Anyone have Military husbands/Boyfriends?? - YorkieTalk.com Forums

PokadotsLover · 05-07-2007, 09:29 PM

I just need to tell me story to someone, I figured here is a good place!

Ok, so I've had terrible luck with guys in the past and decided to try this whole "online dating" thing. As uneasy as I was about the situation.
I recently started talking to a very nice guy who happens to be in the army and stationed in Hawaii. I am very interested in him, more so than I would have ever thought possible so soon.
We actually talk on and off all day, between instant messaging and texting with a phone call at night. We seem to have hit it off and hes asking me to come meet him.
Well just a few days ago he found out he may possibly be getting deployed to Iraq and if so it will be a 15-18 month tour. Im sure that if things keep going as good as they have been I'll be dating him for awhile. I Cant imagine being away from someone I care for for that amount of time.

Just curious If any of you have boyfriend/husbands that are deployed or have been and what helped you get through..

bornnygurl · 05-07-2007, 09:35 PM

I would have to say being around friends and family helps out a lot. It's a great support system so that you are never completely alone. Also, keeping yourself constantly busy helps at times. It may be hard to believe but after they are gone for so long (for several tours) you eventually adjust and kinda get use to them being gone. Not that you don't miss them, though

.

Good luck with your relationship though. Being a military wife/girlfriend is far from easy.

PokadotsLover · 05-07-2007, 09:43 PM

You know My brother in law is in the marines and I know its far from easy for my sister. I also have a brother in the air force. Crazy thing is I always said Id never date someone who was in the military just because I know how hard it was not seeing my brother, or when my sisters husband was deployed the 1st and 2nd time.
Then I find an amazing guy who I cant wait to meet and everything changes in an instant. Life is so crazy!

Dior'sMom · 05-08-2007, 02:07 AM

I have been with my partner for 5 yrs. We met in 2002, 3 month before heading to boot camp for the NAVY. They haven't been on any long tours as yet but have been out to sea through out the relationship for 45 days or less.
Its very stressful at times, beacuse u have to plan your life around their schedule and miss out on a few things, but i wouldn't change it for the world

You have to be in it mentally or else you wouldn't be able to deal with it. Keep busy so you dont worry and stress out. And most importantly let them know u care and miss them dearly. (They need to hear it or read it). Good luck!

Peters · 05-08-2007, 04:07 AM

i couldnt see dating a stranger from online you have never met. but i guess absense make the heart fonder

Zoey's Momma · 05-08-2007, 04:57 AM

I use to date a guy for 4 years who was in the Navy. It didn't work out. He cheated on me with some girl on the ship and married her 8 months later.

Don't let my situation change how you feel about him. My new bf rescued me from all the heartache. Now i'm as happy as I could ever be!

Like someone posted eariler, be ready to the times where hecan't talk to you as much as you like. But trust me, when you do, it's worth the wait.

OLIVIA_KARHIS · 05-08-2007, 05:22 AM

Being a military wife/girlfriend is far from easy.You just have to roll with what they toss at you and deal with it.

My boyfriend at the time (now hubby) got sent to Iraq the 2nd yr into a relationship. I was going off to collage, so keeping my mind on school and hanging with my friends, helped a lot. Him getting scent off made are relationship stronger. If you can make it through a little over a year apart, then y'all should be able to make it through anything. Just keep your self Busy and let him know you care and miss him. Also dally e-mails letting him know you are thinking about him and what you are doing also helps to let him know you care and you are waiting on him when he gets back.

AngelWorks · 05-08-2007, 05:47 AM

Okay----I will be married to The Hubster six years this August.

A guy I never met off the internet.

I was in NH-- he in London.

I was 39 at the time, he was 29.

I had been married once before and had a ten year old son--- him; never married no kids and baby of his family so no children experience.

He moved here to be with my son and I (leaving all he's ever known) after more than a year long process of paperwork etc... with the INS.

I just moved to NY Jan. first after he's spent the last three years working and living six days a week here in NY.

My son, now 18 adores him and has a relationship with him that astounds us all-- including his father--but that's a story for another day.

All I'm saying is:

Even when a relationship has so many things that appear to be against it working out- like ours--listen to your gut--when it's right, it's right and no one is going to live your life but you.

ladybugg74 · 07-24-2007, 04:12 PM

I am in the military and it is terrible to be away for so long. I went to Turkey for 3 1/2 months and believe me that was long enough. We were not married yet. We moved in an apartment together in July and then I was deployed in December. I then went back to Turkey for a month a year later and also got deployed to Hurrican Katrina relief for a month.

ladybugg74 · 07-24-2007, 04:15 PM

Oh, what helped me get through it....I got to talk to him a lot by phone through military lines so we did not have to pay anything. Also had mail and email access. He made me a cd of our songs and sent to me. I would listen to that when it was time for bed daily. I also took pictures with me. It was great coming home.

Ivhana · 07-24-2007, 04:42 PM

I have to agree with the keeping busy. I probably would have gone bonkers if I hadn't had my daughter or enrolled in college. Family was also a big plus. We were lucky enough to move near my n-laws before he had to leave. So g'ma was able to babysit.

Luck and timing were certainly with us. We've never had the chance to live close to relatives since.

The computer was also a big life line for us. We emailed as much as possible. Sent digital pics and had web cam "dates".

Watch those phone bills! Online relationships can work out. We've been married close to 10 years now.

cheryl000 · 07-24-2007, 06:03 PM

We were both in the military. My hubby went on two deployments. I would give myself something to look forward every 3 or 4 weeks. So instead of being depressed about my man not being home for 6 whole months I said... "Wow, I'm so excited, my sister will be here in 3 weeks!" It broke it down and it was much easier to deal with. I always had something great to look forward to until he was finally home.

I have met several good friends off of the internet. Make sure you meet in public, or better yet, with another friend. If you're having a date and don't want the extra third wheel, have a friend at least meet the person face to face and tell them when you expect to be home. Also, always care some emergency cash just in case you need to end the date quick and catch a cab home.

Good luck. Generally the military guys are good ones.

gutu28 · 07-24-2007, 07:11 PM

My boyfriend of 2+ years, Travis is in the Georgia Army National Guard. Lucky for me, I met him AFTER he got back from his 9 month deployment to Kuwait. I know it's something that is in our future, but I dont like to think about it! Good luck to you, though!

Tinker'sMommy · 07-24-2007, 10:23 PM

My husband is in the Army, he's been in for almost 15 years now and we have been married almost 13 years

We have been together for 15 years going on 16

He has been to Korea twice (without me or the kids, for 1 year at a time) Once to Bosnia, the Lord has blessed our family because he hasn't been to Iraq yet ( knock on wood, I hope he never does). But it is your personal choice. It's not easy but it's not impossible

05-07-2007, 09:29 PM	#1
PokadotsLover Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: California Posts: 175	Anyone have Military husbands/Boyfriends?? I just need to tell me story to someone, I figured here is a good place! Ok, so I've had terrible luck with guys in the past and decided to try this whole "online dating" thing. As uneasy as I was about the situation. I recently started talking to a very nice guy who happens to be in the army and stationed in Hawaii. I am very interested in him, more so than I would have ever thought possible so soon. We actually talk on and off all day, between instant messaging and texting with a phone call at night. We seem to have hit it off and hes asking me to come meet him. Well just a few days ago he found out he may possibly be getting deployed to Iraq and if so it will be a 15-18 month tour. Im sure that if things keep going as good as they have been I'll be dating him for awhile. I Cant imagine being away from someone I care for for that amount of time. Just curious If any of you have boyfriend/husbands that are deployed or have been and what helped you get through.. __________________ Bandit Sent His to New York. Bandit Lulu I disappeared for a month and 1/2..but im back and boy did i miss yt!

05-07-2007, 09:43 PM	#3
PokadotsLover Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: California Posts: 175	You know My brother in law is in the marines and I know its far from easy for my sister. I also have a brother in the air force. Crazy thing is I always said Id never date someone who was in the military just because I know how hard it was not seeing my brother, or when my sisters husband was deployed the 1st and 2nd time. Then I find an amazing guy who I cant wait to meet and everything changes in an instant. Life is so crazy! __________________ Bandit Sent His to New York. Bandit Lulu I disappeared for a month and 1/2..but im back and boy did i miss yt!

05-08-2007, 02:07 AM	#4
Dior'sMom Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,900	I have been with my partner for 5 yrs. We met in 2002, 3 month before heading to boot camp for the NAVY. They haven't been on any long tours as yet but have been out to sea through out the relationship for 45 days or less. Its very stressful at times, beacuse u have to plan your life around their schedule and miss out on a few things, but i wouldn't change it for the world You have to be in it mentally or else you wouldn't be able to deal with it. Keep busy so you dont worry and stress out. And most importantly let them know u care and miss them dearly. (They need to hear it or read it). Good luck! __________________ Proud Mom 2 Dior

05-08-2007, 04:07 AM	#5
Peters YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,225	i couldnt see dating a stranger from online you have never met. but i guess absense make the heart fonder __________________ A pet's love is true right from the start, through good times and bad, like sharing one heart.

05-08-2007, 04:57 AM	#6
Zoey's Momma Luv My Butterflies Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The Big Easy Posts: 2,083	I use to date a guy for 4 years who was in the Navy. It didn't work out. He cheated on me with some girl on the ship and married her 8 months later. Don't let my situation change how you feel about him. My new bf rescued me from all the heartache. Now i'm as happy as I could ever be! Like someone posted eariler, be ready to the times where hecan't talk to you as much as you like. But trust me, when you do, it's worth the wait. Last edited by Zoey's Momma; 05-08-2007 at 04:58 AM.

05-07-2007, 09:35 PM	#2
bornnygurl No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,470	I would have to say being around friends and family helps out a lot. It's a great support system so that you are never completely alone. Also, keeping yourself constantly busy helps at times. It may be hard to believe but after they are gone for so long (for several tours) you eventually adjust and kinda get use to them being gone. Not that you don't miss them, though . Good luck with your relationship though. Being a military wife/girlfriend is far from easy.

05-08-2007, 05:22 AM	#7
OLIVIA_KARHIS Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: GERMANY Posts: 1,544	Being a military wife/girlfriend is far from easy.You just have to roll with what they toss at you and deal with it. My boyfriend at the time (now hubby) got sent to Iraq the 2nd yr into a relationship. I was going off to collage, so keeping my mind on school and hanging with my friends, helped a lot. Him getting scent off made are relationship stronger. If you can make it through a little over a year apart, then y'all should be able to make it through anything. Just keep your self Busy and let him know you care and miss him. Also dally e-mails letting him know you are thinking about him and what you are doing also helps to let him know you care and you are waiting on him when he gets back. __________________ Bunny &Bella Supporting The Troops

05-08-2007, 05:47 AM	#8
AngelWorks Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: NY Posts: 1,752	Okay----I will be married to The Hubster six years this August. A guy I never met off the internet. I was in NH-- he in London. I was 39 at the time, he was 29. I had been married once before and had a ten year old son--- him; never married no kids and baby of his family so no children experience. He moved here to be with my son and I (leaving all he's ever known) after more than a year long process of paperwork etc... with the INS. I just moved to NY Jan. first after he's spent the last three years working and living six days a week here in NY. My son, now 18 adores him and has a relationship with him that astounds us all-- including his father--but that's a story for another day. All I'm saying is: Even when a relationship has so many things that appear to be against it working out- like ours--listen to your gut--when it's right, it's right and no one is going to live your life but you.

07-24-2007, 04:12 PM	#9
ladybugg74 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,054	I am in the military and it is terrible to be away for so long. I went to Turkey for 3 1/2 months and believe me that was long enough. We were not married yet. We moved in an apartment together in July and then I was deployed in December. I then went back to Turkey for a month a year later and also got deployed to Hurrican Katrina relief for a month. __________________ Heather - Mamma to Gracie & Hallee

07-24-2007, 04:15 PM	#10
ladybugg74 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,054	Oh, what helped me get through it....I got to talk to him a lot by phone through military lines so we did not have to pay anything. Also had mail and email access. He made me a cd of our songs and sent to me. I would listen to that when it was time for bed daily. I also took pictures with me. It was great coming home. __________________ Heather - Mamma to Gracie & Hallee

07-24-2007, 04:42 PM	#11
Ivhana Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: VA Posts: 286	I have to agree with the keeping busy. I probably would have gone bonkers if I hadn't had my daughter or enrolled in college. Family was also a big plus. We were lucky enough to move near my n-laws before he had to leave. So g'ma was able to babysit. Luck and timing were certainly with us. We've never had the chance to live close to relatives since. The computer was also a big life line for us. We emailed as much as possible. Sent digital pics and had web cam "dates". Watch those phone bills! Online relationships can work out. We've been married close to 10 years now. __________________ Ivy, Mommy to Brody!

07-24-2007, 06:03 PM	#12
cheryl000 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: none Posts: 1,495	We were both in the military. My hubby went on two deployments. I would give myself something to look forward every 3 or 4 weeks. So instead of being depressed about my man not being home for 6 whole months I said... "Wow, I'm so excited, my sister will be here in 3 weeks!" It broke it down and it was much easier to deal with. I always had something great to look forward to until he was finally home. I have met several good friends off of the internet. Make sure you meet in public, or better yet, with another friend. If you're having a date and don't want the extra third wheel, have a friend at least meet the person face to face and tell them when you expect to be home. Also, always care some emergency cash just in case you need to end the date quick and catch a cab home. Good luck. Generally the military guys are good ones.

07-24-2007, 07:11 PM	#13
gutu28 Lovin' the Cali kisses! Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Lawrenceville, Georgia Posts: 2,990	My boyfriend of 2+ years, Travis is in the Georgia Army National Guard. Lucky for me, I met him AFTER he got back from his 9 month deployment to Kuwait. I know it's something that is in our future, but I dont like to think about it! Good luck to you, though! __________________ Larissa and Cali Let's go Georgia Bulldogs!

07-24-2007, 10:23 PM	#14
Tinker'sMommy YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Fort Hood, Texas Posts: 2,107	My husband is in the Army, he's been in for almost 15 years now and we have been married almost 13 years We have been together for 15 years going on 16 He has been to Korea twice (without me or the kids, for 1 year at a time) Once to Bosnia, the Lord has blessed our family because he hasn't been to Iraq yet ( knock on wood, I hope he never does). But it is your personal choice. It's not easy but it's not impossible __________________ TINKERBELL, CHIQUITO, AND MOMMY MICKIE