YorkieTalk Gift Exchange - Open for Suggestions!

[Gypsy & Me]

Originally Posted by Izzy Princess

However I do have a problem with people not letting the sender know that their package arrived. How hard is it to post a simple PM telling the sender they rec'd the package after all the time and $$ put into it - and thoughtfullness. I get it that sometimes you can't post pics or threads right away but for heaven's sake please people let the sender know you got their package. That's when I would say ADMIN if you can't do that then you should not be participating in future GEs. Or I have no problem if the sender says they are running late on sending and notify all parties involved like ADMIN so that they can notify the recipient.

I agree members should PM their buddy and let them know they received their package and there should be a time limit on sending that PM, along with a time limit on posting a thank you thread. I believe it's already in the rules that you should PM admin and let them know if you have a problem sending your package out on time already.

[QuickSilver]

From what I understand, the thank you threads are mandatory.

For me, I only pick up packages every ten days or so, and I would hate to feel like I could be breaking a rule if I happened to not pick up an SB's package for a while (I know that happened this GE). I know from the other side that once you send the package, you are waiting on pins and needles to see what the recipient says. On the other hand, if someone says they posted a package, and then waits two weeks to open it and say thank you, will the stress/anticipation be any less? I feel like then a few people might say it's rude, and then we'll end up with a rule that you MUST pick up your package and thank your buddy within 3 days, and it will end up feeling forced.

I think by making it a "rule", what is really happening is that someone can be banned from future GEs for breaking it, right? Do we really want to ban someone for posting a "whiny" thread?

I think maybe an extra sticky on GE ettiquette could be good, just as guidelines for first-timers and to help people be aware of topics that could potentially get heated.

I was in favor of a maximum spending limit before, but I think that was maybe because I felt so stressed about it the first time I was in, and because I suspected I had the same buddy who had me - I felt like it would be really embarrassing to give her a gift that was much more modest than what she gave me. But it ended up working out really well. This time, I didn't feel so much like "oh, that was a bank gift, I better keep up!".

This is a long way of saying I agree with Toy's post.

[QuickSilver]

Gypsy & Me, I know you felt very hurt by some of the comments that came about your "late" gift. If I remember correctly, the thread was originally started because some people were trying to figure out who was still waiting for gifts, and your SB was saying she was worried because she was about to go on a long vacation and wouldn't be able to thank you if the gift didn't get there in time.

I can absolutely see why you felt hurt by the turn the thread took, I just don't know if there's a way to "illegalize" it. I think the thread was started with good intentions, and there are always going to be cases where things are misinterpreted and take on a life of their own, esp. on the web. Now that we've seen it happen, if a thread like that comes up, old timers can say, hey, maybe the gift is coming from the U.K.! And it will all be settled.

[Izzy Princess]

Everyone will have their opinion and that is fine but that's why I may not participate in any more GEs because this happens every single time there is one..nothing changes - same things happen and people are sad that their GE didn't go right. The fun gets kicked out of it.

[chattiesmom]

Originally Posted by Izzy Princess;2675461However I do have a problem with people not letting the sender know that their package arrived. How hard is it to post a simple PM telling the sender they rec'd the package after all the time and $$ put into it - and thoughtfullness. I get it that sometimes you can't post pics or threads right away but for heaven's sake please people let the sender know you got their package. [B

That's when I would say ADMIN if you can't do that then you should not be participating in future GEs[/B]. Or I have no problem if the sender says they are running late on sending and notify all parties involved like ADMIN so that they can notify the recipient. [/SIZE]

I agreee with this 100 percent and with Cyndi and Vicky's remarks. EVEN if you plan to delay opening the box for one reason or another - get the furbaby cleaned up, waiting for someone to photograph, etc., we should notify our buddy immediately that we have received the box.


About the photo thank yous -- I can speak as a guilty party here -- I HATE taking pictures and most of my pictures are lousy. BUT I do understand that my buddy spent hours and a lot of money preparing my gift and the least I can do is to post a few pics -- even if the quality is poor. If the only camera you have access to is a disposable film camera, there are members here who would gladly help scan and post the pictures for others.

[QuickSilver]

I think the GE went really well for... 60 out of 63 participats, I think? And I think the other three did end up getting resolved, except for maybe one. I think that's pretty impressive! Not perfect, but what is?

I understand that if you are one of the three who has problems, it' a bummer... but as humans, we tend to "manage by exception". A lot of our focus goes to the problem areas and we think less about all the stuff that worked out nicely.

The GE isn't going to change any of our lives. Hopefully we get a gift we like, hopefully our buddy likes what we sent, and all the rest is icing. We don't have to take it too seriously.

Okay, I've said my piece.

[chattiesmom]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

I think by making it a "rule", what is really happening is that someone can be banned from future GEs for breaking it, right?

Absolutely! GE's are a priviledge and we should treat them as such. Members who start threads that are hurtful to their buddy should not be allowed to participate. This is a fun activity and many of our long time members no longer participate because negativity takes away the fun. In fact I skipped several GE's for that simple reason.

It would be a simple matter to pm Admin if there was a concern rather than post it publicly. I want to clarify that all of the teasing and trying to figure out who has send/received a package is NOT what I am talking about. It is when an individual starts a thread because they have not receied their package even before the mailing deadline.

[QuickSilver]

Can "positiveness" really be regulated, though? I know what you mean, I just feel like it should be part of an FAQ or something - don't freak out if you haven't gotten your gift two weeks into the mailing period.

Okay, I'm REALLY out now.

[chattiesmom]

I would like to make a "true confession" here. I feel like I did hurt my buddy and it was so unintentional. I pm'd an apology and then made a public one.....

I received a "surprise" package from my buddy -- a beautiful bed and personalized blanket from Cinq. I would have been delited if that was my sole gift -- it was beautiful. I posted a thank you with pics (I hate taking pics).

A few days later I received another give -- the most remarkable mouse pad ever. AND in that package was a note from my buddy -- Gracie2006. Again I took pics and thanked my buddy. Surely this was my gift.

A few days later a box came in -- I was expecting a shipment of silk, so I just put the box in the corner. Several days later Melonie pm'd me and asked if I had received the box. She was so sweet, there was a d/c so she KNEW that I had received it. I was mortified when I looked at the box, apologized to her and then posted another picture thank you. Who would have ever dreamed that they would receive such a gracious gift????

Anyway, I was very thankful that Melonie pm'd me rather than starting a thread about how ungreatful I was. It was a simple mistake/oversite on my part.

[Gingergirlsmom]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

I am very appreciative of Amin and Moderators for the opportunity to participate in this fun event. If members aren't comfortable with the GE format, then we must remember, that the GE's are optional. The gift exchanges are a wonderful fun social opportunity for individual members to get to know two other members better -- from the aspect of giving a gift and the receiving of a gift. I do believe that the rules in place are well thought out and for the most part are sufficient. We all need to remember the spirit of giving and receiving. I have participated in 10 gift exchanges, so I have lots of experience --with that said, here are my thoughts.....

I believe that trying to put a spending cap on the GE would be difficult -- the GE is a fun social activity for YTers and is based on the "honor system". I don't believe in having rules that are not enforceable and I don't know how that type of rule could be enforced.

I also think that threads complaining about not receiving a gift should never ever be allowed. If a member has not received their gift within a reasonable time AFTER the mailing deadline then they should handle the situation privately with Admin. There could be any number of reasons that a package is late. AND I am one who generally mails their package out on the last day. As the sender of a gift, it would be very hurtful to read that your buddy is complaning about not having received their gift -- especially prior to the mailing deadline.

I do like the photo thank you requirement. Most members either have cameras or have friends who do have cameras. I thoroughly enjoy looking through the thank you's and seeing all of the pics.

I agree with the post by TOY -- if it aint broke, don't fix it.

Great post.

[Gypsy & Me]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

Gypsy & Me, I know you felt very hurt by some of the comments that came about your "late" gift. If I remember correctly, the thread was originally started because some people were trying to figure out who was still waiting for gifts, and your SB was saying she was worried because she was about to go on a long vacation and wouldn't be able to thank you if the gift didn't get there in time.

It wasn't my SB's post that was the issue, it was the accusations that came afterwards implying that the package wasn't sent and how unfair it was I'd not contacted my buddy and how irresponsible it is to not mail on time so my buddy was waiting weeks after everyone else. It was hard to read that when none of it was true. I know that not all of the posts were aimed at me but even trying to defend my position just caused more issues. It seems whenever someone posts that they still haven't gotten theirs yet people are very fast to think the worse when the deadline for mailing is past.

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

I can absolutely see why you felt hurt by the turn the thread took, I just don't know if there's a way to "illegalize" it. I think the thread was started with good intentions, and there are always going to be cases where things are misinterpreted and take on a life of their own, esp. on the web. Now that we've seen it happen, if a thread like that comes up, old timers can say, hey, maybe the gift is coming from the U.K.! And it will all be settled.

If it's after the deadline someone posts a thread saying "I've not got mine yet but I've had a PM saying that my package is on it's way and to expect it any day now" then I don't see that's complaining. Just posting a thread saying "I've not got mine still" is different and does come off as more of a complaint. If they are concerned enough to post a thread then they should be PMing admin, as the rules already state...

In some cases in the past it's seemed more like a cry for sympathy and a "oh woe is me" type post and YTers, being as they are, are very fast to offer sympathy and like you said those good intentions take on a life of their own, the story gets twisted and people end up hurt. It's happened on more than one occassion and I just feel that by taking away the ability to post and say you've not got it would take away the risk of people getting hurt.

I know people will disagree with my last paragraph but I know a lot of the longer standing members will know and see where I'm coming from with that.

[Gypsy & Me]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

It would be a simple matter to pm Admin if there was a concern rather than post it publicly. I want to clarify that all of the teasing and trying to figure out who has send/received a package is NOT what I am talking about. It is when an individual starts a thread because they have not receied their package even before the mailing deadline.

Same with me, that is not what I'm referring too either, just the threads saying they've not received.

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

Can "positiveness" really be regulated, though? I know what you mean, I just feel like it should be part of an FAQ or something - don't freak out if you haven't gotten your gift two weeks into the mailing period.

Okay, I'm REALLY out now.

It is...

Originally Posted by admin from the GE Rules

10. Not Receiving a Gift - If you have not received your gift within 2 weeks of the posted deadline, please PM us to let us know. There will be action taken. It is not fair to you if you have sent out a gift and did not receive one in return. YorkieTalk guarantees that you will get a Gift per Gift Exchange as long as you follow the rules. Every single participant in every single YT Gift Exchange thus far has received a gift.

[Gingergirlsmom]

Having read a little of what went on, I would like to reiterate my support for not allowing threads to be posted about NOT receiving a gift. This should be a private matter handled by admin and the parties involved.

I'd hate to see someone's good reputation on YT hurt because of a misunderstanding and I just don't see how these kinds of threads can help anyone in any way. There is an avenue of recourse if someone never receives their gift and this should be used.

JMO

[KimberlySRN]

I love participating in GE's. My first GE I was so nervous and scared I would not give as much...but then I realized that everyone loved what they recieved no matter what. I wasn't concerned about what I would get but about what I got my buddy. Now that I have participated in 3 I just have fun. I put a box in my livingroom or kitchen and fill it up until I feel satisfied. I would hate for there to be a max. because that would take the fun out of it and if the min. was raised to $50 people may not participate. I think as far as amounts it is fine as is.

[Wabbit]

Originally Posted by Gypsy & Me

In some cases in the past it's seemed more like a cry for sympathy and a "oh woe is me" type post and YTers, being as they are, are very fast to offer sympathy and like you said those good intentions take on a life of their own, the story gets twisted and people end up hurt. It's happened on more than one occassion and I just feel that by taking away the ability to post and say you've not got it would take away the risk of people getting hurt.

I know people will disagree with my last paragraph but I know a lot of the longer standing members will know and see where I'm coming from with that.

OK My two cents:

I'm not exactly sure who you are referring to with your "woe is me" paragraph but apparently I was "guilty" of starting a thread that was ALL IN FUN...about Daizy being mopey.....If my secret buddy took that as an "insult" then I am VERY SORRY!!!! Because it was all done in fun...I was sitting around bored....and was just playing around....I do NOT consider that thread as an insulting thread where I was attempting to TARGET my secret buddy....though..correct me if I am wrong..

I think there are many with "good intentions" and then there are some, that are still fuming over the last GE that wanna institute ALOT of unnecessary rules...Like others have said..."If it's NOT broke, don't fix it"..

I am seriously AGAINST a MAXIMUM limit being set....I think that the "man" be getting too involved, if that were done......lol Because if I want to SPOIL my buddy rotten I think that it should be my choice...and OF COURSE I do not expect the same in return!!! I don't think anyone out there expects a huge box....lol Because it's in the spirit of giving....right?

Anywhoo....in regards to pics being required...I guess that's up to the majority...I for one do LOVE seeing pics of my buddies...with all their goodies...because that is part of the fun for me....but I don't want to RUIN the GE for some that don't want to do it...it is a very nice gesture to do for your buddy...but should it really be required? hmmm

And I do agree that if someone is concerned or still waiting after the deadline...they should contact ADMIN and let them handle it...before starting a thread about not receiving their gift....am I wrong or was there actually ANY Threads started about people NOT receiving their gifts other than (ONES DONE IN FUN OR GEST)?? Because I honestly do not remember seeing any of those...other than a couple posts....that started alot of controversy...

I'm done...I said 2 cents..guess I put in a little more..

And Mercury I hope "your out" comment did NOT mean you won't be joining anymore GE'S!!! Don't let comments of a few keep you from joining in...I've been in SEVERAL other GE'S with YOU.. and there were NOT any issues...like this one...clearly because there were SO MANY MORE this time..things came up...problems happened...but hey life goes on...