What would you do?

[girdygirl]

What kind of puppy do you have now?

[mh357]

Originally Posted by girdygirl

What kind of puppy do you have now?

I'm raising a service dog who will be going back soon. I'm getting a mastiff puppy in May also, but the yorkie wouldn't come until he's grown and matured so I know they'd be ok together.

[Punkin&Piper]

My husband really didn't like small dogs either..but now I walk in and he is loving little Piper or Punkin and telling them how they are daddies little sweeties. Its really very sweet. He will get over it. We got a mastiff to fill the big dog void and we are a big happy family. Get him his rottie as long as they grow up together things will be fine.

[tiggerr36792]

My honest opinion is I would dump the guy and get the yorkie!!! Men come and go and usually never give you unconditional love, but a yorkie will always give you lots of kisses and unconditional love no matter what. Ok so I dont get slammed here for my opinion I do realize not all men are jerks, but I have to say all yorkies are lovable...lol
Seriously sounds like he is way too controlling, and I do suggest since you say your keeping him, then major communication will be needed to work out any differences. Marriage is work by both people involved and not one sided- so best to find a common ground.

[BubblPopElectrc]

Originally Posted by mh357

I'm raising a service dog who will be going back soon. I'm getting a mastiff puppy in May also, but the yorkie wouldn't come until he's grown and matured so I know they'd be ok together.

Maybe that is why he got so upset about it?

No offense, but if you are already getting one dog in May, and are ALREADY planning to get another dog after that, I can understand his frustrations.

[mh357]

Originally Posted by BubblPopElectrc

Maybe that is why he got so upset about it?

No offense, but if you are already getting one dog in May, and are ALREADY planning to get another dog after that, I can understand his frustrations.

Well I just like to plan as far ahead as I can...researching breeders, getting to know everything about the breed. To me getting a dog isn't a spontaneous decision and I like to do as much research and read as many books as I can to make sure I'm ready. I'd been planning the mastiff for 2 years. That's just the way I go into a longterm commitment, like having a dog.

[BabyFidgette]

If you get the Yorkie he'll probably fall in love with him/her just like a lot of macho men do!

And, I do think that his fight was more than "just" about the dog. I've learned that men hold stuff in until there is a big fight and just let it all out! And that's what he did to you...talking about spending and such. I'm not saying get counseling, just talk it over with him.

Good luck!

[drawlins27]

Okay, not sure if I should butt in here or not but here is my advice.

First of all, as a Psychologist, I do not believe that the problem is truly the Yorkie. Most likely there are some underlying issues in your relationship that have not been dealt with and he is using the Yorkie as an excuse.

I also do not think that your bf has a control issue (I could be wrong, I am only going off what you have said here). His behavior sounds like a normal reaction to the amount of money you have spent for a dog that is a year or two away. From some of the other posts that you have made, it sounds like you may have an issue with compulsive spending. Ask yourself this: How do you feel when you make these purchases? Do you buy things that you really don't have any use for or want? Are you spending more than you can afford? How does it affect your personal relationships with others and your feelings toward yourself?

This does NOT mean that you are to blame for any problems in the relationship. It may just be one of a multitude of issues in the relationship that need to be resolved. It sounds like the two of you have not openly dealt with the issues of children, living arrangements, finances, and so forth that are key to any marriage being successful.

My advice is to go to pre-marital counseling immediately to work on these issues. I think that after the two of you work on these issues, learn how to openly communicate and learn some conflict resolution tools, you will find that he is much more open to the possibility of bringing a Yorkie into your lives. He needs to understand that every relationship is full of give and take and if you really feel a need to have a Yorkie in your life, that might just need to be one of his "gives".

Again, I might be completely wrong here, these are just my observations. If any of this is helpful to you at all, then just let me know where to send my bill

I truly wish you the best and think that with a little work (and any relationship worth having requires work) that the two of you will have a healthy long lasting relationship that others will be envious of.

[mh357]

Originally Posted by drawlins27

Okay, not sure if I should butt in here or not but here is my advice.

First of all, as a Psychologist, I do not believe that the problem is truly the Yorkie. Most likely there are some underlying issues in your relationship that have not been dealt with and he is using the Yorkie as an excuse.

I also do not think that your bf has a control issue (I could be wrong, I am only going off what you have said here). His behavior sounds like a normal reaction to the amount of money you have spent for a dog that is a year or two away. From some of the other posts that you have made, it sounds like you may have an issue with compulsive spending. Ask yourself this: How do you feel when you make these purchases? Do you buy things that you really don't have any use for or want? Are you spending more than you can afford? How does it affect your personal relationships with others and your feelings toward yourself?

This does NOT mean that you are to blame for any problems in the relationship. It may just be one of a multitude of issues in the relationship that need to be resolved. It sounds like the two of you have not openly dealt with the issues of children, living arrangements, finances, and so forth that are key to any marriage being successful.

My advice is to go to pre-marital counseling immediately to work on these issues. I think that after the two of you work on these issues, learn how to openly communicate and learn some conflict resolution tools, you will find that he is much more open to the possibility of bringing a Yorkie into your lives. He needs to understand that every relationship is full of give and take and if you really feel a need to have a Yorkie in your life, that might just need to be one of his "gives".

Again, I might be completely wrong here, these are just my observations. If any of this is helpful to you at all, then just let me know where to send my bill

I truly wish you the best and think that with a little work (and any relationship worth having requires work) that the two of you will have a healthy long lasting relationship that others will be envious of.

Thanks! Well we're still young (both 20) so it's not like we're heading into a marriage next year or something. I probably should have clarified that, so oops on my part. I don't think I have a spending issue because I hardly ever spend money--I'm actually quite stingy. This last week I was having a rough one and wanted to treat myself and he saw how much I was spending and just doesn't think that I should spend that much when I don't even have the dog yet. Which I agree with, but I was having a bad week and wanted to treat myself, which I never or hardly ever do. I agree with him that I'm getting too far ahead of myself here since the dog is so far away, but I could have gone out to buy myself a really expensive purse or something-my fun idea of spending is on the dogs though. I honestly don't think we need couples counseling. We're completely open with everything in our lives, and there are absolutely no secrets at all (HA except that I was spending this much on the non-existent dogs). Which was MY money btw, as some have asked. Like I said he apologized and explained his side which I do agree with on the spending part, but not the little dog thing. That's what we need to work on because he just doesn't like them. Or so he says. I do get way ahead of myself and I realize that...sometimes i need to step back and ask myself questions. But I'm not out spending tons of money every day, week or month.

[mh357]

To add to what I said, it upset me more that I had to tell the bag owner I couldn't buy her stuff--I'm not the kind of person who tells someone something and then goes back on her word. That's more of why I was so upset really. I think if I saw my bf paying for something that he didn't need (because let's face it I DIDN'T need this stuff...) I'd question him. I'm not sure I would have flipped out, but I probably would have given the cold shoulder. I believe that he's right about the money thing, but the biggest problem is that he just doesn't like the little dogs. I said in a previous update post that we worked it all out and we're going to have the heart to heart talk when the time is right, and he's willing to work with me on the little dog thing, however long I wait. It all just depends on the way life plans out. We definitely don't need the counseling though as people have suggested. All of our friends and parents consider us to have the most stable relationship for two young people. I agree, but I'm not going to say we don't have issues. But I don't believe there is a PERFECT man out there. There just isn't. Just like I don't think there's a perfect woman. I'm by NO means perfect...I can be so annoying sometimes I think (lol) and he just lets all of my little petty things go. Vice versa he can be weird and annoying too. We're all entitled to our own quirks and just because he doesn't like little dogs and thinks I shouldn't spend $$ on a non-existent dog (Which he's right, I just always see it later haha) doesn't mean we need counseling.

[Dougal&Little]

Originally Posted by mh357

He really thinks they're rats. And he doesn't understand the concept of pampering them like I do. I'm all about that. He's definitely not abusive in any way, but this just annoys me!

Hi ya - this bit just caught my attention. Most blokes don't get pampering anything - except themselves. I saw recently on a tv show called "it's me or the dog" (it's a British dog training show that's ABSOLUTELY fantastic) - this guy couldn't stand his wife's yorkie - he thought it was dumb - then the trainer lady showed him how to train the dog and he totally fell in love with the wee dog. Cos he could interact with the dog on his own terms - I don't know ANY guy whose idea of a fun afternoon is dressing a dog up in cute clothes. (I'm not saying that this is bad in any way I'm just saying guys - well, straight guys - don't see this as a good use for a dog!)

So may be you could try selling the yorkie on the training angle with him! Yorkies are definitely still all dog - even if they just happen to look FABULOUS in clothes. They are also super smart dogs - once you know what motivates them they pick stuff up really quickly.

My two do agility and I know some people do competition obedience with yorkies - but I think you'd need better patience than I do to do that!

When you get your puppy get the puppy and your bloke along to a training class (ideally one that uses positive re-inforcement methods). Training is one of the best ways to build a happy, healthy relationship between you and your dog - or at least that's what I find. You don't have to do competition obedience to enjoy training your dog - we're not even particularly good agility - but we all enjoy it - me, Dougal and Dixie.

That's just my point of view - I hope I don't come across as preachy, I don't mean to .

[BLowry]

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles

I agree! and also if he wants a Rott, I would never have a Yorkie with a Rott!!!!

I agree..with big dogs and small dogs you can have horrible accidents however, the breeder I bough both of my girls from breeds rotties as well. Her inside rottie is the sweetest dog I have ever met. She lets the yorkie pups climb all over her and they will curl up and sleep with her...Now the other 14 she has outside are a different story...They sound like if they got out they would rip you apart..

[needakewlname]

I have had some relationships like the one you are going through and I was told that I care more about the dog then him. So what I think is going on is a little insecurity with your boyfriend.

[Saleswman]

I was thinking of your situation.....and it sounds like some underlying issues.....maybe he is a bit jealous of the "soon to be Yorkie". I know it sounds weird.....but, guys are weird anyway......it sounds like he may has a tad of jealousy about you giving your attention to something besides him.....or maybe it is the money thing.......so maybe start putting 25-50 dollars a week in a sock and put it under the mattress....then when you find the puppy....you will have the money right there......

If you like to read, I suggest a book called "Men are from mars, women from Venus". I am here to tell you..........Guys just dont get us!!!!!! They have no idea why we are like we are.....period....


Good luck....you do really need to resolve this.....or mutally discuss this issue....because I do suspect that this will happen again with something else in your relationship......

[mustangbee]

Originally Posted by BLowry

I agree..with big dogs and small dogs you can have horrible accidents however, the breeder I bough both of my girls from breeds rotties as well. Her inside rottie is the sweetest dog I have ever met. She lets the yorkie pups climb all over her and they will curl up and sleep with her...Now the other 14 she has outside are a different story...They sound like if they got out they would rip you apart..

I have a yorkie and a Rottie. Princess and Mandy are best friends. Mandy is 100 pounds of pure love. She thinks she's a Yorkie. I will admit not all big and small furbabies get along well, but it's all in the way they are brought up. No furbaby is born mean, they act the way they are treated. Mandy is our second Rottie, with a yorkie. Roxanne was the same way, pure love, she was 12 when she passed away. That's why we looked for another one, because Princess missed her so much. They were best friends.