How do I know if he is missing her? - YorkieTalk.com Forums

joeys mom · 10-27-2010, 06:33 PM

While traveling on vacation, we stopped for gas, and while I was getting Joey from the backseat, Cabella pulled back on her lead and slipped out of her collar. Needless to say we went up the road, back down, then down the ramp and back up, missing a vehicle, then she ran down the road, and as a semi came down to turn in she darted under he wheels, of course the truck driver could not have done anything and I understand that but the guilt I feel is terrible. We had moved to the country and Cabella could run on the 4 acres we have and she had toned up quite a bit, and she had Never pulled back on the leash like that and she was on it weekly traveling from TN to VA and back. I should have checked that collar, but I didn't.

Now for the real reason I am posting this thread. How do I know if Joey is suffering from Cabella not being here? He seems pretty normal, just is demanding most of my time to play fetch with his new Duckies we picked up for him while on vacation. He is eating, but less than before. He also now sleeps with me and before I would crate he and Cabella and he would be up by 6:10am, barking for them to go outside. Now, Joey will sleep until 9am if he is in bed with me. He used to be so excited to go out, but now I have to go out, call him and walk into the yard with him. Does this seem normal to you guys or am I just looking for trouble that isn't there. It's hard to believe, he would do all of the barking just for her, but that may just be his way. I have been thinking about bringing my daughters pom down and let them spend some time together, she is now working and Tiff is home alone all day to. But Joey really does seem to be ok. I was just hoping you guys could give me some advise, or if you have had some experience with the loss of one loved one leaving the other behind and would share this with me. Thank You, Sharon and Joey

boopster · 10-27-2010, 09:52 PM

First, I'm so sorry about your little Cabella. That had to be horrifying for you.

How could Joey not be missing her? I don't know if suffering is exactly the right description, but to suddenly be an only dog is a pretty big change and it will take some adjustment. Dogs may not fully understand the loss of a family member, but they do know that person/pet is suddenly missing. My Bungee spent a lot of time looking for each of my parents after their deaths (10 years apart). The void in their lives has to be filled by something -- attention from other family members, new pets, or even sleeping more.

I think if you give Joey enough attention, he will be just fine. A new companion to play with - even "borrowed" - could be a good thing if he's open to it.

kjc · 10-28-2010, 12:49 AM

I'm so very sorry for your loss of little Cabella, may she rest in Peace.

From your description, he does seem to be missing her, but not to the extent that it will be detrimental to his health. He may have transferred his feelings for her to you, or you may be helping to fill the void, if that makes any sense. I've read of worse cases where the surviving pup will go off feed entirely, won't play at all, and lays around all the time. He seems to be functioning at a fairly high level, so he misses her, but he's still doing what he needs to do on a daily basis.

Lisa and Pic · 10-28-2010, 01:27 AM

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Sending deep sympathy...

I am sure this has been tough on Joey, too. Sounds like you are doing everything possible to make his life positive right now.

Micah my love · 10-28-2010, 02:56 AM

So sorry for your loss

DamSweet · 10-28-2010, 03:39 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine how your heart must hurt - you and Joey are in my thoughts and prayers!

felicity1008 · 10-28-2010, 03:43 AM

it must have been so terrible...i am so sorry for you you and Joey

Princes mom · 10-28-2010, 05:30 AM

I am so sorry to hear about Cabella. She is resting in peace now. I understand how Joey feels, he really misses her and is trying to deal with her absence. My prayers are with you, Joey and your family.

Roccosmommy · 10-28-2010, 05:39 AM

I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. I am sure that Joey is adjusting to Cabella being gone...it sounds like he lost a bit of spring in his step. I'd be curious to see how he interacts with your daughter's Pom and if she brings him back to his old self. Best wishes to you and your family.

YorkieRose · 10-28-2010, 06:16 AM

So sorry to hear about your loss....
Joey's world is not the same and he is not sure why. I am sure he misses his companion...but dogs are very lucky, they can adjust much faster then humans...having a play friend could be a bright spot in his day...best wishes

Patti · 10-28-2010, 07:40 AM

I am so sorry for the heartbreaking loss of Cabella. I had a Pom my one yorkie was really attached to and she seemed quieter than usual at first, but adjusted pretty quickly.

joeys mom · 10-29-2010, 05:32 PM

Thank you to each of you that posted, I wanted to respond last night, but I seemed to want to do nothing but cry each time I tried to start a post, and I finally gave up. Joey and I made the trip from TN to VA and he whined like I have never heard him do. It wasn't a loud one but more muffled. This is the first time we have ever taken the car without Cabella being with us and I don't know if it even had anything to do with her, but it was so sad....Tomorrow, Tiffany will join me and Joey at the house, so I really hope she will help Joey adjust into our new routine without our sweet little girl. Well she wasn't so little she weighed about 10lbs, and was all muscle....such a free spirited girl...But you guys are the best, just to let me vent.....again, thank each of you sooooo muchhhhh. BTY Joey goes to see his son at the vets office tomm. and Dr. Taylor will check him out....Joey and Cabella had a litter of puppies and our vet just had to have one of them, so we are close to them, so Joey and Stife will have some play time together, then we will pick up the Tiffster and hopefully he will play his legs off tomm, they should at least sleep well.....Love and Licks, Sharon and Joey

Pateut · 10-29-2010, 06:48 PM

I am so sorry for your loss! My experience is with my brother and his dogs. He had two black labs, Mab, the oldest and then Sab which was a rescue dog. Mab became ill and died suddenly. Sab had not been the same, he was mopey, he wouldn't go outside without my brother being there. My brother said at the time he wouldn't get another dog because he didn't ever want to have to go through that again. I stayed over at his house one night and brought Celine, my brother loved her. I told him how wonderful she was. Sab was interested but stand offish and she is so much smaller than a lab. Anyway long story short, he got a yorkie. I agreed to take her and potty train her and bring her to him on weekends. At first Sab wasn't sure what to think, then I swapped it for Skye only coming to my house on the weekend. Now? Sab protects her like no other. Skye sleeps on his back, if my brother is putting a bow in her hair and she complains Sab gives my brother a hard time. Sab looks like a totally different dog now, he holds his head up high, he is playful again it has been the most awesome experience. And my brother? He is so bonded to her, he calls her his little Diva

So yes, to me from the sounds of it your baby seems depressed. We really didn't realize how much it affected Sab until recently when we saw the big turn around. I wanted to show a picture but I can't figure out how to attach it to here.
[IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Petra/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-9.png[/IMG][IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Petra/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-10.png[/IMG][IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Petra/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-11.png[/IMG]

yorkieusa · 10-29-2010, 08:46 PM

Of course, he is grieving, too. He seems, from your description, to be quieter and not to be having the fun he was used to before. He is sad and yes he misses her.

I'm so sorry you lost her. I know you'll try to put the spark back in his life again. He is probably feeling very lonely. He doesn't understand where she went.

BobbieD · 10-29-2010, 09:47 PM

I am a firm believer that animals grieve! When I was a kid I had a german shepard named Skrapper. We took in a couple of ducklings from my aunt and raised them during the summer. While gone to the store some neighborhood dogs killed the ducks. Our german sheppard had been tied on a lead and had tangled himself up in knots trying to save the ducks (we found one tucked under him, but he had gotten it too late). Skrapper got very depressed and slept in their pool for months until we got him a new puppy to care for. Not suggesting you run out and get a puppy, but I have first hand experience that dogs can grieve a loss in the same manner that humans can.

Sorry for your loss.

10-27-2010, 06:33 PM	#1
joeys mom YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Richlands, VA Posts: 269	How do I know if he is missing her? While traveling on vacation, we stopped for gas, and while I was getting Joey from the backseat, Cabella pulled back on her lead and slipped out of her collar. Needless to say we went up the road, back down, then down the ramp and back up, missing a vehicle, then she ran down the road, and as a semi came down to turn in she darted under he wheels, of course the truck driver could not have done anything and I understand that but the guilt I feel is terrible. We had moved to the country and Cabella could run on the 4 acres we have and she had toned up quite a bit, and she had Never pulled back on the leash like that and she was on it weekly traveling from TN to VA and back. I should have checked that collar, but I didn't. Now for the real reason I am posting this thread. How do I know if Joey is suffering from Cabella not being here? He seems pretty normal, just is demanding most of my time to play fetch with his new Duckies we picked up for him while on vacation. He is eating, but less than before. He also now sleeps with me and before I would crate he and Cabella and he would be up by 6:10am, barking for them to go outside. Now, Joey will sleep until 9am if he is in bed with me. He used to be so excited to go out, but now I have to go out, call him and walk into the yard with him. Does this seem normal to you guys or am I just looking for trouble that isn't there. It's hard to believe, he would do all of the barking just for her, but that may just be his way. I have been thinking about bringing my daughters pom down and let them spend some time together, she is now working and Tiff is home alone all day to. But Joey really does seem to be ok. I was just hoping you guys could give me some advise, or if you have had some experience with the loss of one loved one leaving the other behind and would share this with me. Thank You, Sharon and Joey

10-28-2010, 12:49 AM	#3
kjc I♥PeekTinkySaph&Finny Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 18,866	I'm so very sorry for your loss of little Cabella, may she rest in Peace. From your description, he does seem to be missing her, but not to the extent that it will be detrimental to his health. He may have transferred his feelings for her to you, or you may be helping to fill the void, if that makes any sense. I've read of worse cases where the surviving pup will go off feed entirely, won't play at all, and lays around all the time. He seems to be functioning at a fairly high level, so he misses her, but he's still doing what he needs to do on a daily basis. __________________ Kat Chloe Lizzy PeekABooTinkerbell SapphireInfinity

10-28-2010, 01:27 AM	#4
Lisa and Pic ♥ Piccolo & Vivi ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 14,311	I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Sending deep sympathy... I am sure this has been tough on Joey, too. Sounds like you are doing everything possible to make his life positive right now. __________________ Lisa, Dixie, and Jazzy (RIP Piccolo and Vivi)

10-28-2010, 02:56 AM	#5
Micah my love Donating YT 100K Club Member & Top YorkieTalk Poster! Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: western KY Posts: 108,935	So sorry for your loss __________________ Betty & Micah my love + Yogi

10-28-2010, 03:39 AM	#6
DamSweet Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Erie, PA, USA Posts: 1,236 Blog Entries: 1	I am so very sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine how your heart must hurt - you and Joey are in my thoughts and prayers! __________________ Proud member of the CrAzYcLuB Donna......owned by Bridget and Greta (and wouldn't have it any other way!)

10-27-2010, 09:52 PM	#2
boopster Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Southern California, USA Posts: 1,643 Blog Entries: 1	First, I'm so sorry about your little Cabella. That had to be horrifying for you. How could Joey not be missing her? I don't know if suffering is exactly the right description, but to suddenly be an only dog is a pretty big change and it will take some adjustment. Dogs may not fully understand the loss of a family member, but they do know that person/pet is suddenly missing. My Bungee spent a lot of time looking for each of my parents after their deaths (10 years apart). The void in their lives has to be filled by something -- attention from other family members, new pets, or even sleeping more. I think if you give Joey enough attention, he will be just fine. A new companion to play with - even "borrowed" - could be a good thing if he's open to it.

10-28-2010, 03:43 AM	#7
felicity1008 YT Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: farmingdale, nj, monmouth Posts: 433	it must have been so terrible...i am so sorry for you you and Joey

10-28-2010, 05:30 AM	#8
Princes mom YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Georgia Posts: 4,566	I am so sorry to hear about Cabella. She is resting in peace now. I understand how Joey feels, he really misses her and is trying to deal with her absence. My prayers are with you, Joey and your family. __________________ Prince, rest in peace. We miss you and love you so much.

10-28-2010, 05:39 AM	#9
Roccosmommy Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1,293	I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. I am sure that Joey is adjusting to Cabella being gone...it sounds like he lost a bit of spring in his step. I'd be curious to see how he interacts with your daughter's Pom and if she brings him back to his old self. Best wishes to you and your family. __________________ "The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all your emotions into." ~ Bruce Schimmel

10-28-2010, 06:16 AM	#10
YorkieRose No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: South Florida Posts: 8,577	So sorry to hear about your loss.... Joey's world is not the same and he is not sure why. I am sure he misses his companion...but dogs are very lucky, they can adjust much faster then humans...having a play friend could be a bright spot in his day...best wishes

10-28-2010, 07:40 AM	#11
Patti Donating YT 30K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 35,509 Blog Entries: 6	I am so sorry for the heartbreaking loss of Cabella. I had a Pom my one yorkie was really attached to and she seemed quieter than usual at first, but adjusted pretty quickly. __________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html

10-29-2010, 05:32 PM	#12
joeys mom YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Richlands, VA Posts: 269	Thank you to each of you that posted, I wanted to respond last night, but I seemed to want to do nothing but cry each time I tried to start a post, and I finally gave up. Joey and I made the trip from TN to VA and he whined like I have never heard him do. It wasn't a loud one but more muffled. This is the first time we have ever taken the car without Cabella being with us and I don't know if it even had anything to do with her, but it was so sad....Tomorrow, Tiffany will join me and Joey at the house, so I really hope she will help Joey adjust into our new routine without our sweet little girl. Well she wasn't so little she weighed about 10lbs, and was all muscle....such a free spirited girl...But you guys are the best, just to let me vent.....again, thank each of you sooooo muchhhhh. BTY Joey goes to see his son at the vets office tomm. and Dr. Taylor will check him out....Joey and Cabella had a litter of puppies and our vet just had to have one of them, so we are close to them, so Joey and Stife will have some play time together, then we will pick up the Tiffster and hopefully he will play his legs off tomm, they should at least sleep well.....Love and Licks, Sharon and Joey

10-29-2010, 08:46 PM	#14
yorkieusa Crazy about Kacee! Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 21,173	Of course, he is grieving, too. He seems, from your description, to be quieter and not to be having the fun he was used to before. He is sad and yes he misses her. I'm so sorry you lost her. I know you'll try to put the spark back in his life again. He is probably feeling very lonely. He doesn't understand where she went. __________________ Karen Kacee Muffin 1991-2005 Rest in Peace My Little Angel

10-29-2010, 09:47 PM	#15
BobbieD Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Alaska Posts: 31	I am a firm believer that animals grieve! When I was a kid I had a german shepard named Skrapper. We took in a couple of ducklings from my aunt and raised them during the summer. While gone to the store some neighborhood dogs killed the ducks. Our german sheppard had been tied on a lead and had tangled himself up in knots trying to save the ducks (we found one tucked under him, but he had gotten it too late). Skrapper got very depressed and slept in their pool for months until we got him a new puppy to care for. Not suggesting you run out and get a puppy, but I have first hand experience that dogs can grieve a loss in the same manner that humans can. Sorry for your loss.