I need Advice Please, regaurds to custody Issue.

[Marlee]

Hi everyone,
Ok I in such a delimma right now. I am beside myself with saddness and worry. I sent my oldest daughter to stay with my parents in Washington until we could move up there. I was looking to finish school, and planned for it to be 1.5 years or less. Well as we all know life happens. Between a cancer scare for me, and a divorce action and reconcliation my daughter has been up there almost 3 years.
After I reconciled with my husband my parents (mother) litterally stoped talking to me. They became so angered over the idea I was going to stay with him, I was basically cut out of their lives. Including my daughters. My calls, text emails have mostly gone unanswered. I went up in April to try and see my daughter. My mom spent the entire time I was there following my daughter around telling her not to spend any time with me. I saw her for 3 hours, and in the end was told to F off, and to go to he%%, by my kid, whom had never acted this way before.

I returned home, and hoped to have them send her home for the summer, as she has come down here each year. I sent emails and made calls, the whole time they baited me along saying they would tell me the date next week. Instead they filed a restraining order against me, and filed for 3rd party custody.

I am crushed my parent would do this to me. I do not know what to do. I have been told for this case would cost me upwards of 10-15 thousand dollars to fight. I never did anything to my children to deserve this. Does anyone have any ideas on how to reason with them, how to get them to stop?

Has anyone had much luck with prepaid leagal? they have been telling me they can help, but I am thinking it is only to sell a service. Heck does anyone know of a attorney that could help us. We do not have a ton of money... we just dont. We have 5 other kids, and because we live in diffrent states it has complicated things. There is much more, but this is the basics. Sorry, if nothing else I needed to vent.

Thanks for letting me just get this out, sorry, I am just so frustrated.

Brandi

[Lexi Rae]

im so sorry that this is happening to you..i dont know what to say,but
i will send you some hugs cause you really need it.. good luck.

[Tiggerwit]

What county did your mother file in?

[Tammyh]

I'm sorry you're going through this. How old is your daughter? Do your other kids live with you? Is your husband your daughters father? I know these are personal questions and you don't have to answer. These are just the questions that came to mind as I read your post.

[chattiesmom]

I am so very sorry for you. I know your heart must be breaking. Unless you gave up parental rights when you sent your daughter to Washington, I don't understand why you can't just take the Sheriff with you and "claim her".

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

[RebelBelle]

Brandi,

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I think alot of times a custody issue depends on what judge you get and how old your child is. From your post I am going to assume that she is a teenager or preteen. At that age I believe that most judges are going to take into account where the "minor" chooses to live. At least thats what the judge did when my grandparents adopted my cousins. As far as your daughters attitude, I think that may be resentment and fear. Are you still planning to move to Washington near her grandparents? Otherwise she may feel that you are trying to take her away from the place that she has called home and the people that she's been closest too for the last 3 years.

When my Aunt moved away to start a new life with the promise to come back for my cousins as soon as she was settled, despite my grandmothers constant reassurances, my cousins did develop a resentment towards my aunt. They felt like she had abandoned them and then only wanted them to come live with her when she felt like it. (I'm not saying that this is your case, just that that is how your daughter may feel.) Following through with the move as planned may be a way to reconcile your family without the court battle. Otherwise, the only other solution I can see is you talking with your daughter and really listening to what she has to say. Remember that your parents can't be all bad. They raised you and you trusted them enough to help you raise your daughter. Maybe a heart to heart with them would go a long way as well.

I wish you all the best and hope that you can work things out without a court battle for everyone's sake.

[blueeyes_jd]

what about legal aid? I will have to ask my hubby tonight about it more... and then I will get back to you tonight... Im sorry you are going through this... ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not fair that people can get away with stuff like this... I will pray for you and your daughter... I hope your out come will be good for you! hang in there...

[Yorkiedaze]

There are laws in some states that will terminate parental rights if that parent has not paid money for support or visited in a specific amount of time. Your best bet would be to call child services and find out if there is anything they can do. You would be surprised the power they have. However, you may want to consider the consequence if you do get her back with you if she feels this way.
Don't be upset with your daughter. Sounds like she has been given an ear full, but time always has a way of setting things straight.

[Marlee]

Ok, here the the answer to a few of the questions that I see

They filed in King Co. Seattle Wa.
it contains if you can believe it one ex parte restraining order, and a 3rd party custody.

Yes we have 5 other children that live with us, all 5 are both my husbands and mine, the oldest and one in question is not his, but a high school stupidity...lol. He has not been in the picture really until now, they asked him to establish his rights in order to help them. He has seen her 4 times, and I kept in contact with him over the years.

Our daughter is 14, she IMO has been brain washed since feb. That is when my family stopped talking to me. I would call and be ignored etc.etc.

When I went out there in April they (police) said yes I had the right to take her, if I could get her in the car. My mom was great at helping to prevent that, now that they filed what they did. I cannot even contact them. There has been no abuse, although they allege there is. In fact I have been such a worry wart mommy, that my doctors have seen us often for to high fevers and anything.

They are saying she is better of there with grades and such, although she is failing 2 classes. Just the whole thing is so crazy. I had given them a power of attorney, something I was told they needed for school, but the courts said I could cancel it at any time. I canceled it in early April, they filed this may 21. I do not even know how they could do this, how they could stop us, and worse yet, how a judge could let them?

[Marlee]

I am not angry with my daughter, at all. I blame my family. I know it will be tough, but we have a plan in place for when we bring here home, mostly just to love and encourage her. I also did visit regularly, and she came here before for summers and the holidays.

[Tiggerwit]

Okay, I'm sorry you are going through this. I work for a family law attorney in Snohomish County and we don't do much in King County.

Here are my referrals for you. If you go the the King County Bar Association website, King County Bar Association Home Page, there is a tab the says Legal Help and then Free Legal Assistance or Lawyer Referral Service. They should be able to put you in touch with someone who can help you.

Another option is Seattle Divorce Attorneys; Goldberg & Jones They mostly advocate for men but I do know they represent women too. They are very good and give free legal advice over the phone. 1-800-DIVORCE (they do custody matters also).

Good luck

[txshopper73]

WOW! I feel really bad for you. To me, it sounds like your parents (mom especially) is jealous of your daughter's love for you and is wanting to be her mom...with you out of the picture.

I know that it isn't cheap, but do what you can to find legal help. When I was younger, I looked into legal aid and was told that they couldn't help me because of their work load.

Just remember Karma...what goes around comes around! I just wish that you could personally talk to your daughter to find out what is going on! I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that they have brainwashed her!

As far as the alleged abuse...is she accusing your husband and that's why your parents are upset that you reconciled?

My prayers are with you.

[Marlee]

No my daughter has never accused him until now. My mom on the other hand has. Not that it is true, she even accused of of abuse, called CPS made such a case that they came out at 7 am, this was a while ago... anyways, when they came I thought it was a joke. We passed with flying colors, and they were surprised anyone would call on us. I did not learn till recently my mom did this, as she admitted to it!.

Yeah I would love to talk to my daughter, unfortunalty the only calls I have had from her in the last 3 months, have been when my mom is right there, and I can hear her telling her what to say in the background. I have talked to her 2 times since april, everything else they ignore.

I just do not know how they can do this.
Thanks for the info, I called them, and trying to set something up. Now I just need to figure how to raise the money, they are saying a 3-5 thousand retainer, but cant say for sure until the see the paperwork they filed...

Wish me luck.Thanks All, sorry I blew up earlier, I have been stressed...

[chachi]

I am sorry you are going through this. I have been through a custody battle in the past and it was ugly and expensive so I know how you feel. I think it is terrible for your parents to treat you this way. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

[yorkiesmiles]

I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and for your daughter. Praying you can reconcile with her.