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10-20-2007, 07:47 PM | #1 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2007 Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 372
| Argument with dad, can't see my Yorkie! My father had a stroke 2 years ago. He was kind of grumpy before that, but it didn't bother me. After he left the hospital the doctors and therapists said that he will have a new outlook on life and be much happier. We'll they couldn't be farther from the truth. He is the most miserable and mean person now. My parents live a few blocks from me and they take care of Toby since I work out of town. Last Friday I was at their house fixing my truck and the replacement part broke and my dad went and got me a new one. I started having the same problem with the new part. So I said to my dad I can't make this work and he freaked on me. (He needed the truck to pull the boat out of the water the next morning). So needless to say he told me to get out of his f'ing house and I haven't talked to them since. I can deal with that. BUT! I cannot deal with not seeing my dog. Since he is 16 now, I know he won't live forever and I want to visit with him every chance I get. My parents both are very stubborn and I know my dad would never say sorry. So today I took all his leaves and grass to the dump while they were at the cottage, hoping he will call and thank me. Should I give in knowing I did nothing wrong? I feel terrible but I think I need to stand my ground. Sorry to babble but any input would be good! Derek |
Welcome Guest! | |
10-20-2007, 07:51 PM | #2 |
YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Canada
Posts: 326
| Don't you just hate when your parents are so Stubborn? Well, first of all, sorry that you had to go through that. Considering the age your yorkie is at, I would certainly give in , regardless if I did nothing wrong. I would do anything to see my dog before he *passes* away from his long-lived happy life. Fact is, your parents will always be your parents... show them how mature you are and give in , I'm sure they will look up to you with good thoughts & show them that they've raised a great person and then guilt will be knocking on their door lol!! |
10-20-2007, 08:01 PM | #3 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,111
| Sorry to are having to deal with this right now...maybe your dad suffers from some sort of depression or is bi-polar? Anyhow since you dont have to live with them..try to let bygone be bygone if you can..life is so short. Walk away when he talks to you like that..you dont need to stand there and take it that is for sure..soon when he is talking to a wall he may get the hint..if not..he can talk to the wall!! lol..I know Im not much help but hey..I try lol.. Im sure it just feels good to vent...and good for you for picking up leaves and grass for them!! It shows how mature and good hearted you are!! Dawn |
10-20-2007, 08:08 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois
Posts: 4,139
| If I understood your post correctly, your dad's personality changed directly after his stroke? If that's the case, it's quite possible that your dad can't really help his "grumpiness". Something may have happened during the stroke, or as sweetr72 suggested, he may be suffering from depression. In the short term, I would try to not take your dad's behavior personally. Toby needs to see you as well as your folks need to see you. In the long run, you may want to talk to your mom to see if your dad's doctor should be alerted to his deteriorating mood. There may actually be something that they could do to help. Good luck!!
__________________ Diane, and my boys ..... Coby and Reggie !! Striving to be a YTPP - a YT Positive Poster! In Memory of My Beautiful Mother 7/22/28-8/27/08 |
10-20-2007, 08:16 PM | #5 |
With Indy In My Heart Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 8,442
| Our relationships with our parents can be really tough to deal with some times. If you have the ability to be better than the situation, then do it. As hard as it is, overlook the hateful statements and inconsiderate actions and remember that this man is the only dad you'll ever have. If you estrange yourself from him because he won't say he's sorry, you won't have accomplished anything and may lose your dad and your dog and possibly other family members who may not agree with your actions. It sounds like he has some problems that may require more medical attention. You have to decide what the important thing is. Your relationship or your emotional wounds. Those wounds can be horribly painful if we allow it. But there are ways to deal with them and it sounds to me that you are willing to do that. Sometimes we do just have to give in to keep a relationship alive. Since this man is very important in your life I think this is one of those times. I think your actions were very noble and loving. |
10-20-2007, 08:32 PM | #6 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dresher, PA
Posts: 2,779
| If I read correctly, the reason for the blow up sounds really petty. He probably can't control how horribly he behaves, or realize what he was actually saying. I would at least approach them about visitation rights for Toby. Side note: when I first read the title it sounded like you were 11 and were grounded and can't see your dog |
10-20-2007, 08:53 PM | #7 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2007 Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 372
| I wish I was 11. Actually I'm 36. I did forget to mention that my dad has diabetes. He does blame his mood swings to it. Unfortunately he has no hobbies so his mind isn't occupied enough. He cuts grass and you can't do that all the time. He watches 6 hours of CSI everyday. As for the bitterness. He was always a little rough around the edges but nothing major. Now anything tips him off. Train horns, people on cellphones, bad commercials, etc. Something happens on tv he get so angry that he turns the tv off. I have tried to tell him in the past that its nothing you can control, don't let it bother you. Lately if I tell him that, he tells me to shut up. I don't mean to sound cold, but I feel I need to be away from my father. I find more and more that when I am around him I complain alot. I haven't seen him in a week and I've been really relaxed minus visiting with Toby (That part has gotten me stressed). |
10-20-2007, 09:02 PM | #8 | |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois
Posts: 4,139
| Quote:
__________________ Diane, and my boys ..... Coby and Reggie !! Striving to be a YTPP - a YT Positive Poster! In Memory of My Beautiful Mother 7/22/28-8/27/08 | |
10-21-2007, 05:49 PM | #9 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2007 Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 372
| I am not at the stage of going crazy. Should I give in? I really want to see Toby today its really really bothering me. I am so edgy I could snap at the drop of a pin. |
10-21-2007, 05:54 PM | #10 |
With Indy In My Heart Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 8,442
| We've given you our advice. Now it's up to you to make the decision. You know the situation best and what is best for you. Good luck with whatever you decide. |
10-21-2007, 06:38 PM | #11 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2007 Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 372
| Sorry just venting a little. Trying to decide on what and how to make amends. Shouldn't be me but I will be the better man. |
10-21-2007, 06:43 PM | #12 |
With Indy In My Heart Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 8,442
| Aw, venting is fine. We all need to do it. Just helping you remember who has to do the doin'. And yes, you will be the better man. I have confidence in you! |
10-21-2007, 06:45 PM | #13 |
♥Love My Puppies!♥ Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: US
Posts: 5,786
| I agree with everyone else. I would do whatever it takes to see my baby. Good luck to you. I'm sorry you are having this difficult situation.
__________________ RIP My Sweet Darling Angel Daisy 08/09/03 - 10/02/15, RIP My Sweet Baby Boy Teddy Bear 02/01/04 - 02/11/16 Photos HERE |
10-21-2007, 06:52 PM | #14 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posts: 1,208
| I would just go back over like nothing happened and then if it's brought up suck it up and say your sorry. You know you havn't done anything wrong but if it brings peace and allows you to see your dog then just do it...life is too short...Good luck!
__________________ Please help save Lennox! http://www.savelennox.co.uk/ Let your voice be heard so Lennox can go home |
10-23-2007, 06:08 PM | #15 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2007 Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 372
| Well, my mother called yesterday and asked if I was going to watch Toby while they are out of town. I asked where's the thank you for the yard work. She said where's the thank you for the dock removal at the lake. I said her dock and her boat and the neighbor did it anyways. But anyways I still haven't spoke to my father. The most important thing is that Toby went crazy when I walked in tonight. He was running (well as fast as he can at his age). Licked me to death, so I cooked him a chicken breast and he's resting beside me! I'm such a happy daddie tonight. |
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