I'm really very sad right now - YorkieTalk.com Forums

pepe mint · 09-27-2007, 02:25 PM

i guess i am just being hormonal or something...but I can't stop crying. I was at lunch with my investor, my husband, my best friend (also my bookkeeper) and her bf (he does our remodeling). we were talking about building a new office, etc. and my investor was trying to get a feel for what we needed. He asked my bff "so, are you in this long term?"

a very innocent question...and an understandable one when planning to build an office building. she hesitated. which is understandable,...her job has been very stressful lately. she finally said "It depends"...i thought she said that because she didn't want to commit to the job. but she completely threw me for a loop with when Gary said "depends on what??". her answer killed me. she said "it depends on if I am still around"

OMG...I am totally caught off guard here. I said "what do you mean??? where do you think you are going??!!?!?!"

now...understand...she is about to be engaged to one of our mutual VERY good friends...they are totally head over heals in love and are talking about getting married in May. i love it. i am so happy for her.

well, Sean (her soon-to-be fiance) said "well, we were thinking....we might move to South Carolina"

NOOOOOOOOOO. what?????????? I am floored at this point. I said "and when do you think this might happen?" and they said "2 or 3 years"

you might think that is a long time...but it's not. and I know both of them and those 2 or 3 years will turn into 1 year...then 6 months. they both live sporadically and will just drop everything and move on a whim...so I don't expect them to actually take 2-3 years.

I am so sad about this. I immediately looked at my watch and said "I need to go get my daughter" and got up from the table and left. I could have stayed another 20 minutes...but it sounded like a good excuse to leave. as soon as I was out of their sight, i started bawling. she is more than just my best friend...she is a sister to me. she has healed me in so many way...has been there for me through SOOOOOOOOOO much. and suddenly she starts dating Sean and they are going to run off to another state. now, you can tell me that we can still be friends...and we would...but it would be different. very very different. and it would be hard. i don't have any of the friends i used to have....once they moved away, we slowly stopped communicating. not for lack of trying on my part either.

i'm just scared...sad...and very hurt that I found out this way. why did it have to come out like that???? why hasn't she talked to me about this?

i can't stop crying. i'm a mess. My marriage is falling apart and my best friend is talking about moving away...I GIVE UP. what is the point in getting close to people?

I just can't handle this.

Superstarkba · 09-27-2007, 02:29 PM

I am soo sorry. Hopefully they will stay just right where they are. You have us YT friends, even if we move away, as long as we have internet!!!!

sweetr72 · 09-27-2007, 02:31 PM

I feel your pain hun...you are stressed to the maxxxxx!!

I lost my job last Tuesday..been fighting like crazy with my common law..getting prepared for my brothers wedding on Saturday..waiting for kittens (taking on toooooo much) and today I slammed my finger in the front door...it hurt a little but I cried like a baby..I was all alone and I think the stress just got to me...

I know it feels like your world is falling apart right now..but try to keep your thoughts on the positive things in your life...your daughter and your furkids are huge positives...and dont forget you have ALL of us!! ANYTIME!!

HUGE HUGS!!

Dawn

Jeri Cunningham · 09-27-2007, 02:31 PM

I know how you feel someone very important to me moved away but with the internet we chat all the time. If you BFF moves just make sure to stay in touch! You will never lose touch if your are truely BFF's!

AMD · 09-27-2007, 02:49 PM

Mandee, I'm sorry! I play the piano myself, and there was a lady at our church that played the piano, that I always liked and thought her hubby was a fun guy! I never really knew her, but last year they moved to the Philippines and I was broken. I was so sad I got sick for about a week and was throwing up..I cried every night...I never really new her personally, but I still felt close to her. I feel your pain, I'm so sorry. Hopefully they stick around and don't move...

Sookie · 09-27-2007, 02:51 PM

Wow...at first I thought you were going to say she had a terminal illness!! So I was relieved when I read about the "moving away" part. You will still be best friends and when the two of you do get together you'll have a blast. My BFF lives in Ohio and I live in NJ. When we get together it is so much fun - we talk the entire time - and we are in contct by phone and email every day. You'll see - no matter what happens it'll still be good.

pepe mint · 09-27-2007, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sookie

Wow...at first I thought you were going to say she had a terminal illness!! So I was relieved when I read about the "moving away" part. You will still be best friends and when the two of you do get together you'll have a blast. My BFF lives in Ohio and I live in NJ. When we get together it is so much fun - we talk the entire time - and we are in contct by phone and email every day. You'll see - no matter what happens it'll still be good.

I know we will still be close. but as it is now, I am with her almost every day. I will miss her. I will feel that I am missing a part of me. just the thought of her moving makes me feel empty inside. I miss her and she isn't even gone...and we don't know for sure she will be gone. I can't even imagine how sad I will be when she actually does move away.

I guess it just goes to show that maybe we sometimes take our friendships for granted. I just assumed she would always be here.

mizzwanned · 09-27-2007, 02:56 PM

I know EXACTLY how you feel! When my best friends moved away, they are like my sisters, I was devastated. They are 2 sisters, about 2 yrs apart, the youngest is 2 yrs older than me. I grew up with them, my mom and their mom are like sisters, since toddlers we were together. They used to live in my neighborhood but slowly they started getting further and further away. They moved to Queens, and my dad would drive me to their house on weekends so we were still close, then they moved to another house in Queens and we still stayed close(i live in manhattan), thennnnnn at 18 yrs old, (i was 16) the younger sister gets married, this is her 1st love, her 1st everything and moves to Virginia!!

VA! She never lived anywhere else but NY! Her older sister went with her. Now it's been 4 yrs, the younger one has a baby(still married) and the older one has moved back but to NJ to live with her older brother and SIL. Although we are all still close, we can not see each other for yrs and then see each other and we will still laugh hysterically and act like we never parted but it's true, once they moved away we barely communicated. I just saw them 2 days ago, I'm so glad they are visiting and they leave in a week so i am going to see them tommorrow. Their parent's live inthe Bronx now. I was in her wedding(younger sis) and i will always be like their little sister but i just had to suck it up i guess that we separated. And on top of that their older brother is one of my older brother's best friends. We all grew up together, always had b-day parties together, everything. So i know exaclty how you feel like.

It's sad but when you do see each other after they've moved it's like they never moved away.

mizzwanned · 09-27-2007, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sookie

Wow...at first I thought you were going to say she had a terminal illness!!

Yea i thought that too!!

jp4m2 · 09-27-2007, 03:06 PM

It really hurts when the people we care about move on...life tends to move people in and out of our lives when we least expect it....your friend may have felt safer announcing this in a group setting, she may have been afraid of your reaction, afraid she wouldn't have been able to get it out without breaking down etc. ... safety in numbers....

I know you'll miss her terribly but we have to let people go...I lost a dear friend years ago from a move and I still wonder how she's doing....but I know she did it to better her life and it had nothing to do with our friendship...try not to take it personally she's only doing it for reasons she feels are best her and her BF...hang in there...

Yorkiekids · 09-27-2007, 03:10 PM

I'm sorry your going through this. My best friend moved an hour away, and I never hear from her anymore. I'm sure your best friend will be a better best friend then mine.

SevenGirl · 09-27-2007, 03:16 PM

Gosh, Mandee.....I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds like you are in a bad place right now, and I feel horrible that you are hurting so much. I understand your concern that you and your bff won't stay as close. That happened to my bf once we moved to Atlanta. We are still close, but it isn't the same.

Anyway, maybe it won't actually happen for several years like they said.

I know it is hard, but try to stay strong. Enjoy the time you have with her! And Kelsey is right......you still have all of us at YT!!!!

SevenGirl · 09-27-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yorkiekids

I'm sorry your going through this. My best friend moved an hour away, and I never hear from her anymore. I'm sure your best friend will be a better best friend then mine.

That totally stinks!

adorame · 09-27-2007, 04:09 PM

My best friend moved to Florida three years ago. When she lived here I talked to her every day, sometimes more then once a day! She comes to visit every summer so I do get to see her still but I miss our daily chats. Now it is 2 times a week sometimes once a week! I missed her call today and I have to call her tomorrow! The one day I am not home and she had to pick it to call!

. I started to miss her before she even moved!! I know how it is! I hope that you will be alright with your feelings, it's hard to let things go.. just try and keep in touch and at least you know that you tried!

sweetr72 · 09-27-2007, 05:03 PM

My best friend lives in the US and I bet we talk more than my close friends here in Canada...we talk alllllllllllll the time on the computer and since she has free long distance she is only a phone call away...yep I DEFINETLY talk to her on the phone more than any of my friends that live 5 minutes from me..and we are closer for this reason too I think...some of my closest friends have moved on but you know what...there is always another friend waiting around the corner when you least expect it!! I know I already posted but I felt like posting again lol...

Dawn

09-27-2007, 02:25 PM	#1
pepe mint YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Franklin, TN Posts: 11,145	I'm really very sad right now i guess i am just being hormonal or something...but I can't stop crying. I was at lunch with my investor, my husband, my best friend (also my bookkeeper) and her bf (he does our remodeling). we were talking about building a new office, etc. and my investor was trying to get a feel for what we needed. He asked my bff "so, are you in this long term?" a very innocent question...and an understandable one when planning to build an office building. she hesitated. which is understandable,...her job has been very stressful lately. she finally said "It depends"...i thought she said that because she didn't want to commit to the job. but she completely threw me for a loop with when Gary said "depends on what??". her answer killed me. she said "it depends on if I am still around" OMG...I am totally caught off guard here. I said "what do you mean??? where do you think you are going??!!?!?!" now...understand...she is about to be engaged to one of our mutual VERY good friends...they are totally head over heals in love and are talking about getting married in May. i love it. i am so happy for her. well, Sean (her soon-to-be fiance) said "well, we were thinking....we might move to South Carolina" NOOOOOOOOOO. what?????????? I am floored at this point. I said "and when do you think this might happen?" and they said "2 or 3 years" you might think that is a long time...but it's not. and I know both of them and those 2 or 3 years will turn into 1 year...then 6 months. they both live sporadically and will just drop everything and move on a whim...so I don't expect them to actually take 2-3 years. I am so sad about this. I immediately looked at my watch and said "I need to go get my daughter" and got up from the table and left. I could have stayed another 20 minutes...but it sounded like a good excuse to leave. as soon as I was out of their sight, i started bawling. she is more than just my best friend...she is a sister to me. she has healed me in so many way...has been there for me through SOOOOOOOOOO much. and suddenly she starts dating Sean and they are going to run off to another state. now, you can tell me that we can still be friends...and we would...but it would be different. very very different. and it would be hard. i don't have any of the friends i used to have....once they moved away, we slowly stopped communicating. not for lack of trying on my part either. i'm just scared...sad...and very hurt that I found out this way. why did it have to come out like that???? why hasn't she talked to me about this? i can't stop crying. i'm a mess. My marriage is falling apart and my best friend is talking about moving away...I GIVE UP. what is the point in getting close to people? I just can't handle this. __________________ Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog

09-27-2007, 02:31 PM	#4
Jeri Cunningham Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Hercules,CA Posts: 2,057 Blog Entries: 1	I know how you feel someone very important to me moved away but with the internet we chat all the time. If you BFF moves just make sure to stay in touch! You will never lose touch if your are truely BFF's! __________________ Mandy & Krissy & Teddy & Chelsey & Kayla Non-Yorkie: Rusty & Biewers: Darla & Spanky The Little Rascals

09-27-2007, 02:51 PM	#6
Sookie My Four Sweet Babies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: South Jersey near Philadelphia Posts: 5,452	Wow...at first I thought you were going to say she had a terminal illness!! So I was relieved when I read about the "moving away" part. You will still be best friends and when the two of you do get together you'll have a blast. My BFF lives in Ohio and I live in NJ. When we get together it is so much fun - we talk the entire time - and we are in contct by phone and email every day. You'll see - no matter what happens it'll still be good. __________________ I LOVE MY BABIES

09-27-2007, 02:56 PM	#8
mizzwanned Donating YT 11K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: new york Posts: 14,007 Blog Entries: 2	I know EXACTLY how you feel! When my best friends moved away, they are like my sisters, I was devastated. They are 2 sisters, about 2 yrs apart, the youngest is 2 yrs older than me. I grew up with them, my mom and their mom are like sisters, since toddlers we were together. They used to live in my neighborhood but slowly they started getting further and further away. They moved to Queens, and my dad would drive me to their house on weekends so we were still close, then they moved to another house in Queens and we still stayed close(i live in manhattan), thennnnnn at 18 yrs old, (i was 16) the younger sister gets married, this is her 1st love, her 1st everything and moves to Virginia!! VA! She never lived anywhere else but NY! Her older sister went with her. Now it's been 4 yrs, the younger one has a baby(still married) and the older one has moved back but to NJ to live with her older brother and SIL. Although we are all still close, we can not see each other for yrs and then see each other and we will still laugh hysterically and act like we never parted but it's true, once they moved away we barely communicated. I just saw them 2 days ago, I'm so glad they are visiting and they leave in a week so i am going to see them tommorrow. Their parent's live inthe Bronx now. I was in her wedding(younger sis) and i will always be like their little sister but i just had to suck it up i guess that we separated. And on top of that their older brother is one of my older brother's best friends. We all grew up together, always had b-day parties together, everything. So i know exaclty how you feel like. It's sad but when you do see each other after they've moved it's like they never moved away. __________________ Primrose, Teddy..RIP, Livie..RIP, And can never forget my duo Sophie and London, Run in Peace <3 Last edited by mizzwanned; 09-27-2007 at 02:58 PM.

09-27-2007, 03:06 PM	#10
jp4m2 Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys Posts: 5,056	It really hurts when the people we care about move on...life tends to move people in and out of our lives when we least expect it....your friend may have felt safer announcing this in a group setting, she may have been afraid of your reaction, afraid she wouldn't have been able to get it out without breaking down etc. ... safety in numbers.... I know you'll miss her terribly but we have to let people go...I lost a dear friend years ago from a move and I still wonder how she's doing....but I know she did it to better her life and it had nothing to do with our friendship...try not to take it personally she's only doing it for reasons she feels are best her and her BF...hang in there... __________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too..

09-27-2007, 02:29 PM	#2
Superstarkba Aubrey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 9,369	I am soo sorry. Hopefully they will stay just right where they are. You have us YT friends, even if we move away, as long as we have internet!!!!

09-27-2007, 02:31 PM	#3
sweetr72 No Longer a Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 6,111	I feel your pain hun...you are stressed to the maxxxxx!! I lost my job last Tuesday..been fighting like crazy with my common law..getting prepared for my brothers wedding on Saturday..waiting for kittens (taking on toooooo much) and today I slammed my finger in the front door...it hurt a little but I cried like a baby..I was all alone and I think the stress just got to me... I know it feels like your world is falling apart right now..but try to keep your thoughts on the positive things in your life...your daughter and your furkids are huge positives...and dont forget you have ALL of us!! ANYTIME!! HUGE HUGS!! Dawn

09-27-2007, 02:49 PM	#5
AMD Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: USA Posts: 8,986	Mandee, I'm sorry! I play the piano myself, and there was a lady at our church that played the piano, that I always liked and thought her hubby was a fun guy! I never really knew her, but last year they moved to the Philippines and I was broken. I was so sad I got sick for about a week and was throwing up..I cried every night...I never really new her personally, but I still felt close to her. I feel your pain, I'm so sorry. Hopefully they stick around and don't move...

09-27-2007, 03:10 PM	#11
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I'm sorry your going through this. My best friend moved an hour away, and I never hear from her anymore. I'm sure your best friend will be a better best friend then mine. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

09-27-2007, 03:16 PM	#12
SevenGirl Bella-My Georgia Girl Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Duluth, Georgia Posts: 2,419	Gosh, Mandee.....I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds like you are in a bad place right now, and I feel horrible that you are hurting so much. I understand your concern that you and your bff won't stay as close. That happened to my bf once we moved to Atlanta. We are still close, but it isn't the same. Anyway, maybe it won't actually happen for several years like they said. I know it is hard, but try to stay strong. Enjoy the time you have with her! And Kelsey is right......you still have all of us at YT!!!! __________________ Elizabeth and Bella Official Members of the CRAZY Club and the PINK Club! Bella 's dressing up!

09-27-2007, 04:09 PM	#14
adorame YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,312 Blog Entries: 1	My best friend moved to Florida three years ago. When she lived here I talked to her every day, sometimes more then once a day! She comes to visit every summer so I do get to see her still but I miss our daily chats. Now it is 2 times a week sometimes once a week! I missed her call today and I have to call her tomorrow! The one day I am not home and she had to pick it to call! . I started to miss her before she even moved!! I know how it is! I hope that you will be alright with your feelings, it's hard to let things go.. just try and keep in touch and at least you know that you tried!

09-27-2007, 05:03 PM	#15
sweetr72 No Longer a Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 6,111	My best friend lives in the US and I bet we talk more than my close friends here in Canada...we talk alllllllllllll the time on the computer and since she has free long distance she is only a phone call away...yep I DEFINETLY talk to her on the phone more than any of my friends that live 5 minutes from me..and we are closer for this reason too I think...some of my closest friends have moved on but you know what...there is always another friend waiting around the corner when you least expect it!! I know I already posted but I felt like posting again lol... Dawn