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03-12-2007, 06:01 PM | #1 |
Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 11,257
| i live with guilt I got layla at a very difficult time in my life.. but thank god i got her because she honstly saved me. layla came to us on the 20th of May and on the 10 of June my long term bf broke up with me. I moved back to Sault Ste Marie for the summer to be closer to family and away from eveyrthing that remind me of him and looking back at that time i wasn't the best mom i could have been to layla... i would put her in her crate a lot because i didn't want to play... and i didn't take pictures like i shoudl have or enjoyed the time as much as i wish i would have... i feel like a horrible mom for having done this to her... while she gave me a reason to get up every day. i don't feel like i put her first... i was so busy dealing with my own crap that i didn't pay all the attention to her that i should of.. and now that i am over my ex i feel like i wasted that time when i should have been paying attention to her... and while it was a long time ago.. i still feel SO guilty over the whole thing... i look at her sometimes and i could cry because i cna't remember what it was like when she was a puppy.. thank god for the few pictures that i did take... and my parents make me feel bad too because they stayed here in london for the summer while i was in the soo and they tell me how they missed out on her when she was a puppy and they don't know what that time was like and will never get it back... i just feel horrible... i hope you all dont think i'm a horrible mother... i just having a hard time getting over the feeling of guilt |
Welcome Guest! | |
03-12-2007, 06:05 PM | #2 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Indiana
Posts: 376
| Big Hugs Sister!!! We all have it at some point in our lives. I missed out on my daughter being a baby due to divorce. Not that this makes it easier for you - but Cesar Milan says - Dogs live in the moment - they don't remember what you did or didn't do 20 minutes ago. She's just glad you made her pup cakes and had a birthday party with her right now. Life is a string of lessons...I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today!
__________________ Stef, Braxton and Calliope Braxton on Dogster |
03-12-2007, 06:10 PM | #3 | |
Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 11,257
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03-12-2007, 06:13 PM | #4 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 1,470
| You are far from a terrible mother! Layla is very lucky to have you in her life and vice versa. It is what you do for her now that is the most important! Layla loves and appreciates you regardless. That's the great thing about these little ones they give love unconditional! Just take the past as a learning experience. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's like the saying: "When you know better you do better" |
03-12-2007, 06:23 PM | #5 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Southern Oregon Coast
Posts: 192
| I am sure that you are a very good mommy to Layla. I have to agree with what Cesar Milan says - Dogs live in the moment. And know this -- we can't go back and change the past. Our past is what shapes us into the person we are today. Learn from your past and move forward. If anything we should all learn from our babies to Live in the moment -- enjoy every moment you have with Layla. Remember they have an unconitional love for us. Aren't we lucky to have them in our lives. shelley
__________________ Shelley and Mattie Watch Me Grow up at our web site http://knappstudios.com/Mattie.htm |
03-12-2007, 06:27 PM | #6 |
Izzy's Momma Too! Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Stuart, Florida
Posts: 8,799
| Honey, we all do the very best that we can do in our circumstances. My son suffered a lot due to me being a single working mother, when he was 2 to 3 years old. He doesn't remember those times that i was too tired to play with him, but he does remember all the hugs and kisses and going to the beach, and just being together I bet that's all Layla remembers too You LOVE her, and she loves you and that's all that matters. Dump the guilt, life is way too short!
__________________ Tracy, Mom to Izzy and Luna |
03-12-2007, 06:37 PM | #7 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York
Posts: 745
| Everything happens for a reason........and Layla loves you cause you're her mommy......we all have our little "dark" periods......I know I neglected my kids somewhat when I got divorced (18 1/2 years ago)......there were plenty of times I didn't have the strength to get out of bed.......and they're human and DO remember.....and they don't hold it against me.....you do the best you can...... I know you're a really nice person because when I was soooooooooooo stressed over Brandi being spayed you were right there with me the whole time.......and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart...... |
03-12-2007, 06:44 PM | #8 |
Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 11,257
| thanks everyone! i hate to sound like i wanted pity because i was NOT looking for that.. i guess just some reassurance that it is ok to let go of the guilt and not carry it around... i thought if i forgot about the way i was towards her it made it ok... and i know it wasn't.. Luna's Mom you are right.. life is too short! i think i just had a crappy day today and i was quick to get down on myself... thanks for picking me back up i love this place Brandi's mom... anytime |
03-12-2007, 08:59 PM | #9 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Naples, FL
Posts: 57
| I think it's definitely time to let go of that guilt and move on to better times with your baby, because I am sure she does not hold anything against you. You are her mommy, whom she loves unconditionally, regardless of any flaws you may have (and God knows, we all have our flaws). As far as your "bad" times, look at it as a learning experience. You are a stronger, wiser person now that you have gone through that period in your life. I've gone through a bad breakup myself. And it did hurt for a while after the fact, but I can honestly say that I am a better person because of it. I figured a lot of things out for myself during that time. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Enjoy your furbaby and don't let guilt of the past affect your relationship with her right now! To her, you are the best mommy in the world! |
03-13-2007, 02:55 AM | #10 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kearny, NJ
Posts: 1,183
| oh don't feel bad... we all go through difficult times, seems like you were dealing with depression, and I'm sure your parents and Layla helped you go through it. To be honest, I used to bring Pepper with me to work every single day for the first few months but they do grow up fast and I realized recently that I don't really remember him being a little puppy ... She loves you very much and you are a great Mommy, don't worry about that.
__________________ Izabela ... and Pepper Rest in peace, Kora, you're always in my |
03-13-2007, 05:37 AM | #11 |
Love My Furbabies! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: somewhere
Posts: 4,427
| Don't feel guilty at all.. we all go through things and unfortunately it's hard for us to be like them and live in the moment .. I know I wish I could! Just be happy that she was there for you during your time of need and that she'll keep on being there and that you're there for her now, and it's what matters |
03-13-2007, 05:49 AM | #12 | |
Owned by 3 furballs Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 6,581
| Quote:
Please don't feel guilty.......the past is just that. You can't continue to live in it and must live in the present rather. If you feel bad.......then spoil her extra hard now. I think you are an excellent mother..........always asking questions, feeding her the best you have found, b-day parties and just being here to learn more about the breed I have felt guilty myself with my poodle. I used to feed her awful food and didn't know any better.........she is almost 5 now and I feel like I was poisoning her all this time I am 'making-it-up' to her though. I gave her a companion (Bobbi and Kiro), she eats food that I would eat and I always have dolled up. It makes me feel so good inside when people compliment on their coats and personalities. They are well-socialized and cared for You have done the best thing.........writing it on here and getting it off your chest. So now, please print this and bury it........you are the BEST mother Layla could have
__________________ Bobbi Yorkietalk http://www.dogster.com/dogs/395435 And now........little Aja too! http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/23776545 | |
03-13-2007, 05:51 AM | #13 |
Mommy Loves Koda & Kacy! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Home of the NY Yankees
Posts: 6,500
| Dogs are Loyal friends no matter what..... Dogs are always happy to see you. When you get home, they wag their tail, and might try to jump on your chest and give you a big, wet lick or a kiss. Dogs are loyal and friendly. No matter what took place before just remember to give her as much love and attention now...Enjoy the moment and the future |
03-13-2007, 06:18 AM | #14 | |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| Quote:
Relax and enjoy her now!
__________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard | |
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