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09-25-2008, 09:16 AM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Indiana
Posts: 144
| Losing my Jackson I know this probably doesn’t go on this forum, but I have met so many nice people from this site, and don’t have many friends who understand the bond between a person and their pet. In 2000 I bought a poodle (Jackson) from a breeder in Lexington / Underwood, Indiana named Nona Schindler, her kennel was named Briarwood. My father had bought 2 of her dogs, and my brother had purchased one. They were AKC registered poodles. The first couple years for each were good years. Then each of them began to show problems, such as: luxating patella’s, enlarged hearts, trachea problems, fluid in their lungs, seizures, hip displacia. The vet asked me repeatedly who I got Jackson from, I wouldn’t tell him, I thought she was super nice, and didn’t want to get her into any trouble, he told me she had bred the dogs down so small this was a major part of their problem. Now that I’ve read on here, as well as other research, I see that I believe she was running a puppy mill. She has stopped breading poodles, now breads Chihuahuas I’ve been told. She would never let us come to her house, she insisted on vaccinating them up til they were a year old, she met us in parking lots, with the dogs when we first viewed them, then for each of their vaccinations. Jackson after having his 2nd year vaccinations began having seizures, the carried on throughout his life. He had a luxating patella, actually 2. We had the first repaired the week of Christmas 2005. 6 months later we were to have the other one repaired. He died in April of ’06. At only 6 years of age. I had put him in bed as always, and gone to the kitchen to get my glass of water and his cup. I heard something, when I got to the bedroom, he was on the floor, his tongue was purple, and he was limp. I called every vet in this community (I live in a very small town), and not one of them would answer or return my call. Needless to say, I lost him that night. My life hasn’t been the same since; I still miss him so much every day. I now have Smoky, he is my first Yorkie, and NIGHT AND DAY different than Jackson, it took us a while to adjust but we are good friends now. I’ve attached a “blog/poem” I wrote, my friend told me it was silly and rambling, but I think it helps to talk/write about things like that. I’m sorry this is so long.. But I have met so many nice people on here; I just felt that if I shared it would help. Thank you! Jackson was my 5 lb chocolate poodle. He was born August 26, 2000. He was taken from me April 30, 2007. In that short period of time we went through many things. You were always there for me and made me feel that everything would work out. From the moment I saw you in the Wal-Mart parking lot – To the moment I held your lifeless body in my arms, I had never felt the kind of companionship we had. You were my best friend. I will miss you everyday for the rest of my life. I can only thank you for the precious time you gave me and hope – I made you feel as loved and protected as you made me. I have never heard of a pet being as quirky as you, Jackson. You let me know you were tired of company – by turning your head, and ignoring them. You buried food and treats all over the house. The trick we taught each other – "Momma loves you". I'm so very sorry for the things you didn't like; The doorbell at Ashby - the Dominos commercial – the tile at Ferguson. I'm so thankful we made it back home before you had to go. You made me laugh, cry, feel safe and needed. After your surgery in December 2006, I spent the week at home with you – Every moment – wanting to do anything to make you feel better. Every day I think of what I would have done differently – If I'd known that day was our last. Since you left me, I have cried more tears than ever imaginable. I never thought you'd be gone so soon. I took our time for granted. I miss you hogging me out of the bed, You were determined I was going to hold you – no matter what I was doing. But when those baby browns stared up at me – I melted. I get so angry at you sometimes for leaving me here. Then I get angry at myself. I still needed you. I still need you. But when I make myself thing about it – I know your little body was letting you down. I wonder if there was anything in this world I could have done – Baby, I need you to know – I would have done it – no matter what! Jackson, you are in my heart forever – There isn't a moment that passes that I don't think about you. I love you my friend and I always will. You have been gone almost a year now, it has taken me this long to finish writing this, and able type it. I still have a broken heart – like I've never known. I love you little one – and always will! Last edited by pinkhouses86; 09-25-2008 at 09:19 AM. |
Welcome Guest! | |
09-25-2008, 09:20 AM | #2 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member | Oh sweetie I am so sorry...as someone who has loved and lost a pet...I completely understand. He isn't gone, you know...he lives forever in your heart. God bless Jackson and Smoky too.
__________________ Deb, Reese, Reggie, Frazier, Libby, Sidney, & Bodie Trace & Ramsey who watch over us www.biewersbythebay.com |
09-25-2008, 09:26 AM | #3 |
No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 16,218
| Your poem was a beautiful memorial to your beloved Jackson. He was super cute. Your right, only an animal lover would understand the bond between a human and an animal. I am so sorry for you loss and hope your broken heart heals soon. Remeber all the wonderful memories the two of you have made together and find peace in recalling them. R.I.P. Jackson Good luck with your new little one. You found a site that really cares. Hugs, |
09-25-2008, 09:27 AM | #4 |
Blessed by Otis & Ollie Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Plainfield, Indiana
Posts: 2,884
| I completely understand too. I lost my first yorkie in 2003. I still think of him every day. I'm sure you will remember Jackson fondly, for the rest of your life!!
__________________ ~Paula~ proud mommy of ~Otis (yorkie) & Oliver (shih-poo) |
09-25-2008, 09:29 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: S. W. Suburbs of Chicago, IL
Posts: 12,235
| I am so sorry that Jackson went through so much in his short life. He will forever be in your heart to love and remember. You are a very special person to have taken such good care of him while he was here
__________________ “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Mark Twain |
09-25-2008, 09:30 AM | #6 |
Slave to My Rug-Rats Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Long Island
Posts: 7,247
| Sending you a big hug from your baby ...that was the most precious thing I have ever read |
09-25-2008, 09:33 AM | #7 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Indiana
Posts: 144
| Thank you all SO much! |
09-25-2008, 09:57 AM | #8 |
Mommy To 3 Poochies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New York
Posts: 8,287
| OMG I am balling my eyes out (seriously). I lost a little one and I know the pain you're talking about. I still miss my little girl so much. Rest in peace my precious Katie.
__________________ Mommy Loves Codie, Tia & Baby Cali RIP My Precious Katie - I Love You |
09-25-2008, 10:15 AM | #9 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Oh I can feel your pain so clearly. You and Jackson had such a bond. He was an absolute darling cutie. He'll always be in your heart. Rip little Jackson, and I pray that your heart will heal in time and you alway remember the happy days you had with your baby. (((HUGS)))
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
09-25-2008, 10:39 AM | #10 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | I am so sorry that you lost little Jackson way too soon. Some of these babies come into out lives for a short time but in that time leave such love in our hearts. Your poem was very touching. Hopefully Smokey will help ease the pain.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
09-25-2008, 11:08 AM | #11 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Florida/Canada
Posts: 5,514
| I so feel your pain, what a tribute to such a darling baby..I love when people can put their heart on paper.. I was not really very good at sharing those feelings..thank you for doing so.. and making me feel what I felt. I also lost two at a young age.. it still breaks my heart, and I so think of them and do not think much time goes by that they are not forever instilled in my mind. people ask me why I so care and protect my babies, and that no one can do as good a job as myself.. my answer to them is, lose one at a young age twice and ya know those kisses in the morning you did not allow.. and only at night.. well I now get kisses when ever they choose.. for as much as I love them.. I am so not a morning person to be woken with kisses.. well now they kiss, I roll over and have just learned to go back to sleep.. there are many many people who do not understand my love and how deep it is.. I do not even think my husband knows the extend of it sometimes.. although when I leave him with them.. I have to run by everything with him to remind him..he looks at me and laughs.. like he does not live in the same house.. cannot help it.. we just end up this way, making sure it never happens to us again., anne |
09-25-2008, 11:16 AM | #12 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: TX
Posts: 3,358
| I'm still dealing with the loss of my little Annie B in March. I know your pain and don't let anyone tell you it's silly "because he was just a dog". People who say that are to be pitied, because they have never known what true, absolute, unconditional love is. We do, and we are better for it, even with the pain, we are better for having had them in our lives. Hugs to you, let Smoky help to heal the pain, he will you know, if you just let him. Miss you every day little Annie
__________________ If you think dogs can't count, put 3 biscuits in your pocket, then give him only 2. Gracie Ruth & Boo & Yogi & RIP Annie B. & Bonnie Lane |
09-25-2008, 11:23 AM | #13 |
Bailey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NC
Posts: 1,553
| I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes a long time to get over losing a beloved pet like that but my prayers are with you. I'm glad you have another one to love.
__________________ Shirl and Bailey |
09-25-2008, 11:49 AM | #14 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Canada
Posts: 3,617
| I am so sorry for your loss . You are in my thoughts . |
09-25-2008, 11:57 AM | #15 |
Mimi & Gabby too! Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Vineland, NJ
Posts: 3,208
| I am in tears right now. I can feel your pain. I too lost my baby over a year ago and I still cry for her. I too think about what if...what if I did something different..would she still be here with me. I know God needed her and it gives me comfort in knowing she died when I was with her...with the person she loved. I can't even type anymore cause I can't even hold back the tears. I'm so sorry (hugs) |
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