My Natalie Is With The Angels....

[kalina82]

I'm so sorry about Natalie RIP little angel

[a_jgonzalez]

I am so sorry for your loss, take comfort in that she is in a better place and there is nothing that can hurt her.
so sorry your heart must be aching.

[Connie]

I am so sorry to hear this terrible news. What a shock for you and for all yt'ers. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I'll pray for you and send heartfelt hugs. RIP sweet, precious Natalie.

[crb]

Oh Dena...I am just now hearing about this...I am so sorry for your loss. I know you loved Baby Natalie so very much, as we all did. And I know she felt your love in every glance, every hug and every kiss you gave her. I am so shocked as I thought she was doing so much better. We all loved seeing the videos and pics showing her progress. Although she was a fighter, I guess it was just too much for her little body. I am so happy that you were there with her in the end, you will always have that and all the precious times you spent together. My heart is breaking for you.

Rest in Peace sweet little Angel Natalie.

[ryorkies]

Dena, words cannot begin to express my sadness and I cannot believe that Baby Natalie has gone on to Rainbow Bridge.
I am so very sorry and I wish that I could be there to give you a hug,
Please know that we are all thinking of you and sending you prayers for peace and healing.

[Grayson's mom]

I am sorry for your loss

[laurenr]

Oh Dena,
I have not had access to a computer for days, just logged on now to receive a message from Sheilagh about Natalie's passing. Oh my dear friend, my heart bleeds for you, for the pain you had to endure on what should have been such a joyous day - Christmas with loved ones and your precious little furbabies, Natalie whom had gained weight, who seemed to be winning the battle she had fought so hard.
Dena, please take comfort from the fact that you did everything and anything to save Natalie. You gave her such love, such devotion, such care in her short life. Take comfort too, that she was in your arms when she passed, as if she had waited for her Mama to come home, before taking her last breath.
Even as I type these words, trying to focus my eyes through my tears, I still find it hard to believe. It was just a few days ago that you sent me those adorable pictures of Nat and now, they will be even more precious to me than before. I'm looking at them now, trying to wrap my head around the enormity of this loss to all of us here that loved, cherished and cared so much about this precious little Angel.
Please know Dena, what a special, special place Natalie had in my heart. I wish I could reach through the screen right now and put my arms around you to comfort you. Be proud, my friend, for all that you did for your beautiful Angel Natalie. Every day with you, was a day filled with love and joy for her.
With so much love; Rest in Peace my sweet girl,
Lauren

[girdygirl]

Dena, I saw this thread last night and it just made my heart hurt for you and your family. We know how much you love little Nat and we all feel the same way about her here at YorkieTalk. It is such a shock, I can not believe it. I'm so sorry for you.( wish I never saw this thread ) you made her short little life so much better. I'm going to miss the pictures and updates about her. How is Gracie doing?

[SevenGirl]

How heartbreaking!!! This must be such a difficult time for you. Our prayers are with you.

[YorkieMom55]

Dena, I'm so sorry. Natalie was such a special little one. What a gift it was for her to have you as her mommy. Prayers of comfort for you.

[Mom2BabyNatalie]

It is still with such a heavy heart, I sit here this evening..... but I needed so badly to acknowledge the kindness and compassionate words you all have shared with me.

Please forgive my not yet responding to individual PM's and emails... I've just not had the strength to put my feelings into written words.

So many of you have become the dearest of friends to me, even with never having met - and I can't tell you how comforting it is to have this "safe place" to grieve for the loss of my angel.

Unfortunately, I have not handled Natalie's passing well at all. I have become physically ill - throwing up almost constantly over the 24 hours following the loss of my little girl, I had become dehydrated... and evidently my nerves have completely left me - as I had to make a run to the emergency room yesterday for an epinephrine shot to control the massive outbreak of hives over EVERY inch of my body... (which didn't help much, as I'm still red welts from head to toe) and an 2 bags of IV fluids, along with Phenergan to control the nausea and a script for some kind of "muscle relaxers".

I haven't slept - eaten - or even gotten out of my pj's since I lost her. My eyes have swollen almost shut three times with a combination of the hives and the tears....

It has just been so hard for me to accept that she's gone.... she was doing so well and I suppose I had convinced myself that I would have yet, many beautiful years to care for her.

I still don't know what happened..... and I'm sure that's the one of the hardest parts... the "not knowing" and the "If only I had..." and just the sheer guilt of not being with her to prevent whatever it was that took her from me.

I rarely spend a moment away from her, but the weather has been so bad and with holiday chaos to endure, I just felt it best that she stay at home whenever I had to go out this past week.

We had taken the kids to their dad's for the Christmas break from school.... (so thankfully, they were not here when Natalie passed.... I've yet to tell them - - I don't know how I will.... )

Having been in her playpen while we were gone - tucked in with her little Snuggle-Safe heat disc, wearing her pj's, and having eaten her dinner like the piglet she had recently become... I can't imagine what could have gone wrong! She had her albuteral inhaler in the morning and wasn't due for it again until 10pm.

She had still been having a few "attacks" with regard to her breathing, but had learned to "comfort and calm herself" through them.... she'd rest a little longer than normal after each one, but then would be back to bouncing around in no time.

By the time I got to her, she was lifeless - with only the shallowest of breath to sustain her. I of course, LOST IT.... running around with her in my arms, crying hysterically and gathering myself to get her to the ER..... we never made it to the door.

Though it was only a few brief moments before she let go.... it was hours before I could bear to put her down.

Thinking back on it, I must have looked like crazed fool..... crying... and rocking her.... whispering to her..... ugh, it was the worst heartache I have EVER experienced in my life.... it has yet to leave me....

Being Christmas night, it would be the next morning before we could get my precious girl to the Pet Memorial Gardens for cremation, where she lies at this moment..... needless to say, my mind was wild knowing that her tiny little body would be with me for so long - and when I finally put her down, I couldn't again touch her.... I didn't dare....

I curled her up in her best pink satin-lined cuddle blanket.... put her tiny little pink stuffed puppy in her arms and under her chin (like she always slept with it) and tucked her into one of the Christmas boxes she had opened - that was full of gifts just that very morning.... The box is covered in teddy bears and snowflakes..... she looked like she was sleeping and I can't tell you how very hard I prayed and prayed to God, that she would wake up......

This morning I took down her playpen.... put her clothes and toys away.... and cried some more.

I'd sit down to respond to this thread..... then read some of the loving words you all have written.... or receive an email or PM...... and cry some more...... not able to respond.

In the mail yesterday, came the YT calendar..... with Natalie's picture - and all of the beautiful faces I have come to adore here on YT..................... again, I cried for my baby....

Today in the mail...... Natalie's satin nighties from Des at GoFetch.... and her dresses from Shana at Tinkerbell's Closet....................... more crying.
(And Shana, I so wanted to wish you and precious Tess all the best and a Happy Birthday to your sweet darling! - - Even in all of this, know that I was praying and checking the board for news of an easy delivery and a healthy little girl.... congratulations to you all!!)

I'm not sure how I'm feeling tonight........... I'm still angry.... empty.... and quite lost without her....

Gracie, Cessy and the others are upset with me.... and I know it's awful, but I can't bear to comfort them.... I'm thankful that they have each other right now.

I've lost pets in my life.... even family and friends.... as I'm sure all of you have shared the same ...................... I can't explain why my heart is feeling so many more emotions with the loss of sweet Natalie, but I just can't seem to come to terms with it.

"Time heals".... I know...... so I suppose.... I'll wait....... until then.... I'll cry some more.

Thank you all for being out there, for understanding and appreciating what has to be - - and for knowing that "this too, shall pass".................... I pray that it does so quickly....

I am trying to occupy myself with a video memorial to Natalie.... it's rather lengthy and you've all likely seen most of the images before.... but it will comfort me to share it.

I'll put it here when I finish, if I can... otherwise, in the video thread.

Much love my friends....................... hold those little fur-angels a little closer tonight!

~ Dena ~

[Oscar's Mom]

Oh Dena...I am just so, so, so sorry...my heart just breaks for you.

[Rusty's Momma]

Dena,
Bless your heart. Try to rest easy, you know we are here for you. That pic of Natalie you posted is just precious....
Get some rest and we will all be here when you are ready to get "back involved" in YT the way you usually are.
Angi

[yorkiesmiles]

Dena, It's good to see you post. Please continue to take time for yourself, we'll be here waiting when you need us. I'm praying for you. May you soon find the peace you need and the ability to celebrate the love of all your other furbabies. You are stronger than you realize. Hugs & prayers

[scrappysmom]

I"m so sorry my heart just breaks for you.