Post Puppy Depression:(

[LondonRee]

As just an additional story, for anyone ready Marley's story...Getting Ellington.

When I got him, not as a puppy, but as a rescue, I also quickly felt pretty overwhelmed. He was poorly, and he wasn't sleeping through. i was tired, stressed and running out of money for the vet.

I panicked that I had done the wrong thing. I am a similar age to Marley's owner, and also an only child. I'm not used to putting anyone's needs above my own.

I also contemplated finding a new home for Elli. I waited for him to get better first, before I made any rash decisions.

We found our feet together, and I definitely don't see him as a child. I didn't ever want to. He is my buddy, and we hang out. I wouldn't say I love him yet, but I like being with him, and he's fitted into my life very well.

I do have to think about him when arranging to go to the pub (he often comes with me), and he is restricting. But he also brings stuff to my life I hadn't realised. I love how many people talk to me now, and he's a funny little man really.

So I came through my doubts, and we're now happy hanging out together. he definitely has become attached to me, and is always happy hanging out near me (or on me!).

Ill always be a cat person at heart, but for now I own a dog, and we're enjoying hanging out.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Sunny95

This is absolutely beautiful and I completely relate. My first yorkie, Sunny, was the love of my life! She was perfect in every way. We spent a wonderful 13 years together. It was so good, that 7 months later, I adopted Ginger. WOW, did I feel completely overwhelmed. These 2 dogs were night and day. I wondered the same that many of you had. "What had I done?"

Well, it's been 3 years now and Ginger has made her own place in my heart. She is my baby girl, my shadow, my love. Getting her was in no way a bad decision. She is very different from my precious Sunny, but she is loved so much! I wouldn't trade her for anything!

Hang in there. Being overwhelmed with a puppy is normal. It will get better and you will have more freedom down the road. I'm an only child too. I think that is actually why my yorkies are so important to me. They aren't just dogs - they are family!

Thank you! And it truly can take some period of time to adjust to big life changes or a dog that's a bit different. I'm so glad to see when problem relationships or rocky starts can work out as in your & many of our situations - but it's a fact that they don't always.

[shelimcallister]

This whole situation with Marley has been a whirlwind. YT went through some serious debating, a loss of a member and when most everyone decided to try and be encouraging (rather than critical), she gives Marley back. I will say that I truly enjoyed getting to know some of the details for your lives through all of this and I have a greater respect for all of you.

[LunasMomma]

Thanks for the update. I was wondering what happened.

YT is the best

[Sunny95]

Wow. I hope Marley finds a good home and is loved to the moon and back! He deserves nothing less!

I'm sad for the OP - she doesn't know what she will be missing.

[concretegurl]

Glad I missed this one, I was too busy taking care of my dogs.

[MommytoMiles]

Originally Posted by memphis10

Sounds like that was the best decision for both of them. You have to be committed and ready to have a puppy, not unlike the feeling of having children. Both are overwhelming and it sounded like the OP still had some growing up to do. I'm sure the breeder will find a great forever home for Marley.

Yes, on the growing up part. Marley will find a good home for sure.

[DBlain]

I know we would have loved a happy ever after story of the OP realizing how in love she was with the puppy but I had a feeling this gal was just not ready, just glad she did the right thing and returned him quickly, now he has a little more time to be with his mom and litter mates and find that special someone that has been searching for the perfect yorkie to shower with love and attention. And a big thumbs up to you that poured your heart out trying to get her to understand the joy a dog can add to your life. I venture to say that the gal who I don't know has some issues that need to be worked through before bringing another pet into her home. I hope she finds the help that I believe she needs.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by DBlain

I know we would have loved a happy ever after story of the OP realizing how in love she was with the puppy but I had a feeling this gal was just not ready, just glad she did the right thing and returned him quickly, now he has a little more time to be with his mom and litter mates and find that special someone that has been searching for the perfect yorkie to shower with love and attention. And a big thumbs up to you that poured your heart out trying to get her to understand the joy a dog can add to your life. I venture to say that the gal who I don't know has some issues that need to be worked through before bringing another pet into her home. I hope she finds the help that I believe she needs.

And all our posts here, of course, are posted with the intention of addressing the OP's posts, but also anyone who is reading now or in the future who is feeling a bit overwhelmed & wondering what in the world they have just done & is it ever normal or okay to feel post-puppy depression or anxiety as they face the reality of their new dog. As with anything in life, people all don't react the same or maintain that immediate rush of wonderful feelings one has when you first get your dog. Once you're home & dealing with the hard realities of that new dog, it can stagger you a bit that you have just taken a huge step in life & now comes the actual living with it & all that that implies.

I'm not nearly so concerned about a new owner feeling overwhelmed & anxious or having second thoughts as I am those who have had their dog for over 5 or 6 mos. & had time to grow to love the dog deeply, work through all the initial issues & are on YT wondering, sometimes not in so many words, but wondering if they should keep their dog or why it doesn't fit into their lives better or complaining about its bad habits, sometimes never expressing their love for the dog or rather weakly, if they do mention it. There can be a tone to some posts like that that just seems incompatible with love for the dog.

By that time, an owner has had ample time to fall completely in love with that dog & work through life-adjustments, as well as address any behavior problems. Usually after a few months, even with the rockiest of starts, owners are by then Bonkers-with-a-capital-B over their dog, it's become a true member of the family & no one can imagine life without it. (Not to mention that by then the little dog has usually settled into his home & loves that owner/family.) But those are the situations that trouble me & I wonder if the dog will ever truly be happy in that home. Thankfully, those posts are few & far between.

With new dog owners vs. those complaining about dogs they've had a while, I'm sometimes reminded of my friend from work who had a 4 week old new daughter, born with bad colic. The baby screamed & cried much of the time it was awake, slept little & my friend also had had virtually no sleep since delivery. Nothing they had tried for colic worked. She dropped by the office after the most recent pediatrician appointment, thinner than I'd ever seen her, no make-up, hair askew, big blue bags under her tired eyes & new lines in her face, looked me straight in the face and said "Is there a way to give her back.....now!?!?" and burst into tears. Well, that baby is now 14, a happy, healthy, beautiful girl, a gifted A-student who loves acrobatics & dance, has a sparkling personality, the wisdom & judgment of a 25 year old, & is the apple of both her parents' eyes. It didn't shock me when the baby was new with new-baby problems for her to express the desire to "give her back" but if she said that now, I would worry.

[gracielove]

While I admit a puppy can be a challenge something just sounded a bit too over the top about this OP. I could understand it from someone who was several years younger but honestly a grown woman at that age should be able to handle it. I think there were some other issues at play there, especially since this is a repeat occurrence. I guess some people deal with stress differently than others.

I am glad she took the puppy back before there was any real bond made by the puppy.

[gracielove]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

And all our posts here, of course, are posted with the intention of addressing the OP's posts, but also anyone who is reading now or in the future who is feeling a bit overwhelmed & wondering what in the world they have just done & is it ever normal or okay to feel post-puppy depression or anxiety as they face the reality of their new dog. As with anything in life, people all don't react the same or maintain that immediate rush of wonderful feelings one has when you first get your dog. Once you're home & dealing with the hard realities of that new dog, it can stagger you a bit that you have just taken a huge step in life & now comes the actual living with it & all that that implies.

I'm not nearly so concerned about a new owner feeling overwhelmed & anxious or having second thoughts as I am those who have had their dog for over 5 or 6 mos. & had time to grow to love the dog deeply, work through all the initial issues & are on YT wondering, sometimes not in so many words, but wondering if they should keep their dog or why it doesn't fit into their lives better or complaining about its bad habits, sometimes never expressing their love for the dog or rather weakly, if they do mention it. There can be a tone to some posts like that that just seems incompatible with love for the dog.

By that time, an owner has had ample time to fall completely in love with that dog & work through life-adjustments, as well as address any behavior problems. Usually after a few months, even with the rockiest of starts, owners are by then Bonkers-with-a-capital-B over their dog, it's become a true member of the family & no one can imagine life without it. (Not to mention that by then the little dog has usually settled into his home & loves that owner/family.) But those are the situations that trouble me & I wonder if the dog will ever truly be happy in that home. Thankfully, those posts are few & far between.

With new dog owners vs. those complaining about dogs they've had a while, I'm sometimes reminded of my friend from work who had a 4 week old new daughter, born with bad colic. The baby screamed & cried much of the time it was awake, slept little & my friend also had had virtually no sleep since delivery. Nothing they had tried for colic worked. She dropped by the office after the most recent pediatrician appointment, thinner than I'd ever seen her, no make-up, hair askew, big blue bags under her tired eyes & new lines in her face, looked me straight in the face and said "Is there a way to give her back.....now!?!?" and burst into tears. Well, that baby is now 14, a happy, healthy, beautiful girl, a gifted A-student who loves acrobatics & dance, has a sparkling personality, the wisdom & judgment of a 25 year old, & is the apple of both her parents' eyes. It didn't shock me when the baby was new with new-baby problems for her to express the desire to "give her back" but if she said that now, I would worry.

Oh gosh! I went through colic with 4 out of my 5 kids! No wonder a puppy is not something to stress over for me! Cleaning up a few pee spots is nothing compared to a baby that can cry for hours at a time and wakes up every time you try to put them to bed!

[concretegurl]

Originally Posted by LondonRee

As just an additional story, for anyone ready Marley's story...Getting Ellington.

When I got him, not as a puppy, but as a rescue, I also quickly felt pretty overwhelmed. He was poorly, and he wasn't sleeping through. i was tired, stressed and running out of money for the vet.

I panicked that I had done the wrong thing. I am a similar age to Marley's owner, and also an only child. I'm not used to putting anyone's needs above my own.

I also contemplated finding a new home for Elli. I waited for him to get better first, before I made any rash decisions.

We found our feet together, and I definitely don't see him as a child. I didn't ever want to. He is my buddy, and we hang out. I wouldn't say I love him yet, but I like being with him, and he's fitted into my life very well.

I do have to think about him when arranging to go to the pub (he often comes with me), and he is restricting. But he also brings stuff to my life I hadn't realised. I love how many people talk to me now, and he's a funny little man really.

So I came through my doubts, and we're now happy hanging out together. he definitely has become attached to me, and is always happy hanging out near me (or on me!).

Ill always be a cat person at heart, but for now I own a dog, and we're enjoying hanging out.

What you said was brave and has the ring of truth to it.
Good for you for being a stand up human being taking responsibility.

[LondonRee]

Originally Posted by concretegurl

What you said was brave and has the ring of truth to it.
Good for you for being a stand up human being taking responsibility.

Thank you. It was a tough first week with him! i didn't want to be someone who gave back a dog, but I would have, if both of us had remained stressed out, but I knew I had to give it a chance to settle down. And it did!

Ellington is a little gentleman, and the sacrifices he causes me to make it, are worth it. I like the extra exercise, I like the social interactions, I like being needed. He doesn't bark, bite, he rides the train to work, he hangs out at cafes. He's pretty much a perfect little buddy!

Would have I have another dog, when Ellington is no longer with us? Probably not. There's honesty for you!! He he. He's fab, but once will be enough for me!

[Yorkiemom1]

Originally Posted by lovespandp

The OP sent me an email- She said that she did return Marley to the breeder- She feels it isn't her time for a puppy right now, she had to do what was best for herself and of course Marley-

Not sure if she will come back on, but I thought I would let you guys know an update!

This is the best outcome for the baby. I really felt, from the tone of the post, she was not ready for a puppy, for whatever reason. Like someone on here had said earlier, when you first get a puppy, you are USUALLY so thrilled and excited, you eat, sleep, and breathe that puppy....it isnt until several months later, that you calm down and while you have adapted to having a baby around, you may then include OTHER activities in your day, separate from the puppy. The OP was coming out of the gate, resentful of the intrusion this baby was imposing on her lifestyle. She CLEARLY was not ready, emotionally or mentally, to accept a puppy into her "space". I am thankful she returned the baby....that would have been another puppy in a rescue or the pound if the breeder had not taken that baby back. I can only hope this young lady carefully considers her decision to get "puppy #3" in the future, to be sure she is getting it for the right reasons. GOD BLESS LITTLE MARLEY....

[lynzy420]

I'm glad OP made a decision the was best for her and her pup. I sincerely hope that she works on her self confidence and seeks a counselor or life coach to deal with the issues that make her so afraid to commit. Surely this mindset won't do her well in "life." She really needs to become independent and confident in who she is....my dad always said, no one will know how special you are until you believe how special you are...it is so true.

As for Marley, he will be fine and I'm sure he will go to a loving home and end up right where he belongs. My only concern is that I heard mention that this may have been a byb? If so, I would have hoped that you would have made the sacrifice and instead of getting a "puppy promise" for the future that you would have given Marley a better chance by going to a rescue or rehomed to a good family that you chose. If you knowingly gave him back to someone that is questionable than I'm sorry but thats just another time that YOU are perpetuating your own inability to put the needs of others before yours.

I wish OP much luck and sincerely hope that she does work on "herself."