Not feeling the "bond"

[Yorkiemom1]

Originally Posted by yavenay

I know when I bought Dutch home (my second adopted yorkie), I didn't feel close to her at first. I thought it was too soon after Brandi had passed and I couldn't stop making the comparisons to her. But over time the bond between us has gotten so close that now I can't imagine life without her.

One of the things I stopped doing was comparing their personalities. When I stopped doing that I saw Dutch completely differently. I absolutely fell in love with her quirks and instead of trying to change Dutch so that I would bond with her I changed so that she could learn to bond with me. I made special time to play with her with no interruptions (at first I didn't even answer the phone). I get on the floor every night and wrestle, play tag and hide and seek with her every day. She has such a high energy level, it was kind of hard to calm her down to cuddle. Then I got to thinking why should I try to change her youthful exuberance? Instead I encourage it and channel it into positive energy for her (so she doesn't destroy the entire house) I accepted her quirks and let her be who she is.

As a result a very standoffish kind of pup now is beginning to seek me out for cuddles. I just sort of let it happen without forcing it or being disappointed because she isn't what I want her to be. If you do decide to keep her, try to make alone time for just the two of you on a regular basis if it's possible. Play her favorite games and let her learn bond to you instead of concentrating on you bonding with her

Excellent advice, and it works!

[lakeerieprinces]

I have had a lot of dogs in my 62 years. I am too attached to our 6 mo. old Yorkie, and due to his birth defect I KNOW what will come. I would give anything to have a Yorkie that is healthy, spunky, and that I KNOW will be here for many years !

[Jkpal]

I am with you on that...I hope you and your baby have sooooo much more wonderful time together, although it will never be enough...
"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really. "
-- Agnes Sligh Turnbull

[yorkietalkjilly]

My first Yorkie, Scotty, I fell for instantly. But both Jilly and Tibbe, it frankly took me a matter of weeks to actually fall in love with and bond to them. Both were troubled dogs, with medical and social-interaction/fear issues(in Tibbe's case) and total life-style changes as 4 or 5 years I'd gone dog-free before I got each of them. But, boy, once the bond happened, love bloomed and stayed for good. Each of them became part of me and when I lost my little Jilly, I honestly wanted only her back - not any other Yorkie so I was very slow to start looking again and it took well over a year of hunting.

But I finally found out about some puppies and two or three grown dogs who'd been kept for months in bad conditions before being turned over to a Yorkie breeder to place in homes, so I went to see them. I saw Tibbe, 9 mos. old, spinning in circles on the floor, so thin and scared and fell for his pitiful situation and knew he would require total dedication for weeks and months or else he'd be a problem, fearful, anxious dog for the rest of his life. But with work and happy training techniques, he's a lovely, very well-behaved but feisty, single-minded, black-hearted, aggressive little terrier(totally unlike ladylike Jilly) who isn't afraid to stand up to me or anything or anybody else if he thinks he's been dissed and loves his life and me. He's a joy to behold. And I totally adore my boy!

[Jkpal]

On my, Yorkietalkjilly~~I totally adore your little guy, too! Sounds like he's loaded with personality, spunk, and love! I think it's says a lot about your love for Jilly in that you now have your 'new' little boy. A wonderful tribute to her...

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Jkpal

On my, Yorkietalkjilly~~I totally adore your little guy, too! Sounds like he's loaded with personality, spunk, and love! I think it's says a lot about your love for Jilly in that you now have your 'new' little boy. A wonderful tribute to her...

Aw, thank you! The two dogs couldn't be more different - like night and day! Jilly was a tiny 3 lb., fragile little lovebug, whom I never trained, totally sweet and cuddly and irreplaceable. And Tibbe? Well he's a 7 lb., hardened little go-getting, attention-hound who never slows down, growls gruffly at me until I go through his training daily, makes me chase him for his chewie toy and rules my life with an iron paw, though he can be a sweetheart anytime I'd like and must rest/sleep touching me. He's all over the house running it his way but will do anything I request of him - even stop barking at the cat outside!!! And I love them both madly! But neither relationship started out smoothly and took some time to develop. Maybe because each of them was so much extra physical work for me those first few months! Such lifestyle changes - but changes I'm so totally glad I made each time. Nothing in the world like having your very own sweet, very special Yorkie!!! And I've had three of the best.

[Jkpal]

And those three obviously got their own best in you! Love how you describe your day-to-day...!