I am so upset....crushed

[YorkieAZ]

Bless your hearts Debbi and Jen, I'm so saddened by what is happening to you. I hope you can gain strength by the support of your YT friends

[red98vett]

Debbie- before he sees this thread I think you should copy it & send it to your daughter or have HER copy it and save it - I'm glad you have her and aren't alone.

then ask admin to delete it.

you should talk about whatever you plan privately somewhere - I'd hate to see anything used against you if you end up in court.

Your man sounds nuts and after reading your latest.....even without the porn etc - it sounds like a bad situation and you will be so much happier without all that drama in your life. It's hard being alone... but compared to that - I'd rather be alone then living in constant turmoil.

You're really in a tough situation and all the best to you

[spr377]

I just read through this thread......WOW and GOOD LUCK!! He sounds horrible!! prayers and thoughts with you.

[NanaDtreasures]

Originally Posted by red98vett

Debbie- before he sees this thread I think you should copy it & send it to your daughter or have HER copy it and save it - I'm glad you have her and aren't alone.

then ask admin to delete it.

you should talk about whatever you plan privately somewhere - I'd hate to see anything used against you if you end up in court.

Your man sounds nuts and after reading your latest.....even without the porn etc - it sounds like a bad situation and you will be so much happier without all that drama in your life. It's hard being alone... but compared to that - I'd rather be alone then living in constant turmoil.

You're really in a tough situation and all the best to you

Allies puppies are coming
So hopefully it will be a good day!
Yesterday was calm ...Yay
Oh I wont post here just what Im doing... when
Just in case. I dont want him to know what I'm doing or planing.
But he knows the time is coming I've been telling him you're not worth this.
I'll take my chances.
But I dont want to delete the thread, because I've said nothing but the truth here.
And I dont want to lose the support I've found here

[katelin]

I haven't seen anything here that would be harmful to you in court. So don't worry about that. You should probably be careful and concerned about letting him know your plans. Surprise is a great tool in a war -- and honey this is war. ( I think I'm going to start humming the Rocky theme song.) Keep focused on your plan. You can do this!

Soooo glad you have your daughter and her help. She sounds great!

Our very best to you and your little mom. Wishing for a peaceful and healthy birth! Keep us informed.

[cariblonde]

how are you?

[NanaDtreasures]

Originally Posted by cariblonde

how are you?

Things are ok the last couple days.
Its warm and sunny here, and he's been outside or gone most of the time.
Sunday night Allie had her puppies ,and so I've been real busy making sure all are gaining etc.And I had one with a messed up leg BUT its getting better!.
Jen had several drs appointments with my grandson who has cystic fibrosis and two of her other boys have strep.Ughhhhhh

When it rains it pours..lol
I never did tell him about the porn. It just wasnt worth losing my computer over it. Not that it matters anyways...This was just like the last kick in the teeth for me.(As if there hadnt been enough)
We are planning for next week to start THE plan.
Lot of checking to do. And I have made notes from PM's and here.
The support was amazing!

Now....how are YOU doing? I've thought many times about you.
Its hard with little ones but you can do this.
YOU deserve so much better

[Susan123]

I'm glad you've had some peaceful days

[011011]

Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures

Things are ok the last couple days.
Its warm and sunny here, and he's been outside or gone most of the time.
Sunday night Allie had her puppies ,and so I've been real busy making sure all are gaining etc.And I had one with a messed up leg BUT its getting better!.
Jen had several drs appointments with my grandson who has cystic fibrosis and two of her other boys have strep.Ughhhhhh

When it rains it pours..lol
I never did tell him about the porn. It just wasnt worth losing my computer over it. Not that it matters anyways...This was just like the last kick in the teeth for me.(As if there hadnt been enough)
We are planning for next week to start THE plan.
Lot of checking to do. And I have made notes from PM's and here.
The support was amazing!

Now....how are YOU doing? I've thought many times about you.
Its hard with little ones but you can do this.
YOU deserve so much better

Keep your head and spirits up girl,you know how to reach me if you need anything

[LoveMyJake]

You need to get a small tape recording device which can be easily hidden, then get him into a conversation about what he said he would do if you divorced him. Take it to a lawyer, get your husband out and get a restraining order to protect yourself. If he violates it, he goes to jail. Don't let him control you with your own money. He is just biding his time until the 5 years is up so he can take your money. He's a con artist. Get rid of him!

I am sorry you have to deal with this, but you can get help to legally get him out of there. I wish you the best.

[katelin]

I love it, "the PLAN". Way to go girl. Keep moving towards the goal. Glad you have had some peace the last few days.

[Saleswman]

I have not been here in a while.....been thinking of you though....

Hope you are ok.

Shirley

[NanaDtreasures]

Originally Posted by Saleswman

I have not been here in a while.....been thinking of you though....

Hope you are ok.

Shirley

I'm doing good..Working at packing up stuff a bit at a time so that he wont notice. In case I have to get out fast.

He has still been gone most of the time. So at least not as stressful.
And no .... Not to look for a job..why would he want to WORK?!?!?
Ughhh ..
But Allie had her puppies and all are doing well (I just finally got around to posting them in the Nursery yesterday.)
And Nala is having hers anytime now. Then I'm done with puppies for about a year,
But thank you so much for thinking of me...
Everybody here has been great. It really did do me some good to just let it out here.
And everyone was so kind to me. (((hugs)))

[Sunnie]

Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures

And katelin

Ok...this is long..

Thinking how I can put a very long story into a short one...
After a 22 year marriage my husband and I divorced.
I call it midlife crisis. New woman and new motorcycle...
We are still good friends.
I received a 100.000 settlement for my part of our home which was paid off.

A year after I met and married my new husband.
I did get a prenup before marriage, even thou this was the sweetest man I'd ever met.
Little did I know that soon...verbal, mental and physical abuse would start.
He was diagnosed as being bipolar with personality disorders,after first going thru chronic depression after both his parents died shortly after we married.
I stayed with this man thru all the abuse because he was seeking help and meds to get better.
He has worked little during the 4 years we have been married, just enough to keep his medical ins in effect thru his company. 3 years ago he almost had a heart attack and ended up with 3 stents placed in his chest and different medications.
He no longer has no ins. and is laid off of another "new job"

I have wanted a divorce for years having given up on him getting stable with his mental issues.
I cant take the abuse anymore.
This wasn't new to him ,he has known for this I am done and was preparing to sell the house. Which WE bought right before we were married with ME putting my 100,000 down on the house. He put nothing.But the prepup states that if we divorced before 5 years this money would come back to me in the sell of the house.

Since I have told him, I am filing for divorce this spring AND he found out he has no medical ins. he stated to me "fine...file for divorce..the day I get served I will immediately go to the ER.Tell them I am having chest pains and all the equity that is in this house will be gone " We already know when they did the stents there were more that needed done, but they chose not to do them at that time....
I thought he cant do this and ask my ins agent where I get my medical ins, Would they take my home over medical bills. And he said sadly they can. AND I couldn't file for bankruptcy because there is so much equity in the house.
He is uninsurable...I've been denied by everywhere I applied ...Help...
I feel so used....blackmailed by someone I loved and did everything to try to help and work thru everything else. Does anyone know...Is there anyway I can prevent this.After today...I just want out

I haven't read the entire thread, but wanted to throw something out there that might be helpful. If you are sure you are wanting a divorce, go to a lawyer and file the paperwork. Make sure that they put in it that you are NOT LIABLE FOR ANY EXPENSES INCURRED BY HIM FROM TIME OF SEPERATION. He can go to the hospital all he wants and his expenses will be paid by HIM not you. NOT your portion of the house division. You need to see a lawyer before he dose anything like that

[Sunnie]

I also wanted to throw something else out there for you to ponder. Do you have ANY close friends or family in a nearby state that would honor your prenup? If so, maybe you could tell him they are sick and need your help and go there for 90 days to establish residence and file there without him knowing. Just give him hope that you are staying in the marraige....... long enough to establish residence so you can file elsewhere. Then go home and get a protection order before he is served. I don't know, I am grasping at straws here, but thought it might be something to think about.