Regarding negativity at YT, and what is expected going forward

[candigirl]

Originally Posted by Britster

I still log on almost every day but it certainly doesn't feel the same. Even when I joined in 2008, it's changed a lot since then. I admit that I was always really oblivious to the drama I would see going on in the past, and never knew who said what or why, etc, but in the past 6 months, I HAVE noticed a different vibe. And then at one point, I somehow was part of drama, and there was a point when I did almost leave. I actually was in tears once and I was just done. However, I get bored... LOL, so I still pop in. And honestly, that's kind of sad... the main reason I come here is out of boredom or procrastinating, not so much for the friends or the good convos anymore. And I too was often afraid to post certain things anymore because to me, it wasn't even worth it to deal with. So I ended up just being like "screw it..." and posting anyways. But yep, I was very apprehensive to post certain things, and sometimes I would post things thinking they were fine and then be amazed when people would find an issue with it. So now I am just speaking my mind I guess.

Overall, I had to look at the big picture. And realize that only a few are not going to spoil it for me. And it sucks that a lot of posters I used to love and post a lot are not here anymore... so to me, the forum is getting very repetitive... newbies coming on asking the same questions over and over again, which is GREAT! We have to have new people, I was once one asking these questions, but I loved the comradery that also existed at the same time and I don't feel it's there so much anymore. Definitely just a different vibe to me... but it's okay, things change, people change, medicine changes, opinions change, people grow... It happens. I hope to stick around for a while here even if I don't post as much.

I completely understand where Brit is coming from. I remember that drama and speaking up in an attempt to defend Brit and then became attacked myself. Round and round we go and that's why people prefer to just stay quiet around here. I've said this before but i'm really glad you decided to stay Brit. I hope this thread will serve as a strong reminder to those more inclined to be at the center of such things.

I hope we can all approach one other with empathy, understanding and kindness. Be open to learning and educating ourselves on new subjects before forming opinions and being less judgmental. Great post Ann.

[Lil Sis]

Originally Posted by Baby Blessing

Bon I have stayed away from the negative postings but I just read what you posted and wanted to tell you what a nice thing to say to Brit, it takes a real big heart to do that and the wonderful lady you are, but you know we have always enjoyed our many postings with you and I am happy Ann did this thread hopefully it will bring people together, as it should
Hugs, Patti and Jack

Originally Posted by BonBon

This pretty much describes how I feel, too.

Actually Brit, I've wanted to apologize to you for a long time. I saw how you were being talked to, how badly you were being treated and I should have stepped in to back you up. I agreed with your points and your right to feel as you did but I was so tired of feeling beaten on myself that I stayed away and let you stand alone. I'm sorry.

very nice comments!

[Wylie's Mom]

I just want to say how great it is to read all these responses. I think the responses really speak to the best in all of us, ya know?

I did want to just point out a few things that I'd wish I'd said in the original post. By no means do we want anyone to take any of this personally; if this had been about 1 person, or 5 people - we would have dealt with it via PMs, and kept it more as a private exchange. So I hope that helps anyone who is taking this too much to heart, or personal. It has to do with a much bigger "mood" on the board, and it's not about specific recent threads - it's about many threads, over a long period of time.

Also, no one wants any of the members to feel like this means they can't stand up for what they believe in; a person can stand amazingly firm in their beliefs, while still offering up their opinion without anger and personal jabs. I think what we're requesting is reasonable and doable by all of us, it's a realistic request.

I doubt there is a single one of us who hasn't regretted something they've said here, I know I have - several times. Those instances taught me a ton about myself. What always amazes me though, is the willingness of everyone who says "I'm sorry for..." - and the other person "I'm sorry too for..." - a genuine apology goes a loooong way. And it really helps in mending the regret, on both sides.

At the end of the day, we've just gone a little too far for a little too long in being overly confrontational. And we all need to work on it so that people feel that this is a community for support, where questions can be asked and discussions can happen without retaliation or anger or emotion that goes too far. We all get emotional here, sometimes we all over-step the line - and we just need to do a better job of checking ourselves.

Anyway, thanks for being so open-minded about all of this .

[horsnaround]

Well said once again. None of us are perfect. And I believe we all can learn something we didn't know before. I respect everyone's opinion but in the end it's I who, do what I think is best for my best friends (my animals). I have learned a ton on this board. But I have also felt sorry for others. We all believe we are doing whats right. But if we all were perfect there would be no need for yorkie talk. And I need my Yorkie Talk
Love this group of people. Who love their dogs like I do..

[Bitsy]

I am very grateful for this thread. Thanks Ann.

[deonk1]

I'm glad to see this and hope we can all collectively work towards a more positive informative atmosphere as we move forward. I can agree with Brit. I now just come here out of boredom and procrastination too, too many times I see a title to a post and think to myself 'here we go again' I wont even bother reading past the first page cause I know where it's going.

I think we all need to remember that people need information, lack of knowledge by newbies or existing members is not a bad thing, considering they are coming here to get help and eliminate ignorance. Many times they just don't know better. I feel like often times people jump down the throats of those who ask "stupid" questions, but what happened to there being no such thing as a stupid question?

I hope we all set the goal to educate and welcome everyone into our YT family.

Thanks for the great reminder, glad to see we all agree this is an important issue as well.

[jacquelinebabco]

Ann, I have come to love you dearly and always stand in amazement of your commitment to this forum.
You are one in a million. Thanks for being there and jumping in on occasion to save those that need "a little help from their friends".
Your efforts are always appreciated by me.

[tinalove]

Thank you for the much needed reminder. I find it hurtful to read when someone is attacking another member who may not share the same views. This forum serves as a learning tool for many of us. It helped me to know what to look for in a breeder when selecting a puppy. I never knew that a puppy should not leave the litter until at least 12 weeks old. We all have valuable opinions. There are some breeders here and I think they should not be attacked by their methods. If they are following breed guidelines , why are they attacked. Also not every owner wants to spay and neuter their pets. I believe in spaying and neutering but I can't bash another person who does not. Lets us remember we are all as unique as our adorable pets we come here to talk about!

[Maximo]

Originally Posted by jacquelinebabco

Ann, I have come to love you dearly and always stand in amazement of your commitment to this forum.
You are one in a million. Thanks for being there and jumping in on occasion to save those that need "a little help from their friends".
Your efforts are always appreciated by me.

I second your post. Ann is one in a million, and I too appreciate her commitment to this forum, and her leadership and friendship.

[LunasMomma]

Thank you Ann. I think that is good advice for everyone. The only thing I would add is that it is VERY hard to discern someone's "tone" from typed font. So if everyone would just re-read what they've written before clicking "post", it might save some hurt feelings or misinterpretations. I know that I have been guilty of speed-posting myself, and what I meant to be a joke was taken to be insulting

I don't post much, as I seem to kill threads but I do read here almost every day, and have much love for YT and 99,9% of the members here

[nanahas3]

Thank you for this thread. I too have been attacked when I was very new to this forum for questioning a breeder who bred tinies and almost didn't come back. I was very confused as a new yorkie owner and just wanted answers. That being said I am sure I have like many others made comments I wish I could take back because I worded them wrong and realized after I posted that they might offend someone. If I have I would like to say now how very sorry I am for this.

[MommytoMiles]

Originally Posted by nanahas3

Thank you for this thread. I too have been attacked when I was very new to this forum for questioning a breeder who bred tinies and almost didn't come back. I was very confused as a new yorkie owner and just wanted answers. That being said I am sure I have like many others made comments I wish I could take back because I worded them wrong and realized after I posted that they might offend someone. If I have I would like to say now how very sorry I am for this.

Oh yes!!! I would imagine that would be a hot topic here lol!!! You were not in the wrong for posing a legitimate question and should not have been attacked!!!

[normarae63]

Originally Posted by LunasMomma

Thank you Ann. I think that is good advice for everyone. The only thing I would add is that it is VERY hard to discern someone's "tone" from typed font. So if everyone would just re-read what they've written before clicking "post", it might save some hurt feelings or misinterpretations. I know that I have been guilty of speed-posting myself, and what I meant to be a joke was taken to be insulting

I don't post much, as I seem to kill threads but I do read here almost every day, and have much love for YT and 99,9% of the members here

No way! I thought I was the only thread killer around here!

I'll comment again to say it's nice that I'm able to see I've not been alone in feeling there are tons of very knowledgeable people here on YT.

[Mystick]

I wanted to thank you for posting this, because you've made me want to try posting here again. I found this forum quite some time back, but was afraid to post. When I finally did post an intro, I didn't even receive 1 single response, although there were several views, so I didn't feel welcome at all. I stayed, because I did find some of the information helpful and my Yorkie is my absolute pride, but I wouldn't contribute to any topics. He's now 15 months old and I would love to share his crazy antics with fellow Yorkie lovers.

Michelle

[TxVicki]

Originally Posted by Mystick

I wanted to thank you for posting this, because you've made me want to try posting here again. I found this forum quite some time back, but was afraid to post. When I finally did post an intro, I didn't even receive 1 single response, although there were several views, so I didn't feel welcome at all. I stayed, because I did find some of the information helpful and my Yorkie is my absolute pride, but I wouldn't contribute to any topics. He's now 15 months old and I would love to share his crazy antics with fellow Yorkie lovers.

Michelle

Hi Michelle, I am sorry you didn't receive any responses to your original post.

I want to say welcome to you and your baby. I hope you start posting.