Yorkies & Divorce

[Shelby&Seymour]

I suggest... in a calm "willing to work with" voice, explain your concern with many children in a household that the Yorkies may just be "underfoot" a whole lot, and that you are willing to take them if he finds that they are just too much with such a busy household. ................ then wait....... you may be surprised.
You can also express how much you will miss seeing them and because they will be so far away , if you could pick them up for a week now and then.

Try the "Kill with kindness" effort first. Sometimes it really helps .... plus put the ball in HIS court.

If that don't work..... maybe his new wife may be more cooperative... Just don't freak out and start yelling/crying/etc...... it definitely would be a negative. Kind, not demanding words. (You really don't have much more that you could do..... because he has had the dogs for awhile already)
Good luck! Will be keeping you in my thoughts.

[Akhong]

I think you should definately ask your ex first for the dogs. If he refuses, you should go the safe route and seek legal advice and see what your options are for getting your babies back.

BEST of luck with whichever decision you make!

[crb]

Were the furbabies registered? Under who's name?

I agree you should try to calmly talk with him and/or girlfriend. Of course if he is moving in with the girlfriend and her kids, I'm sure they have all met the furbabies and have probably fallen in love with them, after all who can resist a yorkie face. And as you have said he has fought you on matters concerning the babies, more so than concerning your son. So it may come down to legal action and who the babies are registered under.

Good Luck!

[zoeybear]

It sounds like your ex can be a very dangerous person. I know how attached we can get to animals, but you can not continue put yourself in danger. I would not provoke him. I think you are blessed that he doesn't "fight" to see your son. It is probably better if you limit any contact you and your son have with him. You have a new beginning. Get a new puppy that you and your son can raise together. I know it is hard to let go of something you loved. An ex or a pet, but you have to look toward the future, let go of your past and build a new, better life for you and your son. I think if you have the time and space for a new puppy it could be very healing. Wishing you the best!

[bellaismybaby]

I think it all comes down to what kind of relationship you have with your ex. If you think you have a chance of him giving them to you without a fight then talk to him rationally and see what he says. If not, then you may be in for a fight.
When you bought your babies whos name in on the contract?? Whos name is on the registration?? Are you ready and able to go to court?? I'm not sure of the law, but I think animals are community property and since you left them the court may award him custody or split them up. I understad how you feel...when they were near and you could visit them you were content, but now it's another story. I wouldn't want my babies around 6 kids no matter how good they were.
I wish you luck!

[dreaming_angel]

God Bless You and be with you through all your troubles. I am sure what is best for you and your son will all work out in the end. There has been a lot of advice given to you here, but in the end you know your ex and how he may react to certain situations, so you will have to make that final decision. What you would think is the best way to approach him with this. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope your new life brings many blessings your way.

[sadiesamie]

I Lived In A Condo When I Got Both Of My Yorkies And I Used A Tie Out That I Staked Into The Yard. The Stake Was In The Yard And I Had 2 Tie Outs (one For Each Dog) They Were Light Weight For My Little Girls... And I Left Each Tie Out Right Outside The Door And I Just Hooked Them Out Each Time.

The Tie Outs Were Approximately 25 Ft In Lenght And Plenty Long Enough. I Bought Them At Petsmart. There Didn't Even Get Tangled Up Easy. And If They Did- They Came Undone Very Easy.

I Left The Tie Out Near The Door And Sometimes Inside The Screen Door So That I Could Easily Hook Them Outside.

Now- It Was not Clearly As Easy As Opening A Door To Let Them Outside. BUT.....My Dogs Got Used To "How Far" They Could Go Out On These Immediately and they worked VERY WELL.

Don't Think That Because You Don't Have A Fenced In Yard You Cannot Have Your Dogs At Your Place!!!! I Did It For 7 Yrs. it was not a problem at all!

I Since Then Moved... And now i have a back yard fenced in for them -but the tie outs were fine. i always made sure the tie out was secure too.

gosh! 6 Kids Is Too Much For Your Dogs To Be Around.. further more!!!
They Could Get Hurt So Easily (your Dogs) i think sometimes 1 Small Child Is Too Much To Be Around A Small Yorkie! i would tell him that yorkies are not good around that many kids... and if possible you will make arrangements and keep them with you. how big is your yard at the condo? do you have a tiny little back patio or anything like that? if you don't it's probably not a big deal- ask you neighbors if you all share the same yard or if there is even a yard?

we walked our dogs too each time we took them outside before my husband said hey- i wonder if tie outs would work...


the tie outs you can get at Petsmart. They make them for small dogs so the the actual tie out part is lightweight and not be too heavy for them. yorkies are small dogs and they don't need thick cable at all. they will maybe cost You 8.00 Each or so.

Tell Your Ex That You Would Like The Dogs Back Since You Are Going To Be So Far Apart From Them and 6 kids is too much for them to constantly be around.

My Sister Went Though This With Her Boyfriend When They Broke Up- She Took The Dogs And Went To My Moms. To Be Honest With You- The Cops Could Care Less... He Wanted The Dogs Back And Left My Sister Voicemails On Her Cell Phone That She Let The Police Listen To And She Was Not Giving In. Well They Since Got Back Together So Who Knows What Would Have Happened In The Long Run... you can go to court over them to though especially if they are in your name.

you can do this with tie outs!! you eventually will get a place with a yard and if you don't... they so what....it's not a big deal and it definitely is NOT impossible to do. we lived up north and dealt with blizzards and buried icy tie outs and we made it work. :-)

and as far as leaving them alone all day... my girls (unfortunately) are left for 11 hrs straight. they have their own room (in the front of our house) my husband made them doggie stairs so they can get up and down easily on the couch to see out the window. :-) and each morning i play the radio and open the blinds so they can get up on the couch to see outside. i leave their food and water out. we tore out the carpet in that room and put down wood floors (pergo plastic wood stuff) and rugs so that if they have any accidents we can easily pick up the rugs and wash them.

sometimes they leave presents... sometimes they don't. we live in texas and we don't have any of our close friends or relatives to help with letting them out during the day. and to tell you the truth... my two girls sleep all day long :-) and trust me i hate to leave them alone all day! - one day i hope to work closer to home (especially as they get older) so i can come home like on a lunch hour to check on them. but regardless..... i would never part with my girls.

i really hope it works out for you and you can get them back with you.

[sadiesamie]

i also think that if the court "knew" why you had to leave them them after what he did to you.... they would understand completely. don't be afraid to fight for your rights. he's the one with problems not you...

[Tinkerbelle1]

Originally Posted by celstu1

Ive seen this happen before... this loving, supportive environment turn the wrath on when they dont like what they hear. Noone EVER needs to EXPLAIN their personal decisions to anyone else on the INTERNET! If you feel you need to know more about someone before you can support them, then DON'T post at all. That way noones feelings get hurt even more.

YorkieMom2 - did you ever make a deal with your ex that youd get the dogs back when you were ready for them? Was the solution of them staying with him assumed to be forever? Maybe you can talk to your ex husband into going in on a new pup for you and letting him keep your other babies. I know its going to hurt you so much to let them go and possibly not see them very often if at all... but it may be better for you emotionally to deal with the loss of them than with the emotions of dealing with your abusive ex husband in a 'custody battle'.

I wish you all the luck in the world, this is a tough situation! Id hate to be in your shoes and my heart goes out to you! I think 2 tiny Yorkies mixed in with 6 kids is a bit dangerous! Tell your ex that!

Ultimately unless you want to share you personal information you should not be compelled to. You know what you want to do in your heart of hearts and no one can make that decision for you. I cannot give you any advice as I have never been in your situation. I can offer you my support and someone to talk to. I hope that things work out for you and your daughter and your furbaby's. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Jay

[SophieRose]

Originally Posted by YorkieMom2

I feel like I am getting pounced on becasue I "left" them. The reason I left them is because I was in the hospital with a broken neck and a 9 hour surgery because of my husbands actions. When I left the hospital, I didnt go back to my home. My parents did all they could to help me, but who was going to take care of my dogs while my parents were in the hospital with me.

I just wanted to make it clear that I didnt leave them by choice.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

You do not have to tell everyone your personal business ie surgery, etc. Life is not "black or white" and you made the right decision at the time for your pups plus yourself. I can understand your concern about five kids and the safety of your pups. Distance involved to see them and the uncomfortable setting that is involved with his girlfriend.

Try to talk to him in a rationale tone and it doesn't matter what happened yesterday, but today. Good luck

PS I am sure no one intentionally set out to hurt your feelings.

[sweetr72]

I would try through court to get them while you can!!

When my ex and I separated (a bad bad relationship) I couldnt take my cocker with me and he said he would keep her until I found another place to live as this was a temporary arrangement...within weeks he GAVE her to a friend of a friend!! I contacted the friend and told her that she is mine and that I want her back when I find a house...she said no way and I lost her completely...I hear that she is well taken care of and 7 years old now...but boy did I cry..you never know..the new woman might hate having them around with all those kids...but you can STILL fight it in court as they know his background with you im sure...keep fighting and if you lose you lose...at least you tried!!!

I feel for you girl!!

Hugs,
Dawn

[Buddy-licious]

I feel so bad for you!!!! I am not going to try to advise you but I will pray for you. I have been sitting here reading all the replies and for the most part your YT friends have given you some good advise. I felt bad that you felt some were attacking you. Sounds like you did the best you could do at the time and so be it if you still have a relationship with your ex who was once abusive to you. This is your decision!! No one knows your situtation but you. Just remember that 99% of YT'ers have nothing but positive, sweet and thoughtful comments....all the others aren't worth your worries.
I wish you the best of luck in your situation.

[SJK1113]

I would ask him if you could have them or if you could buy them back. If he doesn't agree, then I would take him to court if you feel you are now able to care for them. Obviously, you were in no position to take them at the time you left, and I'm sorry you and your family had to go through that. Don't steal them...you don't want to end up in jail if he decides to press charges. The whole idea of stealing them just isn't right.

Surely, you would have a right to get them back since your husband broke your neck, and you were unable to take them because of that. I'm sure you have evidence of that, so talk to your ex-husband about it. Try to make him see that 6 kids and 2 yorkies and a girlfriend who may not have time for the dogs isn't a very smart idea. Tell him you will talk to a lawyer about it. At least that's legal. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Edited to add: Are the dogs registered? If so, whose name are they in? That could make a difference.

[xBUTTERCUPx]

I haven't read the whole entire thread but I think the better thing to do is to ask him if you could have them back. With him have more responsiblity (6 children) he wouldn't be able to take care of them the same way. I know you said you don't want to split them up but perhaps you can just take one and he take one for the time being and as time goes by, you can ask for the other one (just make up an excuse saying the other won't eat or play without one another) I know it might be easier said than done but it's worth a try.

[Ozzie'sperson]

If this is the kind of man that it sounds like, I'm afraid that if you try too hard to get them back, you never will. Your eagerness to get them may only fuel a sadistic desire to keep them on his part (because it's obvious YOU want them.) Not to mention, what would keep him from attacking you yet again?

Since you say he is good to them, I hope for the best for all of you. Thoughts and prayers headed your way.