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Old 09-17-2014, 12:10 PM   #1
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Sad She loves him more than me!

So....

Penny is my dog, she's 5 and a half months. I bought her, I bought everything for her. Since we got her I've fed her, changed her water, taken her to traing classes, walked her, trained her at home, everything.

Se does listen to me and (most of the time) is quite obedient. I suppose I also do the things she doesn't like so much. I'm the one who brushes her, ties her hair, baths her, puts her harness on etc. but, in the last few weeks its become obvious that she would rather cuddle with my fiancé than me.

She will choose to sit on his lap, have a cuddle, be lovely and docile with him, but never me. He sometimes feels bad and says 'go to mummy' and puts her on my lap, but she just either gets down or goes back to him. I make every effort to give her cuddles and attention, all her treats. I know this sounds selfish but I don't feel like I'm getting back the love I deserve. Why should be reap the rewards all the time for no effort put in?

This probably sounds pathetic, but I just wanted to seeing anyone else has a similar situation? Where are I going wrong?


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Old 09-17-2014, 12:37 PM   #2
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Oh, you're telling my story Danni! (My name's Dani too! )

Anyway, my little Billi is my world. She's technically my dog, even tho I insust she's ours (my boyfriend and myself). I'm home all day with her, I bathe her, I feed her, I take her places with me, treats and training and lots of playtime. And who does she go apebleep for when he gets home from work? Disneyland Daddy!

She cuddles with him, follows him around (she does me, too, but him more), gives him all kinds of affection and attention that she barely gives to me and I'm like WTH!! If I get any attention, it's short & to the point and definitely only on her terms. But daddy comes along and it's a different story...

I've heard for the longest time that females tend to favor the men in the house and males favor the women and while I'm aware that isn't true in all cases, that's how it's worked out for us. I had to really campaign for Billi for 2 years before my boyfriend would let us get her, so it was disappointing seeing how much they've bonded. Thankfully, we have a little boy coming in December and I'm making extra effort to have that bond with him.

To be honest, I do feel like I perpetuated Billi's bond with her dad. I'd get really excited when he gets home and encourage her to be excited to see him. I'm sure that over time, she's taken that to mean "the king is here, yippe!!"

Anyway, you're definitely not alone and I totally understand the disappointment. It actually, sorta hurts my feelings a little. I know Billi loves me and I'm sure your little girl loves you too- we're their mommy's, we're irreplaceable, but still. I get how you feel!
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:46 PM   #3
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Mine were that way towards My Husband. He feeds them and gives them special attention. So what I did was start treating them, took them for walks, gave them more attention and worked with them on obedience. I would do this when he wasnt home and I had them all to myself and they came around and now give me attention so my advice is to keep doing what your doing
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:53 PM   #4
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Aww thank you guys! It's just sad isn't it. I'm trying to make more of a effort at the moment to just cuddle her. Maybe when she's on my lap she associates it with things she doesn't like that much, like I clean up her eyes and brush her on my lap.

I'm trying to convince my fiancé to do some more of those things to even it out a bit, maybe he can brush her half the time so it's fairer?

It's silly because I know she does love me, she's so good with her tricks and training for me. He struggles to get her to do her tricks for dinner etc, and I often have to step in there. I just want snuggle time with my girl.

And Dani you're definitely right. I do 'where's Daddy? Where is he? Go get him!' And my attention if definitely on her terms. Like just now she can and sat next to me, I gave her a little stroke and she ran off and grabbed a toy! She's like a cat with me sometimes. I'm allowed a little stroke and she's all set. Ben can sit on the sofa with her for an hour or more and they'll go to sleep together. Ugh!

Jealous yorkie mum!

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Old 09-17-2014, 01:01 PM   #5
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Jealous yorkie mum!
LOL it's funny you say that because my boyfriend will be all snuggled with Billi and Billi will start kissing over him and as soon as I start pouting (mature, right? I can't help it!) he just looks at me and goes "jealousss!!" Hah it's true.

Good idea with having him start helping with brushing and feeding. Really work with him about training. I think part of why Billi loves her dad so much is that he doesn't really expect anything from her- she doesn't have to "work" for him like she does for me. Which is good for us, that means they respect us, but bad in terms of, well... they have to work for us.

I will say it does get better over time, but it'll get easier if you ease your expectations a bit. I started being aloof with Billi- ignoring her when she came to me and she started doing it more... Something you might try.
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Old 09-17-2014, 01:09 PM   #6
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I really sulk about it. I know to childish but I can't help it. She's my baby and I spoil her rotten. I think she knows this though, she knows that I'm firm and train and have the respect so she pretty much just used Ben for cuddles when she wants them and limitless playtime, which I do admit I limit. It shouldn't be on her terms and if she doesn't get her way she's a brat, she'll just throw a toy at our feet and bark until we do something. I persevere if I'm busy and tell her off, eventually Ben will give in, sit on the floor and play.

Some good ideas there. I will have to implement some sort of plan, especially while she's still young. I think it's still fixable if we both try.

I agree about working for me. She gets cuddles and playtime from Ben, he doesn't really tell her off properly. His 'NO's' are half-assed! She must think 'mean mummy' all the time haha!

Isn't it funny how we like to think that we're the boss of the dogs. I bet they know what they do to us and find it hilarious. She rules my life more than I would normally like to admit. But on here, I know all of our babies rule our lives!

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Old 09-17-2014, 01:19 PM   #7
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Aww, well they're our babies, of course they rule our lives a bit! We spend time and money finding the right pup for us and yours is still very much a baby so she's definitely "fixable" in that respect. Oh and they totally know that they rule us, these cuties are smart as can be and know how cute we think they are. Billi is a definite stinker there- she knows she's adorable and knows when to use it against us, LOL!

Work with Ben about his firmness. It's for everyone's benefit anyway if he does. He'll just get frustrated if she doesn't mind him because he's not being firm enough. It's like with a kid- they're so cute, but they do rely on us for discipline...
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Old 09-17-2014, 02:20 PM   #8
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I so understand your feelings. My boyfriend is a animal magnet all animals seem to love him and I was worried when I brought Buster home that he would love Jack more than me. Buster is my first dog and I wanted him to be bonded to me first and Jack second. I had Behaviorist/trainer come to my house because of other issues and I asked him when Jack was not there (I did not want to hurt his feelings and I didn't want him to know either) and asked the trainer if there was anything I could do to make Buster bond with me more. He said to spit in Buster's food. My memory is a bit vague of the exact reasoning but it's something like the baby animal usually licks the mother's face to say they are hungry or to get morsels of food and if you spit in their food it is like feeding the baby by mouth??? So for a while I would spit in Buster's food and it worked. Buster will go back and forth but mama wins. I went through the same sadness when he was not favoring me...I knew it was childish but I still wanted to be the most special one to him.
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Old 09-17-2014, 03:13 PM   #9
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I so understand your feelings. My boyfriend is a animal magnet all animals seem to love him and I was worried when I brought Buster home that he would love Jack more than me. Buster is my first dog and I wanted him to be bonded to me first and Jack second. I had Behaviorist/trainer come to my house because of other issues and I asked him when Jack was not there (I did not want to hurt his feelings and I didn't want him to know either) and asked the trainer if there was anything I could do to make Buster bond with me more. He said to spit in Buster's food. My memory is a bit vague of the exact reasoning but it's something like the baby animal usually licks the mother's face to say they are hungry or to get morsels of food and if you spit in their food it is like feeding the baby by mouth??? So for a while I would spit in Buster's food and it worked. Buster will go back and forth but mama wins. I went through the same sadness when he was not favoring me...I knew it was childish but I still wanted to be the most special one to him.

Ok, so confession time, you guys... Billi and my boyfriend will kiss for days, right and I asked him "wth how does she kiss you for so long, it's like you guys are making out!" And he told me when Billi is licking his lips, he like, spits a little bit so she'll lick it up. OMG I wonder if that's why they're so bonded??!!

I'm totally serious, I'm going to start spitting on Billi. I'm gonna do it right now. BRB!
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Old 09-17-2014, 03:21 PM   #10
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Quote:
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Ok, so confession time, you guys... Billi and my boyfriend will kiss for days, right and I asked him "wth how does she kiss you for so long, it's like you guys are making out!" And he told me when Billi is licking his lips, he like, spits a little bit so she'll lick it up. OMG I wonder if that's why they're so bonded??!!

I'm totally serious, I'm going to start spitting on Billi. I'm gonna do it right now. BRB!
This is the trainer Los Angeles Dog Trainer - Dog Behavior Specialist in Los Angeles
and it worked. Let the Spit begin
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Old 09-17-2014, 05:15 PM   #11
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As a guy who was "won over" by a Yorkie. Think of it this way, if your husband or boyfriend loves your dog and treats him well, everybody wins. My wife was a little jealous about our girls obsession with me and now we have two dogs. So you are definitely not alone. I know a bunch of guys who would never even think of having a Yorkie, but once they lived with one they can't imagine not living with a Yorkie. If your guy treats you well and your dog well, he is probably a pretty good guy. That is something many women would be jealous of.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:32 PM   #12
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Ok, so confession time, you guys... Billi and my boyfriend will kiss for days, right and I asked him "wth how does she kiss you for so long, it's like you guys are making out!" And he told me when Billi is licking his lips, he like, spits a little bit so she'll lick it up. OMG I wonder if that's why they're so bonded??!!

I'm totally serious, I'm going to start spitting on Billi. I'm gonna do it right now. BRB!


lol!!!!!


to the OP - Until recently, I was working full time and each day I came home my dog greeted me like a war hero.


Now, I've been home full time for the last three weeks (from tomorrow) and he only greets my husband this way! It may be that your baby is used to seeing you so that excitement isn't there as it is replaced by contentment and security within your continued presence. That's how I'm viewing the behavior, otherwise, I might be jealous, too!
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Old 09-18-2014, 12:34 AM   #13
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I've heard for the longest time that females tend to favor the men in the house and males favor the women and while I'm aware that isn't true in all cases, that's how it's worked out for us.

Anyway, you're definitely not alone and I totally understand the disappointment.
I agree! Works that way here! Our boy loves his mom oh sooooo much better than his daddy. LOL I spend a lot of time with him, maybe more than his mom. He loves us both though.

You might count your blessings rather than feeling down. I've read where male pups that bond with the woman SOMETIMES develop an aggressive attitude towards the man. That would be a worse situation.

Gucci had a little of that when we first received him.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:58 AM   #14
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My 13 year old boy is obsessed with my sister... The funny thing is that she doesn't even live with us (we are both grown and have our own homes). She comes around on the weekends and he won't leave her side. She even takes him once in a while for a sleepover at her house. Funny though how I'm the one that walks him and feeds him and baths him...he does like coming home at least and gets very excited to see me but still not the same level of excitement he gives her! I joke that they are soul mates
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Old 09-18-2014, 07:01 AM   #15
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I have the same issues.....kinda. I am not sure how my baby knows it's Friday but she is a totally different puppy on the weekends. Monday through Thursday she is MY baby!! She is my shadow all day everyday. On Fridays she starts pulling away.....come 5pm on Friday night's, she is daddy's girl till Monday morning! It melts my heart that she loves him and even more that he loves her. Yes, I get jealous but I think what it would be like if he did not like her. She is only 12 weeks old and she may grow out of this but I hope not! Its pretty cute watching he man I love more than anything in the world loving her. And to see a hard core MAN carrying around a 2 pound fluff ball is super sexy to me. And that fluff ball is extra cute poking her head out of his truck all weekend.
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