Thanks Yorkie talk

[tjdmom]

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our Collie of 12 years a few years ago and I went through all the same things you are going through. I blamed myself for not realizing sooner or for doing something different. And questioned myself about what I could have done that caused it…. was it cancer, did I feed her the wrong food, should I have done this or that. It's hard to accept and eventually that's what I had to do was just accept the loss but still I sometimes blame myself, if only I had taken her to my vet earlier in the day at the moment I was concerned but she had just thrown up and dogs do that all the time but maybe my own vet would have been better than the emergency vet. I sometimes even wonder if the emergency vet was wrong….
Bottom line, it's so hard and there are no easy answers but I am terribly sorry for your loss.

[matese]

Originally Posted by lesliei

Think I should write and say what was going on with Molly cos it may help me find some answers from you good people.
Last March we noticed a noise like escaping air when Molly was breathing. I thought it might have been a gap in a tooth she had lost. Vet however thought it was nothing. Over the year she had conjuctivitus a few times, ear infections and what the vet told us was kennel cough. All were treated and seemed to clear up. A few times she also had poorly stomach but she was very hard to please in her diet and probally got a few too many treats. November saw her being treated after a severe bout of the trots as we call it. All seemed well after this till Dec 28th we found a lump on her neck gland area. We took her straight to the vet and while there noticed the whites of her eyes were bright red. We were horrified fearing the worst. The lump was tested and treated with antibiotics. Tests came back negative for cancer and the lump disappeared in two weeks. However the vet didn't treat her eyes and we ended up going back a few days after for drops then steroids. This ended up going on till March probally because they wernt treated right away. Tuesday the 11th the vet said she was done no more treatment.
We were ecstatic but next morning the killer blow came. Molly was poorly again with rumbling tummy. She wouldn't eat or drink. Never ever not takin water in. I was worried. Vet gave her an injection cant even remember what for now. It didn't work. We were syringing water in her mouth to try and keep her hydrated but no food she wasn't interested. She became unsteady on her feet walking head down to the right all the time then laying in a corner and not moving. We thought vet may have hurt her neck which she had done before jumping about but we don't know for sure. Back to vet and more injections for pain this time. She had blood tests which were fine. Back home she started showing signs of distress but we were told she might not be herself after jabs. To me though she started to feel pain. Outside she was falling over and still walking to the right and when I picked her up she screamed. I couldn't handle that and took her back to the vet told them to moniter her and give me their professional advice. At first they wanted to sedate her cos they said they could see a small lump in her throat but the senior vet was away and they wernt confident of operating on a tumour if that's what it was. Mollys temperature went up and they got concerned phoned me and advised me to put her to sleep. We raced down there and I fell apart saying goodbye. Falling apart writing this now. Gonna miss her so much but the worst part is not knowing what happened and should I have waited longer to try and save her. Its too late now.
The senior vet phoned me next day saying how shocked he was that just two days earlier he had given her a clean bill of health. He says she may have had a throat tumour which can be very aggressive or from last year with the funny breathing noise may have been another tumour steadily getting worse. We will never know now. Thanks for listening I needed to tell the story.

OMG, what a horrifying ordeal you went through, and to share that experience with us,reliving that day, causing the pain all over again, there are no words for me to say except god bless you and your partner, your lil girl is free of pain now, just such a horrifying ordeal. Your & your partner are in my prayers.

[yorkietalkjilly]

It's good to tell the story - helps to share with others and talk about what happened. It's just heartbreaking to read about how you lost her but I doubt she was totally well only two days before she passed. With an old dog behaving as Molly was and no clear diagnosis or treatment plan by your vet and the dog in distress with alarming symptoms, what else could you do but try to get her out of her misery? Perhaps she had a stoke with her systems behaving so oddly there at the last.

In any event, you made the decision based on your vet's advice and if you trusted them, what more can a loving dog-owner do? Who would take an alarmingly ill/suffering dog from one vet clinic, away from life support, and strike out in the car to the nearest Vet ER hoping somehow they could successfully diagnose and treat her at that hour w/out thinking you may well be prolonging her agony? You did your best to try to relieve her awful suffering and acted in the knowledge and circumstances of the moment, thinking of her misery. Don't second guess yourself now - it will not help at all and will only prolong your own suffering and grief.