My 3rd graders teacher yelled at them then said "DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS!!" - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Heather Taylor · 08-14-2007, 07:37 PM

ok, week 2 of school, and I was expecting "Third grade is HARD!" What I was not expecting was an 8 year old boy who didn't want to go to sleep, crying about not wanting to go to school in the morning.

Apparently, his new teacher yelled at several of them and made them write their name on the board. Then told them they'd better not tell their parents because the parents would be up at the school trying to get her fired!!!

What the h***???? Anybody out there have any input on this? My son and I have a very close relationship. His dad told him once not to tell me something and it just tore him up for days and days until he finally did. Now he's crying because some teacher that I haven't even got to know is thinking the parents will try to get her fired? Where there is smoke???

Any teachers out there that can reassure me about this...I'm waiting!!!

alaskayorkie · 08-14-2007, 07:46 PM

Wow! I'm not a teacher and I have no kids, but that sounds bizarre. I think you absolutely have to talk to the teacher and the principal, right away. If the teacher really said that, he or she should be fired on the spot. And if your kid is making up stories, you want to know about that too.

YorkieMom55 · 08-14-2007, 07:49 PM

I am not a teacher, I am a mother of a now grown daughter and a grandmother of an 8 yr old boy. I would be at the school first thing in the morning and introduce myself to the principal and the teacher and find out what the "H" is going on. That is abuse. There is no excuse for anything like that going on. That kind of stuff went on in the '60's at private schools & that's where it needed to end. If I didn't get results with them I would visit the Superintendent of Schools & the School Board President. Someone needs to speak up for children when something like this happens. To be told not to speak to their parents is a cruel mind game. I'm sorry if my input is a little over the top.....I just don't like to see kids bullied by adults.

bek74 · 08-14-2007, 07:53 PM

I would walk be up at the school first thing in the morning speaking with that teacher. That is not exceptable behaviour coming from a teacher.

I won't get into my issues, but I have had nothing but problems with my 7yr old son. He has been to he$$ and back since he started school at 5 1/2yrs. He has been to bed crying many of times.

The only advise I can offer is to get up to the school, show your son that you will not tolerate anybody putting him in such a postion and that he can trust you and tell you anything.

Good luck and please keep me posted with what the teacher has to say.

diach · 08-14-2007, 08:08 PM

I'm a teacher. I have been teaching in an elementary school for over 20 years. In this day and age, I would never tell a child to keep something from their parents!!!
Since your child is very upset, I would write the teacher a note asking her to give you a call. (Don't write why you want to talk to her.) When she calls you can then get her side of the story. Maybe the teachers were told to use positive discipline, not negative, and she didn't want to get caught. (Not that what she said was right.). Or maybe the teacher was joking. (I once jokingly told 2nd graders that I was moving to Alaska. I had parents wishing me well at the end of the year.)
Judging by the teacher's explanation, you will know if you need to discuss this incident with the principal. Your child should not go to bed upset and not want to go to school.
Good luck.

Jenn218 · 08-14-2007, 08:08 PM

I worked at my daughters elementary school (she is now homeschooled) for several years and this is unexceptable!!! I would definitely set up a meeting with the teacher or a phone meeting...if that gets you no where, go straight to the principal.

It is normal for kids to get their names on the board (if they misbehaive or not complete their in class work), and in most cases, they either sit in the hallway to get their work down or sit in a certain area outside at recess or sit in the office until recess is over....this is what we use to do.

But her yelling and then telling them NOT to tell the parent's, etc....that just says to me that she has had issues in the past and she is afraid of what might happen....big warning sign!!

I remember when my daughter was in kindgarten, the kids all had to sit with their classmates in the hallway until school began (teachers in the room). I would always walk her in and wait and then walk her to her classroom....there was a different teacher on "morning" duty each day; which they all had to follow pretty much the same rules....course, some were more strict, some more easy going.

This is ONE teacher for a hallway of K-4th grade students (each sitting against the wall by their rooms - K sat by the library). They all had a tub of books to look thru and read while they wanted.

On this particular morning, my daughter and I were rummaging thru the book tub by her classmates and we are talking about which ones looked good (she loved books). The duty teacher yelled to be quiet....I never thought she was talking to us.....THEN she came to my daughter and said that she had told her once to be quiet and sit down and wanted her to stand with her nose on the wall. Boy, you can imagine how pissed off I was. I had been squatted down going thru the books and I stood straight up and (being the professional I am and the good mommy), nicely told her that she would not yell at my daughter (which was bawling) and that she would not be repremanding for talking to her mother. We went straight to the principals office. That was VERY uncalled for. Later that year, the whole morning routine was changed (for the better) and I have to admit, I am sure that I played at big part in that change!

Jenn218 · 08-14-2007, 08:14 PM

Another thing......

I was just over at a friends house and she was showing me pictures of her daughter that the daycare took.

She told me the story about the pictures.....

The parents had no clue that a professional photogragher would be taking their children's pictures....the pictures were to be a gift to the parents from the daycare owner.

Well, my friends daughter came home and said that a man was there and called them one by one into a room to take pictures.......

Can you imagine what my friend thought!!!! Just a few months before, a local daycare owner and her husband were arrested for child abuse (horrible story that I won't even repeat)....so she immediately called the daycare and the owner and to apologize and told her that it was a special surprise/gift for the parents.

Of course, the pictures turned out just beautiful......but still!

I just wanted to mention this because (like mentioned above) in this day and age, you can never be too careful!

chloeandj · 08-14-2007, 08:23 PM

My son had a terrible teacher last year and it's totally scarred him. Be sure you are heard, this type of behavior will only get worse as the year goes on. I am so thrilled with my son's teacher this year, he really needed her. She is lifting his confidence and spirits daily.

Little Bit · 08-14-2007, 09:51 PM

I would suggest that after the confrontation with the teacher and/or principal (I suggest "and") that you have your son moved to another classroom, as I think it would be afraid she may hold it against him that he told you and got her in trouble.

Catrina · 08-14-2007, 10:08 PM

DEFINITELY go talk to the teacher and if nothing gets resolved then maybe talk to another parent and see if their kid said the same thing.. maybe all go in to talk to the principle together about what happened..

Morkie4 · 08-14-2007, 10:19 PM

Yep a discussion with the teacher needs to be arranged to determine exactly what went down and how it can be prevented in the future. Nip it early in the year so he doesn't have to deal with these feelings all year.

Teryn · 08-15-2007, 04:19 AM

I am a middle school Spanish teacher. I will let you know that I would never tell me kids NOT to say something to their parents. First of all, I like to keep the communication lines open. Second of all, what you tell kids not to do they will do anyway, it's like telling the sun not to shine. So teachers have to make sure that they are always doing the right thing and watching their backs. Now, I am not a person that yells, but I have done it a couple of times in extreme circumstance. But then again, I teach middle school not elementary. But when I yelled, I never would have told them not to tell their parents.

I will say though too, schools, teachers, and education DO get blamed for a lot of irrational things. We have a trigger happy and lawsuit society unfortunately. She may be TOO paranoid about something happening to her.

However with all that aside, I would definitely write a note to have her call you and for you to discuss it rationally first to get her full story. Based on her reactions and explanation, you will know if you need to seek further assistance (from principal, etc.) and/or move your child out of the class. Most of the time, things like this are just a misunderstanding/miscommunication. So, give her the benefit of the doubt until you know otherwise. Keep us posted!

Graleyne · 08-15-2007, 04:39 AM

I went through hell and back with my oldest daughter's 5th grade teacher. In our case she was using humiliation as a form of punishment. I won't go into details but some of the things she made the kids (not just my daughter although she seemed to catch the brunt of it) do were just horrid! She did end up getting fired. I can tell you I was up at that school in that principal's office at least 2 - 3 times a week.

I am a very firm believer in standing up for and protecting my kids. If my child came home and was crying and telling me their teacher did something and then told them not to tell their parents I would be up at that school so fast your head would spin.

First, I would be nice and polite and speak with the teacher. If it happened after that, principal. Any time after that principal and superintendent.

Yorkiekids · 08-15-2007, 05:28 AM

I'm studying to be a teacher, and she should get fired. I'd go straight to the Principal with this, and make sure you tell him the whole story. Good teachers don't teach through intimidation.

newmommy · 08-15-2007, 05:31 AM

I would go to the school. period.

08-14-2007, 07:37 PM	#1
Heather Taylor Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Mississippi Posts: 104	My 3rd graders teacher yelled at them then said "DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS!!" ok, week 2 of school, and I was expecting "Third grade is HARD!" What I was not expecting was an 8 year old boy who didn't want to go to sleep, crying about not wanting to go to school in the morning. Apparently, his new teacher yelled at several of them and made them write their name on the board. Then told them they'd better not tell their parents because the parents would be up at the school trying to get her fired!!! What the h***???? Anybody out there have any input on this? My son and I have a very close relationship. His dad told him once not to tell me something and it just tore him up for days and days until he finally did. Now he's crying because some teacher that I haven't even got to know is thinking the parents will try to get her fired? Where there is smoke??? Any teachers out there that can reassure me about this...I'm waiting!!!

08-14-2007, 07:46 PM	#2
alaskayorkie Banning Thread Dictator Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Anchorage Posts: 30,843 Blog Entries: 57	Wow! I'm not a teacher and I have no kids, but that sounds bizarre. I think you absolutely have to talk to the teacher and the principal, right away. If the teacher really said that, he or she should be fired on the spot. And if your kid is making up stories, you want to know about that too. __________________ Mike ~ Doting Dad to Jillie, Harper, Molly, Cooper, Eddie (RIP), Lucy (RIP), Rusty (RIP) and Jack (RIP). Check us out on YouTube

08-14-2007, 07:49 PM	#3
YorkieMom55 All Dogs Go To Heaven Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: By The Lake Posts: 2,727	I am not a teacher, I am a mother of a now grown daughter and a grandmother of an 8 yr old boy. I would be at the school first thing in the morning and introduce myself to the principal and the teacher and find out what the "H" is going on. That is abuse. There is no excuse for anything like that going on. That kind of stuff went on in the '60's at private schools & that's where it needed to end. If I didn't get results with them I would visit the Superintendent of Schools & the School Board President. Someone needs to speak up for children when something like this happens. To be told not to speak to their parents is a cruel mind game. I'm sorry if my input is a little over the top.....I just don't like to see kids bullied by adults. __________________ Jeanie I am @ the Lake Jackson, Maggie, Sunshine, Bailey, Rocky, Emmie & Jack

08-14-2007, 07:53 PM	#4
bek74 Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Brisbane Australia Posts: 23	I would walk be up at the school first thing in the morning speaking with that teacher. That is not exceptable behaviour coming from a teacher. I won't get into my issues, but I have had nothing but problems with my 7yr old son. He has been to he$$ and back since he started school at 5 1/2yrs. He has been to bed crying many of times. The only advise I can offer is to get up to the school, show your son that you will not tolerate anybody putting him in such a postion and that he can trust you and tell you anything. Good luck and please keep me posted with what the teacher has to say. __________________ With luv from Down Under

08-14-2007, 08:08 PM	#6
Jenn218 Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3 Posts: 17,329	I worked at my daughters elementary school (she is now homeschooled) for several years and this is unexceptable!!! I would definitely set up a meeting with the teacher or a phone meeting...if that gets you no where, go straight to the principal. It is normal for kids to get their names on the board (if they misbehaive or not complete their in class work), and in most cases, they either sit in the hallway to get their work down or sit in a certain area outside at recess or sit in the office until recess is over....this is what we use to do. But her yelling and then telling them NOT to tell the parent's, etc....that just says to me that she has had issues in the past and she is afraid of what might happen....big warning sign!! I remember when my daughter was in kindgarten, the kids all had to sit with their classmates in the hallway until school began (teachers in the room). I would always walk her in and wait and then walk her to her classroom....there was a different teacher on "morning" duty each day; which they all had to follow pretty much the same rules....course, some were more strict, some more easy going. This is ONE teacher for a hallway of K-4th grade students (each sitting against the wall by their rooms - K sat by the library). They all had a tub of books to look thru and read while they wanted. On this particular morning, my daughter and I were rummaging thru the book tub by her classmates and we are talking about which ones looked good (she loved books). The duty teacher yelled to be quiet....I never thought she was talking to us.....THEN she came to my daughter and said that she had told her once to be quiet and sit down and wanted her to stand with her nose on the wall. Boy, you can imagine how pissed off I was. I had been squatted down going thru the books and I stood straight up and (being the professional I am and the good mommy), nicely told her that she would not yell at my daughter (which was bawling) and that she would not be repremanding for talking to her mother. We went straight to the principals office. That was VERY uncalled for. Later that year, the whole morning routine was changed (for the better) and I have to admit, I am sure that I played at big part in that change! __________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! Last edited by Jenn218; 08-14-2007 at 08:10 PM.

08-14-2007, 08:08 PM	#5
diach Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 225	I'm a teacher. I have been teaching in an elementary school for over 20 years. In this day and age, I would never tell a child to keep something from their parents!!! Since your child is very upset, I would write the teacher a note asking her to give you a call. (Don't write why you want to talk to her.) When she calls you can then get her side of the story. Maybe the teachers were told to use positive discipline, not negative, and she didn't want to get caught. (Not that what she said was right.). Or maybe the teacher was joking. (I once jokingly told 2nd graders that I was moving to Alaska. I had parents wishing me well at the end of the year.) Judging by the teacher's explanation, you will know if you need to discuss this incident with the principal. Your child should not go to bed upset and not want to go to school. Good luck.

08-14-2007, 08:14 PM	#7
Jenn218 Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3 Posts: 17,329	Another thing...... I was just over at a friends house and she was showing me pictures of her daughter that the daycare took. She told me the story about the pictures..... The parents had no clue that a professional photogragher would be taking their children's pictures....the pictures were to be a gift to the parents from the daycare owner. Well, my friends daughter came home and said that a man was there and called them one by one into a room to take pictures....... Can you imagine what my friend thought!!!! Just a few months before, a local daycare owner and her husband were arrested for child abuse (horrible story that I won't even repeat)....so she immediately called the daycare and the owner and to apologize and told her that it was a special surprise/gift for the parents. Of course, the pictures turned out just beautiful......but still! I just wanted to mention this because (like mentioned above) in this day and age, you can never be too careful! __________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts!

08-14-2007, 08:23 PM	#8
chloeandj Tinkerbell, My Little Flutterpup Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Beautiful California! Posts: 6,112	My son had a terrible teacher last year and it's totally scarred him. Be sure you are heard, this type of behavior will only get worse as the year goes on. I am so thrilled with my son's teacher this year, he really needed her. She is lifting his confidence and spirits daily.

08-14-2007, 09:51 PM	#9
Little Bit Tiny Dog Big Heart Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 6,205	I would suggest that after the confrontation with the teacher and/or principal (I suggest "and") that you have your son moved to another classroom, as I think it would be afraid she may hold it against him that he told you and got her in trouble. __________________ Little Bit

08-14-2007, 10:08 PM	#10
Catrina I love my lil wolf! ;) Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Washington Posts: 2,434	DEFINITELY go talk to the teacher and if nothing gets resolved then maybe talk to another parent and see if their kid said the same thing.. maybe all go in to talk to the principle together about what happened..

08-14-2007, 10:19 PM	#11
Morkie4 Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 4,549	Yep a discussion with the teacher needs to be arranged to determine exactly what went down and how it can be prevented in the future. Nip it early in the year so he doesn't have to deal with these feelings all year. __________________ CAROL ~ Krissie ~ Toby ~ Brandy ~ Buffy Proud member of Maltesetalk and Yorkietalk

08-15-2007, 04:19 AM	#12
Teryn YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 250	I am a middle school Spanish teacher. I will let you know that I would never tell me kids NOT to say something to their parents. First of all, I like to keep the communication lines open. Second of all, what you tell kids not to do they will do anyway, it's like telling the sun not to shine. So teachers have to make sure that they are always doing the right thing and watching their backs. Now, I am not a person that yells, but I have done it a couple of times in extreme circumstance. But then again, I teach middle school not elementary. But when I yelled, I never would have told them not to tell their parents. I will say though too, schools, teachers, and education DO get blamed for a lot of irrational things. We have a trigger happy and lawsuit society unfortunately. She may be TOO paranoid about something happening to her. However with all that aside, I would definitely write a note to have her call you and for you to discuss it rationally first to get her full story. Based on her reactions and explanation, you will know if you need to seek further assistance (from principal, etc.) and/or move your child out of the class. Most of the time, things like this are just a misunderstanding/miscommunication. So, give her the benefit of the doubt until you know otherwise. Keep us posted! __________________ Mother to 2 gorgeous & intelligent little yorkies, (Chica) Mia and Yoshi , and 1 chinchilla Posh !

08-15-2007, 04:39 AM	#13
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	I went through hell and back with my oldest daughter's 5th grade teacher. In our case she was using humiliation as a form of punishment. I won't go into details but some of the things she made the kids (not just my daughter although she seemed to catch the brunt of it) do were just horrid! She did end up getting fired. I can tell you I was up at that school in that principal's office at least 2 - 3 times a week. I am a very firm believer in standing up for and protecting my kids. If my child came home and was crying and telling me their teacher did something and then told them not to tell their parents I would be up at that school so fast your head would spin. First, I would be nice and polite and speak with the teacher. If it happened after that, principal. Any time after that principal and superintendent. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

08-15-2007, 05:28 AM	#14
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I'm studying to be a teacher, and she should get fired. I'd go straight to the Principal with this, and make sure you tell him the whole story. Good teachers don't teach through intimidation. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

08-15-2007, 05:31 AM	#15
newmommy Keep Me Away From eBay Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,109	I would go to the school. period. __________________ There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face!!