Grieving

[Freado]

I am grieving over the loss of my 14 year old, sweet boy Freado. It will be one month, tomorrow, that he has been gone, yet it feels like forever. I have never felt such pain and loneliness in my life. Someone, please, please tell me that it will eventually get easier. I know it will never go away completely, and I wouldn't want it to, as he was my true heart and soul.

Thank you ~ B

[maxdog]

My heart goes out to you. I know the loss feels like the end of the world. You are right - the pain will never go away but speaking from experience you will learn to manage it. Everyone handles grief in their own way. Some people might bury themselves in their job. Others might want to volunteer at a shelter. Some may go get another furbaby. You will never heal completely buy time will ease your pain. My prayers are with you during this time of pain. Just keep in mind that Freado is now healthy and strong and waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge.

[sassyyorkies]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Freado. It is so hard to let our sweet little companions go. They are so very close to us and the void can be a lonely sad time. I know when I lost my Bree two years ago the grief would over take me at times. It just did'nt seem like I would ever get pass that time in my life. But as time passed I had to get another little one.Yes at first even adjusting to the new little boy wasn't so easy. But one day when I broke down in one of my grief moments he came over on the floor where I had crumpled. He kissed me and sat down as if he knew my heart. I was so amazed by his action we began to bond because he was so sensitive to my need. I do pray for the healing of your broken heart it might take sometime. Hold onto the precious times you two shared they will help you to come through this heart breaking time. By the way I still cry over my baby girl after two years have come and gone. I'm sending you a big hug we all need one every now and then.

[Silver Lace]

Thank you for coming here and sharing your grief for Freado with us as you have. I too have lost a sweet little girl of 16 years of age a couple years ago and it has gotten less painful through the weeks and months. I still hurt over losing her much but it is not as heartwrenching as it was and it will be the same for you. Bless you B and welcome to YT and share with us any time you feel the need.

[jshade]

I recently suffered the loss of my sweet friend, Milo (July). He was 3 and we adored him. He had acute pancreatitis and we were shocked by the suddenness of his illness and death. During this time, I have cried many tears and so has my husband. Through a series of coincidences, we ended up with a five year old Yorkie named Casey. While Milo was almost 20 pounds, this little one is 5 pounds. He truly rescued us from the depths of sorrow. I think about Milo every day and miss him beyond description but our new friend has been a Godsend. Not everyone can face getting a new pup right away but it helped us tremendously. The pain of Milo's loss isn't as crushing and our dispair has lessened. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is so sad for you. Spending time on this forum helped me a great deal. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Susan78]

I am so sorry to read about the loss of your baby. I been through it and it is a very hard thing to see your loved one pass on. I lost my first yorkie and had a hard time but went on to get another. Then she passed and I really took it hard but I always say remember those wonderful memories you had. I did not think of getting another and here I am now with my dear Kinder who is five years old now. It does get a little easier as time passes but your loved one will always be in your heart forever. Your baby knew he had a wonderful home of love and I am sure he will want you to be happy again. Treasure those good days and time will heal slowly. Take a day at a time. Susan

[Freado]

I truly appreciate all of your kind and thoughtful words. During my grieving time, I have come to two realizations... 1. I cannot expect myself to get over 14 years with the snap of a finger, and 2. I don't have anyone to talk to about this sadness that I am going through. Most of my friends still have kids at home, and although they may have pets, they still have children to raise. The ones who don't have pets, still have children to raise, but they have never had that pet bond. I always treated Freado as if he were my little human son. I never had or wanted children of my own, but married into a "ready-made" family, that included a wonderful and loving little four year old girl. I adopted her, have loved and taken care of her as my own. She is now in her last year of college. So for the last three years it was Husband, Freado and I. The three of us going everywhere together. When we remodeled our house, Freado went to countless showrooms and meetings with me. When Husband goes to work, Freado was my little shadow and companion when we were at home. Now I find that when Husband goes to work, I am really alone, and lonely. I know this is going to sound a little strange, but the last few years when Freado's health would be up and down, I would talk to him about him having a successor. I told him that she, "Franchessca", would be a little Biewer, but that I would never forget him, not in a million years. I hope to have that little fury bundle sometime in December or January. I will be looking for a breeder who has little ones in late September. Although I have a plan, I just need to get through these next few months, and hopefully during that time, find some peace in the thoughts that my little boy is gone. I know this has been a long post and I appreciate, once again, those of you who are out there helping those of us in here going through these hard times. ~ B

[Silver Lace]

Dear B,
Well,now you do have someone to talk to about the loss of your sweet friend Freado. Even though it may not be as good as actually talking face to face your are always welcome to come and talk to us about anything you are going through because of his loss to you.

[maxdog]

You will find that we are very good listeners here.

[Russpilot]

It always rips my heart out to come to this section, but there is no place on this whole site that speaks more to what these little personalities mean to us and how much they make our lives whole and rich. Love them every day that you have them, because one day, we will have to wait until we reach the bridge ourselves to see them again.

[Freado]

So, when Freado was little, meaning younger, not in size, we had a nickname for him "Nubbins". Where, when, or how, I'm not quite sure. Seems like one day, it just came out..."Hey, Nubbins!". Well, it stuck, and that was one of many of Freado's nicknames. Funny, when I looked up the word "Nubbins", not expecting to find the word in any dictionary, one of the definitions was..."a small lump or stunted piece; stub...". Who would've/could've known?! Freado was always fascinated with Pooh, yes as in the Disney character. How that came about, is another story! Anyway, I had a small stuffed Pooh Bear, just like his larger stuffed one that I would take with me on trips, when Freado couldn't go with us. Can you guess what its name was.? Well, of course, "Pooh Nubbins"! I have been traveling with that stuffed animal for years. Good, bad, or indifferent, Freado always slept in bed with us, and Pooh Nubbins would comfort me when Freado couldn't be there. Years later when Freado was having some troublesome health issues and I thought I might loose him, I had the foresight to have his paw bronzed. Not his real paw of course! However, if you press a paw into some white Play-Doh and ship it off to a company, they will make it into bronze, aluminum, or brass. Naturally, I had to have one of each! They engraved his name onto the back of each piece, and on two of them, they made a hole at the top, so it could be hung. I felt that one of these would be a perfect charm to hang off of a Thomas Mann infinity heart bracelet for Pooh Nubbins to wear as his neck jewelry. Together, paw and bear, when I had to travel without my Freado, I always felt like there was a piece of him with me. Since Saturday, July 25th, 2015, the day that my sweet Nubbins, Freado, had to leave me, a night hasn't gone by that I haven't slept with Pooh Nubbins and his neck jewelry.
~ B

[scrapindee]

So sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers.

[Freado]

I had my first vivid dream the other night, with Freado in it. The seen was set at my childhood home back in Texas. (I often wonder why people, places, and things from the past appear in our dreams.) We were leaving the house to go into the back yard through the sliding glass door and as we are walking through the short grass, a white bird, not very large, but with quite a large orange beak, tried to swoop down and attack Freado! Now Freado was about 10-11 pounds and there was no way this bird was going to pick him up, it was more like it wanted to peck him with that strange orange beak. Freado was just running around, not even noticing that he was in any danger. I kept swatting at the bird trying to get it to go away, but it was very persistent. Next thing I know, another bird, same kind shows up! The first bird kept flying lower and lower, and in true dream fashion, all of the sudden I was holding a broom, you know the kind with the wooden handle and straw bristles, and I was swatting at it. Well, finally one of my swats connected with that bird and stunned it to the ground! This is where it gets a little graphic, for those with week stomachs... Once again, in dream land where anything and everything is possible, I have an oversized ice pick in my hand and while the bird is down, I gently, no blood, push it through the bird, still no blood. Freado just sat there and watched, with that quizzical look on his face like he was learning something. Then the whole scenario happened all over again with the second bird. So, now we have two vicious bird bodies, still no blood, just laying there. I looked at Freado and said, "Well I guess we will have to bury them.?". I dug a hole, placed the birds inside, Freado watching me the whole time. As I was filling the hole, Freado started to play in the dirt! Now in real life, anytime I was working in the yard, which I loved to do and quite often, Freado would be close by in a flower bed and because we live in Florida with the hot sun, he would always find a shady place, dig around a little, just enough to move the mulch and lay in the cool dirt-sand. He would lay there with his head on the mound of mulch-dirt-sand and watch me with those big brown eyes and if I moved to work in a different area, he would too, and do the same routine all over again. Of course, when I was done in the yard, before going inside, I would have to go around all of the flower beds and put the dirt-sand and mulch back into place. I really miss those days... Now back to the dream. Freado was playing in the dirt, while I finished the makeshift grave. He was covered from head to toe in dirt and I just kept smiling because he was having so much fun! At one point, when I was done, he stopped and looked-up at me with those big brown eyes, I was just laughing! "Hey you, dirty dog, now we're going to have to get a bath!". He started to run around, like he used to when he was younger, the kind of running around that says, "come and chase me around the yard!". I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about! And that was it. The end of the dream. I didn't really know what I was supposed to get from this dream, but now after writing and reading this, I see a Mom protecting her Son, and the joy of playtime! But also the part about death...is it because Freado is now gone... It almost seems like this dream was just little bits and pieces of our lives together. At least, that's how I'm going to read it, because that makes me feel good and a little more peaceful about my little boy being gone. ~ B

[Freado]

Every day I shed tears over my sweat Son Freado...It's almost like I can't control it. I look at his picture, someone will say something, a thought or memory comes to mind, and I cry. I don't cry uncontrollable anymore, just tears and dead space. I had another dream about him the other night...It was just him and I. He just kept wanting me to give him belly rubs...he really, really loved that. October
25th will be the marking of only 3 months, and yet it feels like a lifetime that I have had the opportunity to hold him in my arms. Need I say more.?!
Thanks ~ Barbara

[lillymae]

I am so sorry for your loss. I think I can speak for most here on YT when I say that YES we understand exactly what you are going through. You never stop missing them but as time goes by it does get a bit easier to deal with & the sorrow turns into a smile whenever you think of them & remember their little antics. Maybe you should consider adding a new little bit of happiness into your life. One can never replace a lost loved one but I always find it easier if I get another pup to love & nurture & it has always helped the pain ease when you have something to distract you.