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06-18-2005, 04:57 PM | #1 |
Double Trouble Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: FLORIDA
Posts: 4,658
| funny email enjoy Hi I just received this and wanted to share with all animal lovers. Enjoy: You HAVE to smile. > >Nasser > > Dear Dogs and Cats, > When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions >with each other so there are still two of you in the way. > > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The >other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print >in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming >your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the >slightest. > > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating >me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall > faster than you can run. > > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about >this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your >comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. they can actually curl >up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other >stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking >tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to >maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm. > > Ohhh, and my compact discs are not miniature Frisbees. > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by >some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not >necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under >the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door >I entered. In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or >feline attendance is not mandatory. > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats' ass. >I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you. > > I rubbed the lotion on my skin for a REASON! Not as an after-dinner >snack for you. The newspaper spread on the floor is called accident >paper... NOT habit paper! Also, I do not need your help driving the car, >never mind what you saw on television! > > To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door..... > > Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets: > > 1. They live here. You don't. > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. >3. I like my pet better than I like most people. 4. To you it's an animal. >To me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy walks on all >fours and doesn't speak clearly. > > > Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money >all the time, are easier to train. Usually come when called, never drive >your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, >don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, >don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you >can sell the results. > > Sincerely, > Your Owner
__________________ PEBBLES AND SASHA MY DOGS ARE NOT SPOILED...I'M JUST WELL TRAINED! |
Welcome Guest! | |
06-18-2005, 05:42 PM | #2 |
Lily Loves Maximus Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,633
| Oh that was soooo cute!
__________________ Lily and Dawn |
06-18-2005, 06:17 PM | #3 |
I Love My Boys Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,504
| THat is soo cute and very funny
__________________ Staci , Cosmo, Astro, and Blu (RIP) Cosmo's Age: http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...k/d69e/age.png Astro's Age: http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...k/9c6a/age.png |
06-18-2005, 10:22 PM | #5 |
BANNED! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Austin,Texas
Posts: 194
| LOL That was too funny!! |
06-20-2005, 07:57 AM | #6 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NJ
Posts: 4,021
| I LOVED it! I don't think many people come on this forum, you should post it on the general yorkie discussion!
__________________ Teri Owned by and completely devoted to Tucker... Maddie, we will always love you Bandit, you are always in my heart Proud Member SSLS |
06-20-2005, 08:11 AM | #7 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Massachusettes
Posts: 547
| hehe cute indeed
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