I don't want to be unrealistic...but I'm pulling my daughter out of her day care...

[PuppyLovinNurse]

Ooh girl! I am so mad for you!

If I was closer to you, I'd march right down there with you tomorrow & kick their tushies!!!

I, too, watched my grandmother die right before my eyes. I saw her take her last breath. She died of lung cancer from smoking 3-4 packs a day all her life. She quit 4 years before she died, a few months after she quit she was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 lung cancer. She died in Nov. 2003.

My Grandfather had part of his lung removed at 40-something from lung cancer. He died in Nov. 2002 from lung disease.

My Dad has COPD (a form of emphysema). And I'm terrifed to see what's going to happen with that down the road. It's not curable and it only gets worse.

If it was my child I would feel the same as you & he/she would not be going near that place again.

Have you contacted the other parents? I would...they may not know.

If I ever catch my children smoking I will beat their butts red.

Good luck, girl! You can do it. Stay strong!!! If you need any help whatsoever, let me know! I'll do whatever I can!

[PuppyLovinNurse]

Originally Posted by MyFairLacy

I don't have children but if I did, I would be very angry about this situation too. I honestly don't even like anyone smoking around my dog (it's just as bad for their lungs). My aunts and uncles and memaw smoke on my mom's side of the family and my sister and I and cousin used to stay at my memaw's after school when we were little. I remember my sister and cousin being caught playing with cigarette butts and pretending to smoke them. Well, they both smoke now. I don't because I think it's discusting and just know better. That's really wrong for them to smoke in front of your kids and let them have access to those cigarette butts.

I absolutely agree.

No one is allowed to smoke near Chloe, even if we are outside.

If they insist, I leave. If it's at my house, they are asked to stop or leave.

[candybaby]

OH, no that is against the law.. Do you know second hand smoke can kill before first hand smoke..

No, no, no, no, no they need to be reported. When my daughter was in pre-school a few years ago one of her pre-school teacher's smoked and one day I came to pick her up and seen that teacher standing at the corner, I said, "what are you doing way down here", she said, "I'm having a ciggaratte". That made me happy to know she DID NOT smoke in front of the kids because like you I'm not a smoker..

[iloveemmy]

OMG...that is awful! You should definitely pull your daughter out of that daycare! Be sure to tell the owner why...is she one of the ones smoking? Also, if you know any of the other parents please advise them, too. They may not pull their kids, but at least you have notified them. It is illegal to smoke in a public health care/daycare/school. Is this a private home? Do they have a license? Definitely report them, too.

My parents both smoked and smoking contributed to their deaths--cancer and stroke. My children never knew my father, he died at 39, from a stroke (he smoked 2-3 packs of Pall Mall a day). They both knew and loved my mother and watched her die from cancer. Neither of my children ever smoked! I don't either! I refuse to even be around it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but please remember to let others know--I am sure other parents would want to know what their children are also being exposed to!

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by iloveemmy

OMG...that is awful! You should definitely pull your daughter out of that daycare! Be sure to tell the owner why...is she one of the ones smoking? Also, if you know any of the other parents please advise them, too. They may not pull their kids, but at least you have notified them. It is illegal to smoke in a public health care/daycare/school. Is this a private home? Do they have a license? Definitely report them, too.

My parents both smoked and smoking contributed to their deaths--cancer and stroke. My children never knew my father, he died at 39, from a stroke (he smoked 2-3 packs of Pall Mall a day). They both knew and loved my mother and watched her die from cancer. Neither of my children ever smoked! I don't either! I refuse to even be around it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but please remember to let others know--I am sure other parents would want to know what their children are also being exposed to!

yes, this is a "private home" day care...the owner smokes. Yes, she is licensed. She has 3 people that work for her, and one of them smokes. She also has 2 grown sons that are there a lot (VERY sweet boys) but they also both smoke. and they ALL do it in front of the kids.

you are all completely right. I'm glad I'm not over-reacting. I was worried I would get yelled at by someone on here saying that I was being irrational because it is impossible to keep her from people that smoke...since so many people do it these days. but I just feel like any exposure to it that I can limit, it is my duty as her mother to protect her and limit all that I can. she knows what it is....but I have to keep her from getting sick because of it, and from being around influences that don't feel the need to tell the kids that it is bad for then. and the sheer fact that they are leaving them laying around so the kids can get to them...that pisses me off too!!!

I was hoping I would wake up this morning and feel better but I am still very angry. I don't have a lot of the parent's phone numbers, but one of my dear friends takes her son there, and I plan on telling her. I have to be careful tho, she is a smoker and she is very sensitive (gets her feelings hurt easy). But I'm sure she will understand how I feel. She may know some of the other parent's numbers as well.


Thank you for the hotline number...I will call it!!!!

[LunasMomma]

WOW, that is outrageous, and you are right to be mad Those people are being paid to watch the children, NOT to smoke! I am a smoker, but I also am not a daycare provider. They need to be reported!

[pepe mint]

someone on another thread told me i am being "a tad bit hysterical" about this...that kids mimic what they see..

here: read the post:
________________________
I think you are being a tad bit hysterical about this Kids copy adult behavior that they see frequently. If you have a new baby they will pretend to breastfeed their baby doll. Little boys/girls will pretend to put on lipstick like Mommy. They are just trying on a behavior to see what it feels like.

This would be an excelent time to discuss with your dd the danger of smoking and how gross it is. I would also be discussing this with the director. Let her know that it has always made you uncomfortable, and now with this new development you think that their policy should be different.

_______________________

this is from a parenting forum i visit.

this is what I replied back:

____________________________

I just don't think they should be smoking around the kids. you are right...they mimic what they see...this is not something you encourage children to do. period. you know a kid mimics what they see and hear...you do not curse around the kids, you do not have sex in front of the kids, you should not smoke around the kids. it is one thing if a parent decides to smoke around their children. that is their choice....but for a day care provider to do it...that is stepping on toes of parents in my eyes.

______________________________

am I wrong?? am I being "hysterical" about it? I dont' think so. I have talked to a couple of the parents there and they are just as upset as I am. So i don't think I am out of line here.

[browniesmom622]

you are NOT WRONG dont listen to them !!
i would contact someone this is so insane that would think thats ok !
the big thing is they werent watching the kids at all and they left there cig buts arounds for the kids to get

[pepe mint]

wow...i'm getting killed on that forum. they all think i'm wrong. wow.

i'm just not going to respond anymore...they are being very mean.

[YorkieRose]

I would not want my child with a daycare provider who smoked, period! It is not healthy to breathe second hand smoke, especially children.

I grew up in a family of heavy smokers, my grandmother was the only one who did not..all my aunts uncles, cousins, parents and their friends smoked...I never have myself. I am not a freak about it..don't have to be....

All my "reformed" smoker friends are the ones complaining and moving if we are anywhere there is smoke...it really is funny to watch them! When they were smoking and blowing it in my face, it never dawned on them. Most have apologized profusely to me.

[chloeandj]

I am sorry you are getting bashed on the other forum. But bottom line is, it is against the law. So you are not wrong. Go with your gut here.

[omega]

Originally Posted by pepe mint

I found cigarette butts in my daughters room. When I asked her where she got them, she said "Ms. Brenda's". I said "what were you doing with them???" She was so embarrassed and didn't want to tell me but she finally told me she was pretending. she is 6 years old!!!!!!!!!! I then asked her where she was playing with them and she said "ms. Brenda's". I asked her if she was playing by herself with them and she said no, that there were other kids doing it too. she has been going to this day care all summer...and the adults smoke when they are outside with the kids. in front of the kids.

well, i hope no one here gets offended by this but I am not a smoker...I DESPISE it...and I am VERY angry about this.

first of all, I want to know if they saw the kids playing with these. and IF they did...why didn't they contact the parents and tell them what was happening so that the parents can talk to the children?? and IF they did NOT see them....WHY???? are they not watching the kids????? am I being too sensitive? I am freaking out here. I watched my grandmother die in front of my eyes because she smoked. I cannot stand the thought that my daughter might think this is "cool" or something.

OMG..I am truly freaking out. i don't want to over-react but I seriously do not think I can take my daughter there anymore. I know she will be exposed to smoking...and I do not typically shelter my daughter. But I can't justify taking my child somewhere, paying them a LOT of money to watch my kid, and them obviously not be watching them...and in my eyes, encouraging bad behavior. I mean, if they want to smoke, they are adults and I am not EVER going to tell them not to do it...but I do feel that as a parent, I do have the right to ask them not to do it in front of my child...when they are supposed to be setting a good example for the children. I mean, in essense, they are helping to raise my child. I do not smoke...I do not condone it in my house...why would I want someone who is responsible for instilling values in my child while I am away at work during the days to do it around her??? I just think they should have the decency to do it AWAY from the children. not right there in front of them...all day every day. I have been taking Trinity there for a long time. She used to go there every day until she started school, now it is just summers. But I don't want to take her there anymore. I have always been uncomfortable with the fact that they smoke around the kids. I have always thought it was a bad example for the children. and now it is proving to be true. I should have said something a LONG time ago. I am tempted to call the state board where she is licensed and ask them if it is against any policy's to smoke in the childrens presence. They do not smoke inside...but during the summer, the kids are outside ALL THE TIME and they adults just light up right there in front of them.

am I crazy????

I don't blame you. I'd have my child out of there in a flash. There is no reason for smoking around little ones. Second hand smoke kills, too.

[pepe mint]

wow, i'm being called irrational, unrealistic, hysterical, overprotective, and unfair.

and i posted the exact same thing I posted here.

i'm being told that i might as well put a blindfold on my daughter for the rest of her life.

i give up. i'm just trying to help solve a potential problem with my daughter and i an being totally bashed for it.

what is wrong with the world today???

[chloeandj]

What's the site name? Is it an open forum?

[pepe mint]

yeah, it is a msn forum

it's called "stay at home moms"

i just cancelled my membership there. i'm done

i can't believe they are saying it should be ok for them to smoke around the kids. i'm just very bothered.