So sad and confused right now... miss my Dad!

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by LuvMySissy

We were not invited to the wedding. When we would tell our dad what she said we were accused of lying because she "loved us and would never do anything like that". So, she basically succeeded in keeping us apart for many years.

Unfortunately, many women rule the roost and are very threatened by a man's children and the dad's don't have the balls to stand up for their children. He is the loser in the end. As daughters we will always want our daddy's in our life, but sometimes it just isn't worth the heartache.

*I kind of edited your post, bc you hit the nail on the head with these things! My mom got remarried, my brothers and I and her hubbys son stood at their side. My dad got married in 'secret' and didnt tell any of us until 4 months later!
I've told him things she has said to me and basically his last email to me was proof he didnt believe me at all.

This woman has a daughter almost my age who is very sick and unfortunately dying. She also lost her own mother when she was young. My dad says that she gets "sad" when she hears us talk about our mother bc she didn't have a mother growing up, and that she hates my mom. Also she begrudges my and my brothers successes in life bc her daughter will never have those things. How can a woman hold success against her husbands kids? its like if we were all 'losers' then would she like us? These things to me are lame excuses that my dad spews out to 'keep the peace' but Im not dumb enough to fall for it anymore. She needs to GROW UP! That won't happen though, shes 55 with 3 kids of her own (who by the way, 2 of them lived with them, until she lost custody of them, but neither myself of my brothers were allowed to live with them).

Oh yeah and ladies, they bought a mink coat recently bc it was on sale! Like her materialistic dumbA$$ thought Id be impressed with that, i told her I didnt want to see it and thats disgusting, and then sarcastically thanked her for supporting the china fur trade. (this was recently though, like maybe 8 months ago - she already had rejected me by then YEARS ago so what do I care what I say at this point) and she'll NEVER wear the coat, she is hoarder of THINGS! Its WEIRD!

[soccbydo]

I am so sorry you are going thru this now. You know what, I think your father is a fool, because this new wife is able to pull his strings. So many women end up doing this when they remarry a man with kids. they either become bitches or they make life hell for the children no matter what age they are. I really feel your grief.

If I were you, I will go over there and have it out with both of them, FACE TO FACE, then when you have done this, you will see really what and who your father chooses. If he defends her and not listens to you, then you will know what you have to do. Do they have children together?

[Buddy-licious]

OK....if your Dad did send the email there has to be a reason that he is saying that dinner is not working for him anymore. Either his wife has put a stop to it or perhaps the dinners are stressful for him. When you and your dad see each other ...do you use this time to complain about his wife and talk about your problems? It is perfectly normal if you do because most daughters use their dad's to tell all their problems to but the fact that you only see him once a month it could be a bit much for him to handle!!! Don't get me wrong.....if you are using that dinner time to "vent" he should "suck it up"....for this is the only time he gets to see his daughter!!!!!! But perhaps if you can get him to agree to continue to have dinner with you .....try keeping everything on a positive note. Maybe you could talk about all your fond memories with him!!!
I hope you get to the bottom of his change of heart!!! I agree with all the other posters....he is going to regret this one day!!!!

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by Buddy-licious

OK....if your Dad did send the email there has to be a reason that he is saying that dinner is not working for him anymore. Either his wife has put a stop to it or perhaps the dinners are stressful for him. When you and your dad see each other ...do you use this time to complain about his wife and talk about your problems? It is perfectly normal if you do because most daughters use their dad's to tell all their problems to but the fact that you only see him once a month it could be a bit much for him to handle!!! Don't get me wrong.....if you are using that dinner time to "vent" he should "suck it up"....for this is the only time he gets to see his daughter!!!!!! But perhaps if you can get him to agree to continue to have dinner with you .....try keeping everything on a positive note. Maybe you could talk about all your fond memories with him!!!
I hope you get to the bottom of his change of heart!!! I agree with all the other posters....he is going to regret this one day!!!!

Oh no, absolutely not, since we started doing dinner, at least I see him once a month, before that it was LESS than that bc of her. But I do not EVER mention HER or my mother. I make certain to not do that at all. I notice he never mentions her either. I BET its her who does not like the dinner out thing, but I dont think he likes it too much either. Hes just not the sam man.

[Buddy-licious]

Originally Posted by celstu1

Oh no, absolutely not, since we started doing dinner, at least I see him once a month, before that it was LESS than that bc of her. But I do not EVER mention HER or my mother. I make certain to not do that at all. I notice he never mentions her either. I BET its her who does not like the dinner out thing, but I dont think he likes it too much either. Hes just not the sam man.

Well, he has NO excuse for breaking your plans for dinner!!!! YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!! SHAME ON HIM!!!
I am so sorry sweetheart....I know this just breaks your heart!!!!
I just pray that your "old" dad comes around and you can build a better relationship with him!!!
Keep us posted!!! I am going to be praying for you!!!

[LuvMySissy]

Originally Posted by celstu1

*I kind of edited your post, bc you hit the nail on the head with these things! My mom got remarried, my brothers and I and her hubbys son stood at their side. My dad got married in 'secret' and didnt tell any of us until 4 months later!
I've told him things she has said to me and basically his last email to me was proof he didnt believe me at all.

This woman has a daughter almost my age who is very sick and unfortunately dying. She also lost her own mother when she was young. My dad says that she gets "sad" when she hears us talk about our mother bc she didn't have a mother growing up, and that she hates my mom. Also she begrudges my and my brothers successes in life bc her daughter will never have those things. How can a woman hold success against her husbands kids?

Unfortunately, I can see much future heartache here for you. I said I wanted my kids to know their heritage, their grandfather. I always told my mom as long as he & my stepmother treated my kids well, I could set aside my past and all the wrongs. As soon as my stepmother had grandkids of her own, we were more or less kicked to the curb. Out of me and my 4 brothers and sisters, only 1 brother talks to my dad and he has to work very hard to make that happen. I doubt my dad even asks about the rest of us. It is hard to take, but I stand firm that it is HIS LOSS!!! It is a real shame that he has 5 children who turned out great (no thanks to him) and 9 grandchildren (6 of whom are now adults) and he doesn't really know any of them.