I truly appreciate all of your kind and thoughtful words. During my grieving time, I have come to two realizations... 1. I cannot expect myself to get over 14 years with the snap of a finger, and 2. I don't have anyone to talk to about this sadness that I am going through. Most of my friends still have kids at home, and although they may have pets, they still have children to raise. The ones who don't have pets, still have children to raise, but they have never had that pet bond. I always treated Freado as if he were my little human son. I never had or wanted children of my own, but married into a "ready-made" family, that included a wonderful and loving little four year old girl. I adopted her, have loved and taken care of her as my own. She is now in her last year of college. So for the last three years it was Husband, Freado and I. The three of us going everywhere together. When we remodeled our house, Freado went to countless showrooms and meetings with me. When Husband goes to work, Freado was my little shadow and companion when we were at home. Now I find that when Husband goes to work, I am really alone, and lonely. I know this is going to sound a little strange, but the last few years when Freado's health would be up and down, I would talk to him about him having a successor. I told him that she, "Franchessca", would be a little Biewer, but that I would never forget him, not in a million years. I hope to have that little fury bundle sometime in December or January. I will be looking for a breeder who has little ones in late September. Although I have a plan, I just need to get through these next few months, and hopefully during that time, find some peace in the thoughts that my little boy is gone. I know this has been a long post and I appreciate, once again, those of you who are out there helping those of us in here going through these hard times. ~ B |