How to tell your family about new pup??? - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

coolbar · 07-24-2009, 01:49 PM

go for it

They will end up loving your dog as much as you do

Patti · 07-24-2009, 05:54 PM

Just do it!! I was the same way, my Mom would always say when I lost a dog, now don't go out and get another one. We never told my Mom how much anything cost because she grew up in England during the war and was very poor and really didn't understand how much things really cost. I had My pom and wanted a yorkie again and I was afraid to tell her but did and she was saying now you will have 2 to worry about and cost you money. When I added Pixie I never told her as she sadly passed away 6 weeks after I got her and I knew she would be upset if I told her and she was not in good health so I didn't want her to worry. Shortly after she passed my dtr says to me I guess Nana knows about Pixie now. She would have flipped if she knew I then got Roxie!!! I really love having multiple dogs and if I can afford them and take care of them it is no ones business, but I totally know how you feel. By the way I am 56 so it never goes away!!

sarahheartmaddy · 07-24-2009, 06:00 PM

When DH and I got Maddy, my mom was like "the last thing you need is another dog!" She has never been a dog person, but likes some dogs. Now Maddy is her Grand-dog, she buys her bling and special treats and comes over just to see Maddy!! I say go for it!! Congrats!

FlDebra · 07-25-2009, 12:26 AM

As long as you don't owe them any money, I don't see why they should worry about how you spend your money, especially since you are married and have your own home. Maybe it will be a good opportunity to let them know nicely but firmly that you are now an adult and you and your husband will make your own decisions about where your money is spent.

I would approach it as a non-problem. Don't be afraid of telling them. If they do react negatively, then let them know you need to talk. Put this and any other time they have tried to interfere in how you and your husband spend your money on the table and explain in no uncertain terms that you appreciate their concern, but this has to stop. They need to trust that you two can make your own decisions. Let them know they have done a great job parenting and now you are ready to be independent.

I guess I really don't understand trying to control a married offspring's spending. I would have a problem interfering even if I thought they were creating a debt. I had early financial discussions with my grown children, but it was more in the way of general advice about not getting in to debt, keeping credit cards to a minimum and not letting interest eat you alive. I would never dream of telling them not to buy something they wanted. My parents never did with me either.

oopsmyhalofello · 07-25-2009, 06:53 PM

My Mother is like that big time, not only with dogs but with my kids too. The first 4 times I told her I was pregnant she gave me a lecture about affording children (I never ever borrowed money from her). My fifth pregnancy I waited to tell her because I didn't want to hear her out it. When she did found out through someone else she was upset I hadn't told her (I think she finally got it.. to late though). Now she pretty much voices her opinions but then lets it go.

And whomever it was that said it will never end it totally spot on

mjharpst · 07-25-2009, 07:10 PM

My parents have two and my sister who still lives at home has one. I got married over a year ago and moved out just before the wedding. I had Roxie then, and it was a huge debate- but they didnt seem to mind after the fact because I took her everywhere with me and took good care of her at home. Back in March we added Ryder and my parents thought that was an awful decision, but Roxie has done so much better having him around and he has been the best puppy ever.

We have now decided to add another pup and I was talking with my mom about it on the phone the other night and she went on this tangent with my dad about not bringing them all over. The way they were talking was as if I was still living at home. I just told them that this was our decision and that we think it is a good one- and we were getting him anyway.

It is funny though because although they dont like that we have the two they act like they are grandbabies- babysitting, buying goodies all the time, and my goodness my dad is just plain hilarious with them. So in the end it will all work out!

mjharpst · 07-25-2009, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlDebra

As long as you don't owe them any money, I don't see why they should worry about how you spend your money, especially since you are married and have your own home. Maybe it will be a good opportunity to let them know nicely but firmly that you are now an adult and you and your husband will make your own decisions about where your money is spent.

I would approach it as a non-problem. Don't be afraid of telling them. If they do react negatively, then let them know you need to talk. Put this and any other time they have tried to interfere in how you and your husband spend your money on the table and explain in no uncertain terms that you appreciate their concern, but this has to stop. They need to trust that you two can make your own decisions. Let them know they have done a great job parenting and now you are ready to be independent.

I guess I really don't understand trying to control a married offspring's spending. I would have a problem interfering even if I thought they were creating a debt. I had early financial discussions with my grown children, but it was more in the way of general advice about not getting in to debt, keeping credit cards to a minimum and not letting interest eat you alive. I would never dream of telling them not to buy something they wanted. My parents never did with me either.

You made some great points, but I think that parents have a hard time letting go and knowing boundaries after we are off and starting our own lives, and to stop parenting but just give us advice- my parents still act like I am living at home- and we dont even live that close. LOL Good post though!

LilMissy · 07-25-2009, 10:21 PM

When I take Missy to my Mom's house I set up a little area for her. I have a thick durable plastic mat (meant for children). It's big, and on it I open up her x-pen and put her crate, food and water, and some toys. It worked great for us!

RachelandSadie · 07-26-2009, 07:31 PM

Well thanks to all the help and comments. I told them today and they were fine with it, mom thought i'd have my hands full, but that i'd be less lonely and dad doesn't understand the breed well (he told me coats were silly and she's never learn to adapt to the winter if i put her in coats) i tried to tell him about her not growing a second layer coat, but you know how daddies know everything...

anyways, it went well, no money complaints and they were just wanting me to be happy and not worry about getting myself in to deep...

i think in a few weeks they'll let her stay at their house on the inside back porch like i said!!

So yea we're thrilled....one/two more weeks

nanahas3 · 07-26-2009, 11:38 PM

I am so glad your parents excepted the new furbaby. It's funny I am 55 and used to be so concerned and yes even get a little irritated at my dad for voicing his opinion but I lost him a little over a year ago and hon I can tell you I would give anything to hear him give me his opinion again.

RachelandSadie · 07-27-2009, 05:19 AM

i'm sorry to hear that, and i know that i'd feel the same way. he can be a little opinionated, but that's where i got it from as well, so i guess i only butt heads with him because we're almost the same personality type. i love my dad more every day, he's become so much more loving and wonderful that i could have ever imagined, since I've been married we've gotten closer due to me missing him and him really missing me. i'm sorry you have lost your daddy, but i hope that you'll see him again and spend forever with him someday!!

Thanks for putting me in the right mindset to always "listen" to my father even when i'm not going to "hear" what he wants to say...

07-24-2009, 05:54 PM	#17
Patti Donating YT 30K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 35,509 Blog Entries: 6	Just do it!! I was the same way, my Mom would always say when I lost a dog, now don't go out and get another one. We never told my Mom how much anything cost because she grew up in England during the war and was very poor and really didn't understand how much things really cost. I had My pom and wanted a yorkie again and I was afraid to tell her but did and she was saying now you will have 2 to worry about and cost you money. When I added Pixie I never told her as she sadly passed away 6 weeks after I got her and I knew she would be upset if I told her and she was not in good health so I didn't want her to worry. Shortly after she passed my dtr says to me I guess Nana knows about Pixie now. She would have flipped if she knew I then got Roxie!!! I really love having multiple dogs and if I can afford them and take care of them it is no ones business, but I totally know how you feel. By the way I am 56 so it never goes away!! __________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html

07-25-2009, 12:26 AM	#19
FlDebra Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL Posts: 7,651	As long as you don't owe them any money, I don't see why they should worry about how you spend your money, especially since you are married and have your own home. Maybe it will be a good opportunity to let them know nicely but firmly that you are now an adult and you and your husband will make your own decisions about where your money is spent. I would approach it as a non-problem. Don't be afraid of telling them. If they do react negatively, then let them know you need to talk. Put this and any other time they have tried to interfere in how you and your husband spend your money on the table and explain in no uncertain terms that you appreciate their concern, but this has to stop. They need to trust that you two can make your own decisions. Let them know they have done a great job parenting and now you are ready to be independent. I guess I really don't understand trying to control a married offspring's spending. I would have a problem interfering even if I thought they were creating a debt. I had early financial discussions with my grown children, but it was more in the way of general advice about not getting in to debt, keeping credit cards to a minimum and not letting interest eat you alive. I would never dream of telling them not to buy something they wanted. My parents never did with me either. __________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard

07-25-2009, 06:53 PM	#20
oopsmyhalofello Just Pawz Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Liverpool, NY Posts: 1,827	My Mother is like that big time, not only with dogs but with my kids too. The first 4 times I told her I was pregnant she gave me a lecture about affording children (I never ever borrowed money from her). My fifth pregnancy I waited to tell her because I didn't want to hear her out it. When she did found out through someone else she was upset I hadn't told her (I think she finally got it.. to late though). Now she pretty much voices her opinions but then lets it go. And whomever it was that said it will never end it totally spot on __________________

07-25-2009, 07:10 PM	#21
mjharpst YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,061	We had a similar situation My parents have two and my sister who still lives at home has one. I got married over a year ago and moved out just before the wedding. I had Roxie then, and it was a huge debate- but they didnt seem to mind after the fact because I took her everywhere with me and took good care of her at home. Back in March we added Ryder and my parents thought that was an awful decision, but Roxie has done so much better having him around and he has been the best puppy ever. We have now decided to add another pup and I was talking with my mom about it on the phone the other night and she went on this tangent with my dad about not bringing them all over. The way they were talking was as if I was still living at home. I just told them that this was our decision and that we think it is a good one- and we were getting him anyway. It is funny though because although they dont like that we have the two they act like they are grandbabies- babysitting, buying goodies all the time, and my goodness my dad is just plain hilarious with them. So in the end it will all work out! __________________ Meagan Ryder, Roxie, & Prince

07-25-2009, 10:21 PM	#23
LilMissy Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 3,421	When I take Missy to my Mom's house I set up a little area for her. I have a thick durable plastic mat (meant for children). It's big, and on it I open up her x-pen and put her crate, food and water, and some toys. It worked great for us! __________________ Shaunna with Missy (my princess) & Dora (my tomboy)

07-24-2009, 01:49 PM	#16
coolbar YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: England Posts: 490	go for it They will end up loving your dog as much as you do

07-24-2009, 06:00 PM	#18
sarahheartmaddy BANNED FOR TAKING MONEY AND NOT SHIPPING PRODUCTS SOLD!!! Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 1,827	When DH and I got Maddy, my mom was like "the last thing you need is another dog!" She has never been a dog person, but likes some dogs. Now Maddy is her Grand-dog, she buys her bling and special treats and comes over just to see Maddy!! I say go for it!! Congrats!

07-26-2009, 07:31 PM	#24
RachelandSadie No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Kansas City, MO Posts: 5,748	I told them!!! Well thanks to all the help and comments. I told them today and they were fine with it, mom thought i'd have my hands full, but that i'd be less lonely and dad doesn't understand the breed well (he told me coats were silly and she's never learn to adapt to the winter if i put her in coats) i tried to tell him about her not growing a second layer coat, but you know how daddies know everything... anyways, it went well, no money complaints and they were just wanting me to be happy and not worry about getting myself in to deep... i think in a few weeks they'll let her stay at their house on the inside back porch like i said!! So yea we're thrilled....one/two more weeks

07-26-2009, 11:38 PM	#25
nanahas3 ♥Love My Snuggle Bugs♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 4,290	I am so glad your parents excepted the new furbaby. It's funny I am 55 and used to be so concerned and yes even get a little irritated at my dad for voicing his opinion but I lost him a little over a year ago and hon I can tell you I would give anything to hear him give me his opinion again. __________________ *CharleneMama to Laddy and Kyra and Always in our hearts Lolita*

07-27-2009, 05:19 AM	#26
RachelandSadie No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Kansas City, MO Posts: 5,748	i'm sorry to hear that, and i know that i'd feel the same way. he can be a little opinionated, but that's where i got it from as well, so i guess i only butt heads with him because we're almost the same personality type. i love my dad more every day, he's become so much more loving and wonderful that i could have ever imagined, since I've been married we've gotten closer due to me missing him and him really missing me. i'm sorry you have lost your daddy, but i hope that you'll see him again and spend forever with him someday!! Thanks for putting me in the right mindset to always "listen" to my father even when i'm not going to "hear" what he wants to say...