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Tiger's Mom · 06-02-2006, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joeysmom

What do you do with your grief??? I miss Joey so much I can't stand it sometimes. I thought it would help to sit and read about what other people are going through, but It's just making me cry. I don't even know what to do with myself these days. I just sit here at the computer and look at pictures, or read stuff on this website. I have such a hole in my heart and I don't know how to shake this sadness off. It's been exactly one week since we had to let Joey go ( he had a broken neck). Part of me wants to replace him (though no one could take his place) and part of me is terrified to have another little dog. At least my labbies are huge and sturdy. But I really loved feeling Joey's soft little body on my lap and having him to hang out with me wherever I went. I just want to feel better, and be able to enjoy my memories of him. I want to be my normal cheerful self again... not only for my own sake but for my husband and kids. I feel so non-functional these days....

So how do you all (who've loved and lost) get through it?

deb

OMG, Debbie, I did not even know he is gone . . .where have I been ?! Oh poor baby . . . he's so adorable . . . I am so glad I will always have him on my website . . . gosh, remember I even asked if you would like to join us for our next playdate (when I come visit this June) and you declined because you feel he is too fragile even to be with other yorkies. . . I am so sorry for your loss! But you know, in order for you to move on, I hope you will consider getting another yorkie . . . perhaps even naming him Joey Jr. in honor of him . . that way you will always remember him and will feel that you have 2 yorkies in just one body . . .

My heart goes out to you . . . .

Joeysmom · 06-02-2006, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiger's Mom

OMG, Debbie, I did not even know he is gone . . .where have I been ?! Oh poor baby . . . he's so adorable . . . I am so glad I will always have him on my website . . . gosh, remember I even asked if you would like to join us for our next playdate (when I come visit this June) and you declined because you feel he is too fragile even to be with other yorkies. . . I am so sorry for your loss! But you know, in order for you to move on, I hope you will consider getting another yorkie . . . perhaps even naming him Joey Jr. in honor of him . . that way you will always remember him and will feel that you have 2 yorkies in just one body . . .

My heart goes out to you . . . .

Thank you, Tigersmom...

I wanted to pm you, but it's just been a hard week for me. Thanks for the encouragement and sympathy. I'm trying to move on... but it will take some time. I do want to get another one, but don't know if we can do it financially. I know if we can, my hubby is willing. He feels so badly for me....

deb

teri88 · 06-02-2006, 03:29 PM

Deb,
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I wish there was some magic pill you could take to get over it, but that just doesn't happen. It's been over a year since Bandit died and most of the time I'm fine. But, every once in a while I just start thinking about him and I cry. I think when they say time heals, it means that after time you don't think about it as much, but when you stop and think about it, it still hurts.

The only thing that got me through it was YT. I would read what people wrote to me, and it was a place where I could grieve and talk about him and people didn't think I was nuts!

I said I absolutly would not get another yorkie. It just hurt too much. I didn't want Bandit to think I was trying to replace him. But, after a few weeks I realized that I loved Bandit too much NOT to get another one. He opened my heart to yorkies and I had to have another one. I couldn't imagine life without one. Tucker came to us a month after Bandit died. I wanted to name him Bandit, no one else in my family would go for it. I'm so glad now that I didn't because he's as different from Bandit as he could be. We named him after the Dr. who tried to save Bandit, so his name still has a connection.

I totally think getting another one is the right thing to do. Poor Tucker, I was terrified when we first got him. I remember one night he had diarrhea and I spent the night holding him and crying and saying "Don't you dare die on me. I can't do it again"

Now, a year later, he is my darling little boy. I love him as much as I loved Bandit. He didn't replace Bandit, if he did I wouldn't miss him. But he helps remember how much I loved Bandit, and that's ok.

I hope that you will heal soon. Sorry this is so long. When I start talking about Bandit, you just can't shut me up!

Joeysmom · 06-02-2006, 03:43 PM

Again... thank you for all the loving words. It really helps.

deb

veguroev · 06-02-2006, 03:53 PM

http://www.petloss.com/
I hope this helps. You can go to the your local SPCA webpage and they have grief meetings once a week. Think that wherever our babies are, they are happy and watching over us.

chattiesmom · 06-02-2006, 06:23 PM

Deb, first of all, I am sending you hugs.... I know the pain of losing a Yorkie.... it is a burning pain that is all consuming. I cried buckets and buckets -- It took me almost 5 years to get ready for a second Yorkie. But I am here to testify that the pain does dull and now Lacie resides in the part of my heart where I keep cherished memories alive. Chattie and Chizziewink and Peppy are who I have now to touch and love and to hold -- the knowledge that Lacie is waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for me is a comfort.

Please, share some of the happy memories of Joey.... I would love to hear some of those stories, and it will help to ease the pain just a bit to remember him in the happier moments.

Chel · 06-04-2006, 10:24 AM

Deb,

There is much wisdom in the words of our friends previous email threads.... I too have lost 3 yorkies. The last was my little Tara, she was my buddy through thick and thin, she greived with my as we lost her sister, then after 18 1/2 years I had to make the wrenching decision to have her put to sleep as she was so very ill. I will never forget the agony that I went through to make that decision - as my others were "taken" from me... you know when I think back the hurt was all the same... I said no more... but after a year with no Yorkie.... I got another baby. She has been such a joy and blessing. I have my worries with her and already went through an unexpected surgery, but she really has filled our lives with smiles and love again... I am truely sorry for your loss and for the sorrow you feel. Please pray for God to surround you with his loving arms and bring peace back into your heart to heal the ache. I am sending you big hugs!!! Jazzy sends licks & hugs too...

Dan & Corinne · 06-05-2006, 09:49 PM

I also know what you are going through. It's been a little over 2 weeks since Jewel died and I still cry every day but I'm getting better.

Things that helped me are:

1. Crying! A Lot! I let myself sob out loud over her.
2. Reading all the condolences on YT and Crying again
3. Made a "Memory Book" of Jewel - Crying while making it. The book is 94 pages and has over 160 pictures in it. I built it on Shutterfly and took 2 days to make it.
4. Made a Jewel shrine. It's a small trunk with her picture, favorite toys, her collar hanging on a cross, her dish, a lock of her hair, baby tooth, her ashes, cards from friends, and a cast of her paw made at the veterinary office.
5. Talk about her to any who would listen.
6. Wrote a Tribute to her
7. Posting all sorts of information on what I learned while dealing with Jewel's illness. I don't want Jewel's death to go to waste if I have the knowledge to help another from grief.

I guess everytime I "DO" something in her memory, it helps to mend my heart. It's helped me realize I did EVERYTHING I could to make her short life have meaning and comfort.

Suggestion: Research about any strange virius that could have taken your baby. Post what you find here on YT and let us know what you found and help someone else from your loss.

I hope your heartache is replaced with all the good memories you shared.

Baby Blessing · 06-05-2006, 11:43 PM

Dear Deb,
I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you are considering getting another yorkie, they definately don't replace the one we had to give up, but how blessed another one would be to have your love. When we lost Cassie, seven months ago today, it was one of the worst nights of my life, we loved her so much and the comfort she gave to Jack was unmeasureable in dollars and cents, no money in the world would we have taken for her but then God chose to take her and so with knowing where she went we must accept this and know all things work out accordingly to his will, this is our belief. I still cry hard and today was one of them but not really all in sadness but also for the gratefullness of having been blessed with her for all those many years. It was not easy financially getting Baby Blessing, when we found her we knew that God had a plan for us and it included getting her so we managed to do it. I know the pain you are feeling and will keep you in our prayers please let us know when you do get another, I think it is only a matter of time and you will, they are such a comfort, Baby Blessing really is to Jack and myself, she is helping us to cope, I don't think we will ever get over Cassie. I wish so many times I could hold her one more time but that day will come and it won't be just one more time it will be forever in eternity. God comfort you and help you through this, it will help you by coming to YT and sharing your feelings with others, so many many here know what you are going through and have been where you are now. Typed to you with all sincerity.
Patti and Jack ~~Baby Blessing~~

Joeysmom · 06-06-2006, 05:40 AM

Patty and Corinne...

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm doing much better, but it's so odd for me to feel so down... I'm usually a very upbeat energetic person, and I just can't seem to get myself going. My mind is still pretty unfocused. We've had so many things happen to our family over the past 6 weeks or so, it's starting to wear me down. I don't know what I would do if I was one of those people with HUGE problems.

1. My son moved out 4/2 (the first to do so!), and we brought Joey home the same day.
2. 2 weeks later, my son lost his job.
3. The next day someone rear-ended my son while he was at a stop sign.
4. My youngest daugter's horse broke her leg while standing in the stall... we had to put her down.. it was a compound fracture in her upper leg.
5. The following week, my son was in another car accident, this one his fault!
6. Joey stopped stopped walking....etc.
7. We lost Joey, Friday the 26th, and yesterday, Mike's mom had to have stents put in two arteries....one had 100% blockage the other was 50%!

Whew! It's gotta get better, though, right? My son is doing okay...lots of back pain. He's working as a horseshoer, but doesn't have the benefits he would have had if he had been able to keep the other job. Mom came through the surgery okay.

And I AM looking for a puppy, but not sure we can fund it right now. I think more than anything I'm overwhelmed with everything that's going on. We also are going through major remodel in the house, we homeschool, and my daughter is turning 16 on Sunday. We're supposed to have a party for her, so that's stressfull too.

Wah... I'm whining.... sorry! Just keep me in your prayers. I need to remember that God has my life in his hands and even though it seems like it's all spinning out of control, HE will bring me through this. I know I will be blessed with another puppy at the right time. And I sure want it to be the right puppy, so I'm trying to wait for God's timing on this.

It's good to know so many are thinking of me and mine...

Hugs to you all...

deb

Chel · 06-06-2006, 06:14 AM

Deb,

I know that I am new to YT, but I have been reading your story and I truely am sorry for your loss. As I read your last posting, I just stopped and said a prayer that God will provide you with the "Peace that Passess all Understanding" that only he can. It sounds as though you have a very strong family that loves one another deeply, this will help you ALL heal from the overwhelming blows that have impacted you all at the very core, your heart.... I hope that you will have a better day today... Hugs, Chel

06-02-2006, 03:29 PM	#18
teri88 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NJ Posts: 4,021	Deb, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I wish there was some magic pill you could take to get over it, but that just doesn't happen. It's been over a year since Bandit died and most of the time I'm fine. But, every once in a while I just start thinking about him and I cry. I think when they say time heals, it means that after time you don't think about it as much, but when you stop and think about it, it still hurts. The only thing that got me through it was YT. I would read what people wrote to me, and it was a place where I could grieve and talk about him and people didn't think I was nuts! I said I absolutly would not get another yorkie. It just hurt too much. I didn't want Bandit to think I was trying to replace him. But, after a few weeks I realized that I loved Bandit too much NOT to get another one. He opened my heart to yorkies and I had to have another one. I couldn't imagine life without one. Tucker came to us a month after Bandit died. I wanted to name him Bandit, no one else in my family would go for it. I'm so glad now that I didn't because he's as different from Bandit as he could be. We named him after the Dr. who tried to save Bandit, so his name still has a connection. I totally think getting another one is the right thing to do. Poor Tucker, I was terrified when we first got him. I remember one night he had diarrhea and I spent the night holding him and crying and saying "Don't you dare die on me. I can't do it again" Now, a year later, he is my darling little boy. I love him as much as I loved Bandit. He didn't replace Bandit, if he did I wouldn't miss him. But he helps remember how much I loved Bandit, and that's ok. I hope that you will heal soon. Sorry this is so long. When I start talking about Bandit, you just can't shut me up! __________________ Teri Owned by and completely devoted to Tucker... Maddie, we will always love you *Bandit, you are always in my heart* Proud Member SSLS

06-02-2006, 03:53 PM	#20
veguroev Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Space City Posts: 2,079	http://www.petloss.com/ I hope this helps. You can go to the your local SPCA webpage and they have grief meetings once a week. Think that wherever our babies are, they are happy and watching over us. __________________ IF THERE ARE NO DOGS IN HEAVEN, THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE THEY GO. CHIKIS, OSCARITO,JEROME, KIKI, AND NEGRITA.

06-02-2006, 06:23 PM	#21
chattiesmom Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama Posts: 17,674	Deb, first of all, I am sending you hugs.... I know the pain of losing a Yorkie.... it is a burning pain that is all consuming. I cried buckets and buckets -- It took me almost 5 years to get ready for a second Yorkie. But I am here to testify that the pain does dull and now Lacie resides in the part of my heart where I keep cherished memories alive. Chattie and Chizziewink and Peppy are who I have now to touch and love and to hold -- the knowledge that Lacie is waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for me is a comfort. Please, share some of the happy memories of Joey.... I would love to hear some of those stories, and it will help to ease the pain just a bit to remember him in the happier moments. __________________ Silk Step-In Harnesses www.foxypups.etsy.com

06-05-2006, 09:49 PM	#23
Dan & Corinne Inactive Account Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 4,387	I also know what you are going through. It's been a little over 2 weeks since Jewel died and I still cry every day but I'm getting better. Things that helped me are: 1. Crying! A Lot! I let myself sob out loud over her. 2. Reading all the condolences on YT and Crying again 3. Made a "Memory Book" of Jewel - Crying while making it. The book is 94 pages and has over 160 pictures in it. I built it on Shutterfly and took 2 days to make it. 4. Made a Jewel shrine. It's a small trunk with her picture, favorite toys, her collar hanging on a cross, her dish, a lock of her hair, baby tooth, her ashes, cards from friends, and a cast of her paw made at the veterinary office. 5. Talk about her to any who would listen. 6. Wrote a Tribute to her 7. Posting all sorts of information on what I learned while dealing with Jewel's illness. I don't want Jewel's death to go to waste if I have the knowledge to help another from grief. I guess everytime I "DO" something in her memory, it helps to mend my heart. It's helped me realize I did EVERYTHING I could to make her short life have meaning and comfort. Suggestion: Research about any strange virius that could have taken your baby. Post what you find here on YT and let us know what you found and help someone else from your loss. I hope your heartache is replaced with all the good memories you shared. __________________ Jazzie Jolie Jen & I'm Corinne Loving Memory of Jewel 4/28/2003~4/18/2006

06-02-2006, 03:43 PM	#19
Joeysmom No Longer a Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Buckley, WA Posts: 930	Again... thank you for all the loving words. It really helps. deb

06-04-2006, 10:24 AM	#22
Chel Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2006 Location: Orlando, Fl Posts: 60	Deb, There is much wisdom in the words of our friends previous email threads.... I too have lost 3 yorkies. The last was my little Tara, she was my buddy through thick and thin, she greived with my as we lost her sister, then after 18 1/2 years I had to make the wrenching decision to have her put to sleep as she was so very ill. I will never forget the agony that I went through to make that decision - as my others were "taken" from me... you know when I think back the hurt was all the same... I said no more... but after a year with no Yorkie.... I got another baby. She has been such a joy and blessing. I have my worries with her and already went through an unexpected surgery, but she really has filled our lives with smiles and love again... I am truely sorry for your loss and for the sorrow you feel. Please pray for God to surround you with his loving arms and bring peace back into your heart to heal the ache. I am sending you big hugs!!! Jazzy sends licks & hugs too...

06-05-2006, 11:43 PM	#24
Baby Blessing Our Blessings R Many Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the shelter of God's Loving Care. Posts: 3,095 Blog Entries: 1	Dear Deb, I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you are considering getting another yorkie, they definately don't replace the one we had to give up, but how blessed another one would be to have your love. When we lost Cassie, seven months ago today, it was one of the worst nights of my life, we loved her so much and the comfort she gave to Jack was unmeasureable in dollars and cents, no money in the world would we have taken for her but then God chose to take her and so with knowing where she went we must accept this and know all things work out accordingly to his will, this is our belief. I still cry hard and today was one of them but not really all in sadness but also for the gratefullness of having been blessed with her for all those many years. It was not easy financially getting Baby Blessing, when we found her we knew that God had a plan for us and it included getting her so we managed to do it. I know the pain you are feeling and will keep you in our prayers please let us know when you do get another, I think it is only a matter of time and you will, they are such a comfort, Baby Blessing really is to Jack and myself, she is helping us to cope, I don't think we will ever get over Cassie. I wish so many times I could hold her one more time but that day will come and it won't be just one more time it will be forever in eternity. God comfort you and help you through this, it will help you by coming to YT and sharing your feelings with others, so many many here know what you are going through and have been where you are now. Typed to you with all sincerity. Patti and Jack ~~Baby Blessing~~

06-06-2006, 05:40 AM	#25
Joeysmom No Longer a Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Buckley, WA Posts: 930	Patty and Corinne... Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm doing much better, but it's so odd for me to feel so down... I'm usually a very upbeat energetic person, and I just can't seem to get myself going. My mind is still pretty unfocused. We've had so many things happen to our family over the past 6 weeks or so, it's starting to wear me down. I don't know what I would do if I was one of those people with HUGE problems. 1. My son moved out 4/2 (the first to do so!), and we brought Joey home the same day. 2. 2 weeks later, my son lost his job. 3. The next day someone rear-ended my son while he was at a stop sign. 4. My youngest daugter's horse broke her leg while standing in the stall... we had to put her down.. it was a compound fracture in her upper leg. 5. The following week, my son was in another car accident, this one his fault! 6. Joey stopped stopped walking....etc. 7. We lost Joey, Friday the 26th, and yesterday, Mike's mom had to have stents put in two arteries....one had 100% blockage the other was 50%! Whew! It's gotta get better, though, right? My son is doing okay...lots of back pain. He's working as a horseshoer, but doesn't have the benefits he would have had if he had been able to keep the other job. Mom came through the surgery okay. And I AM looking for a puppy, but not sure we can fund it right now. I think more than anything I'm overwhelmed with everything that's going on. We also are going through major remodel in the house, we homeschool, and my daughter is turning 16 on Sunday. We're supposed to have a party for her, so that's stressfull too. Wah... I'm whining.... sorry! Just keep me in your prayers. I need to remember that God has my life in his hands and even though it seems like it's all spinning out of control, HE will bring me through this. I know I will be blessed with another puppy at the right time. And I sure want it to be the right puppy, so I'm trying to wait for God's timing on this. It's good to know so many are thinking of me and mine... Hugs to you all... deb

06-06-2006, 06:14 AM	#26
Chel Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2006 Location: Orlando, Fl Posts: 60	Deb, I know that I am new to YT, but I have been reading your story and I truely am sorry for your loss. As I read your last posting, I just stopped and said a prayer that God will provide you with the "Peace that Passess all Understanding" that only he can. It sounds as though you have a very strong family that loves one another deeply, this will help you ALL heal from the overwhelming blows that have impacted you all at the very core, your heart.... I hope that you will have a better day today... Hugs, Chel