only a few weeks left with my lil boy

[iloverufus]

i stumbled upon this site when looking for yorkie breeders and decided to join in the hopes that others might know what i'm going through. my guy rufus was diagnosed with prostate cancer on 5/27/2010 and the doctor gave him 7-12 months and sadly that time is fast approaching. he begun having trouble walking, unable to put weight on one of his back legs and is always holding it up. we took him to our local vet who now said his prostate is greatly enlarged. he is going to his oncologist on thursday and we are prepared to hear it is his time. whether she says it or not, we know it is. he needs to wear a diaper in the day because he leaks pee and and within the last month or two he needs to wear a diaper at night bc liquid and feces come from him uncontrollably. i had a long talk with him last week and i finally understood that this is no longer the dog i spent the last 8 years with. he's a shell. he is just tired. knowing this doesn't make it any easier. he has been at points the only friend i had and my biggest worry is i will not love another yorkie. all i know is he will not be here come may and watching these days go down is the biggest heartbreak i've ever experienced. greater than the loss of my grandmother who actually died ON my birthday. that being bc her death was the most unexpected thing that could've happened and i had to deal with it at THAT moment. i couldn't go back. i didn't have any clue. this time is different bc i've seen this dog almost every day for 8 years since i was 14 and i've watched him go downhill the last 11 months. i dont mean to push my belief in god, but even as someone who's not an avid church-goer, but still a believer i asked god to give me a few things: strength, rufus' 8th birthday and if it was in the cards, give me his 8th anniversary with us which was march 15th. rufus was born on january 3rd. he gave me the strength but its fading as time comes closer, and he gave me the other two. thats all i asked for. not a cure or a miracle bc i accepted that wasn't going to happen. i don't feel guilty at THIS point, idk how i'll feel when it's over, but i feel such sadness and heartache, and i just want rufus to know i WILL be okay and i want to make him proud of me. thanks for listening.

[Breny]

I'm so sorry and your post has me in tears and I can only imagine how you must feel I know he knows you love him as much as he loves you.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry you are going thru this.

[Baroness]

I'm wishing you strength, I wish Rufus lots of love. I cannot even imagine what you are going through...My heart goes out to you, and I am sending you the brightest white light I can imagine. God Bless you...

[FlDebra]

I am so sorry you are having to face this with Rufus. I know it must be a very difficult time. Sounds like you have given him a loving and blessed life and he will leave you with some wonderful memories. I am thankful God granted your prayers and has given you strength so far and your two milestones with Rufus. I pray you will continue to be strong and always keep Rufus close in your heart and memory. For Rufus I pray a minimum of discomfort and that he understands the breadth of your love for him. God bless you both.

[yorkietalkjilly]

I am so sorry Rufus is so ill and his time is near. I know you are keeping him pain free and thank you for not letting him suffer. I will keep Rufus and you in my prayers and hope that your time of great grief is also filled with Rufus' love for you.

[DvlshAngel985]

I have no words of wisdom to share, I just wanted you to know my heart is with you and Rufus in this difficult time. Being a first tine dog owner, and having fallen madly on love with him, I can imagine what your heartbreak is and it has me in tears. If you ever need someone to listen, or feel lime you need to go somewhere where people will truly understand just how important Rufus really is to you, feel free to come back and post. We mint not be able to physically be there, but we are with you in spirit. May god continue to give you strength.

[EsmeeKimme]

welcome, I wish you and your lil one strength and comfort.

[luckylady]

Prayers & hugs are being sent to you & Rufus. There is no doubt in my mind of the love you feel for him and I am certain that Rufus knows it too. I saw my dog fade (more due to age in our case) & it too was difficult to watch. One morning when he barely had enough strength to get up, we knew it was time to say goodbye. Thouh it is one of the hardest things to do, you will get through it, and you will know when you are ready to give yor love to another lucky Yorkie.

[bettyeanne]

I am so terribly sorry. I cannot even imagine the pain in your heart. Please know that I am praying for you and your sweet Rufus. God bless you and heal your broken heart.

[kjc]

I am so sorry you and Rufus are having to go through this. It is so sad, my heart is breaking for you both. Sending prayers...

[chattiesmom]

My heart is aching for both you and Rufus. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers for strength and comfort. This post touches very close to home - we are dealing with "old age" issues with our elderly Boxer, Boo, who will be 15 on May 5th.

[Micah my love]

I am so sorry that you are going through this very difficult time.. may God bless you and give you the strength needed to get through it..Hugs to you both

[Patti]

I am so sorry. It sounds like Rufus will leave you with wonderful memories.

[Sammy Mommy]

I'm so very sorry that you are going thru this with your Rufus. Cherish every moment you have together and keep your precious memories of him in your heart. Sending prayers and hugs to you both.

[yorkieusa]

I'm sorry you are facing the loss of your beloved Rufus. My heart aches knowing what you are facing. It isn't easy. It is just one of those things in life that we must face if we love a little yorkie. You must know that Rufus knows he has been loved and cared for by your through these years and he will be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge.