Post Puppy Depression:(

[Teresa Ford]

A post like this, is so hard for a crazy old Yorkie Lady like me to believe. Assuming that it could be a real request for help, I decided to reply.
I have heard of postpartum blues, but doubt that applies with puppies.

I read all the advice the Original Poster was given. Some is so eloquent and kindly written I admit it made me think before typing. Taking a deep breath, and giving my advice now: Return the dog to the breeder, and continue the life you had before. If you really want 'a pet' I strongly suggest a computer pet. That way if you want to take off for drinks, or the beach you can put them on pause. My grandchildren love their computer pets.

I am NOT criticizing your life style or what you think is important. From what you wrote I think you regret getting the puppy, and I feel the puppy would be happier with a different person.

[lovespandp]

I emailed you, but will write a post as well..

I never told anyone this before, but I was in the same boat as you. I was a tad younger- I was 25 not like the age matters 100% but I think it does count.

Probably a week after I brought Peanut home, I was on my way to the breeder to take him back- I was stressed, overwelmened, exhausted, felt resrtrained...

I sat with the breeder, Peanut on my lap. I told her I couldnt take it anymore, he has accidents, he cries at night I am up with him getting 0 sleep, I feel I can't go anywhere bc I didnt want to leave him alone, I told her it was my first dog and I didnt think I could handle it...

She told me she would take him back no problem, but she told me to wait- She said it gets easier, it is a lot of hard work but it does it better-

She told me to look at his face look into to eyes and make the choice, I looked down at him- He put his paw on my arm and looked up at me in the most cutest puppy eyes ever!!

She said look- He put his paw on your arm, I forgot how she explained it ( 5 years ago LOL) but she said he was "Owning me" He is yours now, he just made that choice for you!!

I was kinda confused, I thought no he just put his paw on my arm, that doesnt mean anything- It was really strange. I didnt know how to take it-

She told me to give it another week - after that if I still want to give him back I could.

A week later I was so in love I could have never gave him back!

I am not going to lie, it is hard work- Just as Gemy said.. It does it easier to an extent.

They are living breathing things, they count on us to be there for them 24/7 just as they are for us.

Keeping Peanut was the best choice I have ever made, He is my little side kick, he is always by my side- ( Laying right next to me now all curled up) Yorkies are a breed of their own.

They are there for you when you need them, they make you laugh, they have unconditonal love for you-

All I can tell you is- Give him a chance. It will get better.. Beyond the sleepless nights, the stress of potty training, getting over the chewed up shoes and other items, turing your friends down the night they want to party..

You have a little dog that loves you and will be there for you whenever you need him-

[DvlshAngel985]

Originally Posted by Deadbug

It's easy to get through this. Trust me. I'm an only child and probably one of the most selfish people I know, but I'd fight till the death for my dogs and kids. I'm frustrated with our new puppy, Issy right now but instead of reacting, I'm going to try to find a solution (the little brat pee'd on my bed and untrained Gabby - more on that later)

You need to retrain yourself.

Bathtime? It's not a chore. Ever have one of those barbie dress up heads? You know, the ones you can blowdry, style, cut and brush the hair? Yep... you have a live one now.

Mealtimes? No problem. Now you have someone to have dinner with EVERY night.

Bedtime? (wait until after potty trained!), you have someone to cuddle with.

Errands to run? Cool beans. You have someone to talk to while you're driving. Trust me, he'll understand when you explode at the guy who cuts you off.

Companionship? yep yep! I love having someone to talk to that doesn't point out my flaws an argue with me. With my girls, I'm always right, no matter how ridiculous it sounds to humans. LOVE that!

I haven't read the whole thread, but this is the most awesome post I've ever read. I was overwhelmed too, but it didn't hit me so soon. I had a checklist o things that needed to be done when Kaji got home. I went through it, and when I was done, that's when it hit me. But Deadbug is right, it's just so awesome to have a buddy.

[lovespandp]

I think right now MarleyMyLove needs support and I am glad to see some of you are giving her the support. I know for a fact a lot of us have been here- Hearing all of our stories will help her in more ways than one!!

[MarleyMyLove]

You just don't know how it feels to read all the positivity and help you all have offerered. I am crying tears of happiness right now. My bestfriend just stopped by as well, she has a bully pit, 10 weeks, he drives her crazy, but she even said (she also has 3 kids) it gets better. Right now marley is biting my feet, he pooped in the hallway, and he is a bit insane with the things he choses to bite, but I swear...I dont want to drive back to the breeder and give him back. This was m choice. I live on a quiet neighborhood kinda block and almost everyone has a dog (huge dogs!) Surely I can do this like the rest of them, even if I am an only child. Thank you to everyone who said something to get me through this phase.....I go from being completely in love to just wanting to drive the 1 30mins to give him back. He is a mess, he drives me crazy, and right now he is getting in something, but I am starting to feel like I can't see this apt with out his stinkin butt. Everything happens for a reason, from day one it seemed destined for me to have him. Thank you to those who really considered how I felt in this, and who know that I love him with everything in me. And to those who inboxed me saying they feel the same way......I can vouch...it does get better. My day feels better already now that I have decided I am NOT giving him back to the breeder He is stuck with me, and the way he is licking my toes, I dont think he minds.

[lovespandp]

I am so glad to hear you say that- You can see you are not the only one that has been stressed out- I think it is normal to feel that way..

You will have good days and you will have bad days. On the bad days come and vent to us we can help and support you so you are able to get through it!



P.S Can we see some pics???

[lynzy420]

I still sometimes feel this way. I am 46 years old and my kids are off on their own and I had planned to do many things...but, because of Miss Mini's high maintenance issues, I can't take her everywhere I go, I can't go to Vegas 8 weeks out of the year anymore. I have to settle for long weekend vacations without hubby...() cuz one of us has to stay with her. We can't fly anywhere so when we do visit family in Florida (not 2ce a year anymore) we have to drive. Sometimes after work everyone wants to head to the Falls for Happy Hour or the Casino and I first have to go home and take care of my pups...but, I wouldn't have it any other way!!!! You learn to adjust.

If I have any advice I would say to make sure you have atleast 2 family members or friends that your pup visits regularly and would not mind staying with for a few days...I have my vet and my tenant who adore Miss Mini and Mia and neither would mind staying with them for a few days.

Don't worry and don't think ahead just enjoy it now and love your pupppy!

[lynzy420]

Originally Posted by lovespandp

I am so glad to hear you say that- You can see you are not the only one that has been stressed out- I think it is normal to feel that way..

You will have good days and you will have bad days. On the bad days come and vent to us we can help and support you so you are able to get through it!



P.S Can we see some pics???

This!!!!!!!!!!!

[NrfnKiva]

i want you to know that i just went through a period...about a month of feeling so overwhelmed that i seriously wondered if i had made the right decision on getting Hailey.

see, my yorkie Kiva died suddenly last Oct. she was 12 yrs old and i loved her dearly. since she was an older dog she was really settled down. her personality was very sweet & calm.
after she died the house had that awful empty & sterile feeling. i was used to her being at my side and interacting with me. since i was all alone and so depressed i finally decided to get another yorkie pup. i guess secretly hoping that it would have a similiar personality to Kiva's.

well she didn't. Hailey's personality is exactly the opposite of Kiva. and i still miss Kiva so much.

after i got Hailey i was totally overwhelmed with having a puppy again. Kiva was so easy.......but Hailey was so hard. and i was still hurting so much from loosing Kiva and 3 other loved ones last year.
after having a tearful conversation with the vet he assured me that as time goes on i'll find so many things to love about Hailey. and he was right. i'm beginning to see many of her endearing qualities already. it just takes time to see them. and lots of patience with her training...lol

oh btw, i'm not a young kid either....i'm 57

[shelimcallister]

Great advice from everyone. I never felt that way at all but I am married and have a great helper. Marley will need a lot of attention and training at first but it gets easier as they get older. Max is 8 months and he is the best thing that ever happened to me! I love taking him everywhere...even on vacation.It will become a natural thing soon and you might even find places in your area to eat\drink that you can bring marley with. Max is way moore well behaved in public then at home.

[lovespandp]

Originally Posted by NrfnKiva

i want you to know that i just went through a period...about a month of feeling so overwhelmed that i seriously wondered if i had made the right decision on getting Hailey.

see, my yorkie Kiva died suddenly last Oct. she was 12 yrs old and i loved her dearly. since she was an older dog she was really settled down. her personality was very sweet & calm.
after she died the house had that awful empty & sterile feeling. i was used to her being at my side and interacting with me. since i was all alone and so depressed i finally decided to get another yorkie pup. i guess secretly hoping that it would have a similiar personality to Kiva's.

well she didn't. Hailey's personality is exactly the opposite of Kiva. and i still miss Kiva so much.

after i got Hailey i was totally overwhelmed with having a puppy again. Kiva was so easy.......but Hailey was so hard. and i was still hurting so much from loosing Kiva and 3 other loved ones last year.
after having a tearful conversation with the vet he assured me that as time goes on i'll find so many things to love about Hailey. and he was right. i'm beginning to see many of her endearing qualities already. it just takes time to see them. and lots of patience with her training...lol

oh btw, i'm not a young kid either....i'm 57

Aw your post made me sad, I am sorry you lost Kiva- I know it must be hard on you, I know Hailey can never be Kiva but Kiva will always have a special place in your heart... Sounds like you have room in your heart for another love- Hopefully Hailey can help your heart heal and get through the pain- Fill your heart with love and happiness again!

[Ringo1]

I have definitely felt like this before - when Ringo first came home - I was used to a gentle Maltese and here came this Westie - barging through the house; ignoring EVERYTHING I said; running and hiding from us; peeing and pooping everywhere. Ugh. It was a dog for my son but you know whose dog it really is.

It actually took me some time to bond with Ringo; I had so many other responsibilities with a child at the time. But playing together, agility training (fun!) and walking toghether helped form our bond.

When I brought Lucy home - it was tough because Ringo didn't necessarily WANT another dog in the house - so lots of contention and unpleasantness until they got used to one another.

I would say that your life will change - you now have a responsibility that you did not have. You should be able to out for drinks - but you may have to run home first and let your dog out, walk your dog, etc.

If you continue to feel as you do - then I would have a chat with my breeder.

[RileyDC]

Although I have never felt that way.... I would have to say that it is
completely normal to feel overwhelmed but please know that it really
does get easier.

Riley just turned 2-years old. I got him when he was 10 1/2 weeks old.
I was prepared for the time and energy it was going to take, knowing
that it would pay off in the end, and it really has.... We started our bond on day
one with our first trip, together, to Petsmart. I live in the city,
so I take him everywhere with me that I can and spend as much time as
possible with him. I took him to obedience training and that made our
bond even stronger. It really doesn't take them long to learn the
routine... and I think that once they do, it is easier to leave them alone
for a little bit.

Hang In There.... It Really Does Get Easier!!

I swear sometimes I think that Riley wants me to go out and run errands
so that HE can have some alone, quiet time.

[yorkietalkjilly]

My Jilly was a 4 1/2 mo. old Yorkie runt with many medical problems & I was told she would only grow to about 3 lbs. The breeder almost pressured me into getting her as she had so few people she would/could never place a tiny, delicate, extremely fragile dog with. She was runt-sized, thin, had bad conformation, looked like a twig & I was scared she would die. She was NOT the healthy, sturdy Yorkshire Terrier with flowing coat & gorgeous topknot I wanted & she never would be. My life stopped essentially for the first few weeks - and I called the breeder 2 or 3 times stating I just didn't know how well this would or could work out - mostly it was the fear & responsibility of living with a dog that was going to have ongoing medical problems, all the vet trips to be made, the worry, the end of life as I knew it, etc. She would encourage me, saying "Jilly is the dog you need, Jeanie. I know you." And she did - I'd known her for years by then & we spent literally hours talking frequently & I visited her often. But at that point, I really didn't love Jilly & she was not my Scotty - my first Yorkie, whom I still missed so, though it had been 5 long years since I lost him. He was the love of my life. He was incredible - and Jilly was definitely not Scotty.

Then, one day I came home & took her out of her crate & some kind of light switch turned on somewhere & wham, I was headoverheels in love with that scraggly little Yorkie! I adored her! It was a "moment in time" - one of those inexplicable things that happens & changes you forever. From that minute forward, Jilly & I were inseparable & I was totally devoted to her, took her everywhere with me, slept with her perched on one hip(no kidding), & could not wait to get home to her when I had to work or go out with friends/date, shopping. I nursed her through many bad medical conditions & terrible times & there were many, many vet trips - many a long night sitting up with her worrying, crying. There were those moments when I would realize she was well again & the joy that came with it. We'd made it over another hump! She went on vacations with me and before long, I thought she was the cutest dog on the planet - and so did everyone else. Everywhere we went people gushed over my "cute" tiny dog & people wanted to know where I got her all the time - yes, that thin, scraggly, sickly-looking little girl blossomed with love & care. She housebroke like a dream, was totally clean in the house & smart as a whip. When I was sick, injured, had bad times at work or with friends or family, Jilly was there licking my face, curling up on my lap. When my back went out & I was bedridden, she slept with her back against mine like a heating pad - she never left my side. At the end of a punishing day at work & a long, traffic-jammed trip home, Jilly was there jumping up & down, making me laugh.

The changes I made in my life were taken reluctantly at first but after a while, with relish - anything for Jilly. She was literally my best friend! She lived 12 1/2 years and I would do it all over in a heartbeat. I lost her Christmas Eve almost 10 years ago now. I still miss her so, even sometimes to the point of tears - still. We had such a special, special life together. She was an Angel from Heaven.

Same with Tibbe. I got him about 5 years after I lost Jilly. I went to get a healthy, fat little puppy & wound up with a 9 mos. old big "problem" dog, who'd spent 9 mos. in a cage outside all his life at another breeder's & had never been socialized. He was wild with fears, almost feral. The first 2-3 weeks I had him, it was so hard I literally didn't think I could make it! It was "love at first sight" with him when I first saw him & my rescue heart kicked in but I had buyer's remorse for a good while & that "love" sort of waned. But one day - "click" - on went the lightswitch all over again. Same story. He's my love, wouldn't trade him for any other dog on the planet & we're inseparable. He's my best friend in the world & I cannot imagine my life without him. He's everything Jilly & Scotty were to me. He's a ray of sunshine, like the best Christmas present you ever got as a child, a Little Angel gifted straight from God. He's my boy.

With dogs, unlike with our mates & with friends, you have no courtship - no getting to know them period over time, of learning what they are like. It is see them, select the one you want & then it is yours to bring home & care for, work out your relationship & life together. At times & especially sometimes at first, if you are someone like me, it takes a while. I don't give deep love easily - it is slow in coming - but when it does, it is that kind of love that says "forever" and it means everything.

Hang in there with your baby & let time, day-to-day living & that Yorkie & your heart work it all out. Real, lasting love is often just not automatic & takes a bit of time & work. But once it kicks in, that little dog will become your best friend in life & you won't believe the change in you. Here is hoping you are graced with a Scotty/Jilly/Tibbe-type relationship with your baby because if you are, you will be one happy, satisfied, blessed woman. ♥♥♥

[RileyDC]

Originally Posted by MarleyMyLove

You just don't know how it feels to read all the positivity and help you all have offerered. I am crying tears of happiness right now. My bestfriend just stopped by as well, she has a bully pit, 10 weeks, he drives her crazy, but she even said (she also has 3 kids) it gets better. Right now marley is biting my feet, he pooped in the hallway, and he is a bit insane with the things he choses to bite, but I swear...I dont want to drive back to the breeder and give him back. This was m choice. I live on a quiet neighborhood kinda block and almost everyone has a dog (huge dogs!) Surely I can do this like the rest of them, even if I am an only child. Thank you to everyone who said something to get me through this phase.....I go from being completely in love to just wanting to drive the 1 30mins to give him back. He is a mess, he drives me crazy, and right now he is getting in something, but I am starting to feel like I can't see this apt with out his stinkin butt. Everything happens for a reason, from day one it seemed destined for me to have him. Thank you to those who really considered how I felt in this, and who know that I love him with everything in me. And to those who inboxed me saying they feel the same way......I can vouch...it does get better. My day feels better already now that I have decided I am NOT giving him back to the breeder He is stuck with me, and the way he is licking my toes, I dont think he minds.

YAY!!