This situation is out of hand

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Tiggerwit

You and your boyfriend need to report it if you saw the bruises and this freak in her house. Your brother being a cop should be obligated to report it also since you told him. (I only say this from being married to a cop and it's my understanding that he would be obligated to report a crime if he knew about it). Could be wrong.....

My brother can't report it. We saw him in the house but thought nothing of it since he always used to be in the house, as he used to live there for a little bit. It was afterwards that we found out what happened.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Yorkiedaze

She needs to take charge of her and her daughters life, and don't let a child make decisions that can only be made by an adult. I hope you can talk some sense into her before it's too late.

srry I made a typing error, the child doesn't know anything about what's going on, It's her mom that doesn't want him to go to jail again, that's why she hasn't told the cops

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by sweetr72

Lets hope that would work...!! I would think he should be able to do something but the law varies so much who knows..

Dawn

Yea...my brother can't really do anything about it since he didn't see anything or wasn't there....there's no proof that the guy was in her house. It will only do if she reports it herself and he won't even go to jail right away just for that.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by AngelWorks

She needs to report it. Whatever the process is for a restarining order--she needs to find out and get one.

She needs to get a court appointed person to do the off-site daughter exchange when he has visitation so she doesn't have to be involved.

Change those locks, and add a couple deadbolts.

She needs to NOT communicate with him AT ALL. Cut off all contact.

A restraining order would cover her at work as well so if he coming round there or calling--he needs to be reported.

Everyone at her work need to be aware and also cut him off.

There is NO middle ground or compromise with a person like her ex------none.

She needs you all to stand up for her now and step in-----she will not be able to do this alone as he knows just what buttons to push (he installed them) to get her to crack.

Please help her--her life really does depend on it.

Everyone thinks it can't happen to them---every woman six feet under at the hands of an abuser thought so too.

I think she is in the process of changing her locks. From what my bf told me yesterday when we spoke on the phone was that she spoke to him(her ex) but he didn't hear what they were talking about. He said that she said something about just taking care of her daugther and that he should just do his part. She also went to his family's house to show them the bruises and tell them. The guys sister works with her, so they are co workers, they can't really cut all ties. It's a complicated situation, however she is making it more complicated by not doing anything about it. She is disregarding what happened. When she found out I told my brother what happened and asked for his advice she got mad and said not to tell him anything else and to forget about it. Soo.......not really sure what to do here

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Josie's Mom

I hope everything turns out well.

Thanks...I hope so too for her own good

[Shadow]

That's scarey and is something that shoudn't be taken lightly. I hope she takes a stand to proctect herself and her Daughter.I pray it doesn't turn really ugly.

[Amber_lv]

TAKE PICS OF THE BRUISES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! even if she doesn't do anything now she will have evidence for when she decides she wants to save her life. She obviously doesn;t care and thinks she can control the situation. i am so sorry you have to be involved in this. I really hate to say this but if she on't help herself or her daughter then no one is to blame for what moght happen but her. This guy sounds like a piece of work and it's only a matter of time before you hear this sad story all over the news it only takes one time of him breaking in for it to escalate . this guy is sick he is not right in the head!! What the Hell is she thinking. i mean realy if she wants to be stupid and risk her life then thats her choice but she has a child that can't protect herself. To be honest i would tell her if she doesn't turn him in that you will call child protective services on her for not protecting her child. Does she know the horror and trauma this child will face if he kills her? I am sorry i am not mad at you but this kills me!

[peanut]

She needs to change the locks or move, this isn't going to get better only worse, I don't mean to scare you but if he is that violent then there isn't anything he will not do, he could hurt your b/f his daughter or really hurt his exwife, she & he need help...I am speaking from experience it doesn't get better....tell your b/f sister in a nice way to wake up and do something, people don't change....

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by vainchick5

I have never understood why people just sit back and let stuff like this continue to happen. She needs to report him, and change her locks and whatever else is needed to keep herself and her daughter safe. This is probably why it's not a good idea to date criminals. I feel sorry for her daughter If not for herself she needs to do something to protect her daughter from this weirdo. Quite frankly if I had someone who hit me, I would report his ass and move within 2 minutes of it happening. I hope her daughter doesn't grow up traumatized.

She is being very ignorant and I guess thinks she can handle it herself. You're right, it's not a very good idea to date criminals....I certainly wouldn't. And he's been to jail before, he might not be scared to go again. I would do the same as you if someone hit me, except I would beat his ass or atleast try to lol and then report him.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Shadow

That's scarey and is something that shoudn't be taken lightly. I hope she takes a stand to proctect herself and her Daughter.I pray it doesn't turn really ugly.

Me too!! I hope it doesn't escalate into something else, but from what I've learned about abusive relationships it usually does.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Amber_lv

TAKE PICS OF THE BRUISES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! even if she doesn't do anything now she will have evidence for when she decides she wants to save her life. She obviously doesn;t care and thinks she can control the situation. i am so sorry you have to be involved in this. I really hate to say this but if she on't help herself or her daughter then no one is to blame for what moght happen but her. This guy sounds like a piece of work and it's only a matter of time before you hear this sad story all over the news it only takes one time of him breaking in for it to escalate . this guy is sick he is not right in the head!! What the Hell is she thinking. i mean realy if she wants to be stupid and risk her life then thats her choice but she has a child that can't protect herself. To be honest i would tell her if she doesn't turn him in that you will call child protective services on her for not protecting her child. Does she know the horror and trauma this child will face if he kills her? I am sorry i am not mad at you but this kills me!

She wouldn't let me take pics of them..yeah right. She already is mad that I told me brother about her situation so if I were to take pics she would think I was going to show him and he would get in trouble. She doesn't want to listen. I mean I don't understand it either, she asks me and my bf to help her and then she doesn't listen to us..we both told her to tell the police. I really don't know what I oculd do here if she doesn't want to help herself. It's sad to say but I guess we'll just have to see and hope nothing bad happens.

[Tiggerwit]

I don't understand why she has to be the one to report it. You, your boyfriend and your cop brother all know what's going on. Why is it that you can not report what you suspect and witnessed, (YOU SAW THIS GUY HIDING IN THE HOUSE WHEN HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE), to the police. You also saw the bruises. I would think that the detectives would investigate it and maybe get her the help she needs and a victims advocate would help persuade her to press charges. I know here in Washington State if they cops were called and bruises were witnessed by the police, then he would go to jail whether she wanted to press charges or not. It's mandatory and the State presses charges. Wouldn't hurt to call the police department and ask. It's my opinioin that by doing so you may be saving her life. Especially if he is doing all the things you say he is and breaking in in the middle of the night and beating her.

[AngelWorks]

Originally Posted by mizzwanned

Me too!! I hope it doesn't escalate into something else, but from what I've learned about abusive relationships it usually does.

Always does----history proves this over and over. She is playing with fire and putting that little girl at risk.

God forbid he ever thinks she is movong on with another man.

[mizzwanned]

Ok so she finally changed her locks I feel much safer now