Dud is not happy w/ his NEW brother... - YorkieTalk.com Forums

143julz · 12-06-2010, 10:19 AM

We got Dudley’s brother home Friday night. Dexter is 14wks today and full of energy, always wanting to play or be on our lap.

Dudley (2 ½ yr) wants absolutely nothing to do with him.

Dex will run or pounce to Dud when he’s off the sofa, but Dud just runs the other way (tail tucked) & gets right back up. Guess who learned to use the sofa steps already?

When Dex goes up we put him back on the floor so Dud has some place for refuge.

It’s sad to watch b/c I know Dex wants to meet him and play w/ him and Dud isn’t interested. Dud hasn’t been himself, which I expected, but I feel so horrible for them both, Dex b/c we have held back from cooing and play w/ him like we do Dud. We try and do everything for Dud first, but if Dex comes anywhere near while we’re doing for Dud, Dud just honkers down and runs away, like he’s afraid of Dex??

We even took Dud for his own bye-bye y-day and when we got back, there was Dex, tail wagging ready to go, Dud just gave him the hind end, up the steps.
Bed time, Dud sleeps w/ us and Dex in a crate, Dex is soo good at night.
Outside, it is different,

Dud will allow Dex to follow him, which is helping us w/ potty’s…Dex is smart and is already catching on to that.

I’ve done so much reading, researching and pondering to even get another one for so long, I hope I didn’t make a mistake….

Can you give me suggestions on how to get Dudley to come around, I know I can’t force it. My DH was not 100% in favor of adding another JUST for THIS REASON. I sure wouldn’t want him to be right and me wrong.

Rachael x · 12-06-2010, 10:26 AM

When I first brought Poppy home my Schnauzer cross wanted nothing to do with her and was really huffy for a few weeks.
Then she started to put Poppy in her place, its taken over all around 2 months for Jess to be comfertable around her.
They are friends now but I know how upsetting it was at first, good luck.

ArmaniMan · 12-06-2010, 10:29 AM

I brought Chloe home when Armani was 2 years old. He HATED her, every chance he got to be near her he literally tried to eat her. It was horrible, I was literally in tears for days because I didn't know what I was going to do.

I ended up setting up Chloe's ex pen in the living room (the room we are in most often) this way she was in the same room with us but Armani couldn't actually get to her. He would sniff at her through the pen sometimes and if he sniffed without growling he got a treat. I would bring her out for very short periods (5-10 minutes at a time) and let them interact with very close supervision. Slowly these periods worked up to longer and longer sessions.

At some point, they just started playing and loving and now they are the best of friends- literally laying together and loving, kissing, or playing every chance they get.

Give them each plenty of alone time, Make sure Dudley gets lots of love and kisses, and don't force anything and hopefully over time he will learn having a little brother is loads of fun.

Good Luck

Maximo · 12-06-2010, 10:30 AM

The best advice I can offer is don't be discouraged, and give the situation time. Our challenges adding a second were different from yours, so I don't have any specific suggestions beyond what you are already doing, but time did resolve all of the problems. Admittedly, some of the problems were fixed quickly, others took a few months.

Hang in there and give Dudley loads of loving and patience.

My Sophia · 12-06-2010, 10:37 AM

Sophia was an only child for almost six years so when I brought Gulliver home she was less than enthusiastic to say the least. He was four months and wanted to play play play and she did like your Dudley is doing, run away with tail tucked. We just continued to put her first, first treats, first greeting when we got home, etc. It took about a month but now they get along great. They actually just got done with a 20 minute bout of wrestling and chase around the living room. Soph still likes her own space when she sleeps and won't curl up with him and he still gets on her nerves once in a while so she has to put him in his place, but otherwise I'm very happy with how they get along. I'd say just keep doing what you're doing and give it time. It's not going to happen overnight but they'll find their place. You'll start noticing little things at first and then one day something will click. And congrats on the new baby.

AllDogBoots · 12-06-2010, 10:57 AM

It's going to be ok. You need to be very patient. Just keep treating Dudley like he's the king. It took my Cooper a few weeks to even approach Max and today they are the best of friends. Give it some time and keep doing what you are doing.

143julz · 12-06-2010, 11:42 AM

Thanks ya'll,

I'm sure hoping Dud finds his way with Dex, because there is nothing more upsetting than seeing your kids not get along (just Dud)and to think it's over something I WANTED....but i swear I heard Dud telling me he wanted it too

Maybe I'll just pitch a tent and camp outside for the next month, Dud is okay w/ him being around outside, it's inside when it seems he can't get away...far, far away

Ladymom · 12-06-2010, 11:53 AM

How is Dud with other dogs? Does he enjoy playing with them? If he does, he'll probably come around. Just keep doing what you are doing and give it time.

FlDebra · 12-06-2010, 12:04 PM

Have patience. My experience is the new pup often takes 2-4 weeks to gain acceptance from the older dog. You sound like you are doing it right -- giving the older dog some along time and space from the little one. The puppies are persistent and they usually win over the older dog in time. Don't worry.

MaddiesMommie · 12-06-2010, 12:23 PM

I love the names you have chosen for your boys.

very cute

I had the same problems with my girls when we added Cooper. She was hyper and ready to play while Maddie acted like she couldn't be in the same room with her Cooper was about 15 weeks and Maddie was closer to 2 years.

I did what you are already doing. ~Took them outside together~Took Maddie on her own special bye-bye trips whenever possible~Kept her in the bed with us as she was used to, Cooper stayed in her crate~ALWAYS fed and gave Maddie treats first~Made sure to make contact or greet Maddie first when I came in~Made sure she had areas of escape she could get to and Cooper was not allowed.

It took a month or so before they actually played together. What a beautiful moment that was too.

Keep doing what you're doing and I am sure your Dudley will come around. He will realize he is not being replaced and his life is not going to change, only get better with a brother.

kjc · 12-06-2010, 03:58 PM

You could force a welcome... hold the pup and allow Dudley to sniff his butt while you're holding him so Dud feels safe and free from attack... Then reverse and allow the pup to sniff Dud's butt while you're holding Dudley..... just a formality but once done seems the ice is broken... If it doesn't help... no harm done....just continue to make the Dudster feel like a King!

AllDogBoots · 12-06-2010, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kjc

You could force a welcome... hold the pup and allow Dudley to sniff his butt while you're holding him so Dud feels safe and free from attack... Then reverse and allow the pup to sniff Dud's butt while you're holding Dudley..... just a formality but once done seems the ice is broken... If it doesn't help... no harm done....just continue to make the Dudster feel like a King!

Great advice! I forgot that's what we did when we bought Max home. We also introduced them outside on neutral ground. I bet that's why Dudley is more comfortable outside - it's more neutral territory.

memphis10 · 12-06-2010, 04:24 PM

It takes a few weeks for a new pet to settle in. We have 4 dogs and we always have expected up to a month for the house to settle in to a new routine. I'm sure they'll be best buds in no time.

Ringo1 · 12-06-2010, 05:04 PM

Oh, give it some time. Ringo was not too thrilled with Lucy when she first came hom either. He was four years old.

It took about a month before things settled down. I had serious second thoughts.

And we had to work at it as well; as others have mentioned. Walk them together as soon as you are able; treat your first dog like the KING to help ease his jealousy; make sure he gets some alone time without he pup; help to initiate their play together when he settles down.

It will work out!

TxVicki · 12-06-2010, 05:04 PM

I know with my Lizzie she was 2 1/2yrs old, when we adopted our first Yorkie who was 8 yrs old, she did well with her, I think she sensed that Audrey hadn't had a good life. Same as when we adopted Annie about a year after that. BUT when I brought a 12 week old Shayleigh into the picture, all 3 of them wanted nothing to do with this wild thing that was running around. They all jumped up on the couch or bed to stay away from her. Things seemd to change about 2-3 months later and then they all got along fine.
I know withe new Rescue I just adopted (Willow) who is 5 yrs old, there was no problem at all with her fitting in. I think the reason for that may be because Lizzie and Annie were mourning and depressed over the loss of Molly a few weeks before.

I know it will all work out.

12-06-2010, 10:19 AM	#1
143julz Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 1,294	Dud is not happy w/ his NEW brother... We got Dudley’s brother home Friday night. Dexter is 14wks today and full of energy, always wanting to play or be on our lap. Dudley (2 ½ yr) wants absolutely nothing to do with him. Dex will run or pounce to Dud when he’s off the sofa, but Dud just runs the other way (tail tucked) & gets right back up. Guess who learned to use the sofa steps already? When Dex goes up we put him back on the floor so Dud has some place for refuge. It’s sad to watch b/c I know Dex wants to meet him and play w/ him and Dud isn’t interested. Dud hasn’t been himself, which I expected, but I feel so horrible for them both, Dex b/c we have held back from cooing and play w/ him like we do Dud. We try and do everything for Dud first, but if Dex comes anywhere near while we’re doing for Dud, Dud just honkers down and runs away, like he’s afraid of Dex?? We even took Dud for his own bye-bye y-day and when we got back, there was Dex, tail wagging ready to go, Dud just gave him the hind end, up the steps. Bed time, Dud sleeps w/ us and Dex in a crate, Dex is soo good at night. Outside, it is different, Dud will allow Dex to follow him, which is helping us w/ potty’s…Dex is smart and is already catching on to that. I’ve done so much reading, researching and pondering to even get another one for so long, I hope I didn’t make a mistake…. Can you give me suggestions on how to get Dudley to come around, I know I can’t force it. My DH was not 100% in favor of adding another JUST for THIS REASON. I sure wouldn’t want him to be right and me wrong. __________________ Dudley Doo and Dexter too!!! RIP (12/93-10/08) MY LIL JULZ!!!

12-06-2010, 10:26 AM	#2
Rachael x Poppy's Mamma ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: England Posts: 3,751 Blog Entries: 3	When I first brought Poppy home my Schnauzer cross wanted nothing to do with her and was really huffy for a few weeks. Then she started to put Poppy in her place, its taken over all around 2 months for Jess to be comfertable around her. They are friends now but I know how upsetting it was at first, good luck. __________________ Rachael & Poppy

12-06-2010, 10:57 AM	#6
AllDogBoots Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Delray Beach, FL Posts: 7,984	It's going to be ok. You need to be very patient. Just keep treating Dudley like he's the king. It took my Cooper a few weeks to even approach Max and today they are the best of friends. Give it some time and keep doing what you are doing. __________________ I'm Karen - Devoted Mama to the Drama Boyz - Cooper & Max www.alldogboots.com

12-06-2010, 11:42 AM	#7
143julz Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 1,294	Thanks ya'll, I'm sure hoping Dud finds his way with Dex, because there is nothing more upsetting than seeing your kids not get along (just Dud)and to think it's over something I WANTED....but i swear I heard Dud telling me he wanted it too Maybe I'll just pitch a tent and camp outside for the next month, Dud is okay w/ him being around outside, it's inside when it seems he can't get away...far, far away __________________ Dudley Doo and Dexter too!!! RIP (12/93-10/08) MY LIL JULZ!!!

12-06-2010, 11:53 AM	#8
Ladymom Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 8,317	How is Dud with other dogs? Does he enjoy playing with them? If he does, he'll probably come around. Just keep doing what you are doing and give it time. __________________ http://www.myladysdogbows.com/ http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref...6213341?ref=nf

12-06-2010, 10:29 AM	#3
ArmaniMan I ♥ Armani & Chloe Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 3,895	I brought Chloe home when Armani was 2 years old. He HATED her, every chance he got to be near her he literally tried to eat her. It was horrible, I was literally in tears for days because I didn't know what I was going to do. I ended up setting up Chloe's ex pen in the living room (the room we are in most often) this way she was in the same room with us but Armani couldn't actually get to her. He would sniff at her through the pen sometimes and if he sniffed without growling he got a treat. I would bring her out for very short periods (5-10 minutes at a time) and let them interact with very close supervision. Slowly these periods worked up to longer and longer sessions. At some point, they just started playing and loving and now they are the best of friends- literally laying together and loving, kissing, or playing every chance they get. Give them each plenty of alone time, Make sure Dudley gets lots of love and kisses, and don't force anything and hopefully over time he will learn having a little brother is loads of fun. Good Luck

12-06-2010, 10:30 AM	#4
Maximo ♥ Maximo and Teddy Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 25,041	The best advice I can offer is don't be discouraged, and give the situation time. Our challenges adding a second were different from yours, so I don't have any specific suggestions beyond what you are already doing, but time did resolve all of the problems. Admittedly, some of the problems were fixed quickly, others took a few months. Hang in there and give Dudley loads of loving and patience.

12-06-2010, 10:37 AM	#5
My Sophia YT Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Las Vegas, NV, USA Posts: 467	Sophia was an only child for almost six years so when I brought Gulliver home she was less than enthusiastic to say the least. He was four months and wanted to play play play and she did like your Dudley is doing, run away with tail tucked. We just continued to put her first, first treats, first greeting when we got home, etc. It took about a month but now they get along great. They actually just got done with a 20 minute bout of wrestling and chase around the living room. Soph still likes her own space when she sleeps and won't curl up with him and he still gets on her nerves once in a while so she has to put him in his place, but otherwise I'm very happy with how they get along. I'd say just keep doing what you're doing and give it time. It's not going to happen overnight but they'll find their place. You'll start noticing little things at first and then one day something will click. And congrats on the new baby.

12-06-2010, 12:04 PM	#9
FlDebra Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL Posts: 7,651	Have patience. My experience is the new pup often takes 2-4 weeks to gain acceptance from the older dog. You sound like you are doing it right -- giving the older dog some along time and space from the little one. The puppies are persistent and they usually win over the older dog in time. Don't worry. __________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard

12-06-2010, 12:23 PM	#10
MaddiesMommie LoveMy2 Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: East Tennessee Posts: 4,060	I love the names you have chosen for your boys. very cute I had the same problems with my girls when we added Cooper. She was hyper and ready to play while Maddie acted like she couldn't be in the same room with her Cooper was about 15 weeks and Maddie was closer to 2 years. I did what you are already doing. ~Took them outside together~Took Maddie on her own special bye-bye trips whenever possible~Kept her in the bed with us as she was used to, Cooper stayed in her crate~ALWAYS fed and gave Maddie treats first~Made sure to make contact or greet Maddie first when I came in~Made sure she had areas of escape she could get to and Cooper was not allowed. It took a month or so before they actually played together. What a beautiful moment that was too. Keep doing what you're doing and I am sure your Dudley will come around. He will realize he is not being replaced and his life is not going to change, only get better with a brother.

12-06-2010, 03:58 PM	#11
kjc I♥PeekTinkySaph&Finny Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 18,866	You could force a welcome... hold the pup and allow Dudley to sniff his butt while you're holding him so Dud feels safe and free from attack... Then reverse and allow the pup to sniff Dud's butt while you're holding Dudley..... just a formality but once done seems the ice is broken... If it doesn't help... no harm done....just continue to make the Dudster feel like a King! __________________ Kat Chloe Lizzy PeekABooTinkerbell SapphireInfinity

12-06-2010, 04:24 PM	#13
memphis10 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Edmonton, Canada Posts: 58	It takes a few weeks for a new pet to settle in. We have 4 dogs and we always have expected up to a month for the house to settle in to a new routine. I'm sure they'll be best buds in no time.

12-06-2010, 05:04 PM	#14
Ringo1 Ringo (1) and Lucy too! Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: On the Edge of Glory Posts: 3,447	Oh, give it some time. Ringo was not too thrilled with Lucy when she first came hom either. He was four years old. It took about a month before things settled down. I had serious second thoughts. And we had to work at it as well; as others have mentioned. Walk them together as soon as you are able; treat your first dog like the KING to help ease his jealousy; make sure he gets some alone time without he pup; help to initiate their play together when he settles down. It will work out! __________________ Mommy to Lucy, Ringo, and Matthew

12-06-2010, 05:04 PM	#15
TxVicki Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: At Home Posts: 8,386	I know with my Lizzie she was 2 1/2yrs old, when we adopted our first Yorkie who was 8 yrs old, she did well with her, I think she sensed that Audrey hadn't had a good life. Same as when we adopted Annie about a year after that. BUT when I brought a 12 week old Shayleigh into the picture, all 3 of them wanted nothing to do with this wild thing that was running around. They all jumped up on the couch or bed to stay away from her. Things seemd to change about 2-3 months later and then they all got along fine. I know withe new Rescue I just adopted (Willow) who is 5 yrs old, there was no problem at all with her fitting in. I think the reason for that may be because Lizzie and Annie were mourning and depressed over the loss of Molly a few weeks before. I know it will all work out. __________________ [SIZE="3"VICKI & ALLIE[/SIZE]