omg...i dont know how to tell all you this
 

first of all i dont even know where to begin.... i've had macy for 3 weeks now and no matter how hard i try...i just wont let myself get close to her. i take her everywhere, do everything with her, but i end up sitting and crying cause she is not maddie. i had been feeling this way, but didnt want to say anything, then my daughter came up and ask me if she was a bad person, for feeling the exact same way that i'd been feeling. i told her i felt the same but didnt want to say anything. i never in a million years thought i'd feel this way, but i think it was toooo soon for me to get macy. my heart is just still hurting for maddie and i'm (we) are just not over it. we both just sit and cry wishing she was maddie. this is not fair to macy. she is the most loving and adorable little baby. she has sooo much love to give and for some reason i can't give it to her. i want her to have a mommy that felt like i did about maddie.

please please dont hate me and think bad of us, but after soooooooo much thought and pain, we've decided to give her back to jill. its just tooo early for us to get another one. in time i'll be getting another one, but not right now.

i'm not sure how to even deal with the feeling be are both having. i just thought like most people, that macy wouldn't replace maddie, but would help me to deal with the pain...instead its bring out more pain.

i totally dont get my feeling and i can't even begin to understand them all. i guess maddie had such an impact on my life that for some odd reason i feel like my child has died and i'm trying to bring in this other child in and feel the same and love her and i just can't. i dont get it. i dont understand it. i just know me and my daughter both feel the same.

its just not the right time yet, i guess we have way for healing to do then we even realized.

please dont think we havent showed macy attention cause we have given her all the attention in the world. it just here is this little bundle of fur in your arms and all you can do is cry for the other one you had.

i hope everyone can understand and realize this decision was not easy to make, but it is a final decision that we have brought ourselves too.


we both feel like its just not time and macy deserves better.

jill has been so understanding and great. i thought she would hate me but she dont and she gets that its just tooo early.

thank you jill for understanding and for being so supportive. I love you for that and you are truely a very special friend and i'd never want to do anything to compromise that...

I am so sorry.. I'm sure you've loved and spoiled Macey to death, but the hurt from Maddie is too great, and I think you're doing what's right. Hugs to you :hug:

Denise, I understand completely. I know I would have to give it lots of time and did when I lost my Molly. Thanks to Jill for being so understanding too!!

you are doing the right thing so please do not feel quilty and anyone Jill approves will give her a wonderful home because that's just the way Jill is. I had thought it was a little too soon for you but didn't want to say anything. the right time will come and you will know when it does. HUGSSSS

Well I know how hard it can be and I am so very sorry. I am so sure when you are really ready your heart will open up and all the love will shine :)
So sorry your pain is still so deep.
:hug: :hearts-en

Denise,
Guess the timing was wrong, when your ready for a furbaby you will know it. Your doing the best thing for you and the little one. I truly hope your heart will mend soon.

Sweetie you have to do what you feel is best. No one is going to be mad at you, some people think its soo easy to just get another dog after their dog dies and some people just cant do that. It doesnt just impact you , it impacts your whole family and your family feels the same way you do. Yt is always supportive and some of us have no clue what you going through (feeling wise) so we cant judge you for it. You seem like a wonderful person and mother to your dogs and skinkids. It wouldnt be right to keep macy if you cant give her the attachment that you know you want to because your not ready. You will get another furbaby when the time is right for you and your family. Although she wont replace maddie maybe she will bring joy to your life too when the time is right.

sorry that your feel this way.

Iam so sorry you feel so much pain:( but I think you are doing what your heart tells you to do, we all know how much you loved maddie and how much you wanted little macy, your heart will let you know when its right, wishing you and your daughter brighter days a head:)

Denise...my heart just aches for you and know that you always have a friend in me and I'll be here for you, through the good times and the bad. No one is going to hate you for your decision. It was just too soon and you are still working through your grief. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. If only we could go back in time when you still had Maddie and I still had my Mom. Life was good then. Sending lots of love and hugs to you, Denise!

Ichabob was my first yorkie, when I lost him it was like losing a child, after I got Wicket I still don't have the same feelings for him as I did for Ichabob, and I was trying to explain this to my neighbor and she said something that really help she told me Ichabob was my first love, and you never really get over your first love. I love Wicket to death would do anything for him, but the feelings are different, It's hard to explain. but I understand what you are going through.

Denise -- my heart breaks for you and your family. I understand how you feel -- it took me almost 5 years after losing my beloved LacieBug before I was ready for Chattie. In time, the gaping black hole in your heart will start to fill with happy memories of Maddie - and then one day you will realize that the only thing to fill in the one tiny little hole that is left is a little bundle of fur-love. You will know when it is time -- take time to grieve.

Denise,
No one here will think ill of you for doing the right thing. You are doing this cause you know it's the right thing for Macy. This must be the most hardest thing to do.

I pray that your heart starts to heal and one day you will be able to love another baby.

Denise, I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't feel bad. Everyone has to deal with loss in their own way. I, too, thought it was too soon, but didn't want to say anything. You'll know when you're ready. Don't rush yourself.

Everyone is different on how they deal with situations like this. You're doing what's right for you and your family. We lost our 15 year old toy poodle who was my "first love" - he was born way before the children so was our "only child" for a while - and I got Tatum just two weeks later. I really wrestled with that decision but it really did end up as the best choice for me. She helped mend my broken heart and fill the void that losing Dax had made. I honestly don't remember how old your Maddie was or the circumstances of her passing but we had known for a while that Dax was going to leave us soon and had time to "prepare" for it (for lack of a better word). Maybe that's what made it more "acceptable" for me. I did spend that entire two weeks grieving heavily for him though. My family was genuinely concerned about me. Again, everyone is different. You'll know when the time is right.

Oh Denise - my heart is breaking all over again for you and your family. I don't think anyone is doing to think you are a bad person. You tried and it just wasn't working. When the time is right you will know it. I hope little Macy gets a loving family and know that Jill will take good care of her until that happens. You know we'll always be here for you. Hugs to you...

I don't think anyone will think anything bad of you for doing what you feel is right in your heart. I'm sure Jill understands and I'm happy she's so nice about all this. You'll know when the time is right, and it just doesn't happen to be now.

Hugs to you Denise. It wasn't the right time, everyone can understand that.
Your heart needs time to heal. When the time is right you will know.
:ghug:

Im sorry Denise...and totally understand. Is Jill going to hold on to her or try and re-home right away? Just wondering if that door would be open for you if you give her back then realize it's not what you want you could get her back....

My heart goes out to you....and I am hoping for the best for all.

Denise, you owe no one an apology....only you and your family know what's right for you, and if it's not right, then you do what you need to do to rectify it...

I'm so sorry for everyone involved, it must be so heartbreaking for all of you... :rose40:

Hope you feel better soon and your family too. Hugs from Zoeybear!

Aww, I think all dogs lovers have had at one time in their lives a very special pet that they'll never get over. I know once you've lost that pet it's extremely hard to find one exactly like him/her that you feel the same about. I think you're making the right decision. It is too soon and you know you don't have to worry about Macy, she'll find the right home.

You know what I suggest? A nice dinner out and some shopping or a movie with your girls and maybe a special present on the day Macy goes back to Jill. Kids are so wonderful, you think they'll be upset but they can tell when Mommy isn't feeling "right" and want you to feel better.

I'm proud of you, this was a very hard decision to come too. You are strong enough to do what's right for Macy and I think that's awesome. Everyone on YT knows how much of a kind heart you have.

Denise please read my thread. I understand completely how you feel. As much as I love my rugrat, I don't think I could have another when Toby passes.

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95250

Derek & Toby

Its takin me a while to reach this decision and i didnt want to make it til it i was totally 100 % sure. Jill will be rehoming her. I don't Macy to go back and forth. Its a decision that was really hard to make.:(

thank you!!

Think your feelings are valid... Time of course heels all wounds - Sorry for your loss and best of luck....

I'm in tears right now cause you guys are truely such wonderful people. I was a nervious wreak telling jill and posting it on here. Everyone has been so awesome.

Macy will be going back to Jill on sat. and i must say, she won't be going empty handed. She'll be taking all her bed, chair, toys and clothes with her.
She is so attached to her little chair. She loves to sleep in it everynight.

If anyone is interest in Macy...she is truely an adorable little girl. Her fur is awesome and she has some of the cutest gestures. When you say something to her, that little head just tilts to the side as she looks up at you. I feel sooo horrible that I can't give her the feelings she deserves cause she is such a little angel.:( :( :( :( :(

I understand what you are going through . I've been in the same situation when my 16 years old Collie died . I wanted another dog immediately but I wasn't able to cope with Lark's death and I gave the Collie pup to my cousin.
Take your time to heal , I am sure ones will be mad at you for your hard decision

Well again...I am very sorry and I am sure noone will judge you or think differently about you....I take that back...I do feel a little different now... think you are an even STRONGER woman than i had imagined, and a person who truely looks out for the best of thier loved ones. My heart goes out to you.

Hard decision for Denise
 

Hi Denise and everyone,
Thank you to everyone who has been so kind and understanding with Denise\'s decision. It was very very hard for her and she was so nervous about telling me. She was afraid it would damage our friendship. However, we are good friends and she is an amazing person and I want what is best for her and for Macy. She is doing something that is sooo difficult but what is in the best interest of Macy and her family. I have offered to keep her for a bit before trying to rehome her to see if this is what she wants, but she is sure, so I will be rehoming her. I am sure in time her and her family will heal and be ready for another one. No puppy will ever be like Maddie, but one will come into thier life someday that they will feel connected to in a very special way.
Thank you all sooooo much!!
Hugs to all of you!!
Jill