Brandi,
I'm sorry that you're going through this. I think alot of times a custody issue depends on what judge you get and how old your child is. From your post I am going to assume that she is a teenager or preteen. At that age I believe that most judges are going to take into account where the "minor" chooses to live. At least thats what the judge did when my grandparents adopted my cousins. As far as your daughters attitude, I think that may be resentment and fear. Are you still planning to move to Washington near her grandparents? Otherwise she may feel that you are trying to take her away from the place that she has called home and the people that she's been closest too for the last 3 years.
When my Aunt moved away to start a new life with the promise to come back for my cousins as soon as she was settled, despite my grandmothers constant reassurances, my cousins did develop a resentment towards my aunt. They felt like she had abandoned them and then only wanted them to come live with her when she felt like it. (I'm not saying that this is your case, just that that is how your daughter may feel.) Following through with the move as planned may be a way to reconcile your family without the court battle. Otherwise, the only other solution I can see is you talking with your daughter and really listening to what she has to say. Remember that your parents can't be all bad. They raised you and you trusted them enough to help you raise your daughter. Maybe a heart to heart with them would go a long way as well.
I wish you all the best and hope that you can work things out without a court battle for everyone's sake.
__________________  Misty & Jamie
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