot of the symptoms that you are describing, along with Type II Diabetes resulting with hormone issues.

Best of luck to you!

I am pre-diabetic. I get my thyroid checked often and my levels are fine. I am; however, battling the diabeeetuusss.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justin

you have no idea how hot it is when a girl takes you to a strip club...one girl I dated insisted we go one time. I bought her a dance...which turned into "hey lets both give him a dance..." Fun times

I like going to strip clubs! but I have gotten kicked out for being too touchy with my man. I am kind of picky though, and want to see a girl who can really dance. Seriously, if I know I can dance better? Get off... Next girl!!

And i am working out. I am also starting personal training sessions next week.

I weigh between 130-135 and I am 5 feet tall. I would love to see my 115 body back! I am pretty self concious about this extra weight thanks to those meds I've been on. At least I've lost 15 pounds and kept it off, but the last 15 is a huge biotch.

DerbyLayne · 04-23-2010, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by viviansnickers

Hey girl...

We are in the same boat!!!!! I am 30 (31 in Feb) and am dealing with the same exact issues. I will tell you. I was on Yaz for 2 years now (since I got married) and I had NO DESIRE to have sex at all. NONE! I have been off the pill for about a month now and about 2 weeks ago my babe and I went on vaca to Turks and Caicos islands and my drive was back!! (HUBBA HUBBA

) My birth control seems to be controling my life. I feel so chemical-free now and am thankful. I was also experiencing major DRYNESS down there and now that's gone too!!!!!!!!! I just had my 1st period after getting off the pill and it is SO HEAVY!! I think the pill DRIES you out!!! Sorry if this is TMI, but this hits home for me!!!

HUGS-
VIVIAN

Ok but how do you avoid the babytrain?

I cannot risk getting preggo! (yet

)but you know, the time I did go off it for like a month (and my ladyfriend never came?) I do recall having more sex than I am now, which is like none.

Maybe you're onto something!!

it's just I get such bad migraines, and cramps, that I've been on the pill to help a girly out. I don't have a ladyfriend every month either. It's too much trouble. I double or tripple up on packs.

Krystee · 04-23-2010, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DerbyLayne

I am pre-diabetic. I get my thyroid checked often and my levels are fine. I am; however, battling the diabeeetuusss.

I like going to strip clubs! but I have gotten kicked out for being too touchy with my man. I am kind of picky though, and want to see a girl who can really dance. Seriously, if I know I can dance better? Get off... Next girl!!

And i am working out. I am also starting personal training sessions next week.

I weigh between 130-135 and I am 5 feet tall. I would love to see my 115 body back! I am pretty self concious about this extra weight thanks to those meds I've been on. At least I've lost 15 pounds and kept it off, but the last 15 is a huge biotch.

I gotta ask... did you say "diabeeetuusss" because of the diabetes commercials with the old man?

Mary4 · 04-23-2010, 03:46 PM

Sorry, I'm not on board for the strip club at all.

This has never happened to me. Ever. But I have a friend who had the same problem her whole married life. She thought she had no desire. She ended up divorced and met a different guy. Guess what? She wants to do it all the time now. In her case it was the guy.

I'd rule out any medical issues. The pill can cause lack of desire. So can weight and depression. (I had weight issues after my kids but even then I still had tons of desire.)

Sometimes, though, when you don't do something, you don't feel like it (like going to the gym ... once you get there, it's fine. Same with sex.) Sometimes you just need to do it to get back in the swing of it. And think about it. Think about what you like and want. Get some romance and spark back. Text your husband with a risky message. Go to a hotel for a night. Buy yourself something pretty. Even if you have weight hanging on, you can buy something pretty. When you feel better about yourself, you won't be so self-conscious. Get your husband on board with it. Get him to pay attention to you. When we get caught up with being wives, moms, employees we sometimes lose us. Learn to be nice to yourself and take some time for yourself. And be affectionate. Be very affectionate. It's hard to jump into feeling sexy when you've been running your tail off all day. When couples are affectionate at other times, it's easier to transition. Hug a lot. Touch a lot.

As far as dryness, there's things you can buy to rectify that.

You can get the romance back if you want. You're way too young to be living a sexless life (everyone is in my opinion.) Sex and love are too important a part of a relationship to do without or do it by just going through the motions.

Good luck.

DerbyLayne · 04-23-2010, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

You mentioned so many things that could contribute, including loss of sleep, diabetes, and stress. Any changes we make in our lives even to reduce stress can temporary raise stress, just because change is so stressful. I would probably start by looking at the birth control pills, they are hormones, and a lightly different balance could help, so first step would be to talk to OBGN. I would not ignore this situation, there are many ways to approach it including the psychological ways, but I think approaching the physical is the best place to start. Here's an article you might find interesting. Low sex drive in women — causes and solutions

that article is amazing! so many good things in it!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ IT.

DerbyLayne · 04-23-2010, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krystee

I gotta ask... did you say "diabeeetuusss" because of the diabetes commercials with the old man?

Hahah yes! Sorry if you didn't find it funny....

manolos mom · 04-23-2010, 03:50 PM

I think the Pill has something to do with it. I have never been on Birth Control and I have an active sex life. You just have to be creative. It was hard when my girls were little but you need to get away and find some time to date again.

04-23-2010, 01:49 PM	#18
ladyjane Resident Yorkie Nut Donating YT 20K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 27,490	All joking aside....sorry I could not resist that one. I would suggest that you speak with your family physician. He/she can help you figure out a cause and suggest solutions. OR...if your physician has a Nurse Practitioner I would strongly suggest you make an appt with him/her. They are very thorough and can help you! __________________ CLOUD NINE BEDS--YORKIE HAVEN RESCUE MY ETSY SHOP

04-23-2010, 02:17 PM	#20
Cheller_ YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Milwaukee Posts: 259	Woah?! it's alittle hot in here. lol jk Have you given a thought about fantasys or roleplay? Sometimes we need to go back to the basics or take a look at it from a different angle. Maybe you don't have to go and take a trip to Turks & Caicos but try a hotel that specializes in creating intimate settings. Oh yea... RELAAXXX __________________ Member of PMR (Prey Model RAW) feedingoAchieving enlightenment one post at a time. Last edited by Cheller_; 04-23-2010 at 02:18 PM. Reason: forgot something

04-23-2010, 03:50 PM	#30
manolos mom Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 7,982	I think the Pill has something to do with it. I have never been on Birth Control and I have an active sex life. You just have to be creative. It was hard when my girls were little but you need to get away and find some time to date again. __________________ Ethical Breeders follow and support http://www.ytca.org/

04-23-2010, 10:52 AM	#16
shodanusmc BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Illinois Posts: 4,603	I forget things more often now. What was the topic, and what is sex?

04-23-2010, 02:08 PM	#19
LuvMyPuppE Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: TN Posts: 200	the only time i ever want to have sex is if i've had a few drinks! sad, but true! i blame it on having 2 small kids and my husband is basically a 3rd kid - always having to clean up after them all day long. when they finally go to bed, i just want to be left ALONE! i don't really mind having sex, but i don't initiate it cus i just have no desire. i was honest with my husband and told him just what i said here. i think he was relieved actually cus now when he wants to have sex he just tells me and we can cut right to the chase. he's exhausted by the end of the day anyway so knowing i don't care for a marathon is fine with him!

04-23-2010, 03:46 PM	#27
Mary4 Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Norwood, MA Posts: 139	Sorry, I'm not on board for the strip club at all. This has never happened to me. Ever. But I have a friend who had the same problem her whole married life. She thought she had no desire. She ended up divorced and met a different guy. Guess what? She wants to do it all the time now. In her case it was the guy. I'd rule out any medical issues. The pill can cause lack of desire. So can weight and depression. (I had weight issues after my kids but even then I still had tons of desire.) Sometimes, though, when you don't do something, you don't feel like it (like going to the gym ... once you get there, it's fine. Same with sex.) Sometimes you just need to do it to get back in the swing of it. And think about it. Think about what you like and want. Get some romance and spark back. Text your husband with a risky message. Go to a hotel for a night. Buy yourself something pretty. Even if you have weight hanging on, you can buy something pretty. When you feel better about yourself, you won't be so self-conscious. Get your husband on board with it. Get him to pay attention to you. When we get caught up with being wives, moms, employees we sometimes lose us. Learn to be nice to yourself and take some time for yourself. And be affectionate. Be very affectionate. It's hard to jump into feeling sexy when you've been running your tail off all day. When couples are affectionate at other times, it's easier to transition. Hug a lot. Touch a lot. As far as dryness, there's things you can buy to rectify that. You can get the romance back if you want. You're way too young to be living a sexless life (everyone is in my opinion.) Sex and love are too important a part of a relationship to do without or do it by just going through the motions. Good luck.