Meika is gone, I am beyond devastated

[yorkiefan_]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

I'm glad you like her photos, it is helping me to remember her happy days. The flower photo is one of my favorites, I was sitting in the jacuzzi when she walked up with a flower in her mouth, and I just happened to have my camera nearby. I want to have the background photo shopped out and have the pic of Meika put on a canvas. I miss her loving eyes, her smile, and her bringing me flowers.

She had amazing hair but needed brushing twice a day, so I went to a much shorter cut. I loved watching her run in my daughter's big yard with all that hair bouncing and blowing in the breeze.

What a beautiful memory that I'm so glad you had immortalized with that so-sweet photo. I still think of things like that with Minnie all the time, and they make me smile now.

[Connie]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Meika, my precious girl rest in peace, and know how very much I love you.

When I first woke this morn, I thought of you. Breaks my heart. I love the pictures of Meika. The flower one was my favorite. Hugs to you.

[pink66]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful girl. I pray that you find comfort in your wonderful memories and pictures.

[wemple2]

Thank you Sandy for sharing Meika with us...what a beauty. Love the idea of having that photo put on canvas, it's my favorite...in loving memory of one precious angel. Hold the other 3 tighter tonight, they don't understand what has happened, but they know that mom needs some extra special love right now. I'm here, whenever you need to talk, to remember and to grieve. My heart still aches and the tears still flow...

[lillymae]

My heart breaks for you. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[alaskayorkie]

Just seeing this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't know Meika beyond pictures, but I know from your words that you loved her as much as any of us love our dogs. I can't imagine going through what you are. Sending strength, sympathy and hugging my dogs even tighter tonight knowing this could happen to any of us. May memories of Meika bring you comfort.

[kjc]

Beautiful photos... how sweet of her to bring you flowers!

[Lisa and Pic]

The pictures you have of Meika are just beautiful. What a happy memory about her bringing you a flower.

I wish I could carry some of the pain for you. But do know, that you are being thought about and sending hugs from the Midwest.

[MarkFromSea]

I'm so sorry for your loss Sandy. Sounds like Meika was wonderful. I'm in shock for your loss.

[Zoey Zendaya]

Originally Posted by lisaly

So many people have become attached to Meika after you shared her story with us. We share in the loss of your beautiful baby, and we are so saddened by her loss. If there were any words that could ease your pain, we would do it in a heartbeat. You already know that Meika will always occupy a soft spot in your heart filled with so much love and that we won't forget her either. Please know that we care and are here for you. I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious angel.

My sentiments exactly....Well said as I too have followed your journey and send my regrets and prayers .I have loved and lost too and feel for you. Your other babies feel for you too and know the loss. I find comfort in knowing that the time we are allowed blessed with a pet we give them our heart. When their day comes to cross that Rainbow Bridge they give US their heart and in knowing we loved and gave to each other makes it all worth it. Stay blessed in your precious memories and know they will grow stronger than the bad. Don't let the bad back in even for a second and God bless you and your family.
Kathy and Zoey and belated Lacey , gone for 15 years but never forgotten

[Harrysmum]

Oh Sandy, sorry I'm just seeing this now....


What a terrible, dreadful shock. My heart is bleeding for you, and I wish I could do something, anything, to help. You're in my thoughts and prayers, and a great big hug from across the ocean.

[MauiGirl]

Grieving is such a long hard journey, some days are a little better, then others are worse. It seems there is no right or wrong way to get through it, it is just a process to endure.

My moments of peace are often overcome with extreme sadness and frustration that I could not save her. It happened so fast, I heard her barking outside and went out to see what was up. Near the pool pump I saw a toad puffed up bigger than a baseball, then Meika ran out of the bushes and I saw the slime and foam on her mouth. I immediately knew what it was, and what to do; I grabbed her and hosed her mouth out. Then I brought her in the kitchen sink and washed her mouth and nose out even more, and called the emergency vet numbers. It was Sunday, all vets on my side of the island were closed and no one was near enough to come in, I had to drive her to the other side an hour away. I jumped in the car immediately. I was on the cell phone with 2 vets who said there was nothing else I could do except wash her mouth out and get her in to be flushed out with IV fluids.

My poor baby went limp and was struggling to breathe, I drove as fast as I could, and she died about 20 minutes into the trip. It happened so fast there was no way to save her. I brought her home wrapped in a blanket and held her for hours and sobbed, I just couldn't let her go. Monday I took her to be cremated, and will get her ashes back in 3-4 weeks.

I keep going over in my mind what could I have done different. I've spoken to 4 vets now, and they all say absolutely nothing. Small dogs don't stand a chance, and perhaps Meika's immune system was compromised because she was recently diagnosed with diabetes. She probably had the toad in her mouth and got a huge dose of the toxins.

I feel helpless to protect my other 3 pups who are only half the size of Meika. I can't let them out of my sight. I have a rash on my face where I must have gotten some of the toxic residue on me, even though I kept washing my hands. I have thoroughly cleaned sink, floors, car seat, and everything Meika might have touched, and threw away all towels and washcloths used. I have a crew of gardeners coming today to comb through all the bushes and yard to look for toads.

This is one of the hardest things I've experienced in my life.

I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to hear your words, I feel that I know each one of you, and that I am not alone, and that somehow I will get through this. One day at a time. I'm hanging on to my Tiki, Kayla and Karlee extra tight, as they are grieving too. You do the same with your pups because things can change in an instant.

I love you all, and am praying for peace to return to my heart and home.

[xFoxyx]

I dread coming into this section, knowing what it means. But, I also know the comfort we bring to each other in sharing our losses.

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Its just so heartbreakingly devastating. Sending you healing prayers. I am so sorry.

[yorkiefan_]

That was really hard to read, Sandy. It just makes me feel sick. It makes my heart break. It brings me back to what could have happened with Cookie when I was out back and heard her yelling like crazy on the other side of the yard only to run and see her about to bite into the toad she got into in late January. I guess Cookie and I just lucked out in that bufo marinus hasn't made it to the area yet (though they're in the Rio Grande Valley a couple hundred miles south of me ), and instead Cookie's toad was a less poisonous bufo speciosus. But it breaks my heart that you and Meika got the raw end of that luck, since the so-toxic bufo marinus (aka cane toad) is in Hawaii.

Chris

[yorkietalkjilly]

Such a shocking and awful narrative. I could feel your terror coming through and have made that trip with a dying dog to the vet late at night and just praying I could make it. It's the worst panic there is - to have something so vulnerable and beloved so ill right there by you and all you can do is drive and try to get help and try to keep from hurting others in cars or on foot. It's an awful, awful time and so horrible. I can't imagine what it was like when you lost her there in the car and then got to the vet. It's heartbreaking to read what she went through and what you saw. You did all that you could and did your very best for Meika. Life is rife with hazards and dangers and all we can do is pray they hit us only a few times during our lifetime but when the hit is fresh and so awful - it knocks you flat by the unfairness of it all.

You've been through the toughest of times before and likely will again and you've made it through somehow and I know you will get through this awful time with lots of help and time and God's grace. I know how incredibly tough you are and how detail-oriented you are so let the second thoughts and re-living the horror go as soon as it crops up and try to shut your brain down when that awful "movie" starts replaying in your mind. Every time it does, get up and do something else or call someone or do anything you can to stop re-living it, as "detail" type people tend to do. Detail-oriented people tend to obsess over the details of what went wrong and think over and over what could have been done differently. As there's nothing you can fix now about this tragedy, all you can do is help yourself out by not replaying the happenings in your mind, don't accept the voice of blame or guilt and keeping yourself sane and your babies protected. You really are so strong I know you will get through this and one day, times will get better. I'm so sorry and hurting for you and wish I could change what happened, Sandy. I'd do anything to make it go away.