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Old 03-25-2016, 07:10 PM   #1
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Cry I lost her to collapsed trachea....

No one understands the pain I'm in right now, so I thought you guys might,I'm sorry this is so long, I have no one to talk to about this, everyone thinks she is just a dog, just go get another one, that makes it so much worse. Yesterday afternoon I lost my sweet fur child meesha to collapsed trachea.she was only 4 years old, was diagnosed around 3 years old, I was managing her with meds, I did everything possible for her, she had a great day on wed, played with her toys and ball and ate food, on Thursday afternoon out of nowhere she had a breathing episode she never recovered from, it happened in minutes, it was traumatizing, I thought I still had longer with her. I never knew I could ever feel pain this deep, her and I had a special bond unlike any animal I've ever had, she was my whole world and now it feels as if someone ripped my heart out, she's been stuck to me like glue since I got her, I could read what she wanted by just looking at her, she was my furry little soulmate and now she's gone. Warning: This might be graphic ...but As soon as she pooped herself and the saliava started foaming at her mouth , she was gasping and walking around disoriented,she held her head on her paw breathing heavier than I've ever seen before then her body went limp and I kept thinking she was dead she looked frozen and her eyes were focused and glossy and not blinking, then she'd gasp and gasp , then it would happen again shed freeze and And her paws stretched out straight , I would think she was gone but about 30 seconds later shed gasp again multiple times , I had no time to get her to the vet, her tounge went completely blue, I opened the window for fresh air to blow at her and I just sang to her mommy is here with you, it's ok, as I stroked her head and kissed her, then just like that she took 2 final quiet gasps and was gone. I am traumatized , I had no signs she was getting that bad, I heard some dogs could live with ct for a long time, if I would have known I would have euthanized her sooner so She didn't have to go through that, she is buried in my back yard now, with all her favourite things. I've been crying so hard non stop since yesterday afternoon, I don't think I can get over this. What's worse is that she has a 3 year old Yorkie brother , they were so bonded and now he is devastated too, he keeps barking for her thinking she'll come running to see what's up like she always did, they would kiss eachother all the time , go potty at the same time, drink and play and eat at the same time, and play with one another when they were bored, she'd steal his toy n wag her tail about it, she was a saucy little girl with a big personality that light up every room,I don't know how to cope, or how her brother can cope. This is my worst nightmare come true, she was the biggest part of my life these past 4 years, my whole world revolved around her , she helped me through some of the hardest times of my life, she made my everyday so happy n full of life,and I can't take this pain, it's worse than imaginable and my heart is just breaking for her little brother I don't know what to do to help him, any suggestions? Sorry about all the misspellings I can't stop crying, I just needed people to talk to about this, I've been reading forums for hours, thinking if there was anything I could have done differently, why did she keep freezing up like that at the end? I've googled that for hours but found no answers, I've also googled how to cope with this but nothing helps, it's so quiet n empty n I dunno what to do with myself , I can't eat or sleep and the pain is unbearable. What do I do? Is this pain normal? I feel like I've completely lost it
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Old 03-25-2016, 07:55 PM   #2
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I am so sorry for your loss.......
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Old 03-25-2016, 08:19 PM   #3
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I am sooo, so very sorry for your loss
My heart goes out to you, they are absolutely 100% a part of our everyday life, like our children. There is an awesome quotes/poem/story posted on here for this very reason... I will send it your way if I find it.... My heart breaks for you
You and your little one in my prayers... Until you meet again❤️
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Old 03-25-2016, 08:27 PM   #4
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Im so very sorry for your loss... This is the absolute worst part about having a fur baby with a serious condition... It's so unpredictable and you never know how long you have. At least she was at home with you and not scared in a cold vet office... She passed knowing she was safe and with the person she loved the most... My deepest condolences.
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Old 03-25-2016, 08:56 PM   #5
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Thanks everyone, Its hard to find people that understand that bond you have with your fur child. I had to get this off my chest, it's hard going through this alone, I think her brother senses my pain, I try to play with him or cuddle him but he runs from me, he gave his sister a kiss when she first collapsed, he came back in once she had passed smelled her, he look terrified suddenly and ran away, he hasn't been the same since,my hearts breaking from him, he's never been separated from her, they spent 24/7 beside each other.
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Old 03-25-2016, 09:08 PM   #6
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I am, SO Sorry.
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Old 03-25-2016, 09:38 PM   #7
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You found the perfect site, most everyone here knows the bond you speak of. These little ones so smart too....😕 Praying for peace for both your hearts.
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Old 03-25-2016, 10:56 PM   #8
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I am so very sorry for your devastating loss.

Our little furkids are certainly our precious little children, and everyone here knows what an important part of the family they are.

My heart aches for you. I know the pain you feel; it is much like what I went through 2 years ago when I suddenly lost my Meika. It was one of the worst days of my life, and I still miss her so much and cry often. The first 2 weeks after her loss was the worst, I was so lost I could barely function. Time does help heal somewhat, and you will always have the good memories of her. I hope you and her little Yorkie brother will hang on to each other really tight, and help each other through this sad time.

When you are able, try writing a letter to Meesha..... tell her 10 things you were thankful to her for. It will help you focus on the good memories, and you can add to it over time. Someone started this in the RIP section a few years ago, and it has helped many.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old 03-26-2016, 01:30 AM   #9
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I am so so sorry.
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Old 03-26-2016, 03:51 AM   #10
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I am so very sorry. My heart hurts for you. Hugs and deep sympathy.
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Old 03-26-2016, 05:12 AM   #11
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I am so sorry for yours & little brothers loss it is a hard thing to go through, but time for you will help, keep a close watch on her brother they can get separation anxiety and it can make them really sick...someone that i knew went through this, her little girl stopped eating and just laid around showing no interest in anything, after a few visits to the Vet he told her to get a new companion for little sister because she was dying from a broken heart...she did and little sis made a complete turn around....hugs to you & brother i have been there already and know the pain you are going through
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Old 03-26-2016, 05:35 AM   #12
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I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious little girl. I know your pain, I had to put down my 17 yo girl 2 years ago, One day she was good, the next day I had to rush her to ER, she never came home. Your experience losing her before your very eyes, I cannot even imagine the horror you went through.(((hugs))). A story of one of my experiences of losing one of my babies. Some years back I had a pack of 3 girls, all 3 years apart, my 13 yo passed away, 6 months later my 10 passed away, my 7 yo baby was grieving the loss of my 10 yo. The 7 yo was always "the baby" of the pack. Now she was the only fur child. I was still grieving the loss of my 2 older girls losing them 6 months apart, the baby was in deep depression, she was always the little clown, she wouldn't eat, hid under the bed all the time. I put my grief on the side, the baby was suffering too much. I did everything with her, took her to all her special places, visited all her fav. ppl. nothing could make her happy. She was not the happy little clown anymore. I gave her 6 months to adjust, it never happened, she NEEDED a buddy. So, 7 passed passed and out I went to find her a new buddy. I didn't know how she would react to being the mama, since she was always treated as the baby. Well I found a beautiful, but BIG, little girl, 8 weeks old. I took her home and it was LOVE at first sight. My little clown was back. She bonded with the new kid right away, she accepted the mama role. I was AMAZED at how fast she bonded with the puppy, how much LOVE she had for the puppy, it was as if she had taken for granted the two older girls because they were there when she came home the very first day. She felt the pain and loneliness of being alone. She APPRECIATED the new baby, ate with her, slept in the same doggie bed with her, never let the baby out of her sight. Where ever the baby was the older one was right there with her, I called them ROADWAY cos they were like the tandem trucks one right behind the other. I was so glad I got this puppy for my girl, not only did I get my little happy clown back, but she happier with the new puppy then she had ever been with her two older sisters. Having my lil clown back and seeing the LOVE she had for the new kid helped me heal the loose of my two sweet older girls. No dog can ever replace a precious lost baby. Give yourself time to grieve, help your little boy in his grieving the lose of his best friend. Do special with him, take him to special places, stay strong for the little boy, they feed off our feelings and emotions. Maybe one day you can open your heart to a new baby and a BFF for your little boy. (((hugs)))
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Last edited by matese; 03-26-2016 at 05:40 AM.
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Old 03-26-2016, 06:55 AM   #13
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I'm so sorry for your loss, how heartbreaking, you will be in my prayers!!
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Old 03-26-2016, 07:09 AM   #14
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You have come to the right place. We had our Yorkie for 12 years. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer and was gone in weeks. I was so devastated and came here to vent my sorrows. No one can understand your loss except another Yorkie/dog lover. The people on YorkieTalk will get you through this. The loss you feel may get better in time but you will never forget your baby. Her memories will always be with you. So sorry for your loss and your heartbreak.
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Old 03-26-2016, 08:11 AM   #15
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As you can tell, we understand your loss. Hugs and prayers!
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