I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our Collie of 12 years a few years ago and I went through all the same things you are going through. I blamed myself for not realizing sooner or for doing something different. And questioned myself about what I could have done that caused it…. was it cancer, did I feed her the wrong food, should I have done this or that. It's hard to accept and eventually that's what I had to do was just accept the loss but still I sometimes blame myself, if only I had taken her to my vet earlier in the day at the moment I was concerned but she had just thrown up and dogs do that all the time but maybe my own vet would have been better than the emergency vet. I sometimes even wonder if the emergency vet was wrong….
Bottom line, it's so hard and there are no easy answers but I am terribly sorry for your loss. |