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08-09-2007, 07:16 PM | #16 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 24
| Re: I Understand Hi Tammy, Reading your story reminded me of myself in so many ways. I was a stay at home mommy for a year and felt the exact same way that you are feeling. I couldnt get enough sleep, felt fat and unappreciated and now years later i realize that what i was feeling was a mild bout of depression. You have to try to find some "me" time for yourself. I would leave my son with my mom and just take brisk walks. The walking helped me to clear my mind and to just think as well as helped me to shed the pounds. another thing that i would do was to try working out just for about 15 minutes or so to a dvd and my son would "try" to do the same. It is amazing what working out does for the mind. I was also that woman that people would stare at but being a stay at home mom I didnt feel like that woman anymore. I eventually went back to work and am now back to my old self, I can sleep late and my son basically takes care of himself (he is now 12) and ironically i got to a point where i then felt useless and didn't even know what to do with myself because all of a sudden I had all of this free time. I had to find myself again but when I found myself it was a better, new improved me because I felt a renewed sense of accomplishment! Just keep telling yourself that this is a phase that you are going through to benefit the children and you will get back to yourself. Trust that you will. I think every mom has felt this way at some time or another. If you like you are MORE than welcome to send me an email and we can chat further. I understand what you are going through and would be more than happy to just listen or offer words of encouragement! Tanya PS sorry that it was so long |
Welcome Guest! | |
08-09-2007, 07:19 PM | #17 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Washington
Posts: 1,184
| I take one day a month for myself. It helps so much and I don't let myself feel guilty about it. Mommies give and give and have to demand tose please and thankyous. You completely deserve it. You will feel more relaxed and happier and your family will notice. Go get your hair done or dress up for lunch, it may sound silly but that is what you probably used to to regularly. Sounds like you have very smart children and they will notice that you take time for you, and recreate this later in their own lives.
__________________ My belongs to Copper and Maddie Mae RIP Sweet Rocky Mommy misses you |
08-09-2007, 07:22 PM | #18 | |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: With My Beautiful Fur Babies!
Posts: 5,525
| Quote:
Honestly, when I tell my husband how stressed I am and that I need a vacation, he acts like I am crazy. He truly thinks that this is an easy job. Last edited by TammyJM; 08-09-2007 at 07:23 PM. | |
08-09-2007, 07:22 PM | #19 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Iceland
Posts: 74
| I agree, it is important for parents to take care of themselfs. The best thing we can give to our children is happy parents So take some time for yourself, to get out of the house and do something for yourself (take a class, exercise, yoga, some hobby etc). Also If I were you I would talk to my husband, I would not be happy with this answer from him. It does not do any good to the children to have a mom that is so exhausted, it is not "how you choose to feel", it just developed this way. A happy stay at home mom should spent alot of time with her children but also take a little time regularly to herself I think that that is what you would prefer, I am sure he will understand. ....if not, just let him watch some Dr.Phil shows about this subject, then he will understand Good luck! Last edited by Chico; 08-09-2007 at 07:26 PM. |
08-09-2007, 07:38 PM | #20 | |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: With My Beautiful Fur Babies!
Posts: 5,525
| Quote:
You are so kind to have shared your experience with me...I am tears from reading your post. I am going to head to bed in a few minutes but I want to send you an email tomorrow morning. Thanks again! Tammy | |
08-09-2007, 07:42 PM | #21 | |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: With My Beautiful Fur Babies!
Posts: 5,525
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08-09-2007, 08:04 PM | #22 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Missouri
Posts: 1,693
| Oh boy... I can totally relate! I'm a SAHM of 5. I am going to start homeschooling 2 of them this year. I just sent you a pm!
__________________ Steph, Mama to 6 skin babies and beautiful yorkies! |
08-09-2007, 08:08 PM | #23 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: VA
Posts: 286
| You need to take some time out for yourself. Take a walk, go to the gym, a bubble bath, take a class or whatever you want to do. That alone time does wonders to refresh your batteries and self worth. You, your kids and your husband will be better for it. When mommy is feeling run down, everyone feels it whether it's obvious or not. It took me 8 years to figure that out. Ask your hubby to watch the kids for an hour or so. Or is there a daycare center you can use by the hour? Do you know any other moms that might want to try play dates? Do you have family close by that can watch the kids a few hours a week? I'd also have a long talk with the hubby. Let him know exactly how you feel and what you need from him (support, acknowledgement, etc). My hubby and I have these talks every so often. He seems to need little reminders every now and again. I hope you're able to find something that works for you.
__________________ Ivy, Mommy to Brody! |
08-09-2007, 09:01 PM | #24 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: none
Posts: 1,495
| Quote:
I am a BIG advocate of going to online college. I think a woman needs to be able to have a skill or money to fall back on incase life doesn't go as planned. There is another thread on here about online college you should check out. I go to Southern Illinois University, the program I am in is 100% online. I really feel like I'm setting a good example for my son when he sees me studying, he always says that he wants homework too! It's also great to have a goal like a degree to work towards, it's not an endless cycle like chores and laundry! You can also check to see if there are other stay at home meetups in your area. Also, some churches have get-togethers. Mine used to have a scrapbooking night that I loved! You can also have playdates with your friend's kids. | |
08-09-2007, 09:18 PM | #25 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: none
Posts: 1,495
| By the way Tammy, ask your hubby if it's such an easy job, then why do day care workers get paid so much? Because it is a tough job! If you wanted to charge your hubby, then over here in Chicago it would cost $200/wk for a baby and $100/wk for a child. So you could charge him $300/wk, but that still doesn't include the chores like laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning etc... |
08-10-2007, 03:30 AM | #26 | |
Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys
Posts: 5,056
| Quote:
__________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.. | |
08-10-2007, 04:52 AM | #27 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| I have been a stay at home Mom for 7 yrs but think I am going to go back to work. I willl be working for My Husbands courier co. I am looking forward to the extra money
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
08-10-2007, 05:44 AM | #28 |
YT 2000 Club Member | I am a stay at home mother to 4 boy's ages 13 1/2, 12 1/2, 11,and 10. My second son has a Primary Immune defect and was a sick child till he was about 9 years old. #3 and 4 were born 3 months early and had to spend time in the hospital. Also #3 has ADHD and was diagnosed at age 3 but we did not start meds till he started school. I have had my fair share of the ups and down's of being a SAHM but I am so glad that I have been home for them when they need me. My husband sometimes would not get what I have to do in a day and it would get me mad. I once handed him our child and a bottle and a dipper and told him that I was going to go take a shower without any interruptions and I was sure he knew what to do if baby started to fuss. I shut the door and it was a good half an hour latter that I came back out! I also did not pick up after him or get his plate of food for 3 day's before he apologized for taking me for granted! Sometimes I have to give him a PLAY By PLAY of what it is I want him to help with but guys need that sometimes. They hear I need some help here and think that if they get the door while you are bringing laundry up that is helping you out a lot! Now that the boy's are older, I started to watch my friends 2 little girls so I could still be home is the boy's need me. I enjoy my kids but it is nice to get a break every now and then. I also should say that I have a seizer disorder and have not driven for the past 15 years because we can't get them under control so once my hubby goes to work if I can't walk to it , we don't go! |
08-10-2007, 05:56 AM | #29 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| Quote:
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut | |
08-10-2007, 06:12 AM | #30 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: With My Beautiful Fur Babies!
Posts: 5,525
| You guys are the sweetest group of ladies ever! It makes me feel better to read that I am not alone....which I knew, but it's hard to picture without actually hearing/reading it. Sometimes, the stress makes me so alone. I am 34 years old and would love to go back to college....do you guys think that I am too old? I won't even graduate until I am close to 40.... Tammy |
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