Male Physicians and Female Patients

[sammiz]

I would like to get some input on some questions that I have about male doctors and how they regard certain issues with female patients.

I watched a show a couple of nights ago about a woman that had certain medical problems that began when she was five years old. She saw numerous doctors and the problems had gotten so severe that she could barely live with them. Funny thing...she was a nurse, too.

Finally, a physician (her co-worker) advised gall bladder removal even though she had prior test regarding her gall bladder and they came back as 'normal'... When they operated, they found that there was a small hole in the bottom of her gall bladder and it had been leaking bile into her abdominal cavity which caused the severe abdominal pain that had been undiagnosed and dismissed before.

This helped her suffering immensely, however she still had problems that couldn't be solved, some of which involved her eyesight. She was finally told that it was a mental issue and she should go for psychiatric therapy.

After much continued effort, she found a physician that actually took her seriously. It was an opthamologist! And a terriffic one, at that! After he performed the regular tests for her eye problems he continued investigating, never once suggesting that she was crazy or a hypochondriac as others had.

He found the problem. She had a particular disease that had caused all of her ailments and although there is no cure, she is now on medication that helps her control the symptoms.

So here are my questions:

Do you feel that male doctors have a tendency to dismiss your complaints as 'nothing' when they cannot find the solution?

Have you ever had one 'dismiss' your concerns and regard you as a hypochondriac and/or insinuate it was 'all in your mind'?

Thanks in advance for reading this long post. I am hoping to get a lot of input here in either positive or negative responses.

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[Nikki+2]

Wow that is an amazing story! Our family doctor is a woman. This is really for my daughter- I've only seen her once for myself. The doctor I see yearly is my Gyn and I have always had a man. I also have another male doctor for another reason. I've never personally had any trouble feeling my male doctors weren't thorough or attentive. Actually I've heard sometimes female doctors can have a little bit of a tougher attitude with their female patients. Kind of a "I've been there too so suck it up" kind of attitude. I had a female dentist once who was brutal. My male doctors have always been wonderful so maybe I'm lucky.

[Little Bit]

I don't know about all doctors or whether it is more males than females that do it, but I have done medical transcription for quite awhile for both male and female doctors. I remember one female one time hinting that a patient might be a hypochondriac, but one male doctor has mentioned that thought a few times.

[red98vett]

I went to a woman doctor after my husband died....I could't sleep - eat or function & was breaking down in public the few times I went out. She was terrible...she was coldhearted and acted like I needed to suck it up and prescribed a freaking antihistimine to sleep on ! OMG I was bouncing off the walls .....I called her back 2 days later after I looked up what she gave me and asked her WHY would she prescribe something that wired me - I was sooooo exhausted from all the crying and sadness & that stuff made it so much worse - she told me to get unisom over the counter.

Can we say 'beoytch"?????

I ended up spending MORE money I didn't have to see a DIFFERENT doctor I used to go to when I worked and had insurance. she was great...she GAVE me a whole free months supply of Lunesta and a prescription to get me thru the nights plus did a sliding scale fee ....

so sorry this is so long - but it shows me it really depends on the DOCTOR - I can't say women Dr.'s are more compassionate than men though you'd think they would be wouldn't you ?

[sammiz]

Originally Posted by red98vett

I went to a woman doctor after my husband died....I could't sleep - eat or function & was breaking down in public the few times I went out. She was terrible...she was coldhearted and acted like I needed to suck it up and prescribed a freaking antihistimine to sleep on ! OMG I was bouncing off the walls .....I called her back 2 days later after I looked up what she gave me and asked her WHY would she prescribe something that wired me - I was sooooo exhausted from all the crying and sadness & that stuff made it so much worse - she told me to get unisom over the counter.

Can we say 'beoytch"?????

I ended up spending MORE money I didn't have to see a DIFFERENT doctor I used to go to when I worked and had insurance. she was great...she GAVE me a whole free months supply of Lunesta and a prescription to get me thru the nights plus did a sliding scale fee ....

so sorry this is so long - but it shows me it really depends on the DOCTOR - I can't say women Dr.'s are more compassionate than men though you'd think they would be wouldn't you ?

Yes, I do remember all that, Vee. It was a terrible time for you and a most terrible doctor. Seems she had zero compassion. I know everything is still difficult for you but I am very glad you got beyond that particular place and that partucular time.

Love and Hugs to you!

[Erin]

I've been to a LOT of doctors, so I have had a good sampling of the attitudes out there and I've not found it to be along male/female lines but just personalities. I have a FANTASTIC GP who is a 35-ish year old guy and he is awesome. My husband likes and respects him which has not been the case with dr's of his in the past. I even sent my stubborn parents to him for physicals and they like him too. I go to him for my allergies and just when I get sick and he never discounts my symptoms, he follows up(!) and he isn't Rx happy. When I couldn't get rid of my sinus infection over the winter he sent me to the ENT down the hall and made sure I went. He's awesome. Before that I went to women who were OK at best and one was a total bitch.

I've also had a whole slew of gynecologists... the first one (male) 10 years ago told me all my symptoms were in my head and even had the nerve to tell my mom he thought I was making it up to get out of school! He is a jerk. I saw a woman in his practice who was hardly any better. Then I saw a woman who was OK, but thought she knew what was wrong with me and tried to treat it with no success. I went every 3 months to try to get to the bottom of my pain issues and over 1.5 yrs she just changed my pills to a new brand every 3 months and told me to try that and see what happens. One day she just told me there was nothing else she could do for me (!!!) because I kept making appointments with the same complaint and I think she got sick of seeing me. I FINALLY found my favorite Dr. (Who I saw today actually, she is so great) and she actually listens and HELPS me. She explains things and makes sure that I know it's NOT in my head. She draws diagrams. She knows that as long as I know what's going on and why, even if nothing can be done (I already had 2 surgeries) that at least I can deal with it and not think I'm crazy.

Also, my vet is a female and I wouldn't change vets for anything!

But yes, to directly answer your question my first gynecologist was convinced that all of my pain symptoms were in my head and he said so many times. He recommended that I go see a therapist on many occasions. I actually have copies of my chart, it's quite amusing looking at how crazy he thought I was but it's also sad that he kept me from getting the relief I needed for YEARS because he was such a jerk. I even break down in tears EVERY time I go to the gynecologist (even my good one today) because it's so emotional remembering all the crap I had to go through with him. I mean, the paps used to hurt so bad I screamed and cried and rather than maybe figure out why i was in so much pain he would just sedate me for the pap and offer me Rx pain killers.

[yorkiegirl83]

Honestly, I'm not sure if it's a man or woman issue (I've had HORRIBLE female drs), but I will say I always feel rushed at the drs office.

I try to play an active part in my health and at this time have a few chronic issues I'm on medication for that just sprung up over the last few years... so when I try to discuss medications, risks, what I can do -- I get rushed out the door, or told "not to be concerned with it".

I've left many times in tears because I just felt I wasn't heard. I've switched drs a few times, but still haven't found a general practitioner I really feel listens to me. It's something I truly wish I could find - a caring, concerned, patient physician.

[Erin]

V - I'm sure she was a "beoytch" but the antihistamines didn't knock you out? Man, I can't even take Zyrtec or Benadryl because I can't even keep my eyes open. On those nights I'm so stressed and can't sleep there is nothing better than a benadryl. I don't do it often... but there's no fighting sleep with that stuff. I love my Zyrtec but it makes me so tired so I can either sneeze or be a zombie... I typically end up sneezing.

But shame on her for not helping you. My Dr. prescribed some antibiotics that made me really, REALLY sick and I called and told him no way can I take these and he prescribed a different one. We did this 3 times in one week until we found one that was tolerable. If any of you live nearby you should see my doctor!

[tanksmom]

Ive seen ALOT of Dr. in the past year and have been blown off by almost all both men and women. Ive been called Bi Polor and a hypocryndriac but it all boiled down to a broke Thyroid. I dont trust ANY Dr. and pray I never need to see one agian. But I do have to say the men are meaner, they seem to like to see me cry. The females are just insensitve and rushed. Maybe medical from civilians are better, I have military providers.

[MyPeanutAbbyGra]

Funny you should ask this. I have MS. I was dx about 10 yrs ago and probably had it for 20. My GP did think when I first saw him 19 or so yrs ago, that my symptoms sounded MS like, but that I was probably just stressed, working too hard, raising children, blah, blah, blah...

I've been a member of several MS chat boards over the years and heard so many women complain about doctors not taking them seriously and thinking they are just hysterical women. Honestly I can't say I absolutely experienced this, except with my neuro that dx'd me with MS! Figure that one out!

My PT takes my ailments much more seriously than he does...yes, she's a woman and very intune with all her patients. I think it's her personality that makes her so special, not necessarily the fact that she's a woman.

[Tiggerwit]

I have struggled with docs for my daughter since she was 5 about tummy pain. Back then she would cry and cry and cry, I finally, after numerous visits, got the pediatrician to do an x-ray and much to his surprise she was full of poop. Her whole intestine was full from top to bottom. She still has problems and no one can determine why, they finally decided it was all mental. It's pretty bad at times to the point she misses a bunch of school all the time. We finally found someone a GI specialist who put her on a lactose free diet before doing an evasive procedure. Sure enough, that appears to be the problem. We've been fighting this for 12 years now.

My mother in law had tummy trouble for years also. They determined stress and put her on valium. Turns out she actually had liver cancer, by the time they discovered it there was nothing to be done.

I have no faith really in docs. It's like a huge cattle call. They can't process you in and out fast enough. I get really annoyed too when they can't seem to remember who you are or why you are there and ask the same bloomin questions 50 times in one visit. Ticks me off. I almost pop knotted the dermatologist the other day and frankly after 2 years if they can't come up with something to help my daughter I'm going to blow.

[Erin]

Originally Posted by Tiggerwit

I have struggled with docs for my daughter since she was 5 about tummy pain. Back then she would cry and cry and cry, I finally, after numerous visits, got the pediatrician to do an x-ray and much to his surprise she was full of poop. Her whole intestine was full from top to bottom. She still has problems and no one can determine why, they finally decided it was all mental. It's pretty bad at times to the point she misses a bunch of school all the time. We finally found someone a GI specialist who put her on a lactose free diet before doing an evasive procedure. Sure enough, that appears to be the problem. We've been fighting this for 12 years now.

My mother in law had tummy trouble for years also. They determined stress and put her on valium. Turns out she actually had liver cancer, by the time they discovered it there was nothing to be done.

I have no faith really in docs. It's like a huge cattle call. They can't process you in and out fast enough. I get really annoyed too when they can't seem to remember who you are or why you are there and ask the same bloomin questions 50 times in one visit. Ticks me off. I almost pop knotted the dermatologist the other day and frankly after 2 years if they can't come up with something to help my daughter I'm going to blow.

Don't get me started on the dermatologist... now THAT is like an assembly line. I am pale and freckled and every time I go they take off 2 or 3 moles and they are always fine. Then I have to do the band aid routine for 2-3 weeks after - EVERY TIME and they never look any different. I go in a few weeks and I'm just going to tell them to stop taking off 2 or 3 every year and just take all 10 or so that are left and then I can be done with stupid band aids all at once. Oh and I'm allergic to the band aids so they told me I could buy the special stuff they use ANYWHERE and wrote down the name. No, I went to 5 pharmacies and looked online and it's only available through medical supply places. Why can't they just give me a 12 inch strip of it? I'm only paying hundreds of dollars to be there!

[chattiesmom]

What an incredible story. If more doctors would get off their pedestal and LISTEN to their patients then we would all be much better off. I KNOW my body better than anyone. My physician might know about sicknesses, but I KNOW my own body. I think good doctors are Good Listeners - that is the difference, whether male or female - they listen.

Presently, both hubby and I are seeing an incredible doctor who is a GP and the best listener I have ever known. He got to the bottom of my husband's vision migranes and sent him to another incredible neurologist who worked with Ron and prescribed the appropriate meds - no more headaches. This is the same neurologist who will be preforming the nerve study on my foot and legs. Both are male.

[YorkieRose]

I do not think it is a male or female issue. I have meet good and bad in both..but having said that..all my MD's are women...my husband said he perferred my MD to his male doctor...but that is because he losted weight, exercised, took his meds, eats right etc and she praised him for 15 mins..his male Dr said "good job"...

[MeganS]

The only bad doctor I've had was a dermatologist I went to a year ago. I have a rash on the sides of my neck and it looks like someone was trying to strangle me. My dr. (that I love) sent me to this guy. He BARELY looked at it and said it was something and gave me this lotion for it that didn't do any good. Turns out he was wrong all along and I have an intirely different problem that he TOTALLY missed because he was too busy being a know-it-all.

But my regular dr. is awesome. He's the nicest guy. My mom used to work for him. The only thing I hate is that they check your blood pressure every time you go in. I went in a few times because of my knee and every time they checked my blood pressure and I was just like "I'm pretty sure that's not the problem area." haha. But my dr is very nice and intune with what's going on. For example, I'm terrified of needles, and when I have to get blood work I pass out EVERY time. So instead of sending me to the lab, he did it right there and he took it out of my hand instead of my arm and I didn't feel a thing.