No, I laughed because that's what I automatically thought of. LOL. Have you ever seen the remix of those commercials on YouTube? Here's one of them



Of course, this is having fun with the commercials and the way he says diabetes... not making fun of the illness or people who have it :)

You know the 'ole saying:

Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place :)

Maybe a date might help?

OMG, thats funny and so true.

OK now I have to put my 2 cents worth. Before marriage, if a man wants a sexual relationship they with start with foreplay to try to get to first base and beyond. Many men, once you are married, skip this step which is a very important step for women.

Maybe having a relaxing bubble bath together or a massage would help to get in the mood.

ooohhh, ahhh...yeah, you bet

....love you honey, but is over yet?!

pretty much! lol.

we've come to an agreement. i'm sure it might change when i hit my "prime" but as of now - it works out well. i never say no, but i'm never "in the mood" either. i'm just not naive enough to think sex isn't important to men (and a lot of women) but just not me...anymore. so, when he wants it - he gets it - but he doesn't wait around for me to attack him cus he knows it won't happen. i do love my husband though so when it does happen, it's an emotional thing for me more than anything else...and it's emotional and majorly physical for him (he's a man). i don't dread it when he wants to - it's just that i couldn't care less. i don't care to not have it, or to have it. i just figure it's better to talk about it and come to an agreement instead of always saying "no" and being naive enough to think he won't get tired of hearing NO. that seems to be when they find someone who will say YES and neither of us wants that to happen.

Men, You gotta love um. Thats why we need to teach them what we like and need and how to do it. Dont be shy. :)

I have not used the pill for about 9 years now without any problems. There are other forms of contraceptive and methods that can be used.

Warning TMI

My vibrator needs a new battery and I keep bugging to get a new battery and he's concerned about "needs and wants" in terms of buying things. I need stimulation, and I don't get it. Our agreement is "You don't have to do it for me, because I don't do it for you" if you know what I mean.

I hate doing it. HATE IT. but he's a guy, so what does he care? that's why I have my mini vibe to use during sex. He hates doing it too- so I guess i didn't luck out there. I use to date a guy who was all about that for a women, and honestly? I obviously wanted sex more or at least would be willing to do it.

Not only am I not in the mood ever, but I don't really get anything out of it. I have to do all the work for myself during, and when he tries to do manual help for me- I end up doing it myself anyway. He does end up trying, but it's after the "we're not getting anywhere" and by time my --- is done trying too. That's why I need my vibe back in business!

I guess you could say that not only am I not in the mood, I don't care about sex because I get nothing out of it. I do enjoy the "help" though when I'm "ready". It's nice to have him there, so to speak. then again, I don't even get myself off anymore... so I'm sure there's more to it.

I think I might discuss the possibility of going off birth control. To be honest, at this age, I'm worried about the long term useage and would really like to get that out of my system. I do want kids in the next 2-3 years.

I don't want the IUD, it kind of scares me? convince me!

The nuvaring made me dry and it was so painful down there. it burned. I think I was allergic.

the patch made me spot forever and ever.

condoms are great, but not fool proof.

pull-out method is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. lol

I understand your concern about alternate birth control. But I REALLY think it's the pill. You love your man right and don't want to have sex with anyone else correct?? You're going to have to find a way to work it out. I would use condoms if I were you, I would get off the pill. I feel like myself again!!!

Some things that have helped me get in the mood....
-date night-I LOVE seeing my babe all dressed up-he's a fox:D, and I know what outfits he likes.
-VACATIONS!!!!!!! (we are like animals:))
-LINGERIE!!!!! I kid you not, when you feel sexy, you want to have sex
-Don't have "sex" in mind....do the whole playing around and foreplay is HUGE for women!!!!!! For many couples, satisfaction can come from "other methods."
-Now, this one....can get ugly but if in moderation, can help. Read a naughty novel, or erotic literature. If you're OK with watching some soft porn, watch it. It'll get your blood pumping. I'm talking about for you...not for him!!:D

I know how frustrating this can be.....
HUGS!!!!
Viv

honest opinion here - (Sorry this is long !) but only cause I've been there & done that...in a marriage or relationship we all have to make concessions -

I admit to many times not being in the mood - but also have had a great life regarding sex - I lived with someone for 3 years and it was the greatest relationship as far as desire - but as people age - or have kids - health issues - that drive can either go up or down -

they SAY women reach their peak much later in life and I have a hard time believing that - BUT - to keep a happy marriage you have to make the effort - it could really turn into a conflict that a man will resent ....

so my peon advise is to - take the time to be involved. Take the time to try to see it as a part of a relationship -it isn't all marriage is about & can be much more important to your partner than you ....but you don't want to push him away even if it isn't something you feel like doing.

Sometimes it's the little things to keep a good relationship going and if one partner is holding back (medical reasons don't apply to what I'm saying) - the other partner is left with a void.

I'm widowed now - even miss those times where it was more of a chore than for enjoyment - for whatever reasons but I always tried to make him happy. Look at the big picture - it's only a small part of your everyday life and can easily become a BIG part if put on the back burner.

We all get busy - tired - not in the mood etc - but it can hurt your relationship badly if you aren't on the same page regarding intimancy.

to men - it's a major major part of life......you don't want to jeopardize a good life when it can be easily remidied.....

my advise is do whatever it takes to keep your relationship on a good level and even those times you really dread it - it's only a few moments of your life and IMO can only help you in the long run.

Men will easily look to others - women too ....so hopefully you can try to look at it more positivily and in turn - maybe you won't feel so un-sexy. If a man loves you - you're already in a good place.....If he loves you and is frustrated - you could end up in a bad place..

edited to add to my novel - even men in happy marriages will 'cheat' but your chances of keeping the trust and love will be less likely if he feels wanted.

and remember, nothing will kill the mood faster than asking him "is it in yet"!

you poor woman! that's a requirement for marriage or just a sex partner - must go there! i'm not the biggest fan of sex anymore, but if i'm gonna be having it - and i am - that's mandatory!

it's funny that you say you get nothing out of it. just 2 nights ago my husband was saying he wanted to have sex, and he was like why don't you want to anymore, i don't understand. i said, "the only thing sex does for me is gets me pregnant and makes me take an extra shower."

we can joke about it (as long as i still do it).

I totally agree with this. I love before you have sex, all the making out, the sexual tension, the longing... and then when you've been together for a while, it's like, hey, we're naked, we might as well have sex.

I asked my last bf why we couldn't just kiss for twenty minutes the way we did when we were dating, and he said, b/c I get turned on and want to have sex.

I think for women also, feeling sexy and longed for is a big part of it. It can be a tall order to lose weight, but maybe just getting a pedicure or a hair cut, or a nice pair of jeans can help. And if your husband can communicate, "I find you really attractive", rather than "I want to have sex, and you're the only one I'm allowed to have it with", I think that can help.

Also, WRT the vibrator... does he know how to get you off? If not, you need to be willing to teach him, and he needs to be willing to learn. A lot of times we feel that this should happen naturally, but it often doesn't. Maybe some lower pressure sessions with the vibrator, where it's not, "I am going to have an orgasm, come hell or high water", but "here's what helps, now you try." And if it takes multiple sessions for him to figure it out, that's okay. Rome wasn't built in a day! Even if he can get you closer before you need to bring in outside help, that might help you feel more satisfied.

And of course, the old standby... tell him your fantasies!