only a few weeks left with my lil boy

[LunasMomma]

I'm so sorry Rufus is lucky to have such a loving owner and I know it must hurt so much to see him like this, and to have to let him go. But it's the most loving thing you can do for your little guy, so that he's no longer in pain My heart breaks for you!

No one knows when the right time is to get a new pet after losing one. You'll know when the time is right, follow your heart. A new companion will never replace your Rufus, but may help you to smile and lessen the pain just a little bit (I speak from experience). BIG hugs to you and your little man

[anniernc]

My heart is breaking you you and little Rufus and I'm sending prayers and hugs to you both. He knows that you love him dearly and that you will always carry a part of him in your heart.

[iloverufus]

thank u guys for ur support. it truly does help a little. since im working the final week of april i have a one week reprieve and it will most likely be the first week of may. i just want him to know how thankful i am for everything he's given and taught me - forgiveness and unconditional love and that i will be happy again.

[Mer]

I am so sorry you and Rufus are going through all of this. Thoughts and prayers being sent.

[Ringo1]

I'm so sorry for the decisions you must make for little Rufus. Since you have some time; try to do some special things with him that he loves (or used to love) and make his last days great ones.

Be kind to youself too.

[143julz]

My heart breaks for you. I wish you strength during this time.
i can tell how much Rufus is your world and what he means to you.
cherish the time you have left together and know we are here for you.

Kiss that little boy me

[iloverufus]

thanks guys for all your support it does help. i can feel myself being so selfish. i look at my babys pictures growing up and i look at him now and it's no longer the same dog. everybody says your dog will tell you and i keep waiting for him to tell me "you'll be okay, you can let me go," and i wind up getting frustrated bc i haven't felt that moment yet, and then having not felt it, if i put him to sleep, i feel guilty and if i wait too long i feel guilty. i just want him to know how happy he's mad me, and that another dog can make me happy too but that i'll never be as happy in the same way as i was with him. ive had rufus since i was 14 and those were very formative years in which u grow so much and the greatest gift i've found in reading a book is that u should try to figure out why ur dog came into ur life when he did and i'm so lucky i know the reason. i got him the end of 8th grade and i was a lonely kid and he got me thru high school all 4 years and sometimes the only friend i had. im blessed to know thats what his purpose for me was. and i can honestly say he's done his job above and beyond my expectations. the other comfort i find is not turning my back on god or my faith and everytime i feel weak i just turn to god and thank him for these 8 years. i dont ask why. i just say thank u for giving me the greatest gift anyone's ever given me. in october i had never felt weaker and i just turned myself to my faith, even tho i'm not an avid church goer and i just talked about how weak i was and how i just needed something to lift me up, and that's when i suddenly felt a power from above made me realize why this is happening now and when that dawned on me that i'll be moving out next year 3000 miles away to los angeles, now IS the right time so that i can get that closure, say goodbye. so it's not after i move and it's not right before i move and have it jeopardize my journey and make me not leave the nest bc i'm sad. it's just the right amount of time for me to heal b4 i proceed to the next chapter of my life without rufus. i so want to make him proud of me. he is the reason i am who i am today. i have great parents, but it's rufus who was always there. i read about ppl who 10 years later still are living 10 years prior and it makes me worry for their well being that they haven't healed and i dont want to be like that. i want to live my life happily with rufus knowing i can do that and it's bc of him that i can be happy again. i dont want to not love another dog. rufus may have not liked other dogs, but all he wants is for me to be happy. the hardest part is facing being in the room when it happens. that's whats killing me. i've had ppl tell me i shouldn't be there bc of my emotions and i've had ppl tell me they haven't and felt guilty. i dont want to abandon my dog and i dont want it to just be what's easier for me. after all he's been there for i know i should be but the thought of watching someone put my dog down rips my heart out of my chest with the fear of how do i live in that moment and what do i say to bring to a conclusion our life together. thank u for letting me rant and listen it really does help to speak how this is hurting me.

[Ringo1]

Originally Posted by iloverufus

thanks guys for all your support it does help. i can feel myself being so selfish. i look at my babys pictures growing up and i look at him now and it's no longer the same dog. everybody says your dog will tell you and i keep waiting for him to tell me "you'll be okay, you can let me go," and i wind up getting frustrated bc i haven't felt that moment yet, and then having not felt it, if i put him to sleep, i feel guilty and if i wait too long i feel guilty. i just want him to know how happy he's mad me, and that another dog can make me happy too but that i'll never be as happy in the same way as i was with him. ive had rufus since i was 14 and those were very formative years in which u grow so much and the greatest gift i've found in reading a book is that u should try to figure out why ur dog came into ur life when he did and i'm so lucky i know the reason. i got him the end of 8th grade and i was a lonely kid and he got me thru high school all 4 years and sometimes the only friend i had. im blessed to know thats what his purpose for me was. and i can honestly say he's done his job above and beyond my expectations. the other comfort i find is not turning my back on god or my faith and everytime i feel weak i just turn to god and thank him for these 8 years. i dont ask why. i just say thank u for giving me the greatest gift anyone's ever given me. in october i had never felt weaker and i just turned myself to my faith, even tho i'm not an avid church goer and i just talked about how weak i was and how i just needed something to lift me up, and that's when i suddenly felt a power from above made me realize why this is happening now and when that dawned on me that i'll be moving out next year 3000 miles away to los angeles, now IS the right time so that i can get that closure, say goodbye. so it's not after i move and it's not right before i move and have it jeopardize my journey and make me not leave the nest bc i'm sad. it's just the right amount of time for me to heal b4 i proceed to the next chapter of my life without rufus. i so want to make him proud of me. he is the reason i am who i am today. i have great parents, but it's rufus who was always there. i read about ppl who 10 years later still are living 10 years prior and it makes me worry for their well being that they haven't healed and i dont want to be like that. i want to live my life happily with rufus knowing i can do that and it's bc of him that i can be happy again. i dont want to not love another dog. rufus may have not liked other dogs, but all he wants is for me to be happy. the hardest part is facing being in the room when it happens. that's whats killing me. i've had ppl tell me i shouldn't be there bc of my emotions and i've had ppl tell me they haven't and felt guilty. i dont want to abandon my dog and i dont want it to just be what's easier for me. after all he's been there for i know i should be but the thought of watching someone put my dog down rips my heart out of my chest with the fear of how do i live in that moment and what do i say to bring to a conclusion our life together. thank u for letting me rant and listen it really does help to speak how this is hurting me.

Only you can decide if you should be in the room with him. And you should not feel guilty if you decide it is just too much for you.

Despite the efforts of my Vet and my friends to convince me otherwise; I chose to be in the room with Casper, my little Maltese. I was a crying mess and I probably stressed EVERYBODY out including Casper. I relived that moment over and over, for a good while after. It all happened so quickly; much more fast than I thought. There did not appear to be any pain .. . he just went to sleep.

I think I would do better today; having been in that moment once before, but it sure is hard and I don't think it's for everyone. So don't let people tell you that you SHOULD do it. Only YOU and YOUR VET know that.

You obviously love your dog ~ so try not to feel guilty because you are making your decisions out of love. I will caution you that guilt seems to come along with any death; but try not to let it if you can.

I feel tears in my eyes reading your post and I feel the hurt in your words. Please take good care of yourself and I hope you have friends and family around you right now.

[salazark]

I read your other thread, looked at your album and read this thread. Bless you. This is the most painful, thoughtful and unselfish decision you will have to make. I've been there. There's guilt - any time that you have to play God and decide that it's time. But time will heal you and help you understand that what you are doing is the ultimate unselfish gift that you have to give to Rufus. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Karen

[MauiGirl]

I am so sorry for what you are facing with Rufus. The love you have shared with him, will go on and on; nobody can take that away from either of you.

You will be giving him the greatest unselfish gift when you set him free of the broken down body he is now in, and let him rest in peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you near that day.