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08-20-2009, 11:59 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Too funny!!!!! I got this in an email today and thought it was hilarious!!! I hope it does not offend anyone! -I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. -More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. -Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -There is a great need for sarcasm font. -Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it. -How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? -I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. -I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. -The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. -Was learning cursive really necessary? -I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. -Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". -How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? -I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d1ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! -Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" -What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? -MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. -Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. -I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. -Bad decisions make good stories -Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! -Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year? -Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.... -You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. -"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. -I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?' -I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. -When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. -I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. -As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. -It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood. -I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. -Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it. -I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. -I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz Last edited by celstu1; 08-20-2009 at 12:03 PM. |
Welcome Guest! | |
08-20-2009, 12:12 PM | #2 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2008 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 144
| lol @ "Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.".....I was thinking the same thing the other day.
__________________ Bree's Mommy SHE IS MY |
08-20-2009, 12:28 PM | #3 |
No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 16,218
| I'm not offended at all. I relate to most of them |
08-20-2009, 12:34 PM | #4 | |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| Quote:
The second one I picked out is really funny to me. I was in the Navy and had to learn the official phonetic alphabet -- but I still have trouble sometimes remembering "G" -- it is "as in Golf." I think it should be "George" like it was in the original one, much easier to remember. I think most people just make up their own words for the letters now. Then I think to myself, that is not right, it should be "B as in Bravo" not "B as in Baby" (as an example). This is one of those, "you had to be there" posts I think......probably only funny to someone who actually had to learn the phonetic alphabet and has a warped sense of humor.
__________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard | |
08-20-2009, 12:42 PM | #5 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
Posts: 646
| OMG I LOVED this !! Thank you so much. I am laughing out loud over here
__________________ I love Ralphie (my little stinker ), Agnes (my sweet baby) and Teddy (my rescue angel) |
08-20-2009, 01:06 PM | #6 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 2,120
| Rolling over here! This is absolutely hilarious! I'm in my office literally laughing out loud as I read this and everyone is asking me what's going on. I sent it to one other and now they are laughing too. Thanks for a great laugh!
__________________ ~ Melinda ~ Mom to Lindsey , Ginger & Pepper RIP Sunny:February 5,1995 to June 3,2008 |
08-20-2009, 05:01 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: So Ca
Posts: 2,376
| Lmbo, as l was reading it, l was saying yes, yes and yes. of course relating to alot of those just made me smile.
__________________ |
08-20-2009, 05:57 PM | #8 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,218
| for the |
08-20-2009, 06:24 PM | #9 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: USA
Posts: 734
| Thanks for making us laugh! |
08-20-2009, 06:41 PM | #10 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Ga
Posts: 13
| I related to so many of those I said oh my gosh yes or exactly through almost the whole thing. The "how many times is it ok to say what before you just smile and nod" one every time i work and answer the phone. I really wish their was a right answer to that. |
08-20-2009, 10:31 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,218
| hilarious!
__________________ My goal in life is to be as good of a person as CoCoa B. already thinks I am. |
08-21-2009, 12:45 AM | #14 | |
Thor's Human Donating Member | Quote:
__________________ If you love something, set it free. Unless it's an angry tiger. | |
08-21-2009, 06:30 AM | #15 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Quote:
I had NO idea there was a phonetics alphabet though! So there are standard words you should use for each letter when spelling over the phone?? I think I need to go study now!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz | |
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