What I want to know is...

[Joeysmom]

What do you do with your grief??? I miss Joey so much I can't stand it sometimes. I thought it would help to sit and read about what other people are going through, but It's just making me cry. I don't even know what to do with myself these days. I just sit here at the computer and look at pictures, or read stuff on this website. I have such a hole in my heart and I don't know how to shake this sadness off. It's been exactly one week since we had to let Joey go ( he had a broken neck). Part of me wants to replace him (though no one could take his place) and part of me is terrified to have another little dog. At least my labbies are huge and sturdy. But I really loved feeling Joey's soft little body on my lap and having him to hang out with me wherever I went. I just want to feel better, and be able to enjoy my memories of him. I want to be my normal cheerful self again... not only for my own sake but for my husband and kids. I feel so non-functional these days....

So how do you all (who've loved and lost) get through it?

deb

[cribal]

What helped with me is getting another pup. Some people don't like to get one right away but everyone's different. It helped me ALOT.
Crystal

[bchgirl]

Hi Deb....from one to another. I cried ALOT. It has been since March and I still miss Trace. He was my constant companion, literally....at work, at home, everywhere. I posted a thread when he died and while I liked all the comforting words people offered...sometimes it just upset me more. If I were to go and re-read it now...I would soon be in tears. I did get another yorkie...fairly shortly after....why it was so short is a long story...if you're interested, I'll search for the thread for you so you can read. Any way....Ramsey is not Trace, she has her own personality and antics...she's kept my mind off missing him and really helped with the grieving. I was much too busy with a baby again and they are so funny. You can't help but to smile or laugh.

Trace died in his sleep, I will admit everyone in my family has rudely awakened Ramsey at one time or the other.....because she's sleeping so soundly. I guess that is our secret fear....because we have all done it.

And again...time is a great healer....unfortunately it seems to crawl to a stop and doesn't go fast enough.

Hope this helps some.....take care ~~ And really consider another....I don't think you would regret it.

[Patti]

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is absolutely normal to feel that way and only time will heal your broken heart and I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will get better. I have lost 3 Yorkies in the past and it never gets easier you just have to go through the grief. I always went and got another baby to love and it helps but there were days when you look at the new puppy and say I love you but your just not ----. But it does help. Have you considered a little bigger Yorkie or a little older one? My other 3 Yorkies were 6 7 and 18 lbs and they never had any accidents so it just happens sometimes no matter what size they are. I will keep you in my prayers and remember everyone grieves in their own way and time.

[Joeysmom]

but my husband just wants to make sure I'm ready. He already said I need another one... but he wants to make sure I'm not on the "rebound"..that's how he put it. I think I will have to get a girl though, so I don't feel like I'm really "replacing" Joey. But it's only been a week, and I don't know... thanks for responding to my post....

deb

[Leehawnshee]

In a strange way you are making me feel less mental! I thought I was the only one sitting here day by day reading about other peoples yorkie babies when all I really want is mine back! Deb, I don't know what to tell you... I feel the same way, don't want to replace Milo, can't think properly, can't shake the sadness. All we can hope for is that it will get better - it has to right?

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by Joeysmom

but my husband just wants to make sure I'm ready. He already said I need another one... but he wants to make sure I'm not on the "rebound"..that's how he put it. I think I will have to get a girl though, so I don't feel like I'm really "replacing" Joey. But it's only been a week, and I don't know... thanks for responding to my post....

deb

Oh girl....guess how long it was between Trace and Ramsey? Off the top of my head....maybe 2 weeks...really. I just missed him so so badly, EVERYWHERE. Ramsey is not Trace's replacement...she's another to love. Her personality is so different from Trace's...not bad....just different and should there ever be another....that one would be different too.

We traveled to get Ramsey....because hubby told me...Deb, I just want you to be happy again. And having Ramsey made/makes me way happy....though I still miss Trace.

[Joeysmom]

Originally Posted by Patti

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is absolutely normal to feel that way and only time will heal your broken heart and I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will get better. I have lost 3 Yorkies in the past and it never gets easier you just have to go through the grief. I always went and got another baby to love and it helps but there were days when you look at the new puppy and say I love you but your just not ----. But it does help. Have you considered a little bigger Yorkie or a little older one? My other 3 Yorkies were 6 7 and 18 lbs and they never had any accidents so it just happens sometimes no matter what size they are. I will keep you in my prayers and remember everyone grieves in their own way and time.

I definitely want to get a normal size yorkie. I didn't choose Joey because he was tiny. Actually I wasn't even in the market for a yorkie yet... it was in my future plan. But my friend was sharing pictures of her babies, and I just fell in love with him. He was the runt of the litter and was a miracle baby... he survived by sheer will and the tlc of Jeanie. But he was extremely fragile and I won't put myself through that again... I know accidents can happen no matter what the size of the dog ( my poor hubby ran over our 6 yo sheltie some years back and he never got over feeling guilty about it). But with a tiny yorkie, you can't protect them from everything... least of all themselves. The best we can tell, he broke his neck when he tripped and fell either in the yard or on our gravel road. He didn't fall OFF of anything, just tripped on the grass once, and the gravel another time. Anyhow... I don't want to hash that all out again. Thanks for the encouragement. It really does help.

deb

[Patti]

When my baby Zorro passed away I lasted 3 days and started looking. My sister found a breeder who had 2 females and 2 males so we went and "looked". My sister knew I would fall in love so she brought 600.00 cash with her. When I fell in love with Gracie I said I don't have the money right now and my sister whips out 600.00. I paid her back but I will always rember how sweet that was of her. She knew I couldn't leave with out one.

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by Patti

When my baby Zorro passed away I lasted 3 days and started looking. My sister found a breeder who had 2 females and 2 males so we went and "looked". My sister knew I would fall in love so she brought 600.00 cash with her. When I fell in love with Gracie I said I don't have the money right now and my sister whips out 600.00. I paid her back but I will always rember how sweet that was of her. She knew I couldn't leave with out one.

Awww....that is so wonderful. Sissy wanted you to be happy again too.

[bchgirl]

Deb....here's my thread telling all my YT friends about Ramsey....see I didn't wait very long either...

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35459

[Patti]

I know Cali is small and I told my husband that I am so weary of worrying about her all the time. I love her to pieces but when they are smaller everything is harder. I am looking for another female who is bigger and same age as Cali. I am in no hurry but keep my eyes out. I promise it does get better.

[Chelsey]

It WILL get better, i promise! You will always "miss" them, but the pain will subside. We lost 3 yorkies, 1 in 1997 2nd in 1999 and 3rd in 2003...(they grew up together) for a long time i kept telling myself that i could never love again like i loved them, i guess i just was not ready, if you feel up to it and you want to get another baby than do it, everybody deals with it in their own way. What helped me alot was to talk about it to friends and family that understood how i felt. I will never forget the day we had to have our last yorkie go, my poor husband cried like a baby, he said he never wants to go through that again, but time is a healer, and now we very blessed with 2 beautiful little girls

[Joeysmom]

Originally Posted by Leehawnshee

In a strange way you are making me feel less mental! I thought I was the only one sitting here day by day reading about other peoples yorkie babies when all I really want is mine back! Deb, I don't know what to tell you... I feel the same way, don't want to replace Milo, can't think properly, can't shake the sadness. All we can hope for is that it will get better - it has to right?

Well, there certainly isn't anywhere BUT up, right? I think it does help to read about other people going through the same thing...not that it takes away the pain, but at least makes me not feel so alone. I DID email a lady that has some babies to find out about their sizes. I just don't know what hubby will say. We have to actually HAVE the money.

I read about your Milo and it really made me cry for you...

hugs...

deb

[Joeysmom]

Originally Posted by bchgirl

Deb....here's my thread telling all my YT friends about Ramsey....see I didn't wait very long either...

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35459

That's an AWESOME and hope-filled story... thanks for sharing it.

I know if it's the right time and God wants it for me, it will happen... I'm just gonna hang in there..


deb