Boyfriend Won't Let Furbabies Sleep In Bed :(

[gracielove]

I have always trained my dogs very well and have never had a stray pee or poo in my bed. A dog that has been trained properly does not just urinate or defecate at will. I keep my home and my dog clean and they smell clean as well.

I have known people who are so "sensitive" to scent that they would only allow dogs to be tied out back to a dog house. They were so "clean" but their back yard stunk up the neighborhood because they were too "clean" and smell free to go out and clean up after their hostage dog. Truly a person with such issues should not even own a dog.

It is very easy these days to prefer a dog in the bed instead of some of the losers out there in the human market. The OP had only started dating this person. No one should change their lifestyle for someone they just met. That should be an obvious conclusion since the relationship has already ended. It is totally irresponsible to advise anyone to comply with the demands of a partner that they hardly know just to obtain a human in the bed.

[BabyGirl Rosie]

Originally Posted by gracielove

I have always trained my dogs very well and have never had a stray pee or poo in my bed. A dog that has been trained properly does not just urinate or defecate at will. I keep my home and my dog clean and they smell clean as well.

I have known people who are so "sensitive" to scent that they would only allow dogs to be tied out back to a dog house. They were so "clean" but their back yard stunk up the neighborhood because they were too "clean" and smell free to go out and clean up after their hostage dog. Truly a person with such issues should not even own a dog.

It is very easy these days to prefer a dog in the bed instead of some of the losers out there in the human market. The OP had only started dating this person. No one should change their lifestyle for someone they just met. That should be an obvious conclusion since the relationship has already ended. It is totally irresponsible to advise anyone to comply with the demands of a partner that they hardly know just to obtain a human in the bed.

[Giorgismom]

This thread is kinda weird but Giorgio is crated at night, even if he's not feeling well, I just get up and check on him. I dont want to foster any habits that I cant break later.

Some people are sensitive to pet smells if they are not used to it. I know someone's house I refuse (and wont allow my sons to go either) because they have a cat. I am allergic to them and putting them away isnt really enough. To each its own.

[lillymae]

Originally Posted by BabyGirl Rosie

It was much more than him smelling the dogs. He HATED them according to her post. If he hates them and they are a part of her life, well there is a huge problem. I guess my feelings on that is if you don't like my dogs then don't come to my house. They are part of me and my life. Both of my girls are in bed with me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am blessed that I have a wonderful DH who loves me enough to love my girls.

I totally agree. The dogs are already there so nothing you can do about that except to rehome them & that IMO would not have been the responsible thing to do. What if it were a baby ? They spit up & no matter what you do, they still smell like spit up, unless you fully bath them Every time they spit up & some babies spit up allot & that would not be too good for their sensitive skin. IMO people who love animals would simply not ever be happy with a non animal person & people who don't like dogs have something seriously WRONG in their heads, so why would you want to be with them anyway.I just gotta say too that I have never had a dog pee or poo on my bed & I have 5 at this time & IMO that sounds a bit neurotic to me, JMHO

[chachi]

Originally Posted by slahey2000

Wow! Thanks for all of the great replies, I see that I'm not alone with this problem! The good news is that the new guy already got the boot, and Linus and Kimchee never got kicked out of the bed It turned out that the new guy HATED Linus and Kimchee because they apparently smell bad (they don't! Well, maybe Linus has morning breath, but, give a dog a break!), he was mad that he had to wash his clothes after he was at my house because apparently he was covered in "dog smell," and he would only be ok with things if Linus & Kimchee didn't sleep in the bed, didn't lick him, and WEREN'T IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM! They. Are. Dogs. Seriously.

Good learning experience though, I'm only considering dog-lovers in the future. I mean, dogs are basically pure joy and love jumping around on 4 legs -- how can you not love that? Major red flag.

Anyway, problem solved -- thanks for all of the advice!

Men like that expect women to jump through hoops for them and make women miserable. You were wise to be rid of him

[Yorkiemom1]

I was confident the babies would out last the "man"...they always do!

[BabyGirl Rosie]

Originally Posted by Giorgismom

This thread is kinda weird but Giorgio is crated at night, even if he's not feeling well, I just get up and check on him. I dont want to foster any habits that I cant break later.

Some people are sensitive to pet smells if they are not used to it. I know someone's house I refuse (and wont allow my sons to go either) because they have a cat. I am allergic to them and putting them away isnt really enough. To each its own.

I understand allergies completely. However, he knew the dogs were there BEFORE. So, it isn't like he didn't know. I agree with lilymae, the other option would have been to rehome the pups because he was never going to like them if he stayed around. If you have pets you need to end up with someone who likes the pets or it will never work. Now, agreeing with chachi, she would end up being miserable anyway with him. Obviously a control freak!

IMHO, I think saying the smell bothered him would just be an excuse. He HATED the pups and would use any excuse to get rid of them. The OP made a wise decision as he would have made her life a living He double hockey sticks!

[Britster]

Exactly. It's not that I think it's, like... disgraceful or something if someone's dog does NOT sleep in their bed. To each their own. But to come INTO a relationship, knowing the other person has a dog, and knowing it sleeps in the bed, etc, is different.

If I had been in a serious relationship or married, and THEN we together decided to get a dog, and hubby did not want a dog in the bed - I'd respect that and have set boundaries from the beginning with the dog. However, I am currently single, Jackson has been sleeping in my bed for 3 years and I don't plan on nor do I WANT to change that. So if I meet a guy, and he's really that disgusted by a little dog, well then he's not the guy for me. Because then I know for the many years to come, that he would be miserable with a huge part of my life.

To me, that would almost be like if a woman went into a relationship with a man who had kids. Let's say this man has had a schedule of having his kids every other weekend for the past 5 years, but suddenly this new woman does not like this schedule and tries to tell him to change it because "the kids are making a mess of the house..." - I don't think it's right. And if she can't accept the kids at this point, she probably never will. Might as well not even get too involved.

I don't need a spouse who is going to be as big of a dog lover as I am, or into dog related activities, and whatnot... but they would need to at the minimum NOT be worried about "pet smell" (esp. on my non-shedding, 15lb dog who gets a bath often) or him sharing my side of the bed. Ideally, I would be with someone who could love Jackson and want to spend time with him though.

[DvlshAngel985]

Originally Posted by Britster

Exactly. It's not that I think it's, like... disgraceful or something if someone's dog does NOT sleep in their bed. To each their own. But to come INTO a relationship, knowing the other person has a dog, and knowing it sleeps in the bed, etc, is different.

If I had been in a serious relationship or married, and THEN we together decided to get a dog, and hubby did not want a dog in the bed - I'd respect that and have set boundaries from the beginning with the dog. However, I am currently single, Jackson has been sleeping in my bed for 3 years and I don't plan on nor do I WANT to change that. So if I meet a guy, and he's really that disgusted by a little dog, well then he's not the guy for me. Because then I know for the many years to come, that he would be miserable with a huge part of my life.

To me, that would almost be like if a woman went into a relationship with a man who had kids. Let's say this man has had a schedule of having his kids every other weekend for the past 5 years, but suddenly this new woman does not like this schedule and tries to tell him to change it because "the kids are making a mess of the house..." - I don't think it's right. And if she can't accept the kids at this point, she probably never will. Might as well not even get too involved.

I don't need a spouse who is going to be as big of a dog lover as I am, or into dog related activities, and whatnot... but they would need to at the minimum NOT be worried about "pet smell" (esp. on my non-shedding, 15lb dog who gets a bath often) or him sharing my side of the bed. Ideally, I would be with someone who could love Jackson and want to spend time with him though.

[gemy]

Good for you OP, for getting rid of that BF, who proved he wasn't a dog lover.

But I will say, as I posted earlier, if your intended is loving of dogs, wants to work, play, care for them; but puts a halt on doggies being in bed; then I personally think that is reasonable.

As posted earlier, I have my doggies in bed for a bit of loving time, then they go to their crates or doggie beds on the floor.

I personally would be much more concerned, if my intended thought that vet care and the $$ associated with that were crazy, or nobody should spend more than $xx on the care of a dog. I would kick to the curb that person in a flash faster, than if my BF didn't want dogs to sleep in the bed with us.

[Lydianev]

Yeah, my then boyfriend (14 years ago), now husband, said that too...needless to say the dogs sleep in the bed, nuff said!

[Rockinkaj]

Originally Posted by Tessa327

ahhhhaha! LOL!!! That's some solid advice...

I'll stick with furbabies, they'll never leave me

Excellent!! ha so true!! I say dump the boyfriend

[oliver44]

wow, i was going to post without even looking at any other posts, but saw them as i scrolled down & not surprising i soooooo agree, if he will not sleep with your pups it is screaming to me DUMP HIM, i am pretty sure i am older than you & have learned a lot, if someone dosen't like animals they are not nice & will not treat you nice. sorry i am not a fanatic dog person but at least be alerted to many red flags, i would kick him out of my bed way before my babies, think about it!!!!! good luck, so don't mean to be harsh, he could be ok???????, but weary hope it is ok

[BabyFidgette]

Good job, girlfriend! It's better that he wasn't fakey fake nice to them, get you to fall in love with him, and then treat the dogs like crap! At least he was honest and didn't waste your time! Onto the next!

Originally Posted by slahey2000

Wow! Thanks for all of the great replies, I see that I'm not alone with this problem! The good news is that the new guy already got the boot, and Linus and Kimchee never got kicked out of the bed It turned out that the new guy HATED Linus and Kimchee because they apparently smell bad (they don't! Well, maybe Linus has morning breath, but, give a dog a break!), he was mad that he had to wash his clothes after he was at my house because apparently he was covered in "dog smell," and he would only be ok with things if Linus & Kimchee didn't sleep in the bed, didn't lick him, and WEREN'T IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM! They. Are. Dogs. Seriously.

Good learning experience though, I'm only considering dog-lovers in the future. I mean, dogs are basically pure joy and love jumping around on 4 legs -- how can you not love that? Major red flag.

Anyway, problem solved -- thanks for all of the advice!

[Marilize]

I always thought that these things would come naturally with the right guy, but they don't. Some people don't like small dogs and until they do, it's up to you to get everyone in your life to live together happily. That's if you think this guy is worth it.

My boyfriend doesn't like the dogs sleeping in my bed because he's a really light sleeper who gets woken up every time that the dogs move on the bed. We made a compromise - he is building a big doggie palace with heating, light, a porch and a balcony for the dogs and I am letting them sleep in their own beds when he's here.

Find something that works for you both, if he's worth the effort.