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08-14-2007, 10:45 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| bridesmaids angst!!!! AAARRRGGG!!! OMG!!!! Im soooooooo aggravated and frustrated!!! My best friend (of 17 years) is getting married in 2 months. I am a bridesmaid, so is our other friend, and her sister. Her sister and I used to be GREAT friends, we lived together for 2 years. About a year & a half ago, she decided she 'couldn't be as close to me' anymore. She never gave me a reason why. Anyways... now her and the other friend, suddenly over the last year have become BEST BUDDIES! (Keep in mind we are all 30 year old women!!!) So despite everything I have put aside all differences and am willing to do anything to make my friends wedding and all activites fun and memorable and pleasant for her. So ive been friendly towards her sister. Its been tooth & nail fighting her every step of the way for every event leading up to this wedding. The Jack & Jill she wants big & fancy... we talk her out of it (not just me, the whole wedding party said jack & jills are bare basics, not extravagance). So today it was the Bachelorette party. She wants 13 people to each pile into 4 different cars to go wherever we plan to go. I want to rent a van with a driver. Easier, safer, etc... split by 13 people is roughly $50 each. Not too bad right? Well my other friend (the other bridesmaid) talked to me last night saying she wanted to rent a van also. So I tell 'the sister' this today that we both want to rent the van. She sends us both a NASTY email. So I write back saying "hey, we obviously all have different expectations and thoughts as to what 'the bride' wants. Lets get together and discuss this" and the other bridesmaid (friends with us both) sent her back a lengthy email asking her to not be angry with her and she was just 'running with me' and my ideas the other night when we hung out. No copying me on this. So the sister (shes not all that bright) replies to her email with a long email and CCs me on it... so I get to read the other email too. The other bridesmaid threw me under the bus to save her own A$$ from an arguement and didnt try to stand up for what she told me JUST LAST NIGHT that SHE wanted to do!!!! (shes been my friend for like 15 years!!) NOw I have to go shoe shopping with them all tonight. I dont want to go, but also, this ALSO has been a fight. Bride wants us to wear fairly similar shoes in the same color. I want heels ... this is not anything they would not expect I am a shoe-aholic and wear heels ... Everyday pratically. Plus its a night wedding with a floor length gown. But her sister is saying she wants to wear flats.... so now, another battle. After todays nastiness I can't handle another battle tonight. Im at my wits end and all these 'events' havent even happened yet. Wish me luck!!! I need it!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
Welcome Guest! | |
08-14-2007, 10:58 AM | #2 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: MO
Posts: 522
| aww. good luck. i had a similar situation. a good friend of mine is getting married in october and since the beginning, she's always asked my opinion on everything (i'm not in her bridal party, but i'm attending the wedding). well, my ex-roommate and ex-best friend (we had living issues among other things), who is one of her bridesmaids, has fought my opinions on everything, counter-opinioning (is that word?) to everything i offered which frustrated me completely. the bride, however, liked all my ideas since we have the same taste. but anyway, good luck and i hope it gets better. i say, just focus more on your best friend.after all, it's all about the bride.
__________________ Mommy to Miss Mocha Member of the Spoiled Rotten Club |
08-14-2007, 11:01 AM | #3 |
Luvs Lulu Donating Member | Hon first off that was really pathetic of the other bridesmaid and also from your former buddy. I hate the cliquie things. For god sakes I have no idea why some women tend to be catty. Listen I personally don't think that everyone should have to wear the same shoe. Some people like flats while some are accustomed to walking in heels. I also wanted to say that I think your idea of the van is best being as if the girls are gonna hang people are going to want to drink so it's best to have a designated driver. Your right on the money. Just say to yourself it's for your friend and just smile and ignore the two other heffas.
__________________ Lulu will always be in my heart |
08-14-2007, 11:58 AM | #4 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| I've never understood this. The bridesmaids are doing the bride a favor in a sense, however they never have any say. Yet they just have to keep handing out dollar after dollar.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
08-14-2007, 12:28 PM | #5 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Yeah... this bride is amazing really... she is soo easy! Ive only been in 2 weddings...well this will be my 2nd. I dont think its really all that fun! Except you are the 2nd nicest dressed in the place... but other people are wearing what you have on! haha so 'the sister' just sent an email about how broke she is and she does not know how she is going to afford shoes tonight, nevermind anything else. This irritates me... we had 2 years!!! she got engaged OVER 2 years ago! Put some money ASIDE!!!!! When i was asked to be in it, I was engaged myself. I owned a house with my ex... we broke up and I lost a good amount of money on cancelling our wedding and then selling our house and buying my own, I dish out more in bills now than I did then, yet Ive managed to put some aside for this. (oh and she quit her job a couple weeks ago bc she felt like soemthing wasn't right and she couldnt stay!) I just don't want her brokeness to make us scrimp on giving the bride the best we can give. We've all be CLOSE friends for so loonnggg!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
08-14-2007, 01:11 PM | #6 |
Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: wiith my furbabys
Posts: 8,874
| My daughter is getting married next sat the 25th, Its not a real big wedding, but i think sometime people are selfish, we have had a few ups and downs, but for the most part everyone has gotten along quite well, I want to wish you the best, beleive me i know how stressed you can get, as far as shoes goes, my daughter let her girls wear what they wanted, some like flats others wanted heels, I hope everything goes well for you sounds like you are the bigger person and that shows great respect for you
__________________ |
08-14-2007, 01:25 PM | #7 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Texas
Posts: 530
| i do agree that you need to ask the bride what SHE wants. and you know, you're already so frustrated, you should do it in front of the rest of the girls. say, "We all have different opinions on what you want, so i just want to hear it from you! this is your wedding." yes, you might be putting her on the spot, but if everyone is around then it becomes LAW! the only thing about the shoes i can think of would be standing pictures!! and if you are on the beach or grass. you mentioned the gowns are FLOOR LENGth, so the shoes won't even be visible... good luck and paitience!! tina |
08-15-2007, 09:10 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Shoe shopping went good... We are all getting heels. Well I should say, we all got heels. One of the bridesmaids did not find shoes but she wants heels. the bride pretty much said at one point "get what you want, what you'll be comfortable in" I ended up finding heels but they are not overly high and the other girl who wanted flats ended up finding heels also that she likes, so it all worked out! Thank you thank you!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
08-15-2007, 09:33 AM | #9 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| Glad to hear it went well!!
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
08-16-2007, 03:26 PM | #10 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| OH LADIES! Boy do I have an update! This beats all of that stuff and then some! this time it has to do with the ushers!! I know the guys don't generally pay attention to details, so us girls figured we'd pretty much have to plan the jack and jill and tell the guys how much it cost and theyd just give us $$ to do it. But to be fair we set up a meeting with all 6 bridal party members and the 2 sets of parents. Only 1 of the guys went, the other sent his wife (the grooms sister so no biggie) and the other did not show up, no call or acknowlegement of the meeting email at all. (and phone call about the meeting) so we all meet (minus the 2 guys, but we have ones wife remember) about 2 months ago and plan the jack & jill. We estimated $130 per bridal party member will cover it (this was said in the meeting). We disperse, make all the reservations, etc. So forward 2 months to today. Our DJ backed out, and we have 3 weeks til the jack and jill so we are scrambling to find a new dj that is not outrageously priced either. so I sent an email to the 6 bridal party member and the parents with just a basic reminder of the jack & jill and one of the guys has to get them there and I said that our DJ bailed and a new one is going to probably be more money. I got back the RUDEST and MEANEST emails from the guys EVER! One said that we never told him anything and hes not paying for it at all and we should have had a shower (this is the one who sent his WIFE to the meeting instead of himself) The other one said that he knew nothing about this and that its too much money and the third one wants to bring an iPod and speakers and set them up in the hall instead of a DJ cuz its getting too expensive! We are talking maybe $150 a person to pay for the jack and jill. I know its not super cheap but they have had 2 years to save for it (again that 2 years comes up) and they were RUDE to me and personally attacked me saying I was disorganized and thoughtless of others. ME!!!! I did nothing but show up to that meeting with 10 other people and send out this reminder email!!! So now us 3 girls are going to up picking up the entire cost of the jack & jill bc they are all broke LOSERS!! Im sooooo mad!!!! And to top it by being that awful to me and personally attacking me! Im sooooo sick and tired of broke a$$ boys!!! This is pathetic, they are whining about $30 more each bc they are soooooooooo broke and making us 3 girls pay the entire $200 more b/t us. How do they think that we are any richer than they are?? Im telling you all, this is the LAST wedding I'll ever be in! Its just nuts! My emails back to them were sooooooooo nice considering what they said to me! I am trying to keep the peace bc I dont want them to go back to the bride or groom with any drama. One said that we didnt give him a concrete price so hes not paying anything at all. I told him that we told his wife about $130. He said it was not concrete so how was he supposed to know how much to budget?? GIVE ME A BREAK!!! Ya know money is tight for everyone but he could have had the $130 at least and said he could do no more than that! That I would understand, but to say he has NOTHING??? GGRRRRRRRRR Thanks for listening!! Its been a LLLOOONNNGGGG day!!!!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
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