[yorkietalkjilly]

Such a shocking and awful narrative. I could feel your terror coming through and have made that trip with a dying dog to the vet late at night and just praying I could make it. It's the worst panic there is - to have something so vulnerable and beloved so ill right there by you and all you can do is drive and try to get help and try to keep from hurting others in cars or on foot. It's an awful, awful time and so horrible. I can't imagine what it was like when you lost her there in the car and then got to the vet. It's heartbreaking to read what she went through and what you saw. You did all that you could and did your very best for Meika. Life is rife with hazards and dangers and all we can do is pray they hit us only a few times during our lifetime but when the hit is fresh and so awful - it knocks you flat by the unfairness of it all.

You've been through the toughest of times before and likely will again and you've made it through somehow and I know you will get through this awful time with lots of help and time and God's grace. I know how incredibly tough you are and how detail-oriented you are so let the second thoughts and re-living the horror go as soon as it crops up and try to shut your brain down when that awful "movie" starts replaying in your mind. Every time it does, get up and do something else or call someone or do anything you can to stop re-living it, as "detail" type people tend to do. Detail-oriented people tend to obsess over the details of what went wrong and think over and over what could have been done differently. As there's nothing you can fix now about this tragedy, all you can do is help yourself out by not replaying the happenings in your mind, don't accept the voice of blame or guilt and keeping yourself sane and your babies protected. You really are so strong I know you will get through this and one day, times will get better. I'm so sorry and hurting for you and wish I could change what happened, Sandy. I'd do anything to make it go away.